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Pepper Spray Jokes

107 pepper spray jokes and hilarious pepper spray puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pepper spray that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Pepper Spray Short Jokes

Short pepper spray jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pepper spray humour may include short pepper jokes also.

  1. What do you call a soldier that's survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran
  2. A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. What type of veteran is he? A seasoned veteran.
  3. I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . . . . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?
  4. Just been talking to an old guy, ex-soldier. He explained to me he had been exposed to mustard gas and pepper spray, it was nice chatting to a seasoned veteran.
  5. I once knew a soldier who suffered through both mustard gas and pepper spray. He was a seasoned veteran.
  6. I don't use pepper spray when I'm being robbed I just open my wallet and blow the dust into their eyes.
  7. A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, And then Pepper Spray by the police, He's now a seasoned veteran. First time on this sub reddit so don't have a lot of experience
  8. What do you call a soldier who has been mustard gassed and pepper sprayed? A seasoned veteran.. I'm so sorry
  9. When I go in to kiss a girl, I always close my eyes. Ive just learned from experience, if my eyes are open, more pepper spray gets in them.
  10. Did you hear about the man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? They say that he's a seasoned veteran.

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Pepper Spray One Liners

Which pepper spray one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pepper spray? I can suggest the ones about bug spray and spray.

  1. I knew a guy who survived mustard gas and pepper spray He is now a seasoned veteran
  2. Did you hear about the soldier that got pepper sprayed? He's a seasoned veteran now.
  3. I always cry before talking to attractive girls Any tips against pepper spray?
  4. I've been crying a lot recently It's shocking how many girls carry pepper spray
  5. I usually close my eyes when I kiss girls. Not as much pepper spray gets in that way.
  6. The military man survived mustard gas and pepper spray He's a seasoned veteran
  7. What do you call a fat woman who carries pepper spray? Optimistic.
  8. A guy survived pepper spray and mustard gas Now, he's a seasoned veteran
  9. What do cops use pepper spray for? A salt!
  10. What do the protesters season their food with? Assault and pepper spray.
  11. Person who fought in WWII hit with pepper spray... Now he is a seasoned veteran.
  12. what do you call a pepper sprayed Walter White? Eyesinburn
  13. Why do they call it pepper spray? It goes well with assalt
  14. Why does Bill Cosby cry after making love ? The pepper spray.
  15. Why do police in the US carry a tazer and pepper spray? In case they run out of bullets.

Pepper Spray Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about pepper spray you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hot peppers jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pepper spray pranks.

I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a r**.

.. alarm and some pepper spray.
She looked confused and said, "What are these for?"
I started unbuttoning my jeans and replied, "I like a challenge."

Why are black guys eyes red after s**...? From the pepper spray.

What do you called being pepper sprayed at UC Davis?

Occupational hazard.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

and pepper-spray keeps the b**... at bay!

TIL that 90% of the time black men cry during s**....…

Because of the pepper spray.

Why do black people have red eyes after s**... i**...?

Because of the pepper spray.

What does a black man do after s**...?

Wipes away the pepper spray and 25 to life.

A n**... man...

... was running outside and causing some pandemonium.
The police tried everything to get this man to stop: pepper spray, tazers, rubber bullets...nothing seemed to work.
With a big grin, one officer turned to the Chief and said, "I've got an idea...we spray him with Windex!"
The Chief, confused asked how that would help...
The new guy says, "Windex prevents streaking..."

I went on a blind date the other day...

...it didn't start that way, but she brought pepper spray.
*Credit to America's Got talent comedian (I don't remember his name)

Being in the recreation and natural resources field, I enjoy this every time I hear it

Due to the recent increase of encounters with grizzly and black bears in the area, all hikers should wear bells so you don't sneak up and startle nearby bears. Hikers should also carry pepper spray encase of an encounter. The two bears have different characteristics to their droppings and you can tell which is in the area. Black bear s**... will be smaller and will have berries and squirrel fur in it. Grizzly s**... will be larger, smell like pepper, and have bells in it.

I don't know what to do with these pop-culture jokes now that they are considered to be "unfashionable"

Why is Justin Bieber's face always red after he talks to a woman?
The pepper spray usually hits him right between the eyes.
_________
What is red and orange and looks good on Justin Bieber?
Fire.
____________
Chris Brown takes a girl home from a nightclub.
She says, "Show me that it's true what they say about black rappers!"
So he beats and chokes her, steals her purse, and posts pictures of her all over the Internet.

Being a man of many flavors.

I survived mustard gas and pepper spray, yesterday I was honored a seasoned veteran.

Why did Snoop bring pepper spray in the woods?

Fo da grizzle bear

I often find myself crying during s**......

Probably from the pepper spray...

The teacher in science class asks Little Johnny...

"Why do African American people have yellow eyes?"
Johnny , a little confused , waits for a moment , before replying back, "OH , i know! it's from all the pepper spray!"

For some reason I always cry during s**....

I'm starting to think it might be the pepper spray.

How can you tell if a black guy just had s**...?

His eyes are still red from the pepper spray.

In light of Germany's discovery of ISIS using mustard gas:

What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?
A seasoned veteran.

Why was North African asylum seekers eyes red after having s**...?

Pepper Spray

The first time I had s**... I cried

I don't know whether it was the physical contact, emotional connection, or pepper spray but any way I teared up.

Gay men make sure you're using protection

You know: body armor, pepper spray, concealed carry-hand gun, first-aid kit, maybe a flare gun too.

So I just went to the doctor because my eyes always hurt extremely much when I have s**....

He told me it was probably the pepper spray.

My eyes always hurt whenever I have s**...

It's probably the pepper spray

After years in the Military

After years in the Military, the soldier survived mustard gas and pepper spray and was proud to finally be able to call himself a seasoned veteran.

Was starting to get romantic with a woman last night

As usual I began crying uncontrollably. After getting home it took forever to wash the pepper spray off.

Why do Muslims always have red eyes after s**...?

because of the pepper spray.

I always wear a helmet during i**... cause I'm a firm believer in safe s**....

Doesn't help much against the STD's but it sure is effective against the pepper-spray.

Why do Muslim men cry during s**...?

Pepper spray.

I always close my eyes when I kiss a woman.

Experience tells me that if my eyes are open, I get a lot more pepper spray in them.

I always get teary when I become intimate with a girl,

Any idea how to deal with pepper spray?

A soldier was assaulted with pepper spray and mustard gas.

He returned home a seasoned veteran.

Why did the tourist visiting Mexico bring Prolax and pepper spray?

They prevented hispanic attacks

Police are pepper spraying protesters at the Inauguration today.

I don't know if that is to hurt them, or just give them all Orange Face?

Tonight I'm through living with this constant pain. I am going home.

I quit my job testing pepper spray, and called an uber.

Why do indians cry after s**...?

All the pepper spray in the eyes

How do you know when an Indian moves into your neighborhood?

Even the fat ladies buy pepper spray

Did you hear about the retired soldier that got mustard gassed and pepper sprayed by the police?

He's now a seasoned veteran.
Not sure if this is a repost, one of my friends told me this

I met up with a girl to fulfill a r**... fantasy she had...

It turns out she had a pepper spray and police report fantasy too.

Chuck Norris marinates his steak...

With pepper spray

Some people bring pepper spray for self protection. Others carry a gun.

I bring Goo-Gone for sticky situations.

The best way to protect yourself from grizzly bears is to wear bells and carry pepper spray

Next you need to be able to identify their f**..., it has little bells in it and smells like pepper.

I used to cry during s**...

but now pepper spray doesn't affect me

As things heat up in Charlotte, Virginia...

Remember that pepper spray is super effective against white nationalist because they aren't use to seasoning.

Whats the first thing Harvey Weinstein does after s**...?

Wipes the pepper spray out of his eyes...

There's a protocol when it comes to bears [Long]

If you go camping, you should carry bells so not to startle a bear and be attacked, and pepper spray in case it does.
It would help to learn the s**... of the bear, so you can avoid areas with dangerous species.
Brown and black bear's is small and dark.
Grizzly's is large, light in color, has bells in it and smells like pepper spray.

Why do slugs carry pepper spray when they go out late at night?

To protect themselves from a salt

For some reason I always cry during s**....

Maybe it's from the pepper spray.

What goes good with an assault rifle?

Pepper spray

Why does Bill Cosby cry during s**...?

Pepper spray.

What's the first thing a Texas Tech graduate does after having s**...?

Washes out the pepper spray.

There is only one thing worse than a r**....

And that is pepper spray.

What essential oil works best for getting rid of people?

Pepper spray

Today a girl sitting next to me at the food court said she bit her tongue, so I offered to kiss it better.

Pepper spray really hurts!

My wife was leaving me because I made too many Legend of Zelda references

My wife was leaving me because I made too many Legend of Zelda references. She packed up her suitcase, and she walked out. As soon as she walked out of the door, I noticed that she had left her suitcase here. We live in a bad neighborhood, so she packed some pepper spray in it just in case. I quickly picked it up, ran out the door, and saw her. I handed it to her and said:
It's dangerous to go alone. Here, take this.

Three restaurant owners were arguing about their food

The first one said, "My spicy sauce is super hot! I put a bottle of pepper spray in every batch, and after just one spoon, people can't take anymore and shout for water."
The second one replied, "My spicy sauce is even hotter! I put three bottles of pepper spray in every batch, and the smell alone is enough to burn your face!"
The third one grinned. "That's nothing. My spicy sauce is so hot, that we pour it into aerosol cans and sell it as pepper spray!"

A soldier was hit by mustard gas in war, and then pepper spray by a police officer.

He's now a seasoned veteran.

What's the difference between a cop and a priest?

Priests don't pepper spray cops on their way to church.

Every TSA agent should be re-tasked to a federal oversight taskforce over police brutality.

See what cops think when they can't carry more than 3.4 ounces of pepper spray.

The first time i had s**..., i cried.

I don't know if it was because i was emotional or because of the pepper spray.

The soldier who got assaulted by pepper spray and mustard gas in WW2...

... Is now a seasoned veteran.

My Grandfather survived Pepper spray and Mustard gas attacks in two wars..

..and came to us a seasoned Veteran.