The Best 46 Perfume Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Perfume jokes. There are some perfume deodorant jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these perfume smell puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Perfume Jokes and Puns
A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.
She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?!" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in- law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress," she explained." It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me".
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered sensually.
"Needs ironing"...
Returning on Investment
After being away on buisness, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle costing $50. "That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.
"That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15 bottle.
"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."
The clerk handed him a mirror.
My wife got really angry when I spent a lot of money on a make-your-own perfume kit
...but it made scents to me
Why do girls wear make up and perfume?
Because they are ugly and they smell bad.
(Hopefully no one said that joke on here. I heard it from South Park a while ago)
Our perfume store is finally going out of business...
I guess it just makes scents.Nobody nose about us.
Woman: When my husband died...
...his dying wish was to be liquidised into perfume.
Friend: It's so sad that he's gone.
Woman: Well he's still here in essence.
A Man to a lady sitting next to him in flight.
Man: "Which perfume do you use ? It smells good. I want to buy one for my wife."
Lady: "Please don't. Some idiot will have an excuse to talk to her."
Women can't say no to three things;
Shoes, bags, chocolate, diamonds, clothes, perfume, food, flowers, money, cosmetics, attention, romance, kindness, adventure, affection, unpredictability, confidence, humor, ice cream, shopping, free drinks..
Husband's night out
An angry housewife met her husband at the front door and immediately noticed he smelled of alcohol and perfume.
"I assume," she said with her most acidic sarcasm, "That there must be a very good reason for your coming home at six o'clock in the morning with booze on your breath and another woman's perfume all over you."
"There is," he said. "I'd like breakfast."
I saw the last perfume made by Internet Explorer .
I was fascinated by the slogan : " use it today, smell it tomorrow"
I'm starting to get self-conscious about my body odour...
On my last two dates the woman has sprayed me with perfume before we had sex. I can't quite place the brand but it had a distinct sharp peppery smell.
You can explore perfume reek reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean perfume cologne dad jokes. There are also perfume puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
SWEET PERFUME
A high class looking woman sat down next to me on the train. I took in a breath and asked aloud, 'What's that smell?'
She turned to me, looked down her nose and said, 'Chanel, 500 dollars an ounce." She turned away.
About 10 minutes later, I let out a silent fart. She turns to me and asks ,What's that smell?'
I say, "Broccoli, $1.49 a pound.'
Did you hear the one about the perfume store?
I heard their manufacturing was in an ol' factory.
There's a new perfume being marketed to the super poor that contains a singular ingredient...
It's called One Scent
Big sale in the perfume department ...
it's all 50 per scent off.
Why do girls wear perfume and makeup?
Because they're ugly and they smell bad
At the post office....
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
Did you hear about the Spanish Perfume?
"For hispanic and for herspanic"
A robber broke into a perfume store...
He raided the register and stole everything in the store, he took every last scent.
Sweetheart, you remind me the sea.
>Why? is it because of my beautiful blue eyes reminding you the ocean's water?
No
>I know, it's because of my curly hair, reminds you the waves.
Not really.
>So it's my perfume? reminds you that fresh air near the beach?
Nope.
>So what is it then?
You make me sick.
Elon Musk has decided to abandon his dream of going to Mars and pursue a career in perfume sales.
In honor of the canceled Mars program he will be debuting 'SpaceAxe', a signature Elon "Musk".
Now that I have quit smoking i see more and more each day how its like an old relationship...
You smell her perfume, see her out with another man
and all you can think of is the good times and
not how she took part of your life away.
Have you heard about Beyoncé's new perfume line,
Beyotch?
I've just invented a perfume made from holy water.
Eau my God
I know someone who went bankrupt from buying up stocks of perfume. Know why?
People had accused her of having more money than scents.
What's the best perfume for a woman to wear on her death bed?
Ghost anticipation.....
I told my dad that I wanted to be a perfume manufacturer.
He replied "That makes scents."
Did you guys hear the one about the perfume factory that went out of business?
Nevermind, it doesn't really make scents anymore
What's a $2100 perfume?
A Scent of Pride and Accomplishment
Did you hear about the person who spent over £1 million in the perfume shop?
They had more money than scents.
Two blondes [NSFW]
One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi."
The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me."
So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."
A sweet young girl walks into an elevator at Macy's, trailing a cloud of expensive perfume.
She brags to the elderly woman who was inside, Coco Chanel $900 per ounce.
The lift reaches the second floor where the old lady is about to get off. As she steps out of the elevator, she rips out a rumbling fart. Trailing a heavy cloud, she smiles sweetly and announces, broccoli, 49 cents a pound.
Did you hear about the new perfume with no smell?
It doesn't make sense.
Why did the alien pre-emptively put perfume on before boarding the human spaceship?
Because the ship had Musk written all over it
I went to the perfume store and asked the guy there, "Penny for your thoughts?"
He replied, "I'm quite sorry, sir, but I only have scents."
I once saw a priest get hit in the face by a perfume burner during mass.
The priest was incensed.
I want to open a perfume store...
I'd call it: "Common Scents."
A guy walks into a bar, sits at a table and orders a beer.
He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine's day cards, write inside them and stamp them with "Love" stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope.
The bartender finally can't contain his curiosity and approaches the man. "You must have 500 or more cards there," the bartender says. "I've got to admit I'm curious what you're doing."
"Oh, every year at Valentine's Day I send out 500 cards, each one signed 'Guess Who?'" the guy says.
"But why?" the bartender asks.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the guy replies.
Did you hear about the explosion at the workshop where they make perfume?
It blew up the olfactory
What is the most expensive perfume called?
Elon Musk.
You know what makes sense?
Perfume factories.
I have a joke about perfume...
...but it doesn't make any scents.
What do you call it when someone puts on too much perfume?
Eauverload.
A guy asked a beautiful lady sitting next to him 'Nice perfume, which one is it? I want to give it to my wife!'
Lady: 'Don't give her. Some idiot will find an excuse to talk to her!'
What do you call a perfume for amphibians?
A frogrance
I just made this up. I hope you like it
Sharp Retort
A young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to an old woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"
Another young, beautiful woman gets onto the elevator and also smells of very expensive perfume. She arrogantly turns to the old woman and says, "Chanel No. 5, $150 dollars an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both of the women in the eyes, farts, and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound!"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the perfume musk jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working perfume flam piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.