Perfect Attendance Jokes
6 perfect attendance jokes and hilarious perfect attendance puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about perfect attendance that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Perfect Attendance Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good perfect attendance joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Flight attendant landed this one on us yesterday
We just landed on the runway and the flight attendant annouces a message over the speaker.
"Hey folks...um yea sorry about that rough landing...
...wasn't the captains fault,
...definitely wasn't my fault,
...it was the asphalt."
The result: a perfect mix of laughs and groans.
Teacher: I'm having trouble with one of my students.
Principal: What's the problem?
Teacher: Not only is he the worst behaved child in class, he has a perfect attendance record
I was supposed to go to prison for a long time, but thankfully i got was released early
Thanks to thirty years perfect attendance.
Tom is attending his best friend's wedding
So, he started preparing for the wedding.
He bought the perfect gifts, the perfect shoes and all, went to the best barber, got everything right except for his suit.
He went to many stores, yet he couldn't find what he was looking for.
2 days before the wedding, Tom travels to Europe, goes to France, Italy, Germany, you name it, but he can't find the perfect suit.
2 more hours to the wedding, Tom is going around at his hometown, but no luck.
He finally goes home, looking disappointed and broken.
His mother felt sorry for him, but his dad wasn't.
Mother: why don't you help your son find what he's looking for?
Father: nah, don't worry about Tommy, he'll figure.
Gynecologist that wants to be a mechanic.
My girlfriend's grandfather told me this beauty last night.
Bob no longer wants to be a Gynecologist and decides that a mechanic job would best suit him.
He attends a class on the basic of car repairs. After finishing the course Bob receives a grade of 150/100. Bob, confused, goes and takes to the instructor.
Bob: "Could you please break down the grade I received? I'm a little confused how I got 150%."
Instructor: "Well you get 50% for doing the undercarriage perfect! You get another 50% for doing the engine work perfect!"
Bob: "And what about the other 50%? Where did that come from?"
Instructor: "I gave you the extra points for being able to fix the carburetor through the muffler!"
Career Change
A gynaecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and
paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skill-ful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.
He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes,
attended diligently, and learned all he could.
When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynaecologist
prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.
When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had
obtained a score of 150%.
Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade?"
"The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart
perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You then put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."
After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the exhaust, which I've never seen done in my entire career".
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