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Performer Jokes

58 performer jokes and hilarious performer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about performer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Performer Short Jokes

Short performer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The performer humour may include short musician jokes also.

  1. I think the most patriotic part of the entire super bowl was Rihanna's halftime performance Because there's nothing more American than for a woman to work while she's pregnant.
  2. Why do standup comedians perform poorly in Hawaii? Because the audience only responds in a low ha
  3. My doctor said if I get 1000 upvotes he will perform free LASIK surgery!! Upvote for visibility.
  4. Just got back from a job interview, where I was asked if can perform under pressure. I said I wasn't too sure about that but I do a wicked Bohemian Rhapsody.
  5. I failed my chemistry lab exam. I was in the middle of performing a chemical reaction but I got sued by the Fine Bros.
  6. I used to own a racing snail... It never won though. To improve its performance I removed its shell but, if anything, it made it more sluggish
  7. What did the light house keeper do when he lost his job? He became a maid, he was already accustomed to performing light house work.
  8. Was once asked on a job interview if I could perform under pressure. Me: Well I don't know about that, but I'll give Bohemian Rhapsody a try.
  9. Did you here about the woman who got attacked by a gang of mimes? They performed unspeakable acts on her.
  10. Longest Drum Solo The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 25 minutes and it was performed by a child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

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Performer One Liners

Which performer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with performer? I can suggest the ones about practitioner and dancer.

  1. I once paid $20.00 to see Prince perform But I partied like it was $19.99
  2. Anyone see 50 cent perform at the Super Bowl? Inflation is real
  3. Why Did The Alcoholic Comedian Quit Performing? He couldn't handle the boos.
  4. String Fight My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violin.
  5. As usual for Germany ... they perform better in '14 than in '18.
  6. How much do people who perform circumcisions get paid? $50/h plus tips
  7. I used to perform circumcisions for a living. I got tons of tips.
  8. I once was kidnapped by mimes. They performed unspeakable acts
  9. Why does the cell always fail at Math? It performs division for multiplication.
  10. What do you call a fish that performs brain surgeries? A neurosturgeon
  11. So a magician on a cruise night has a show every night... NOTSONINJA
  12. I quit being a stand up comedian... Every time I performed people would just laugh at me
  13. A performer fell through the floor It was just a stage he was going through
  14. I'd never let my kids watch an orchestral performance. Too much sax and violins.
  15. Why was Aladdin disqualified from the Rio Olympics? He was on performance-enhancing rug.

Circus Performer Jokes

Here is a list of funny circus performer jokes and even better circus performer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire? How will I ever find another performer of your caliber?
  • What do performing bears at the circus get for lunch? 30 minutes.
  • What do you do if you're Fighting a group of circus performers? Go for the juggler
  • What's the difference between circus preformers and a brothel? What's the difference between professional circus performers and an upperclass brothel?
    One is full of cunning stunts.
  • The difference between watching a three ring circus, and going to New York to watch a performance by the Rockettes. Well, when you watch a three ring circus, you witness a cunning array of stunts...
  • Did you hear about the circus performance gone wrong? The lion tamer was mauled, it was in tents.
  • What do you get when you cross a well endowed lady and a circus performer? A Juggler.
  • I once had my very own flee circus It was pretty cool until all the performers left in the middle of the show :(
  • Why did people laugh when the circus performer tripped on the sidewalk? because it was funny
  • What do you call a nightclub that caters specifically to lesbian circus performers? A clown-d**... bar.
Performer joke, What do you call a nightclub that caters specifically to lesbian circus performers?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about performer can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of performer puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Fun-Filled Performer Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle

What funny jokes about performer you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean singer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make performer prank.

An English man, German, French and Italian are standing at the side of a street watching a street performer

The street performer noticed that they all have poor eye sight so he asked them whether they can see him and they responded:
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sì"
"Ja"

A very religious man went on a safari

When he was there, he found a huge lion. The man didn't have a gun and there was no way he could outrun the lion. So, he did the only thing he could do. He got on his knees and prayed "Dear God, I was always a good Christian. Will you perform a miracle and give this lion some christian feelings".
That moment, the clouds parted and a beam of light came from above and touched the lion's heart. The lion raised his paws to the heavens and loudly prayed "Thank you Lord for this meal I'm about to receive."
PS: it was a beam of light.
PPS: 12 700 upvotes and 17 awards. Thank you so much. I haven't been this happy since Xmas.

What's a Pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear Customer,
Due to recent i**... activities that have been performed through your connection, your internet service has been permanently disconnected.
-Sincerely, your ISP.

A circus performer is driving home after a long day of training, when he is pulled over by a police officer for a broken light.

The officer looks in the car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.
Sir, he says, Why do you have all those knives?
They're for my juggling act, the circus performer replies.
I don't believe you, says the cop. Prove it. So the performer gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives flawlessly.
Just at that moment, a car with two guys in it drives by. "Wow, says one to the other. I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are watching a street performer.

The performer suddenly realizes that these men have a poor view so he gets on a small platform. "Can you all see me now?" He asks them.
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sí"
"Ja"

A desert island with six women

A bloke found himself stranded on a desert island with six women. To keep it fair, it was decided he would service a different woman every night and have Mondays free. After a few months the man was exhausted, realising how tiring it was to perform constantly every night except one. Then one day, to his joy, he found a man washed up on the beach who would be able to take some of the workload from him. However, his hopes were shattered when the man's first words were, "Hi, gorgeous, how about the kiss of life?"
'Oh f\*c**...,' thinks the man, 'there goes Mondays.'

After s**... a woman tells a man that she didn't like his performance, that his o**... was to small.

He looks at her and says "I didn't know I would be playing in a cathedral".

A man comes home from work...

A man comes home from work and he finds his wife furious at him.
She screams "Why did you sleep with my sister while you were at work!?"
He replies "Well she was lying on the table, n**..., and you know she's an attractive woman, so what did you expect me to do?"
"Perform the autopsy."

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German stop to watch a street performer.

The performer sees them arrive and since they're at the back of the crowd asks them if they can see properly.
Yes.
Oui.
Si.
Ja.

Larry is having his performance evaluation and his boss is showing his disappointment.

He said, Larry, you used to be a great worker, but for the past few months I never seem to see you working when I come by your office. What happened?
Larry looks at the boss and said, Well, in August they carpeted the hallway…

A magician gets himself a parrot for his act

After a couple weeks of performing with the magician the parrot begins to heckle the magician during his shows. "it's under his hat, it's up his sleeve, his assistant has it."
The magician is performing on a cruise ship when the ship sinks. The magician wakes up on a piece of driftwood with the parrot standing on the opposite end. The parrot and the magician spend 2 days floating at sea without saying a word.
Finally the parrot says, "Alright, I give up. Where's the boat?"

When I was a child, I was r**... by a group of mimes.

They performed unspeakable acts on me.

TIL lions perform o**... s**... on each other.

Talk about swallowing your pride.

I got r**... by a troupe of mimes last night

They performed unspeakable acts.

An englishman, a Frenchman, a spaniard, and a German

Are all watching a really great street performer who was juggling.
The juggler realized that from where they were standing they couldn't see him very well. So the juggler stood on top of a wooden box. He asks if they can see him now.
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Si"
"Ja"

Two magicians walk into a bakery

The first palms 3 donuts. He then snidely challenges the other magician to perform a trick of equal benefit. The second magician then calls the baker and asks for 3 donuts if he'd like to see a magic trick. The baker does his part and provides the donuts. The magician then eats the donuts and exclaims "Ta-Dah." The bakery is angered and asks "Well what's the magic trick?" The second magician replies "Look in my friend's pocket."

A man's car gets haunted by a ghost

So he decided to go to a priest to get it removed.
The priest performs the exorcism, and it works! He successfully removes the ghost from the car. He says to the man "That'll be $250." The man refuses to pay, and so a couple weeks later his car gets repossessed.

Street Performance

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"
"Yes."
"Oui."
"Sí."
"Ja."

A hispanic magician was performing a magic trick

The magician said that he could make himself disappear within 3 seconds! So, he waves his cape in front of his face and says "uno, dos!" and just like that, he disappeared without a tres!

A man moves into a haunted house

After several nights of ghosts keeping him awake with their moaning and moving furniture around the house he calls an exorcist. A priest eventually comes round, performs some incantations, and sprinkles holy water around. The man was grateful for the priest's help with this haunting but says that he has no money on hand to pay him. The priest says "Fret not my son, we can send you a bill. Just pay it off within the month or we'll repossess your house."

A friend told me he doesn't let his kids watch orchestra performances cuz there's too much sax and violins.

I told him puns make me wanna commit violins.

Performer joke, A friend told me he doesn't let his kids watch orchestra performances cuz there's too much sax and v

jokes about performer

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these performer jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.