Pepsi Jokes
118 pepsi jokes and hilarious pepsi puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pepsi that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the ultimate collection of Pepsi jokes, comparing Pepsi to other classic colas like Coke and Snapple and discussing the implications of diet Pepsi and aspartame. Whether you're a fan of Pepsi or have a preference for classic colas, you're sure to find something to laugh at.
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Funniest Pepsi Short Jokes
Short pepsi jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pepsi humour may include short cola jokes also.
- First day on the job as a drugdealer *giggles*
"We don't have coke, is Pepsi ok?
*gets stabbed* - The ceo of Pepsi was fired this morning. They found trace amounts of Coke in *her system.
*I have to be factually correct. - *First day as drug dealer* *Giggles* "coke isn't available, is Pepsi ok?"
*gets stabbed* - Did you hear about the Pepsi delivery drivers who were fired? They tested positive for coke.
- I shoplifted 23 cans of Pepsi from the store and got arrested, but the judge dropped the charge He knew i stole 23 cans of Pepsi, but he said that doesn't make a case.
- My first and last day as a drug dealer. Car pulls up. Guy rolls the window down. "You got any coke?" Me: "Is Pepsi OK?" Dude shot me in the leg.
- For years I've stuck with coke but recently tried switching to pepsi. But the bubbles really burn my nose.
- Did you hear about the Pepsi employee that got fired? Turns out they found coke in his system and fired him on the spot.
- A latino goes to a vending machine He gets a soda for 75c. He puts in 65c. The machine says "dime", so he whispers quiero una pepsi porfavor
- A guy walks into a bar.. ..and orders a Jack Daniels with coke. The bartender asks if Pepsi is okay. "Whatever, sure" says the guy. So, the bartender mixes a Pepsi with coke for him.
Share These Pepsi Jokes With Friends
Pepsi One Liners
Which pepsi one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pepsi? I can suggest the ones about beverage and anteater.
- Nobody ever asks how Coca-Cola is doing... It's always, "Is Pepsi okay?"
- Why was the Pepsi employee fired? He tested positive for coke.
- Why did the Pepsi executive get fired? He tested positive for Coke.
- I saw a Pepsi getting run over today It was soda- pressing
- I got fired from my job at Pepsi I tested positive for Coke
- The CEO of Pepsi was just fired He tested positive for Coke
- The CEO of Pepsi was fired today. They found traces of Coke in his system.
- It's ironic whitney houston did all those Pepsi endorsements Then over dosed on Coke
- What do you call cheerleaders in the ocean? Pepsi
- I just got hit in the head with a can of Pepsi Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
- The gym got a new machine recently, it does everything! Snickers, twix, Mccoys, pepsi....
- Why was the crushed Pepsi sad? Because, he was soda pressed.
- The vice president of Pepsi got fired... he came up positive for coke.
- Why did the Pepsi employee get fired They did to much coke
- What do you call a soccer team everyone hates? Pepsi United
Pepsi Coke Jokes
Here is a list of funny pepsi coke jokes and even better pepsi coke puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I got beaten up after I told a customer we don't have coke, is Pepsi okay? My first and last day as a drug dealer.
- A blonde joins a Mexican cartel The cartel sends her to colombia to get coke and she brings Pepsi.
- Guy walks into a bar Guy to the bartender: I'll take a Jack and Coke
Bartender: pepsi ok?
Guy: ...sure
Bartender: *starts mixing coke and pepsi* - What's the difference between The Soviet Union and Russia? The Soviet union had Pepsi and Coke.
- I ordered a Jack and Coke and the bartender asked Is Pepsi okay? I said yeah, and he gave me a Coke and Pepsi.
- A man walks into a bar and asks for a Jack & Coke The bartender asks, "Is Pepsi fine?" The man says yes. The bartender then pours Pepsi & Coke in a glass.
- My first day as a drug dealer Me: Sorry we've run out of coke, is Pepsi ok?
Client: *stab
Me: Ok, have a nice day - What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Richard Pyror? One was burnt by Pepsi and one was burnt by coke.
- Soda joke Why was the CEO of Pepsi fired?
They caught him with an ounce of coke in his system. - Every time someone says, "is Pepsi ok?", I feel bad for coke. No one asks how coke's doing.
Pepsi Cola Jokes
Here is a list of funny pepsi cola jokes and even better pepsi cola puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- People never ask how Coca Cola is feeling They only ask if Pepsi is okay
- Pepsi had a new idea about how to package their cola But then they canned it.
- Ordering a coke Do you have coca cola?
No but, Is pepsi okay?
Is monopoly money okay? - which cola brand sources its water from the oceans? PepSi
Quirky and Hilarious Pepsi Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about pepsi you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sprite jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pepsi pranks.
Me: What's the wifi password?
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.
Me: Okay, I'll have a coke.
Bartender: Is Pepsi okay?
Me: Sure. How much is that?
Bartender: $3.
Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password?
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.
Please read in Steven Wright's voice...
I was driving my friend around and he told me he was hungry. Asked if I'd take him to the drive-thru. I said yes. I pull up to the place and we wait in line for about five minutes. Finally it's our turn. The lady asks how she can help us today and I tell her I need two cheeseburgers, a large fry, and a small Pepsi. She apologizes and says she can't help me.
"Why not?"
"You're at a bank."
My brother threw a can of Pepsi at me from the roof...
I'm just glad it was a soft drink otherwise that may have caused some serious damage.
Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?
Because he was soda-pressing
A blonde woman walks into a library
A blonde woman walks into a library and talks to the lady at the front desk and says " I'll have a cheeseburger, a large fry, and a pepsi."
The lady replies "Ma'am, this is a library."
The blonde looks around, then whispers " I'll have a cheeseburger, a large fry, and a pepsi."
(Credit goes to my dad for this one. He had another one that I can't remember but once I do I'm coming back to post it)
A man walks into a bar..
and asks the bartender for a r**... and coke. The bartender says " Is Pepsi okay?" The man replies, "Yeah that's fine". The bartender takes out a glass and fills it with Pepsi and Coke.
Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?
Because it's soda pressing.
Did you hear about the guy who crushes Pepsi cans with a hydraulic press?
It's sodapressing.
I almost had to go the hospital today because a stranger threw a can of Pepsi at me...
I'm just glad it was a soft drink. Otherwise, I would have had to get surgery.
What's the difference between Taylor Swift and a stale Pepsi?
The stale Pepsi won't write a song about me after I dump it.
Man: I'll take a r**... and coke
Bartender: Is pepsi ok?
Man: Yeah, that'll do.
Bartender: *hands him coke and pepsi*
I tried selling drugs once.
I tried selling drugs once. The guy asked me for some coke and I paniced and asked him if Pepsi was ok.
So I asked the bartender for a r**... and coke. He said, "Is Pepsi okay?"
"Sure, whatever," I said.
So he handed me a glass of pepsi and coke.
h**... are like Pepsi.
Never your first choice but you'll take it anyway.
Jim you get a little racist when you're thirsty
Have a Pepsi
How we can solve the issue with Syria....
Fill those tomahawk missles with Pepsi and it's all going to be right as rain.
The power of Pepsi
So a couple of friends of mine, one black, one white were at a protest and wondered which carbonated drink makes the police the most peaceful. Turns out it really is Pepsi. You see, my white friend went up to the front of the protest and shouted to the cops "Anybody wanna buy some Pepsi?!" and the cops were all chill and happy, some even bought a can or two. But then my black friend went up to the front and shouted "Anybody wanna buy some coke?!"
I feel like a plastic bottle in a Pepsi factory
I'm soda pressed.
The entire United Airlines incident could've been avoided...
if someone had offered a Pepsi.
The doctor on the United Airlines flight could have avoided being beaten so easily.
All he had to do was give the air marshal a Pepsi.
The past few days summed up
Pepsi: We just pulled the worst PR stunt of the year.
United Airlines: Hold my beer.
Sean Spicer: LEEEEEEEEEEROY JEEENKINS.
The United CEO, the Pepsi head of marketing, and Sean Spicer walk into a bar.
The bar bursts into flames.
Pepsi: Well THAT was the PR nightmare of the century.
Fox News: Hold my beer.
United Airlines: Jinx, owe me a Coke?
Pepsi: For reals?
Sean Spicer: Make it a double.
What do you call a bubbly cheerleader?
Pepsi.
A latino goes to buy soda for 75 cents, he puts in 65
The machine reads "dime" so he gets closer and whispers "quiero Pepsi".
d**... and vaginas are sorta like Coke and Pepsi
I strongly prefer one, but my dad thinks they taste the same.
Cr
An undercover cop approaches a career s**...
and asked him, "Hey man, I'm looking to score some coke."
The s**... thinks about it for a moment and asks, "Is Pepsi okay?"
Did you hear about the woman who's husband was killed by a can of pepsi?
It was soda pressing
There's a lot of anger out there about the mlk speech/Dodge Ram Superbowl ad...
Kylie Jenner should hand out some Pepsi to calm things down.
I love my drug dealer, but
him joking that he only has Pepsi then threatening to kill me five minutes later is getting old
The secret to World Peace has been discovered!!
Everyone must drink Pepsi while having their phone carrier changed to T-Mobile and drive a Dodge Ram truck!
And make the world a better, cleaner place by using Tide!
What did the coke say to the Pepsi?
You're sodasgusting.
What happens when a Pepsi guy comes back to life?
Reincarbonation
Just quit my job as a Pepsi salesman..
For me, the job had lost its fizz
A Hispanic man goes to a vending machine...
A Hispanic man goes to a vending machine and puts in 40 cents. The machine displays "DIME" on the screen. The man gets close to the machine and whispers, "Yo quiero Pepsi"
If you get pulled over and you have some Coke in your car, you're likely to get arrested.
However, if you get pulled over and you have some Pepsi in your car, you're likely to make a new friend.
Remember to always brush your seatbelts, buckle your teeth, and drink Pepsi.®️
Wonder what makes pepsi taste like it does?
They just water down some coke.
An anteater walks into a bar
The anteater asks the bartender for a drink and the bartender asks "is Pepsi okay?" The anteater replies "noooooooooooo". So the bartender asks "is orange juice okay? And once again the anteater replies "noooooooooooo". One more time the bartender asks "how about water?" The anteater agrees that water is fine. So the anteater gets his drink and the bartender can't help but ask the anteater one final question.
"So, why the long no's?"
A man walks into a bar and orders a r**... and coke
The bartender asks "Is Pepsi ok?"
The customer replies: "Sure, that sounds fine"
So the bartender gives him a Pepsi and Coke
A man walks into a bar and orders a r**... and Coke...
The bartender says to the man "sorry, but is Pepsi okay?"
The man, having had a long day at work and needing a drink decided not to be picky
"Sure, why not" he said, then paid for his drink
The bartender fixed up the drink and handed it over
"Here you go," he said, "Pepsi and Coke"
Why did the punk rocker not finish his pepsi?
He thought it was an icky pop.
Why Did the Super Bowl s**...?
Of course the Super Bowl is going to be dull; what do you expect when you bring Pepsi to a big party in Atlanta?
A man walks into a bar and asks for a r**... and Coke
The bartender says "sorry to disappoint, but is Pepsi okay?"
It had been a long day, so the man said "yeah, that's fine"
The bartender turned to pour the drink, then handed it to the man.
"Here you go. Pepsi and Coke"
Man orders a drink from the bar
Man: "r**... & Coke please"
Bartender: "r**... and coke? Um, Is Pepsi OK?"
Man: "Yeah, Pepsi is fine."
Bartender: "Great, one Pepsi & Coke comin' right up."
Me: What's the WiFi password?
**Bartender:** You need to buy a drink first
**Me:** Okay, I'll have a coke.
**Bartender:** Is Pepsi okay?
**Me:** Sure, how much is that?
**Bartender:** $3.
**Me:** There you go. So what's the WiFi password?
**Bartender:** You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.
What's the most important question for a philosophy graduate?
Whether Pepsi is ok.
A dwarf walks into a bar, he's very, very thirsty.
The dwarf approaches the counter. It's very high up, so he can't see the other side.
He tries anyway and says: "Can I have a Coke please?"
(no answer)
He tries to jump as high as he can, saying "Can I have a Coke please?"
(no answer)
He jumps up and down, saying every time he gets to the top, "Can I have a Coke please?"
(still no answer)
He's fed up, so he goes around the counter, and on the other side...
...he sees another dwarf, jumping up and down saying, "Is Pepsi OK?"
PS: Google tells me that "dwarf" and "little person" are equally non-offensive. Feel free to educate me if it's the wrong term.
Why did the crushed Pepsi kill himself
He was soda pressed
A Husband and Wife at Custody court
The judge looks sternly at the ex wife.
Judge: why do you think you deserve custody of the child?
Ex wife: I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him
Judge: that is a simple yet good reason.
Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband.
Judge: why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?
The ex husband thought long and hard about his response, after a brief moment of silence. He replies
Ex Husband: if I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out. Is it mine or the machines?
An Arabic man goes to visit his friend in Canada.
First they go out to lunch and the Arabic man orders a Bebsi and a bizza . His friend corrected him and said it was Pepsi and pizza.
The next day, they went to camp in the woods. The Arab goes to pee and comes running back.
What happened?! exclaimed his friend.
I saw a pear!
What do you call a h**... who uses Pepsi for lubrication?
A Pop-tart.
