Great Pepper Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What does a nosy pepper do?
Get jalapeno business
Did you hear about the man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?
They say that he's a seasoned veteran.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water? (Got this is a c**... Jack box)
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
TIL that 90% of the time black men cry during s**....…
Because of the pepper spray.
What does a nosy pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business.
What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face.
What does a nosey pepper do?
Gets jalapeño buisness.
... I'll let my self out.
I once knew a soldier who suffered through both mustard gas and pepper spray.
He was a seasoned veteran.
I went on a blind date the other day...
...it didn't start that way, but she brought pepper spray.
*Credit to America's Got Talent comedian (I don't remember his name)
I've been crying a lot recently
It's shocking how many girls carry pepper spray
Frenchman in a hotel.
A french man calls the room service and asks for some "pepper".
"Well ... would you like some white pepper or black pepper?" asks the receptionist.
"Toilet pepper."
You can explore pepper shakers reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean pepper pepper spray dad jokes. There are also pepper puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
When I go in to kiss a girl, I always close my eyes.
Ive just learned from experience, if my eyes are open, more pepper spray gets in them.
What do you call a soldier who has been mustard gassed and pepper sprayed?
A seasoned veteran.. I'm so sorry
I usually close my eyes when I kiss girls.
Not as much pepper spray gets in that way.
I often find myself crying during s**......
Probably from the pepper spray...
I don't use pepper spray when I'm being robbed
I just open my wallet and blow the dust into their eyes.
For some reason I always cry during s**....
I'm starting to think it might be the pepper spray.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
My 8 y/o daughter told me this joke.
I always cry before talking to attractive girls
Any tips against pepper spray?
I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . .
. . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?
My eyes always hurt whenever I have s**...
It's probably the pepper spray
After years in the Military
After years in the Military, the soldier survived mustard gas and pepper spray and was proud to finally be able to call himself a seasoned veteran.
A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. What type of veteran is he?
A seasoned veteran.
*In the ER* "We're losing him, anyone have any ideas?"
"How about 50 cc's of a cool refreshing beverage?"
"d**... Dr. Pepper not now!"
Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles?
His wife is dead.
Why does Dr Pepper come in bottles?
So his wife won't get pregnant
What did the jalapeno dress up as for Halloween?
A Ghost Pepper.
Where did Dr. Pepper get his degree?
The University of Minnesoda
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife won't let him use socks anymore.
Did you hear about the retired soldier that got mustard gassed and pepper sprayed by the police?
He's now a seasoned veteran.
Not sure if this is a repost, one of my friends told me this
What on Earth is a nosey pepper?!
It's one that gets all jalapeno business (sorry)
Did you hear about the soldier that got pepper sprayed?
He's a seasoned veteran now.
How do you know how heavy a chili pepper is?
Give it a weigh , give a weigh, give it a weigh now.
The military man survived mustard gas and pepper spray
He's a seasoned veteran
Why do sharks live in salt water
Because pepper water makes them sneeze
I used to cry during s**...
but now pepper spray doesn't affect me
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because if they lived in pepper water they would sneeze
I knew a guy who survived mustard gas and pepper spray
He is now a seasoned veteran
Why does dr pepper come in a bottle
Because his wife died
A Frenchman staying at a hotel in England calls room service and asks for some pepper...
"What kind of pepper would you like, sir? Black pepper, white pepper, red pepper?" asked the manager.
He replied, "Toilette pepper!"
Why do slugs carry pepper spray when they go out late at night?
To protect themselves from a salt
Why does Bill Cosby cry during s**...?
Pepper spray.
What do you call a Muslim pepper?
A halal-peno.
I'm sorry.
How do you Measure how Heavy a Red Hot Chili Pepper Is?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!
How do you measure the mass of a red hot chili pepper.
Give it a weigh. Give it a weigh. Give it a weigh now.
What do you call a soldier that's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?
A seasoned veteran
How do you check the weight of a Red Hot Chilli Pepper
You give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
I got hit in the head with a can of Dr. Pepper today
Luckily I'm not hurt, it was a soft drink
My Grandfather survived Pepper spray and Mustard gas attacks in two wars..
..and came to us a seasoned Veteran.
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
My roommate keeps stealing my food so I ground up Pepper and made cupcakes with it.
Pepper was a dumb thing to name his dog anyway.
How do you find out how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is??
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!!
How can you tell how heavy a chilli pepper is?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!
There was once a truck driver eating at a diner.
He was enjoying his meal, when a gang of bikers walked in. They started bullying him, by dumping salt and pepper all over him, spitting in his coffee, and stealing his food. To their surprise, the truck driver did nothing, but pay the bill, and walk out of the diner.
As they are marveling about this, the waitress comes up to them. The biker gang says that the truck driver wasn't much of a fighter.
The waitress then looks out into the night and says, He doesn't look to be much of a driver either. He just ran over 3 motorcycles.
Did you hear about the soldier who was attacked with mustard gas and pepper spray?
He was a seasoned veteran
What do you call an Army Commander who is covered in pepper?
A seasoned veteran
You hear about the soldier who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray?
He was a seasoned veteran.
How do you measure how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now…
Just been talking to an old guy, ex-soldier.
He explained to me he had been exposed to mustard gas and pepper spray, it was nice chatting to a seasoned veteran.
Why couldn't the pepper do archery?
Because he didn't habanero
What's the opposite of Himalayan Salt?
Herastandin Pepper.
I threw a seasoning at someone they said it was assault
But it was pepper
(OC)
What kind of Dr is Dr Pepper?
A Fizzician
I was eating at a restaurant the other day when a lawyer sat at the next table across from me. The waiter arrived to take his order and accidentally knocked the salt and pepper straight into his lap.
I thought, Now there's a seasoned professional .
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze.
(Roughly translated from a recent issue of *Acadie Nouvelle*)
A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, And then Pepper Spray by the police, He's now a seasoned veteran.
First time on this sub reddit so don't have a lot of experience
What was the Ottoman Empire's main export?
Sultan pepper
How do you determine the mass of a chilli pepper?
You give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh, now.
Garlic powder $5.99. Steak seasoning $14.99. Pepper shaker $9.99.
Forgetting to grab your shopping bag at the grocery store counter.......spiceless
