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Permit Jokes

32 permit jokes and hilarious permit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about permit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make driving the roads a bit more bearable with our compilation of the funniest jokes about drivers permits, building permits, grants, licences, and registrations! Our permit jokes will have you laughing out loud no matter what kind of permit you're looking for.

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Funniest Permit Short Jokes

Short permit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The permit humour may include short permission jokes also.

  1. Cop: "Excuse me Miss, but swimming in the lake is not permitted." Woman: "Why didn't you mention this to me when I was getting undressed? Cop: "Well, because that is permitted."
  2. I want a pet duck But can't get one in my town without an agricultural permit.
    Oh, well. no farm, no fowl.
  3. When I asked the tattoo artist to cover my arms with flames, they refused. I don't have a firearms permit.
  4. A sign on an establishment reads "No all-knowing beings permitted." The second line reads "You know what you did."
  5. My girlfriend and I are now in a long distance relationship I still see her all the time, I'm just not legally permitted to be within 1,000 ft. of her.
  6. What did the stewardess say to the vulture when he boarded the flight with two bags? Only one Carrion permitted on this flight.
  7. According to all the laws of aviation, it should be impossible for a bee to fly. This is because no bee has filed a permit with the FAA.
  8. Why wasn't drinking permitted on the Oregon trail? It was important not to fall off the wagon.
  9. What happens when you permit your wife to spend extra hours with her tennis coach? Hopefully a good reason to divorce her.
  10. What's the difference between a pile of leaves and a pile of prostitutes? The cops ask to see my permit when I burn a pile of leaves

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Permit One Liners

Which permit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with permit? I can suggest the ones about allowed and license.

  1. Why did eighteen blonde women go to the movie theater? It said under 17 not permitted.
  2. Is he permitted to be an estonian desk? No, he's not a laud
  3. How can you tell if an American has a conceal carry permit? They'll tell you.
  4. What do you call a frog that gives permission ? Permit The Frog
  5. My humor is so dark it doesn't have a residence permit
  6. I went to an Easter Egg hunt without a permit... ...They caught me poaching eggs.
  7. How german are you on a scale on 1-10? Do you even have a permit for this survey?!
  8. Given the chance, I would probably have s**... with a clock. But only if time permits...

Drivers Permit Jokes

Here is a list of funny drivers permit jokes and even better drivers permit puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Purchase real and Novelty Passports,id cards,visas,drivers license ,Permits for all countries
Permit joke, Purchase real and Novelty Passports,id cards,visas,drivers license ,Permits for all countries

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about permit can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of permit puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Permit Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about permit you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean pass jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make permit prank.

A visitor to Harvard asks a professor...

A visitor to Harvard asks a professor, "Excuse me, but would you be good enough to tell me where the Harvard Library is at?"
"Sir," came the sneering reply, "at Harvard we do not end a sentence with a preposition."
"Well, in that case, forgive me," said the visitor. "Permit me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the Harvard Library is at, j**...?"

A man is pulled over by the police

The officer says to him "Sir, I simply cannot let you continue driving. You were speeding, and not only that, you were driving down the middle of the road!"
The man says, "It's okay, officer, I have a permit from the DMV that says it's fine if I do that."
The police officer is incredulous and demands to see this permit. The man pulls out a printed piece of paper from the DMV and says "See? It says right here: tear down the dotted line."

So I got my concealed carry permit yesterday

So I got my concealed carry gun permit yesterday and then went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small caliber p**... for home protection. When I was ready to pay for the gun, the cashier said, s**... down, facing me. Making a mental note to complain about these new invasive gun control laws, I did as she instructed. After her hysterical shrieking subsided, I realized she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the reader. I still don't think I looked that bad.

(dad joke) A Dad was helping his daughter study for her drivers permit test.

Dad: What do you when the light is green?
Daughter: Go.
Dad: What do you do when the light is red?
Daughter: Stop.
Dad: What do you do when the light is yellow?
Daughter: Slow down
Dad: **WWHHHAAATTTT DDOOOO YOUUUUU DOOOO WHEEEENNNN THEEEEE LIIIIIIIIGHTTT TURRRRNNNSSSS YELLLOOOOOW?**

A guy was smoking while saying prayers.

His shocked friend asked, "Tell me how did the priest allow you to smoke while praying when he refused to permit me."
"What did you ask?" enquired his friend.
"Can I smoke while I am praying?" replied his friend.
"No wonder he refused you because I asked the priest, 'Can I pray while I am smoking?' and he said, 'Yes!'

Some guy just came to my door to explain he registered as a s**... offender

I was like wait, you can buy a permit for that?

A man gets arrested for selling alcohol without a permit. He gets a lawyer who tells to not to worry, he's got a fool-proof defense. The day of the trial arrives, and the lawyer address the jury. Ladies and gentlemen, take a good long look at my client...

...do you think, if he had even a drop of alcohol in his possession, that he would sell it?

Paternal Payback

On the day I received my learner's permit, my father agreed to take me out for a driving lesson. With a big grin, he hopped in behind the driver's seat. Why aren't you sitting up front on the passenger's side? I asked.
Kirsten, I've been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl, Dad replied. Now it's my turn to sit back here and kick the seat.

No one wants to be a s**... creep...

That's why before s**... I always ask to check the birthday on her learner's permit.

"Excuse me!"

"We're doing a survey here in Germany on what's *typically German* to you."
"Do you even have a permit for that?"

(OC) A man walks up to miners at Yosemite and says, your so lucky you got a mining permit here

The miner responds, we take it for granite.

I was the queens hairdresser

I was the queen's hairdresser, I parked outside Buckingham palace and a policeman said "have you got a permit" I said " no just take a bit off the back"

Why doesn't the law permit a man to marry a second woman?

Because the law says you cannot be punished twice for the same offense.

What did the University President in response to a request from the Coalition of c**... Clubs for a permit for an event?

"There is no room on this campus for the CCC or other White Powder groups!"

Permit joke, What did the University President in response to a request from the Coalition of c**... Clubs for a

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these permit jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.