Performer Jokes

What are some Performer jokes?

An English man, German, French and Italian are standing at the side of a street watching a street performer

The street performer noticed that they all have poor eye sight so he asked them whether they can see him and they responded:
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sì"
"Ja"

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are watching a street performer.

The performer suddenly realizes that these men have a poor view so he gets on a small platform. "Can you all see me now?" He asks them.
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sí"
"Ja"

An englishman, a Frenchman, a spaniard, and a German

Are all watching a really great street performer who was juggling.

The juggler realized that from where they were standing they couldn't see him very well. So the juggler stood on top of a wooden box. He asks if they can see him now.

"Yes"
"Oui"
"Si"
"Ja"

Street Performance

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"
"Yes."
"Oui."
"Sí."
"Ja."

an Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German

were watching an excellent street performer juggling. The street performing noticed the four gentlemens were having trouble seeing him, so he stood up on a crate and asked "can you see me now?".


The four men answered back "Yes" "Oui" "Si" "Ja"

The Entertainment

A charitable man decided to visit a sick ward at a hospital to cheer up the patients. He took along a keyboard and played humorous songs and told jokes at many a bedside. After finishing his final performance for an old man he said, "I hope you get better." The old man smiled vaguely at the performer and replied, "I hope you do too."

A Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer juggle.

The juggler notices the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands on a large wooden box and calls out can you see me now?

Yes

Oui

Si

Ja

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German were in the side of a street...

On the street was a performer who was juggling. The juggler noticed the four men had poor eyesight so the juggler stood on a wooden box and exclaimed "Can you see me now?!" The three men responded

"Yes"
"Oui"
"Si"
"Ja"

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all standing...

They're watching a street performer do some juggling. The juggler then sees that the 4 men have a bad view so he stands up on a big wooden box and says "can you see me now?" The 4 men respond:
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Si"
"Ja"

A circus performer is pulled over for speeding.

As the officer is writing the ticket, he notices several machetes in the back seat of the car.

What are those for? he asks suspiciously.

I'm a juggler, the driver replies. I use those in my act.

Well, show me, the officer demands.

So the juggler gets out and starts juggling: one, two, three, four, and finally seven machetes at one time. He does overhand, underhand, and behind the back.

Another car passes by. The driver does a double take and says: My God, if that's the test they're giving now, I've got to give up drinking!

A performer is traveling to his next show at night...

When he is stopped by a police officer for a surprise car search. The officer finds that the man has an assortment of blades and sharp weapons. He questions the man about them.

Officer: can you explain the weapons in your car?

Man: weapons? I think you mean my props. I'm a juggler you see.

Officer: oh well is that so? Prove it.

The man proceeds to juggle two blades, then three, then four. Just then, a car drives past. The man in the car turns to his wife and says:

Thank God I gave up drinking! Just look at how they're testing people now!

I went to see a stage performer that does live sacrifices of celebrities during his act

I gave him 5 stars.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are watching a street artist perform.

The act is spectacular, but the four gentlemen are having a tough time getting a good view.

The performer, by some coincidence, notices this and stands up on a large wooden box to give them a better view. He then calls out to them "Can all of you see me now?"

They each reply:

"Yes"

"Oui"

"Si"

"Ja."

English, French, Spanish, German

Four guys, one English, one French, one Spanish and one German are walking down the road.
They come to a square where a large crowd has gathered. They realise that a street performer is currently performing there, but they cannot see him because of the crowd.
So the English guy shouts, "We can't see you!"
Since everyone is quiet and watching his performance, the performer hears this. He pushes over a nearby table, stands on it and asks, "How about now?"
And the four guys reply,
"Yes." "We." "See". "Ya."

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer juggling. The juggler notices the four men have a very poor view, so he stands upon a large wooden box and calls out to them, "Can you see me now?"
"Yes."
"Oui."
"Sí."
"Ja."

(If you don't get it, read it out loud)

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all standing in a group watching a street performer juggle.

The performer notices that the four gentleman have a very bad view of the show and gets up on a wooden box, and shouts into the crowd can you guys see me better now? He asks.

Yes
Oui
Si
Ja

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

An Englishman, a Spaniard, a Frenchman, and a German...

An Englishman, a Spaniard, a Frenchman, and a German are watching a street performer do some amazing juggling, but they don't have a good view. The street performer then moves and asks them:
"Can you guys see me now?"

"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sí"
"Ja"

Hint: Say out loud with respective accents.

A British man, a French man, a Spanish man, and a German man are walking through the streets when they see a performer.

The performer asks if the can all see him.

They respond, "Yes" "Oui" "Si" "Ja"

A limbo performer walks into a bar

Poor girl got fired

What do you call a reliable male pornstar?

A solid performer.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are watching a concert in a crowded theatre...

The performer asks everyone if they can see him.

The four reply: "Yes, oui, si, ja"

I was attending a spoken word session. When the performer finished, it was dead silent.

Then I said, Oh snap .

I was in a comedy club where the performer referred to asians with the n-word in one of his jokes.

I thought that was a bit off-color.

I saw a street performer playing Dancing Queen on a Didgeridoo yesterday...

And I thought, that's ABBAriginal.

(Credit to Tim Vine)

All work and no play makes Jack

an unsuccessful stage performer.

What do you call a street performer that gives lap dances?

An organ grinder.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street perfomer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen all share a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out: "Can you all see me now?"

"Yes," replied the Englishman.

"Oui," replied the Frenchman.

"Si," replied the Spaniard.

"Ja," replied the German.


"Very good," said the street performer.

What do you get when you cross a well endowed lady and a circus performer?

A Juggler.

"Always leave them wanting more" is great advice for a performer.

Restaurant owners, on the other hand…

How was your night?

John and Roy, two good friends, decide to go out to a bar on a Friday night and have a little fun. After a while, the two get bored and they each go their own way.

John, a bit tipsy (and a performer at heart), decides to try out in the bar's karaoke competition. To his surprise, he takes first place and wins a huge trophy!

Roy, the ladies man of the two, tries to find the most beautiful girl in the bar, and low and behold, Roy gets to talking with an absolute knockout, 10 out of 10. Things start to get serious, and eventually they head back to Roy's apartment.

The next day, the two meet back up at the same bar.

"How was your night, John?" Roy asked.

"Fantastic!" Said John. "Veni, vidi, vici, as the saying goes. I came. I saw. I conquered. What about you?"

Roy thought for a minute, and then smiled.

"What can I say? Vidi, vici, veni."

How to make Performer jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Performer to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Performer? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Performer pick up lines to share with friends.

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