Perfect Match Jokes
14 perfect match jokes and hilarious perfect match puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about perfect match that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Perfect Match Short Jokes
Short perfect match jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The perfect match humour may include short perfect jokes also.
- ChatGPT walks into a bar, orders a byte, a nibble, and a bit. The bartender serves them and says, "You must be single and still looking for your perfect match."
- I hope all girls get cancer As their Zodiac Sign because that would make the perfect match for me
- I wish every woman in the world had cancer. As their astrological sign, of course. It'd mean they're my perfect zodiac match.
- Did you hear about the pyromaniac who was on the dating website? He was looking for the perfect match.
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Perfect Match One Liners
Which perfect match one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with perfect match? I can suggest the ones about tinder match and perfect score.
- Stop looking for the perfect match… use a lighter.
- What did the pyromaniac say to the love of his life? You're a perfect match
Perfect Match Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about perfect match you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean perfect man jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make perfect match pranks.
Al Gore is in the wrong line of work
Some people's names match their careers surprisingly well. Imagine a psychic named Krystal Ball or a stylist named Barbera Cutter.
But Al Gore is a failure in this regard. He had the perfect opportunity to start a math rock band in the 80s or 90s and just chose to not. It should have been fate.
I personally will never let it go that I'll never hear an album from the math rock legends the Al Gore Rhythms.
You want some some dating advice? Here you go.
A man wanted to find a woman and asked the computer to find him the perfect match: "I want someone who is small and cute, loves the water sports and enjoys group activities."
Back came the answer: "Marry a penguin."
John gets a Christmas parrot
John decided to get his wife a Christmas present. Maybe a puppy. Walking in to the pet store, he searches for the right puppy.
"Excuse me sir, are you looking for a Christmas present?" the clerk asked. "Yes, I think she would like a puppy," John replies.
"Here," motioning towards the back of the store, "we have a very special bird, Chet. He sings Christmas carols. See, light a match and hold it under his left foot." The parrot begins to sing, "Silent night, holy night." Pulling the match away, "And now his right foot." The parrot sings, "Dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sleigh." "Perfect," John exclaims.
Molly was home as she hears John knocking on the door. Letting him in, John proudly smiles, "His name is Chet. I got you a singing parrot!" Raising a eyebrow, Molly stares at him. Placing the parrot on his stand, John lights a match. "Listen to him sing when I hold the match under his left foot." The parrot begins to sing again, "Silent night, holy night." Pulling the match away, "And now his right foot." The parrot sings, "Dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sleigh."
"Well, what do you think?" Jon smiles. Molly stood quietly, "What would happened if you hold the match, well, between his feet?"
Holding the match between his feet, the parrot squawks, "CHET'S NUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE!"
My dad's day at work...
My dad is a police officer out here in New Jersey (US), and the irony is perfect.
My dad drives up to a nearby school and spots three teenagers smoking cigarettes out back. Somebody recently called from the area about a kid who was stealing outside equipment from the neighborhood and one of the teenagers matched the description. My dad drives up to them and calls the one matched over to his car. He asks him what they've been doing and the normal of an officer. My dad then asks, "What's your name sir?" and the teenager failed to answer. My father asks again with still no answer. At this point, his friends stood up and are walking towards the car to figure out why my father was speaking up. They hear my dad ask again, "What is your name sir?" and one of the kids exclaims, "Calvin don't tell him".
Christmas in July
A guy wants to get a really unique gift for his new wife for their fist Christmas together so he walks into a pet store with a sign advetising an amazing singing parrot. He goes to the counter to explain his situation and inquires about the bird. The shop keeper explains the bird would be perfect and takes the man over to show him what the bird can do.
The shop keeper explains that the bird's name is Chet and that he works on cues then produces a book of matches from his pocket. Lighting one he holds it below the parrots right foot and immediately Chet begins to sing "Silent Night" so beuatiful it rivals Perry Como. The keeper then moves the match to the left foot and Chet begans singing "White Christmas" even more beautifully than the first song.
The man exclaims "Thats amazing, does he know any other songs?"
Oh yes, replies the shop keeper as he moves the match to between the birds legs..."Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire"
In the year 2500 Russia and the U.S. are the last countries on the earth....
In the year 2500 Russia and the U.S. are the last countries on the earth. They both want control of the earth, so they come up with this plan. They will have a dog fight in five years; what ever country wins this dog fight gets control of the earth. So the Russians ,having control of Europe, take the biggest, meanest Siberian wolfs and German shepards and breed them over and over until they get the perfect batch of pups. Then they train them make them mean and then breed them using new enhancement technologies. This goes on and on until the event comes then they pick they're biggest, meanest, and strongest pup at prime age. They go to the event and U.S. shows up with this 30ft long Doxen Terrier. The match begins and this Doxen just rips the Russians dog into pieces. The Russians are dumbfounded they can't figure out how this happened. So they go ask the head U.S. dog official "How did you beat us? We spent 5 years training the biggest meanest dogs we could find and our most advanced using enhancement technologies. Then we come here and your dog rips ours apart in no more than 30 seconds. The U.S. official laughs and says "Thats funny we spent 2 and a half years using our best plastic surgeons trying to get a crocodile to look like a dog!"