The Best 80 Pepsi Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Pepsi jokes. There are some pepsi rootbeer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these pepsi doritos puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Pepsi Jokes and Puns

Me: What's the wifi password?

Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.

Me: Okay, I'll have a coke.

Bartender: Is Pepsi okay?

Me: Sure. How much is that?

Bartender: $3.

Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password?

Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.

Nobody ever asks how Coca-Cola is doing...

It's always, "Is Pepsi okay?"

I got fired from my job at Pepsi

I tested positive for Coke

Soda joke

Why was the CEO of Pepsi fired?

They caught him with an ounce of coke in his system.

jokes about pepsi

Please read in Steven Wright's voice...

I was driving my friend around and he told me he was hungry. Asked if I'd take him to the drive-thru. I said yes. I pull up to the place and we wait in line for about five minutes. Finally it's our turn. The lady asks how she can help us today and I tell her I need two cheeseburgers, a large fry, and a small Pepsi. She apologizes and says she can't help me.

"Why not?"

"You're at a bank."


The vice president of Pepsi got fired...

he came up positive for coke.

The gym got a new machine recently, it does everything!

Snickers, twix, Mccoys, pepsi....

Pepsi joke, The gym got a new machine recently, it does everything!

A blonde joins a Mexican cartel

The cartel sends her to Colombia to get coke and she brings Pepsi.

My brother threw a can of Pepsi at me from the roof...

I'm just glad it was a soft drink otherwise that may have caused some serious damage.

Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?

Because he was soda-pressing

A blonde woman walks into a library

A blonde woman walks into a library and talks to the lady at the front desk and says " I'll have a cheeseburger, a large fry, and a pepsi."

The lady replies "Ma'am, this is a library."

The blonde looks around, then whispers " I'll have a cheeseburger, a large fry, and a pepsi."

(Credit goes to my dad for this one. He had another one that I can't remember but once I do I'm coming back to post it)

You can explore pepsi aspartame reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean pepsi fanta dad jokes. There are also pepsi puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


*First day as drug dealer*

*Giggles* "coke isn't available, is Pepsi ok?"
*gets stabbed*

A man walks into a bar..

and asks the bartender for a rum and coke. The bartender says " Is Pepsi okay?" The man replies, "Yeah that's fine". The bartender takes out a glass and fills it with Pepsi and Coke.

Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.

Why did the Pepsi executive get fired?

He tested positive for Coke.

A man walks into a bar and asks for a Jack & Coke

The bartender asks, "Is Pepsi fine?" The man says yes. The bartender then pours Pepsi & Coke in a glass.

Pepsi joke, A man walks into a bar and asks for a Jack & Coke

Did you hear about the guy who crushes Pepsi cans with a hydraulic press?

It's sodapressing.

I almost had to go the hospital today because a stranger threw a can of Pepsi at me...

I'm just glad it was a soft drink. Otherwise, I would have had to get surgery.

What's the difference between Taylor Swift and a stale Pepsi?

The stale Pepsi won't write a song about me after I dump it.


Man: I'll take a rum and coke

Bartender: Is pepsi ok?
Man: Yeah, that'll do.
Bartender: *hands him coke and pepsi*

Did you hear about the Pepsi delivery drivers who were fired?

They tested positive for coke.

So I asked the bartender for a rum and coke. He said, "Is Pepsi okay?"

"Sure, whatever," I said.

So he handed me a glass of pepsi and coke.

Handjobs are like Pepsi.

Never your first choice but you'll take it anyway.

Pepsi had a new idea about how to package their cola

But then they canned it.

Jim you get a little racist when you're thirsty

Have a Pepsi

How we can solve the issue with Syria....

Fill those tomahawk missles with Pepsi and it's all going to be right as rain.

Pepsi joke, How we can solve the issue with Syria....

The power of Pepsi

So a couple of friends of mine, one black, one white were at a protest and wondered which carbonated drink makes the police the most peaceful. Turns out it really is Pepsi. You see, my white friend went up to the front of the protest and shouted to the cops "Anybody wanna buy some Pepsi?!" and the cops were all chill and happy, some even bought a can or two. But then my black friend went up to the front and shouted "Anybody wanna buy some coke?!"

I feel like a plastic bottle in a Pepsi factory

I'm soda pressed.

The entire United Airlines incident could've been avoided...

if someone had offered a Pepsi.


What do you call a soccer team everyone hates?

Pepsi United

The past few days summed up

Pepsi: We just pulled the worst PR stunt of the year.
United Airlines: Hold my beer.
Sean Spicer: LEEEEEEEEEEROY JEEENKINS.

The United CEO, the Pepsi head of marketing, and Sean Spicer walk into a bar.

The bar bursts into flames.

Pepsi: Well THAT was the PR nightmare of the century.

Fox News: Hold my beer.

United Airlines: Jinx, owe me a Coke?

Pepsi: For reals?

Sean Spicer: Make it a double.

What do you call a bubbly cheerleader?

Pepsi.


Why was the Pepsi employee fired?

He tested positive for coke.

A latino goes to buy soda for 75 cents, he puts in 65

The machine reads "dime" so he gets closer and whispers "quiero Pepsi".

Dicks and vaginas are sorta like Coke and Pepsi

I strongly prefer one, but my dad thinks they taste the same.

Cr

I saw a Pepsi getting run over today

It was soda- pressing

A latino goes to a vending machine

He gets a soda for 75c. He puts in 65c. The machine says "dime", so he whispers quiero una pepsi porfavor

Did you hear about the Pepsi employee that got fired?

Turns out they found coke in his system and fired him on the spot.

The CEO of Pepsi was fired this morning.

They found trace amounts of Coke in *her system.

*I have to be factually correct.

I shoplifted 23 cans of Pepsi from the store and got arrested, but the judge dropped the charge

He knew i stole 23 cans of Pepsi, but he said that doesn't make a case.

Did you hear about the woman who's husband was killed by a can of pepsi?

It was soda pressing

There's a lot of anger out there about the MLK speech/Dodge Ram Superbowl ad...

Kylie Jenner should hand out some Pepsi to calm things down.

The secret to World Peace has been discovered!!

Everyone must drink Pepsi while having their phone carrier changed to T-Mobile and drive a Dodge Ram truck!

And make the world a better, cleaner place by using Tide!

What did the coke say to the Pepsi?

You're sodasgusting.

People never ask how Coca Cola is feeling

They only ask if Pepsi is okay

Just quit my job as a Pepsi salesman..

For me, the job had lost its fizz

A Hispanic man goes to a vending machine...

A Hispanic man goes to a vending machine and puts in 40 cents. The machine displays "DIME" on the screen. The man gets close to the machine and whispers, "Yo quiero Pepsi"

If you get pulled over and you have some Coke in your car, you're likely to get arrested.

However, if you get pulled over and you have some Pepsi in your car, you're likely to make a new friend.

Remember to always brush your seatbelts, buckle your teeth, and drink Pepsi.®️

My first day as a drug dealer

Me: Sorry we've run out of coke, is Pepsi ok?

Client: *stab

Me: Ok, have a nice day

Wonder what makes pepsi taste like it does?

They just water down some coke.

An anteater walks into a bar

The anteater asks the bartender for a drink and the bartender asks "is Pepsi okay?" The anteater replies "noooooooooooo". So the bartender asks "is orange juice okay? And once again the anteater replies "noooooooooooo". One more time the bartender asks "how about water?" The anteater agrees that water is fine. So the anteater gets his drink and the bartender can't help but ask the anteater one final question.
"So, why the long no's?"

First day on the job as a drugdealer

*giggles*
"We don't have coke, is Pepsi ok?
*gets stabbed*

I got beaten up after I told a customer we don't have coke, is Pepsi okay?

My first and last day as a drug dealer.

A man walks into a bar and orders a rum and coke

The bartender asks "Is Pepsi ok?"

The customer replies: "Sure, that sounds fine"

So the bartender gives him a Pepsi and Coke

A man walks into a bar and orders a rum and Coke...

The bartender says to the man "sorry, but is Pepsi okay?"

The man, having had a long day at work and needing a drink decided not to be picky

"Sure, why not" he said, then paid for his drink

The bartender fixed up the drink and handed it over

"Here you go," he said, "Pepsi and Coke"

Why did the punk rocker not finish his pepsi?

He thought it was an icky pop.

Every time someone says, "is Pepsi ok?", I feel bad

for coke. No one asks how coke's doing.

Why Did the Super Bowl Suck?

Of course the Super Bowl is going to be dull; what do you expect when you bring Pepsi to a big party in Atlanta?

A man walks into a bar and asks for a rum and Coke

The bartender says "sorry to disappoint, but is Pepsi okay?"

It had been a long day, so the man said "yeah, that's fine"

The bartender turned to pour the drink, then handed it to the man.

"Here you go. Pepsi and Coke"

Why was the crushed Pepsi sad?

Because, he was soda pressed.

It's ironic Whitney Houston did all those Pepsi endorsements

Then over dosed on Coke

Man orders a drink from the bar

Man: "Rum & Coke please"

Bartender: "Rum and coke? Um, Is Pepsi OK?"

Man: "Yeah, Pepsi is fine."

Bartender: "Great, one Pepsi & Coke comin' right up."

Me: What's the WiFi password?

**Bartender:** You need to buy a drink first

**Me:** Okay, I'll have a coke.

**Bartender:** Is Pepsi okay?

**Me:** Sure, how much is that?

**Bartender:** $3.

**Me:** There you go. So what's the WiFi password?

**Bartender:** You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.

What's the most important question for a philosophy graduate?

Whether Pepsi is ok.

A dwarf walks into a bar, he's very, very thirsty.

The dwarf approaches the counter. It's very high up, so he can't see the other side.

He tries anyway and says: "Can I have a Coke please?"

(no answer)

He tries to jump as high as he can, saying "Can I have a Coke please?"

(no answer)

He jumps up and down, saying every time he gets to the top, "Can I have a Coke please?"

(still no answer)

He's fed up, so he goes around the counter, and on the other side...

...he sees another dwarf, jumping up and down saying, "Is Pepsi OK?"



PS: Google tells me that "dwarf" and "little person" are equally non-offensive. Feel free to educate me if it's the wrong term.

I just got hit in the head with a can of Pepsi

Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

Why did the crushed Pepsi kill himself

He was soda pressed

The CEO of Pepsi was fired today.

They found traces of Coke in his system.

What do you call cheerleaders in the ocean?

Pepsi

A Husband and Wife at Custody court

The judge looks sternly at the ex wife.


Judge: why do you think you deserve custody of the child?


Ex wife: I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him


Judge: that is a simple yet good reason.


Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband.


Judge: why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?


The ex husband thought long and hard about his response, after a brief moment of silence. He replies


Ex Husband: if I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out. Is it mine or the machines?

Why did the Pepsi employee get fired

They did to much coke

An Arabic man goes to visit his friend in Canada.

First they go out to lunch and the Arabic man orders a Bebsi and a bizza . His friend corrected him and said it was Pepsi and pizza.
The next day, they went to camp in the woods. The Arab goes to pee and comes running back.
What happened?! exclaimed his friend.
I saw a pear!

Guy walks into a bar

Guy to the bartender: I'll take a Jack and Coke
Bartender: pepsi ok?
Guy: ...sure
Bartender: *starts mixing coke and pepsi*

The CEO of Pepsi was just fired

He tested positive for Coke

What do you call a hooker who uses Pepsi for lubrication?

A Pop-tart.

I ordered a Jack and Coke and the bartender asked Is Pepsi okay?

I said yeah, and he gave me a Coke and Pepsi.

What's the difference between The Soviet Union and Russia?

The Soviet union had Pepsi and Coke.

For years I've stuck with coke but recently tried switching to pepsi.

But the bubbles really burn my nose.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the pepsi beverage jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working pepsi powerade piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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