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Percentage Jokes

37 percentage jokes and hilarious percentage puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about percentage that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article explores the various "percentage jokes" found throughout popular culture, including jokes about math, body fat percentages, Nazis, rates, and fractions. Whether it's a punchline to a funny anecdote or a silly pun, the humorous take on concepts like percentage can lead to lots of laughter. Read on to find out more!

Funniest Percentage Short Jokes

Short percentage jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The percentage humour may include short portion jokes also.

  1. What percentage of women drivers wear seatbelts? I don't know either, but it looks like this:
    %
  2. How many project managers does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question. They can't actually do it. But they can record what percentage is complete.
  3. The Kardashians go for a swim in the pacific ocean The percentage of plastic in the ocean increases by 400%.
  4. Statistics say that 2 out of 10 people don't understand how percentages work. Unlike us, the other 90%.
  5. I've started a new religion based on the consumption of high-percentage alcohol. Its only downside is that I now miss a lot of work due to hangovers It's called absinthe-theism.
  6. I was trying to find out what percentage of people celebrate Channukah It turns out its a small Menorah-ty.
  7. Why do australian prisons have the highest percentage of homosexuals ? They're all inmates.
  8. A percentage of my inner conscience doesn't like racist jokes. Luckily that percentage is the minority so I can just ignore it.
  9. What percentage of the characters in hamlet were prostitutes? I don't know, but maybe you can ask Horatio.
  10. TIL Clickbaits are so popular because the percentage of people clicking on a clickbait link is........ 100%, apparently.

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Percentage One Liners

Which percentage one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with percentage? I can suggest the ones about probability and ratio.

  1. I like to give a percentage of my earnings to Charity.... ......and other strippers.
  2. Which type of cat has the highest percentage of infidelity? Cheetahs!
  3. TIL: 80% of people will believe a fact if it has a percentage in it Or so I've been told
  4. 1 out of 10 people don't understand percentages. I'm part of that 15%.
  5. Statistics... 97% of comedians have a percentage based joke about statistics
  6. Fun fact: 117% of people don't get how percentages work.
  7. Only 92% of people can do percentages... The other 16% can't
  8. Does Robbie Williams like decimals and percentages? No, he's loving angles instead.
  9. What percentage of families don't have a nickel to their name? Four poorcent.
  10. I know... I know where the percentage symbol goes %50 of the time.
  11. A good percentage of my friends are n**... That percentage is zero.
  12. Which state has the highest percentage of self-identifiying w**...? Idaho
  13. A good percentage of my friends are ALSO n**...'s. 100%. I don't have friends.
  14. What percentage of Scottish people are t**...? 55.3%

Percentage joke, What percentage of Scottish people are t**...?

Entertaining Percentage Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about percentage you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean amount jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make percentage pranks.

A good percentage of my friends are n**......

0% of my friends are n**..., and thats a good percentage.

An observation by Adam Hills

"I have a slight theory as to why there's such a high percentage of obesity in America as compared to the rest of the world. I think it's because in 1984, a group of English and Irish musicians got together and put out a song that told us to 'feed the world'.
And then a year later, a group of American singers told us, 'We Are the World'"

School days...

Teacher: If income tax is 20% and your dad earns $50,000, how much tax does he pay?
Kid: $100
Teacher: Let's try again. If income tax is 30% and your dad earns $100000, how much does he pay?
Kid: $100
Teacher: Alright, last try. If income tax is %50 and your dad earns $1000000, how much does he pay?
Kid: $100
Teacher: you don't know your percentages.
Kid: you don't know my dad.

What percentage of germans are not n**...?

ninety-nine point nein nein nein nein nein nein nein percent

The Polish are so s**......

...their adult literacy rate is 98.74%, far below the European average of 99.13% and only 19.74 percentage points ahead of America.

This food has been proven to drastically reduce or even eliminate s**... drive in a significant percentage of women.

It's wedding cake.

Trump has spent about twenty percentage of his days in office playing golf.

(Me, an Asian)
If I spent that much time playing golf, my GPA would go down to a...—————
*takes out calculator*————
*quick math*————
*puts it back*———
98.1. My GPA would go down to a 98.1.
Yeah, schools aren't that good.

Percentage joke, Which state has the highest percentage of self-identifiying w**...?