Periodic Table Jokes

127 periodic table jokes and hilarious periodic table puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about periodic table that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

What is a Periodic Table Joke?

The periodic table is a powerful tool for understanding and organizing the elements of the world around us. This can also be a little bit fun, and you can make up jokes about the elements. These jokes are called periodic table jokes, and they are a great way to learn more about elements while having a good time. For example, let’s look at the element Helium. Helium is known for making things lighter and bubbly, so a joke might be, "What did the helium balloon say to the cactus? Nothing, because it can't talk!" Playing around with different elements and their unique qualities can be a great source of amusement!

Types of Periodic Table Jokes

Periodic Table jokes are a fun and entertaining way to learn about elements! They range from puns that utilize the atomic symbols as a joke to clever wordplays involving the atomic weight or element name. For example, a joke about a neptunium atom might be, "What did the Neptunium atom say to its neighbor? 'See you in a few neutrons!'" Some of these jokes also allow you to learn more intricate details about elements, like how certain elements react in certain conditions which is a great way to expand your science knowledge in a fun and silly way!

History and Origins of Periodic Table Jokes

The periodic table of elements has been a staple of chemistry classes for many years. It is a collection of all known chemical elements arranged in a specific way. Though it may seem like a dry subject, it has sparked a quite unexpected side effect—periodic table jokes! These clever quips are a fun way to remember element symbols or properties, and they’ve been around since the 1970s. Many theories exist about who first came up with the idea, from chemists to classroom teachers. Regardless of its origin, it’s clear that these pun-filled jokes are a beloved educational tool. So the next time you’re asked to recite the periodic table, you can make it memorable (and memorable) with a well-timed gag!

Examples of Periodic Table Jokes

1. Q: Why do chemists like to work with the periodic table?
A: Because it’s full of amazing elements!

2. Q: What did one argon atom say to another argon atom?
A: Let’s stick together!

3. Q: What did the alkaline earth metal say to the noble gas?
A: I'm feeling a bit reactive today!

Quick Jump To

Short Periodic Table Jokes
Periodic Table One Liners
Periodic Table Element Jokes
Periodic Table Of Elements Jokes
Chemistry Periodic Table Jokes
Periodic Table Day Jokes
More Periodic Table Jokes

Funniest Periodic Table Short Jokes

Short periodic table jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The periodic table humour may include short periodic element jokes also.

A man recently died after a periodic table display fell on him... The official cause of death was, "Exposure to the element".
A Halloween Limerick A lady vampire named Mable
Had a period that was awfully stable.
So once a full moon
She took out her spoon
And drank herself under the table.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table... Because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris joke cause it's been a long time. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
The chemistry department cafeteria has good food, but finding a place to sit can be a challenge. They only have periodic tables.
The periodic table just got one block smaller Scientists now say Plutonium is not a real element
If I was an element on the Periodic Table... ...I'd be a noble gas. I don't form bonds easily, if at all.
My chemist wife refurnishes the dining room quite often She favors periodic tables over more permanent ones
I just noticed the Periodic Table has been updated recently. Welcome #119- "AH"! The element of surprise!
There once was a vampire named Mable Who's period was ever so stable
So every full moon
She pulled out a spoon
And drank herself under the table

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Periodic Table One Liners

Which periodic table one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with periodic table? I can suggest the ones about elements periodic and table of elements.

How often do scientists check the element table? Periodically...
What's another name for the Periodic Table of elements? The atoms family.
I auditioned for a musical about the periodic table I got the lead role!
Periodic table jokes are the best. But only when I'm in my element.
How often do scientists reference the Table of Elements? Periodically.
Breaking: scientists sneak up on periodic table And add the element of surprise
Which element of the Periodic Table is the poorest? Antimony. ^I'm ^so ^sorry...
What does AH stand for in the Periodic Table? The Element of Surprise
I would tell a joke about the periodic table. But sadly all the good ones argon.
What do you call a table with dots all over it? The periodic table!
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
The periodic table says it's Bi, But that's none of my bismuth.
It's never a good idea to steal a periodic table Coppers always Cu
My friend asked me if she could use my periodic table I said "sorry, I left it atom"
What do you say when leaving the Periodic Table of Elements' police station? Cu Copper.

Periodic Table Element Jokes

Here is a list of funny periodic table element jokes and even better periodic table element puns that will make you laugh with friends.

Why is the element Ah always so hard to find on the periodic table? It's the element of surprise.
Why must aspiring ninjas study the periodic table? To master the element of surprise! - haha happy Saturday 🙂
What element in the Periodic Table of Elements can you not take seriously? Silly-con!
What's after the last element on the periodic table AH- the element of surprise
Chuck Norris doesn't recognize the Periodic Table... ...because the only element he believes in is the element of surprise.
I don't understand Oganesson It's currently the last element on the periodic table, but it claims to be the Og
Sherlock Holmes, how is the periodic table structured? It's elementally, my dear Watson.
Which element on the periodic table is best at concealing itself? Hydrogen.
Chuck Norris does not acknowledge the Periodic Table of Elements ... because the only element he cares about is the element of surprise.
I think the 79th element in the periodic table is hilarious It's comedy gold!

Periodic Table Of Elements Jokes

Here is a list of funny periodic table of elements jokes and even better periodic table of elements puns that will make you laugh with friends.

New element on periodic table It is called AH! It is an element of surprise
What's a pirate's favorite element on the periodic table? Gold!
(works better when told - most will interrupt with "Arrrrrrrrrgon!")
What does my dad and the 18th element of the periodic table have in common? They both argon
Paul Simon wrote a song from the perspective of the 13th element on the Periodic Table. You Can Call Me Al
When is milk on the Periodic Table of Elements When it spills.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because it hasn't got the element of surprise.
What is a SJW's least favorite element on the periodic table? Helium.
The element of surprise is the best element on the periodic table Because you don't even know it's there.
What do you call an equally dangerous and fabulous element of the periodic table? Freddie Mercury!
What is a grave digger's favorite element on the periodic table? Barium

Chemistry Periodic Table Jokes

Here is a list of funny chemistry periodic table jokes and even better chemistry periodic table puns that will make you laugh with friends.

How does a female chemistry teacher find out its that time of the month again? She simply looks into the Periodic table

Periodic Table Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny periodic table day jokes and even better periodic table day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

What did the rest of the periodic table say as gold went home at the end of the day? Au revoir!

Howlingly Hilarious Periodic Table Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about periodic table you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean element table jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make periodic table pranks.

Chem students do it on the table periodically.

This may sound arrogant but I think I could make a better Periodic Table.

New (Periodic Table) Element

A new element added to the PERIODIC TABLE :
Name: Girl
Symbol: Gl
Atomic weight: Don't even dare to ask.
Physical properties:
1. Boils at any time,
2. Melts when handled with love and care,
3. very bitter when mishandled.
Chemical properties:
1. Very reactive,
2. Highly unstable,
3. Possesses high affinity to gold, platinum, diamond, branded clothes and other expensive items.
Nature:
1. Money reducing agent.
2. Volatile when left alone.
Occurrence:
Mostly found in front of the mirrors.

Some (eye-rolling) Chemistry Pick-up Lines for the Valentine's season

* Are you made of Carbon? Because it feels like my world revolves around you.
* You're my Lithium.
* Are you an anion? Because I'm positive we're meant to be together.
* My heart is made of Gallium. It melts when you're close to me.
* Are you Fluorine? Because i can't seem to get myself away from you.
* My heart burns like a mole of suns for you.
* If I could rearrange the periodic table, I'd put U and I together.
* Who needs Hydrogen if you're my #1?.
* I can feel a bond forming between us.
Any others would be appreciated

Ironman = Female

Iron = Fe (ferrum in the periodic table)
Man = male
Substitution cipher.

There was this really talented female painter

and one day she painted this magnificent painting inspired by medieval times of a ball. It was filled with lords and ladies dancing with each other, a table filled with food for the feast, fools entertaining, and men in armor standing guard. She was so proud of this picture she called her friend over to show it to her.
The friend saw it and said, "Wow this is really great! But I have just one question, why was this painted mostly in red?"
"Well I used my menstrual blood to paint most of it." The painter replied. Her friend just stared at her in horror. She continued to explain, "Its a period piece you see."

Famous physicist Dirac is talking about his favorite elementary particles...

Dirac says he is "very fond of electrons, they exist in all the atoms in our bodies, explain chemical reactions and the periodic table, and their flow in electrical circuits enables much of modern technology and beautiful lighting at night. Positrons however, well that's another matter altogether."

p**...

Teacher: Describe hydrogen Student: It is a p**... element
Teacher: Who taught you that?
Student: You said it does not belong to a particular group and it reacts with almost all the elements in the periodic table.

Are you made of Fluorine, Astatine, Arsenic, and Sulfer?

Because you're a F At As S :D
And if you dont get the joke, you must be made of Deuterium, Uranium, Muriaticum, and Boron... cause You're D U M B!
What i'm trying to say is study your periodic table...
Maybe you will find out two elements arent on the periodic table ;)

Vampire limerick

A tad less obvious than most.........
There was a young vampire called Mable,
who's periods were very stable.
Every full moon she would get out a spoon ,
and drink herself under the table.

What is the Friendliest Chemical Element of the Periodic Table?

Bromine.

Did you hear about the guys who stole Ar off the periodic table?

They Argon and got away.

There was a young vampire called Mabel...

With periods exceedingly stable
By the light of the moon
She sat down with a spoon
And drank herself under the table.

Just got a job as a scientist

and I fell in love with the periodic table whilst the music was on.
It was my chemical romance.

What is the most violent element of the periodic table?

Ni, because Ni for an eye

When and where do chemists have s**...?

Periodically, on the table.

I need some information on an extinct Pachyderm...

Can I borrow your periodic table of the elephants?

Nerdy pickup line.

Hey baby, Are you uranium because I'm Iodine and if it was up to me I would rearrange the periodic table around and put U and I together. ;)

Why do all the elements get cranky once a month?

Cause they are on their periodic table.

Apparently some people on Tumblr say they're s**... attracted to elements on the periodic table.

That's not really my thing ... except for that time in college when I experimented with carbon dating.

Why does the Egyptian god Ra own every Periodic Table?

Because his name is on them.

What is all this #Brexit going around?

When did Bromine decide to leave the periodic table?

The one that knows their periodic table better than anyone else....

has to be a girl.

What do female scientists look at once a month?

The Periodic Table of Elements.

What do Waitresses and Chemists have in common?

They both need to check the table periodically...

Call me the 7th noble gas.

Cuz I'm Og.
(yay for the completion of the 7th row of the periodic table!)

A friend showed me a periodic table app he made.

I told him, "Cool. When's the next update?"
He replied, "You see, one of the basic elements of app-making is that you have to update it periodically."

How do you track the reproductive cycle of pachyderms?

With the Periodic Table of Elephants.

Somebody once told me that the symbol for Lithium was LT.

I glanced at the periodic table. Clearly, it was Li.

What do you call a bleeding table

The periodic table!!

There once was a vampire named Mable

Whose periods were quite stable.
One night at full moon,
She sat with a spoon,
And drank herself under the table.

If Iron on the Periodic Table is "Fe,"

Couldn't Iron Man also be called Female?

What is the acid of the periodic table?

IO4

What did the student say after learning all the symbols on the periodic table?

Fluorine-Uranium-Carbon-Potassium this! Never again!

What goes across the periodic table?

The periodic table cloth.

Now young chemist, never forget the Iron code of the periodic table...

Fe-26

Periodic table lesson

What did the scientist say when he found two helium atoms?

"He-He!"

(It's ok I know where the door is, bye)

Who wants to hear my joke about the periodic table?

Actually Na, people won't get it.

What does Mr Krabs have to do with the periodic table?

Agagagagagagag

At an international military convention during the Cold War,

various generals from around the world gathered to brag about their accomplishments. An American general stood up and proudly stated, "In the US military, all of our soldiers get 3000 calories a day and we can raise it to 5000 during periods of hard training."
A Soviet general, upon hearing this, glared at his American counterpart, pulled out his notepad, and started scribbling furiously. Before the next general could speak, he slapped the table, pointed at the American, and shouted, "You liar! No soldier could possibly eat 7 kilograms of potatoes a day!"
I heard this joke while studying Russian in Georgia. Hopefully it translates to English ok :)

A world renowned chemist dies.

A world renowned chemist dies. His will states that he wishes for all of his favorite elements from the periodic table be included with his body. They go to his wife and ask "Are we really going to put a bunch of elements in his casket?
To which she replies
"No, just Barium"

In chemistry class the experiment called for 36 grams of the 83rd element on the periodic table. I could see that the girl next to me had weighed out 42 grams. When I told her she was getting a bit heavy she said....

I should mind my own bismuth.