Periodic Jokes

It's time to go beyond the periodic table and learn some fun periodic jokes! Laugh away at funny jokes about thorium, bromine, and other elements, and get ready to chuckle regularly as you get to know the humorous side of the world of chemistry.

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Periodic Jokes

What do you call a table with dots all over it?

The periodic table!

Some (eye-rolling) Chemistry Pick-up Lines for the Valentine's season

* Are you made of Carbon? Because it feels like my world revolves around you.
* You're my Lithium.
* Are you an anion? Because I'm positive we're meant to be together.
* My heart is made of Gallium. It melts when you're close to me.
* Are you Fluorine? Because i can't seem to get myself away from you.
* My heart burns like a mole of suns for you.
* If I could rearrange the periodic table, I'd put U and I together.
* Who needs Hydrogen if you're my #1?.
* I can feel a bond forming between us.

Any others would be appreciated

What's another name for the Periodic Table of elements?

The atoms family.

Are you made of Fluorine, Astatine, Arsenic, and Sulfer?

Because you're a F At As S :D

And if you dont get the joke, you must be made of Deuterium, Uranium, Muriaticum, and Boron... cause You're D U M B!

What i'm trying to say is study your periodic table...

Maybe you will find out two elements arent on the periodic table ;)

jokes about periodic

Which element of the Periodic Table is the poorest?

Antimony. ^I'm ^so ^sorry...

Breaking: scientists sneak up on periodic table

And add the element of surprise

Sherlock Holmes, how is the periodic table structured?

It's elementally, my dear Watson.

Periodic joke, Sherlock Holmes, how is the periodic table structured?

I periodically tell chemistry jokes

But usually there is no reaction.

Probably people are just too noble.

Chuck Norris doesn't recognize the Periodic Table...

...because the only element he believes in is the element of surprise.

Nerdy pickup line.

Hey baby, Are you uranium because I'm Iodine and if it was up to me I would rearrange the periodic table around and put U and I together. ;)

Apparently some people on Tumblr say they're sexually attracted to elements on the periodic table.

That's not really my thing ... except for that time in college when I experimented with carbon dating.

You can explore periodic regularly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean periodic quarterly dad jokes. There are also periodic puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I don't like guys who only make periodic chemistry jokes at parties.

I usually ask those Mendeleev.

What is all this #Brexit going around?

When did Bromine decide to leave the periodic table?

The one that knows their periodic table better than anyone else....

has to be a girl.

Why don't we use some Fourier Analysis on our relationship

And reduce to a series of periodic functions.

Chuck Norris joke cause it's been a long time.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Periodic joke, Chuck Norris joke cause it's been a long time.

What element in the Periodic Table of Elements can you not take seriously?


What do you say when leaving the Periodic Table of Elements' police station?

Cu Copper.

A friend showed me a periodic table app he made.

I told him, "Cool. When's the next update?"

He replied, "You see, one of the basic elements of app-making is that you have to update it periodically."

Why must aspiring ninjas study the periodic table?

To master the element of surprise! - haha happy Saturday 🙂

What's after the last element on the periodic table

AH- the element of surprise

If I was an element on the Periodic Table...

...I'd be a noble gas. I don't form bonds easily, if at all.

My friend asked me if she could use my periodic table

I said "sorry, I left it atom"

The periodic table just got one block smaller

Scientists now say Plutonium is not a real element

How do you track the reproductive cycle of pachyderms?

With the Periodic Table of Elephants.

Periodic abstinence as contraception can be successful, provided one meets three very strict conditions:

1. The woman must have a very regular menstrual cycle.
2. You must be able to count well.
3. And you must really love children.

Loosely translated from Herman Finkers. My favorite dutch comedian.

Periodic joke, Periodic abstinence as contraception can be successful, provided one meets three very strict conditi

What does AH stand for in the Periodic Table?

The Element of Surprise

Somebody once told me that the symbol for Lithium was LT.

I glanced at the periodic table. Clearly, it was Li.

I auditioned for a musical about the periodic table

I got the lead role!

The chemistry department cafeteria has good food, but finding a place to sit can be a challenge.

They only have periodic tables.

I just noticed the Periodic Table has been updated recently. Welcome #119- "AH"!

The element of surprise!

My HS Chemistry teacher told us how to remember the periodic symbols for Silver and Gold-

If someone tried to steal your silver, you'd say A G, I lost my silver. But if someone tried to steal your gold, you'd say A U! Give me back my gold!

What's the North Korean leader's favorite periodic element?

Un un quadium. Then, uranium

If Iron on the Periodic Table is "Fe,"

Couldn't Iron Man also be called Female?

Why is the element Ah always so hard to find on the periodic table?

It's the element of surprise.

OK, who decided to call it "PMS"...

when it could have been "periodic insanity"?

It's never a good idea to steal a periodic table

Coppers always Cu

How many periodic elements does it take to turn on a light?

Sulfur, Tungsten, Iodine, Technetium, and Hydrogen.

What is the acid of the periodic table?


What did the student say after learning all the symbols on the periodic table?

Fluorine-Uranium-Carbon-Potassium this! Never again!

Periodic table lesson

What did the scientist say when he found two helium atoms?


(It's ok I know where the door is, bye)

Who wants to hear my joke about the periodic table?

Actually Na, people won't get it.

What does Mr Krabs have to do with the periodic table?


What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?

Au revoir.

A world renowned chemist dies.

A world renowned chemist dies. His will states that he wishes for all of his favorite elements from the periodic table be included with his body. They go to his wife and ask "Are we really going to put a bunch of elements in his casket?
To which she replies
"No, just Barium"

In chemistry class the experiment called for 36 grams of the 83rd element on the periodic table. I could see that the girl next to me had weighed out 42 grams. When I told her she was getting a bit heavy she said....

I should mind my own bismuth.

A man recently died after a periodic table display fell on him...

The official cause of death was, "Exposure to the Elements".

I would tell a joke about the periodic table.

But sadly all the good ones argon.

What's a pirates favorite element on the periodic table?

Gold. What the hell would they need argon for?

Periodic table jokes are the best.

But only when I'm in my element.

My chemist wife refurnishes the dining room quite often

She favors periodic tables over more permanent ones

A zookeeper is giving a chemist a tour of the zoo.

The zookeeper gestures at a fancy new building proudly and says to the scientist "This is our replacement 'Pachyderm Palace'. It's newly built, and is not fully accessible, so it's only in use on Tuesdays."

The chemist says "Ah, so it's a periodic stable for the elephants."

The periodic table says it's Bi,

But that's none of my bismuth.

What's a pirate's favorite periodic element?

Gold. What would a pirate want to do with Argon?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the periodic periodic table of elements puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working periodic periodic table element piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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