Pepper Jokes

Funniest Pepper Short Jokes

Short pepper jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pepper humour may include short jalapeno jokes also.

1. What do you call a soldier that's survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran
2. How do you know how heavy a chili pepper is? Give it a weigh , give a weigh, give it a weigh now.
3. I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . . . . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?
4. Just been talking to an old guy, ex-soldier. He explained to me he had been exposed to mustard gas and pepper spray, it was nice chatting to a seasoned veteran.
5. Garlic powder $5.99. steak seasoning $14.99. Pepper shaker $9.99. Forgetting to grab your shopping bag at the grocery store counter.......spiceless
6. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.
   My 8 y/o daughter told me this joke.
7. My roommate keeps stealing my food so I ground up Pepper and made cupcakes with it. Pepper was a dumb thing to name his dog anyway.
8. When I go in to kiss a girl, I always close my eyes. Ive just learned from experience, if my eyes are open, more pepper spray gets in them.
9. Frenchman in a hotel. A french man calls the room service and asks for some "pepper".
   "Well ... would you like some white pepper or black pepper?" asks the receptionist.
   "Toilet pepper."
10. Why do slugs carry pepper spray when they go out late at night? To protect themselves from a salt

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Pepper One Liners

Which pepper one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pepper? I can suggest the ones about peas and chilli.

1. Why didn't the green pepper practice archery? Because it didn't habanero.
2. What do you call a pizza with just peppers on it? A pepperonly pizza!
3. What kind of Dr is Dr Pepper? A Fizzician
4. Why does dr pepper come in a bottle Because his wife died
5. Where did Dr. Pepper get his degree? The University of Minnesoda
6. Why do sharks live in salt water Because pepper water makes them sneeze
7. I've been crying a lot recently It's shocking how many girls carry pepper spray
8. What does a nosy pepper do? It gets jalapeño business.
9. My dad is a rugged ex-Marine with a salt-and-pepper beard... He's a seasoned veteran.
10. What do you call a Muslim pepper? A halal-peno.
    I'm sorry.
11. What did the jalapeno dress up as for Halloween? A Ghost Pepper.
12. What's the opposite of Himalayan Salt? Herastandin Pepper.
13. What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalepeño face.
14. What do you call a fat woman who carries pepper spray? Optimistic.
15. What is a jihadist's favorite kind of pepper? Allahpeño

Pepper Spray Jokes

Here is a list of funny pepper spray jokes and even better pepper spray puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I went on a blind date the other day... ...it didn't start that way, but she brought pepper spray.
  *Credit to America's Got Talent comedian (I don't remember his name)
• Did you hear about the retired soldier that got mustard gassed and pepper sprayed by the police? He's now a seasoned veteran.
  Not sure if this is a repost, one of my friends told me this
• My Grandfather survived Pepper spray and Mustard gas attacks in two wars.. ..and came to us a seasoned Veteran.
• Do you know what my uncle got for surviving the mustard gas and pepper spray attacks? He got the seasoned veteran award.
• What do cops use pepper spray for? A salt!
• What do the protesters season their food with? Assault and pepper spray.
• Some people bring pepper spray for self protection. Others carry a gun. I bring Goo-Gone for sticky situations.
• what do you call a pepper sprayed Walter White? Eyesinburn
• Why do they call it pepper spray? It goes well with assalt
• Was starting to get romantic with a woman last night As usual I began crying uncontrollably. After getting home it took forever to wash the pepper spray off.

Dr Pepper Jokes

Here is a list of funny dr pepper jokes and even better dr pepper puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I couldn't afford a weight set so I tried to work out using 3 liter bottles of Dr Pepper, but instead of getting stronger it made me feel sad. It was just soda pressing.
• Why does Dr. Pepper come In cans? He's a strange dude.
• What did Dr. pepper earn his PhD in? Fizz-ics
• Don't drink Mr Pibb. It's just a cheap knockoff of Dr Pepper.. The dude didn't even get a degree.
• Is it sexist.... ...I just assume Dr. Pepper is a guy?
• What is the worst type of doctor for a diabetic? .
  Dr. Pepper.
• Had the choice between 3 Cokes and 4 Dr Peppers. I picked seven up.
• Why did Dr. Pepper prescribe himself Prozac after being recycled? Because he was soda pressed
• Why did Mr. Pibb go see Dr. Pepper at Rehab? Because he was addicted to Coke.
• What did Dr Pepper major in? Physiology.

Salt Pepper Jokes

Here is a list of funny salt pepper jokes and even better salt pepper puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What did the pepper shaker say to the salt shaker? You're sodium cute
• A fashion designer was interviewing a cannibal... "So what do you think would best complement a person?"
  "Salt and pepper."
• Why didn't the chef salt the pizza? Because the customer asked for pepper only
• What did the salt say to the pepper? Season's greetings!
• Salt: So nice to see you. Paprika: How do you do? Nutmeg: 'Sup.
  Garlic: Yo!
  Pepper: HI!
  Oregano: Hola.
  Seasons' Greetings everyone
• A merchant had been selling salt and pepper for 30 years... He's a pretty seasoned salesman
• Trying to teach English is very frustrating I mean how hard is it to understand that "I peppered salt on my baked fries and boneless ribs?"
• How did the pepper end up getting killed? A salt with deadly weapon
• Before I go on any long journeys, I always put some salt and pepper on my head. I'm a well-seasoned traveller.
• Spring, winter, summer, or autumn? the best seasons for chefs are.. Salt and Pepper

Salt And Pepper Jokes

Here is a list of funny salt and pepper jokes and even better salt and pepper puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Sometimes I put salt and pepper on my head and practice medicine on animals. I guess I'm a seasoned vet.
• What do you get when you cross Michael J. Fox with the Spice Girls A salt and pepper shaker.
• If you see a hedgehog in your bonfire remove it After 40 minutes for well done then season with salt and pepper.
• You guys hear about the pepper shaker that was attacked by the salt shaker? Apparently the salt shaker was arrested and charged with aggravated as-*salt*
• So I have 2 cats, 1 black and 1 white so being the normie I am I named them salt and pepper A few years past and pepper has sadly pasted away,
  I guess black cats do bring bad luck
• What did the salt and pepper say about the autumn spice? They season changes everything.
• Why do sharks swim in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
  Source: Random 7 or 8 year old at a gas station.
• You should always carry pepper when you go into the city In case you become a victim of a-salt!
• Why did the pepper shaker get arrested? He aggravated a salt
  Source: My Dad
• What do you call Michael J. Fox and Muhammad Ali? Salt and Pepper.

Great Pepper Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends

What funny jokes about pepper you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean peanut jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pepper pranks.