Pepsi Jokes
115 pepsi jokes and hilarious pepsi puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pepsi that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the ultimate collection of Pepsi jokes, comparing Pepsi to other classic colas like Coke and Snapple and discussing the implications of diet Pepsi and aspartame. Whether you're a fan of Pepsi or have a preference for classic colas, you're sure to find something to laugh at.
Funniest Pepsi Short Jokes
Short pepsi jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pepsi humour may include short beverage jokes also.
- First day on the job as a drugdealer *giggles*
"We don't have coke, is Pepsi ok?
*gets stabbed* - The ceo of Pepsi was fired this morning. They found trace amounts of Coke in *her system.
*I have to be factually correct. - I shoplifted 23 cans of Pepsi from the store and got arrested, but the judge dropped the charge He knew i stole 23 cans of Pepsi, but he said that doesn't make a case.
- My first and last day as a drug dealer. Car pulls up. Guy rolls the window down. "You got any coke?" Me: "Is Pepsi OK?" Dude shot me in the leg.
- For years I've stuck with coke but recently tried switching to pepsi. But the bubbles really burn my nose.
- Did you hear about the Pepsi employee that got fired? Turns out they found coke in his system and fired him on the spot.
- A latino goes to a vending machine He gets a soda for 75c. He puts in 65c. The machine says "dime", so he whispers quiero una pepsi porfavor
- A guy walks into a bar.. ..and orders a Jack Daniels with coke. The bartender asks if Pepsi is okay. "Whatever, sure" says the guy. So, the bartender mixes a Pepsi with coke for him.
- Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad? Because it's soda pressing.
- I got beaten up after I told a customer we don't have coke, is Pepsi okay? My first and last day as a drug dealer.
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Pepsi One Liners
Which pepsi one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pepsi? I can suggest the ones about anteater and soda.
- Nobody ever asks how Coca-Cola is doing... It's always, "Is Pepsi okay?"
- Why was the Pepsi employee fired? He tested positive for coke.
- I saw a Pepsi getting run over today It was soda- pressing
- It's ironic whitney houston did all those Pepsi endorsements Then over dosed on Coke
- What do you call cheerleaders in the ocean? Pepsi
- The gym got a new machine recently, it does everything! Snickers, twix, Mccoys, pepsi....
- Why was the crushed Pepsi sad? Because, he was soda pressed.
- What do you call a soccer team everyone hates? Pepsi United
- I feel like a plastic bottle in a Pepsi factory I'm soda pressed.
- What's the most important question for a philosophy graduate? Whether Pepsi is ok.
- Wonder what makes pepsi taste like it does? They just water down some coke.
- What do you call a bubbly cheerleader? Pepsi.
- Pepsi had a new idea about how to package their cola But then they canned it.
- Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights? Because he was soda-pressing
- Why did the punk rocker not finish his pepsi? He thought it was an icky pop.
Pepsi Coke Jokes
Here is a list of funny pepsi coke jokes and even better pepsi coke puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A blonde joins a Mexican cartel The cartel sends her to colombia to get coke and she brings Pepsi.
- What's the difference between The Soviet Union and Russia? The Soviet union had Pepsi and Coke.
- I ordered a Jack and Coke and the bartender asked Is Pepsi okay? I said yeah, and he gave me a Coke and Pepsi.
- What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Richard Pyror? One was burnt by Pepsi and one was burnt by coke.
- Soda joke Why was the CEO of Pepsi fired?
They caught him with an ounce of coke in his system. - Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
- Your wife and boss are drowning and you have an important decision to make: Coke or pepsi?
- I tried selling drugs once. I tried selling drugs once. The guy asked me for some coke and I paniced and asked him if Pepsi was ok.
- "We don't have Coke, is Pepsi okay?" *gets shot* First day as a drug dealer didn't go well...
- I was fired from my last job because they searched my desk and found coke But who wants to work at Pepsi Co anyways
Pepsi Cola Jokes
Here is a list of funny pepsi cola jokes and even better pepsi cola puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- which cola brand sources its water from the oceans? PepSi
Quirky and Hilarious Pepsi Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about pepsi you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lemonade jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pepsi pranks.
Me: What's the wifi password?
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.
Me: Okay, I'll have a coke.
Bartender: Is Pepsi okay?
Me: Sure. How much is that?
Bartender: $3.
Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password?
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.
Ill have a pepsi please
Four CEO's meet up at a bar. Its the CEO of Budweiser, CEO of Heineken, CEO of Carlsberg and CEO of Guinness. The CEO from Budweiser orders a Bud and says "the best selling beer in america" and enjoys a sip. The CEO of Heineken orders him a Heineken, says "the best selling beer in Europe" and takes a sip. The CEO of Carlsberg takes a bottle of Carlsberg, takes a sip and say "probably the best beer in the world". The CEO of Guinness askes the bartender if he can have pepsi, all the other CEO's spits out their beer and start laughing at him and asks why he don't order a beer. The CEO of Guiness shrugs and said "if you girls ain't ordering beers, then neither am i"
Please read in Steven Wright's voice...
I was driving my friend around and he told me he was hungry. Asked if I'd take him to the drive-thru. I said yes. I pull up to the place and we wait in line for about five minutes. Finally it's our turn. The lady asks how she can help us today and I tell her I need two cheeseburgers, a large fry, and a small Pepsi. She apologizes and says she can't help me.
"Why not?"
"You're at a bank."
I hold my 440mL Pepsi can in the same way i hold my iPhone 5
With regret
What do you call a Mexican that doesn't like Coke
a Pepsi Can
Four CEOs meet up at a bar
Its the CEO of Budweiser, CEO of Heineken, CEO of Carlsberg and CEO of Guinness. The CEO from Budweiser orders a Bud and says "the best selling beer in america" and enjoys a sip. The CEO of Heineken orders him a Heineken, says "the best selling beer in Europe" and takes a sip. The CEO of Carlsberg takes a bottle of Carlsberg, takes a sip and say "probably the best beer in the world". The CEO of Guinness askes the bartender if he can have pepsi, all the other CEO's spits out their beer and start laughing at him and asks why he don't order a beer. The CEO of Guiness shrugs and said "if you girls ain't ordering beer, then neither am I."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A board boy sitting in restaurant and taking drinks.
Oneday, Jimmy was bored sitting in a restaurant in front of a Pepsi bottle.
Just later his friend Jekko came and drink the Pepsi.
He said, hello you so board, why?
Jimmy said, bad luck today. In the morning my girlfriend broke relationship with me unknown reason.
My car faces unknown problem, that's why I reached office late.
That's why my boss fired me from the job.
The whole I'm frustated and decided to s**... and mixed poison in the bottle of Pepsi.
It's so bad luck that you drink the whole Pepsi.
The day is really bad for me that I can't take the poison.
Pepsi just bought out Nike.
Nike's new slogan will be, "Just Dew It".
So I asked my dealer for some coke.
He said 'Is Pepsi okay?'
It was delicious nevertheless.
My brother threw a can of Pepsi at me from the roof...
I'm just glad it was a soft drink otherwise that may have caused some serious damage.
A drug addict is given Pepsi...
drug addict: "nah man, I do Coke"
I almost had to go the hospital today because a stranger threw a can of Pepsi at me...
I'm just glad it was a soft drink. Otherwise, I would have had to get surgery.
What's the difference between Taylor Swift and a stale Pepsi?
The stale Pepsi won't write a song about me after I dump it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Man: I'll take a r**... and coke
Bartender: Is pepsi ok?
Man: Yeah, that'll do.
Bartender: *hands him coke and pepsi*
Waiter: I'm sorry but we don't have coke, is pepsi ok?
Me: Is it ok if I pay with monopoly money?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**... are like Pepsi.
Never your first choice but you'll take it anyway.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked the bartender for a r**... and coke.
He said, "Is Pepsi okay?"
#TRIGGERED
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jim you get a little racist when you're thirsty
Have a Pepsi
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How we can solve the issue with Syria....
Fill those tomahawk missles with Pepsi and it's all going to be right as rain.
The entire United Airlines incident could've been avoided...
if someone had offered a Pepsi.
The doctor on the United Airlines flight could have avoided being beaten so easily.
All he had to do was give the air marshal a Pepsi.
The past few days summed up
Pepsi: We just pulled the worst PR stunt of the year.
United Airlines: Hold my beer.
Sean Spicer: LEEEEEEEEEEROY JEEENKINS.
PESPI: We made the biggest PR blunder of any major company this year.
UNITED: Hold my Pepsi.
The United CEO, the Pepsi head of marketing, and Sean Spicer walk into a bar.
The bar bursts into flames.
I Was gonna make an airline joke...
But it seems we're all united thanks to pepsi!
Flip throw a pepsi..
.. now the pepsi reads isded.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
d**... and vaginas are sorta like Coke and Pepsi
I strongly prefer one, but my dad thinks they taste the same.
Cr
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An undercover cop approaches a career s**...
and asked him, "Hey man, I'm looking to score some coke."
The s**... thinks about it for a moment and asks, "Is Pepsi okay?"
1 bottle of Pepsi on the wall, 1 bottle of Pepsi...
Take 1 down, pass it around, where the Pepsi at?
Did you hear about the woman who's husband was killed by a can of pepsi?
It was soda pressing
There's a lot of anger out there about the mlk speech/Dodge Ram Superbowl ad...
Kylie Jenner should hand out some Pepsi to calm things down.
I love my drug dealer, but
him joking that he only has Pepsi then threatening to kill me five minutes later is getting old
The secret to World Peace has been discovered!!
Everyone must drink Pepsi while having their phone carrier changed to T-Mobile and drive a Dodge Ram truck!
And make the world a better, cleaner place by using Tide!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A d**... worshipper, a public enemy, and an utter disgrace walks into a bar.
"I'll have a pepsi."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A dad becomes a drug dealer
He goes to a alley to drop off some c**.... The man asks "Do you have the coke?" the dad replies "Sorry we only have pepsi, were so sorry".
What happens when a Pepsi guy comes back to life?
Reincarbonation
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Drug dealer: We've got w**..., l**..., but we don't have any coke.
Is Pepsi okay?
Pepsi put Ray Charles on their cans.
Too bad he can't see it.
Just quit my job as a Pepsi salesman..
For me, the job had lost its fizz
A Hispanic man goes to a vending machine...
A Hispanic man goes to a vending machine and puts in 40 cents. The machine displays "DIME" on the screen. The man gets close to the machine and whispers, "Yo quiero Pepsi"
If you get pulled over and you have some Coke in your car, you're likely to get arrested.
However, if you get pulled over and you have some Pepsi in your car, you're likely to make a new friend.
Remember to always brush your seatbelts, buckle your teeth, and drink Pepsi.®️
When you pour Pepsi and it runs out halfway and your cup is half empty
Pepsi mist
Is Pepsi Ok?
Is monopoly money Ok???
Bad joke
X squared +10 and a needle beginning with a t and a really long period of time or a billion years in science is upside down Pepsi bottle
Cops be like...
I can shoot Pepsi cans, Soup cans, and African Ameri-Cans
Why can't bartenders become drug dealers?
Because they only serve Pepsi!
I got a job offer at Pepsi today!
I just hope they don't drug test me and find Coke in my system.
This used to be a Pepsi fan, but then there was the huge Gatorade scandal
I still can't believe they use crocodiles instead of real gators!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why Did the Super Bowl s**...?
Of course the Super Bowl is going to be dull; what do you expect when you bring Pepsi to a big party in Atlanta?
A dwarf walks into a bar, he's very, very thirsty.
The dwarf approaches the counter. It's very high up, so he can't see the other side.
He tries anyway and says: "Can I have a Coke please?"
(no answer)
He tries to jump as high as he can, saying "Can I have a Coke please?"
(no answer)
He jumps up and down, saying every time he gets to the top, "Can I have a Coke please?"
(still no answer)
He's fed up, so he goes around the counter, and on the other side...
...he sees another dwarf, jumping up and down saying, "Is Pepsi OK?"
PS: Google tells me that "dwarf" and "little person" are equally non-offensive. Feel free to educate me if it's the wrong term.
A Husband and Wife at Custody court
The judge looks sternly at the ex wife.
Judge: why do you think you deserve custody of the child?
Ex wife: I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him
Judge: that is a simple yet good reason.
Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband.
Judge: why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?
The ex husband thought long and hard about his response, after a brief moment of silence. He replies
Ex Husband: if I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out. Is it mine or the machines?
An Arabic man goes to visit his friend in Canada.
First they go out to lunch and the Arabic man orders a Bebsi and a bizza . His friend corrected him and said it was Pepsi and pizza.
The next day, they went to camp in the woods. The Arab goes to pee and comes running back.
What happened?! exclaimed his friend.
I saw a pear!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a h**... who uses Pepsi for lubrication?
A Pop-tart.
