Perfume Jokes
71 perfume jokes and hilarious perfume puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about perfume that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make scent-sational conversation with these hilarious Perfume Jokes! Sure to bring a fresh scent of humor to any occasion, these bad perfume puns will have you smelling for more. Try them out on your friends when you need to freshen up the conversation!
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Funniest Perfume Short Jokes
Short perfume jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The perfume humour may include short fragrance jokes also.
- What do you call a perfume for amphibians? A frogrance
I just made this up. I hope you like it - A man walks into a cosmetic store and asks.. Man: How much for that funny spray that makes people smell better?
Worker: Perfume?
Man: No, per bottle would be nice - A Man to a lady sitting next to him in flight. Man: "Which perfume do you use ? It smells good. I want to buy one for my wife."
Lady: "Please don't. Some idiot will have an excuse to talk to her." - I tried to buy something from a perfume vending machine, but it was broken. It just had a sign on it that said "Out of Odor".
- A guy asked a beautiful lady sitting next to him 'Nice perfume, which one is it? I want to give it to my wife!' Lady: 'Don't give her. Some idiot will find an excuse to talk to her!'
- My wife got really angry when I spent a lot of money on a make-your-own perfume kit ...but it made scents to me
- Did you hear about the perfume factory that went bankrupt? It just stopped making scents/sense/cents
- My girlfriend spends all her money on expensive perfumes.. I feel like she has no common scents.
- Did you hear the one about the perfume store? I heard their manufacturing was in an ol' factory.
- I told my wife that I wanted to get a new job making perfume She replied "That makes scents."
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Perfume One Liners
Which perfume one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with perfume? I can suggest the ones about deodorant and cologne.
- They made a Hindenburg-scented perfume It's called Eau De Humanitie
- Please don't use odd and obscure colognes and perfumes.... Common scents, people!
- I've just invented a perfume made from holy water. Eau my God
- I have a joke about perfume... ...but it doesn't make any scents.
- I bought a perfume that has no fragrance. It makes no scents.
- Perfume and cologne can now be transferred via email. They go into your scent folder.
- Perfume is a very logical business. It always makes scents.
- Kim and Kanye's kid launched a new perfume in her own name. North—by North West.
- What do you call it when someone puts on too much perfume? Eauverload.
- I told my dad that I wanted to be a perfume manufacturer. He replied "That makes scents."
- What's a $2100 perfume? A Scent of Pride and Accomplishment
- Did you hear about the new perfume with no smell? It doesn't make sense.
- Did you hear about the lazy perfume-maker? He made no scents.
- You know what makes sense? Perfume factories.
- I want to open a perfume store... I'd call it: "Common Scents."
Cheerful Fun Perfume Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about perfume you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean smell jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make perfume pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.
She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally n**.... Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?!" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in- law answered.
"But you're n**...!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're n**...!"
"Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress," she explained." It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me".
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered sensually.
"Needs ironing"...
Returning on Investment
After being away on buisness, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle costing $50. "That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.
"That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15 bottle.
"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."
The clerk handed him a mirror.
Our perfume store is finally going out of business...
I guess it just makes scents.Nobody nose about us.
Woman: When my husband died...
...his dying wish was to be liquidised into perfume.
Friend: It's so sad that he's gone.
Woman: Well he's still here in essence.
Women can't say no to three things;
Shoes, bags, chocolate, diamonds, clothes, perfume, food, flowers, money, cosmetics, attention, romance, kindness, adventure, affection, unpredictability, confidence, humor, ice cream, shopping, free drinks..
Husband's night out
An angry housewife met her husband at the front door and immediately noticed he smelled of alcohol and perfume.
"I assume," she said with her most acidic sarcasm, "That there must be a very good reason for your coming home at six o'clock in the morning with booze on your breath and another woman's perfume all over you."
"There is," he said. "I'd like breakfast."
I saw the last perfume made by Internet Explorer .
I was fascinated by the slogan : " use it today, smell it tomorrow"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm starting to get self-conscious about my body odour...
On my last two dates the woman has sprayed me with perfume before we had s**.... I can't quite place the brand but it had a distinct sharp peppery smell.
There's a new perfume being marketed to the super poor that contains a singular ingredient...
It's called One Scent
Big sale in the perfume department ...
it's all 50 per scent off.
At the post office....
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
Did you hear about the Spanish Perfume?
"For hispanic and for herspanic"
A robber broke into a perfume store...
He raided the register and stole everything in the store, he took every last scent.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sweetheart, you remind me the sea.
>Why? is it because of my beautiful blue eyes reminding you the ocean's water?
No
>I know, it's because of my curly hair, reminds you the waves.
Not really.
>So it's my perfume? reminds you that fresh air near the beach?
Nope.
>So what is it then?
You make me sick.
Now that I have quit smoking i see more and more each day how its like an old relationship...
You smell her perfume, see her out with another man
and all you can think of is the good times and
not how she took part of your life away.
Have you heard about Beyoncé's new perfume line,
Beyotch?
Perfume Released For Babies - Just In Time For Christmas!
New Gucci Goo - By Gucci
I know someone who went bankrupt from buying up stocks of perfume. Know why?
People had accused her of having more money than scents.
The perfume factory owned by a surrealist painter has had to close down...
.. because it never made scents.
What's the best perfume for a woman to wear on her death bed?
Ghost anticipation.....
Did you hear about the person who spent over £1 million in the perfume shop?
They had more money than scents.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A sweet young girl walks into an elevator at Macy's, trailing a cloud of expensive perfume.
She brags to the elderly woman who was inside, Coco Chanel $900 per ounce.
The lift reaches the second floor where the old lady is about to get off. As she steps out of the elevator, she rips out a rumbling f**.... Trailing a heavy cloud, she smiles sweetly and announces, broccoli, 49 cents a pound.
Why did the alien pre-emptively put perfume on before boarding the human spaceship?
Because the ship had Musk written all over it
I went to the perfume store and asked the guy there, "Penny for your thoughts?"
He replied, "I'm quite sorry, sir, but I only have scents."
I once saw a priest get hit in the face by a perfume burner during mass.
The priest was incensed.
A guy walks into a bar, sits at a table and orders a beer.
He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine's day cards, write inside them and stamp them with "Love" stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope.
The bartender finally can't contain his curiosity and approaches the man. "You must have 500 or more cards there," the bartender says. "I've got to admit I'm curious what you're doing."
"Oh, every year at Valentine's Day I send out 500 cards, each one signed 'Guess Who?'" the guy says.
"But why?" the bartender asks.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the guy replies.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the e**... at the workshop where they make perfume?
It blew up the olfactory
What is the most expensive perfume called?
Elon Musk.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sharp Retort
A young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to an old woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"
Another young, beautiful woman gets onto the elevator and also smells of very expensive perfume. She arrogantly turns to the old woman and says, "Chanel No. 5, $150 dollars an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both of the women in the eyes, farts, and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Not your typical response
Some guy was having fun with another woman in her house. He finished up and as he was ready to leave, he realizes he smells like her perfume. So he had a great idea. He went to a local bar, drank a few good ones and went home.
His wife smelled him and said:
"Do you think I'm s**..., huh? You can bathe yourself in a women's perfume all you want, I can still guess you went to a bar, you drunk!".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The elevator ride
A woman is on an elevator heading to the 9th floor. 3 other well dressed and wealthy women get in at the 5th floor and begin obnoxiously talking about how much they each spent on their perfume after one gives the other a compliment. The first one spouts off Chanel, $100 per bottle. The second one replies Gucci, $125 per bottle. The 3rd says Well I have you both beat! Jean Patou, $1800 per bottle! Annoyed, the first woman on the elevator goes to get off and let's out a very loud and rancid f**... and says Broccoli, 59 cents a pound!
How to make money off Valentine's Day
A guy walks into a bar, sits at a table and orders a beer. He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine's day cards, write inside them and stamp them with "Love" stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope. The bartender finally can't contain his curiosity and approaches the man. "You must have 500 or more cards there," the bartender says. "I've got to admit I'm curious what you're doing." "Oh, every year at Valentine's Day I send out 500 cards, each one signed 'Guess Who?'" the guy says. "But why?" the bartender asks. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the guy replies.
I heard researchers developed a mind control perfume....
It makes a lot of scents when you think about it
A blond and a burunette are at the perfume counter
The brunette picks up a bottle and sprays the air. The blond says "ooooh, thats lovely - whats that?"
Brunette: Viens Ici
Blond:
Brunette: Vien Ici - it's French. It means "Come to me"
Blond (sniffs the air): "ohhh - it smells nice but it does not smeall like come to me
