Permit Jokes
31 permit jokes and hilarious permit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about permit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make driving the roads a bit more bearable with our compilation of the funniest jokes about drivers permits, building permits, grants, licences, and registrations! Our permit jokes will have you laughing out loud no matter what kind of permit you're looking for.
Funniest Permit Short Jokes
Short permit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The permit humour may include short permission jokes also.
- Cop: "Excuse me Miss, but swimming in the lake is not permitted." Woman: "Why didn't you mention this to me when I was getting undressed? Cop: "Well, because that is permitted."
- I want a pet duck But can't get one in my town without an agricultural permit.
Oh, well. no farm, no fowl. - When I asked the tattoo artist to cover my arms with flames, they refused. I don't have a firearms permit.
- A sign on an establishment reads "No all-knowing beings permitted." The second line reads "You know what you did."
- According to all the laws of aviation, it should be impossible for a bee to fly. This is because no bee has filed a permit with the FAA.
- Why wasn't drinking permitted on the Oregon trail? It was important not to fall off the wagon.
- What happens when you permit your wife to spend extra hours with her tennis coach? Hopefully a good reason to divorce her.
- What's the difference between a pile of leaves and a pile of prostitutes? The cops ask to see my permit when I burn a pile of leaves
- Our neighbour is renowned for abductions. There's a sign outside his house. It says: "Trespassing Permitted."
- Schools in Canada have an exclusive honor's society for a select few of their students... The only students permitted are the ones with straight Eh's.
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Permit One Liners
Which permit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with permit? I can suggest the ones about license and pass.
- Is he permitted to be an estonian desk? No, he's not a laud
- How can you tell if an American has a conceal carry permit? They'll tell you.
- What do you call a frog that gives permission ? Permit The Frog
- My humor is so dark it doesn't have a residence permit
- I went to an Easter Egg hunt without a permit... ...They caught me poaching eggs.
- Given the chance, I would probably have s**... with a clock. But only if time permits...
- How german are you on a scale on 1-10? Do you even have a permit for this survey?!
Drivers Permit Jokes
Here is a list of funny drivers permit jokes and even better drivers permit puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Purchase real and Novelty Passports,id cards,visas,drivers license ,Permits for all countries
Permit Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about permit you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean approve jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make permit pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A visitor to Harvard asks a professor...
A visitor to Harvard asks a professor, "Excuse me, but would you be good enough to tell me where the Harvard Library is at?"
"Sir," came the sneering reply, "at Harvard we do not end a sentence with a preposition."
"Well, in that case, forgive me," said the visitor. "Permit me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the Harvard Library is at, j**...?"
A man is pulled over by the police
The officer says to him "Sir, I simply cannot let you continue driving. You were speeding, and not only that, you were driving down the middle of the road!"
The man says, "It's okay, officer, I have a permit from the DMV that says it's fine if I do that."
The police officer is incredulous and demands to see this permit. The man pulls out a printed piece of paper from the DMV and says "See? It says right here: tear down the dotted line."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I got my concealed carry permit yesterday
So I got my concealed carry gun permit yesterday and then went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small caliber p**... for home protection. When I was ready to pay for the gun, the cashier said, s**... down, facing me. Making a mental note to complain about these new invasive gun control laws, I did as she instructed. After her hysterical shrieking subsided, I realized she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the reader. I still don't think I looked that bad.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
(dad joke) A Dad was helping his daughter study for her drivers permit test.
Dad: What do you when the light is green?
Daughter: Go.
Dad: What do you do when the light is red?
Daughter: Stop.
Dad: What do you do when the light is yellow?
Daughter: Slow down
Dad: **WWHHHAAATTTT DDOOOO YOUUUUU DOOOO WHEEEENNNN THEEEEE LIIIIIIIIGHTTT TURRRRNNNSSSS YELLLOOOOOW?**
A guy was smoking while saying prayers.
His shocked friend asked, "Tell me how did the priest allow you to smoke while praying when he refused to permit me."
"What did you ask?" enquired his friend.
"Can I smoke while I am praying?" replied his friend.
"No wonder he refused you because I asked the priest, 'Can I pray while I am smoking?' and he said, 'Yes!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Some guy just came to my door to explain he registered as a s**... offender
I was like wait, you can buy a permit for that?
A man gets arrested for selling alcohol without a permit. He gets a lawyer who tells to not to worry, he's got a fool-proof defense. The day of the trial arrives, and the lawyer address the jury. Ladies and gentlemen, take a good long look at my client...
...do you think, if he had even a drop of alcohol in his possession, that he would sell it?
Paternal Payback
On the day I received my learner's permit, my father agreed to take me out for a driving lesson. With a big grin, he hopped in behind the driver's seat. Why aren't you sitting up front on the passenger's side? I asked.
Kirsten, I've been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl, Dad replied. Now it's my turn to sit back here and kick the seat.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
No one wants to be a s**... creep...
That's why before s**... I always ask to check the birthday on her learner's permit.
"Excuse me!"
"We're doing a survey here in Germany on what's *typically German* to you."
"Do you even have a permit for that?"
(OC) A man walks up to miners at Yosemite and says, your so lucky you got a mining permit here
The miner responds, we take it for granite.
I was the queens hairdresser
I was the queen's hairdresser, I parked outside Buckingham palace and a policeman said "have you got a permit" I said " no just take a bit off the back"
Why doesn't the law permit a man to marry a second woman?
Because the law says you cannot be punished twice for the same offense.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the University President in response to a request from the Coalition of c**... Clubs for a permit for an event?
"There is no room on this campus for the CCC or other White Powder groups!"
