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Pepper Jokes

168 pepper jokes and hilarious pepper puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about pepper that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Ready for a laugh? Check out this collection of spicy Pepper Jokes that'll have you rolling in laughter! From Pepper Spray to Pepper Jack to Pepper Mill and more, you'll find some truly unique wordplay that'll bring the heat. Enjoy a few of our favorite Chili jokes and find out why Pepper is the spice of love!

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Funniest Pepper Short Jokes

Short pepper jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pepper humour may include short jalapeno jokes also.

  1. What do you call a soldier that's survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran
  2. A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. What type of veteran is he? A seasoned veteran.
  3. How do you know how heavy a chili pepper is? Give it a weigh , give a weigh, give it a weigh now.
  4. I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . . . . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?
  5. How do you check the weight of a Red Hot Chilli Pepper You give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
  6. Just been talking to an old guy, ex-soldier. He explained to me he had been exposed to mustard gas and pepper spray, it was nice chatting to a seasoned veteran.
  7. Garlic powder $5.99. steak seasoning $14.99. Pepper shaker $9.99. Forgetting to grab your shopping bag at the grocery store counter.......spiceless
  8. How do you measure how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is? Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now…
  9. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.
    My 8 y/o daughter told me this joke.
  10. I once knew a soldier who suffered through both mustard gas and pepper spray. He was a seasoned veteran.

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Pepper One Liners

Which pepper one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pepper? I can suggest the ones about peas and chilli.

  1. Why didn't the green pepper practice archery? Because it didn't habanero.
  2. I knew a guy who survived mustard gas and pepper spray He is now a seasoned veteran
  3. What do you call a pizza with just peppers on it? A pepperonly pizza!
  4. What kind of Dr is Dr Pepper? A Fizzician
  5. Why couldn't the pepper do archery? Because he didn't habanero
  6. Why does dr pepper come in a bottle Because his wife died
  7. Where did Dr. Pepper get his degree? The University of Minnesoda
  8. Did you hear about the soldier that got pepper sprayed? He's a seasoned veteran now.
  9. What do you call an Army Commander who is covered in pepper? A seasoned veteran
  10. Why do sharks live in salt water Because pepper water makes them sneeze
  11. I always cry before talking to attractive girls Any tips against pepper spray?
  12. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife won't let him use socks anymore.
  13. I've been crying a lot recently It's shocking how many girls carry pepper spray
  14. What does a nosy pepper do? Get jalapeno business
  15. Why do fish live in salt water? Because if they lived in pepper water they would sneeze

Pepper Spray Jokes

Here is a list of funny pepper spray jokes and even better pepper spray puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I don't use pepper spray when I'm being robbed I just open my wallet and blow the dust into their eyes.
  • A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, And then Pepper Spray by the police, He's now a seasoned veteran. First time on this sub reddit so don't have a lot of experience
  • What do you call a soldier who has been mustard gassed and pepper sprayed? A seasoned veteran.. I'm so sorry
  • When I go in to kiss a girl, I always close my eyes. Ive just learned from experience, if my eyes are open, more pepper spray gets in them.
  • Did you hear about the man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? They say that he's a seasoned veteran.
  • I usually close my eyes when I kiss girls. Not as much pepper spray gets in that way.
  • Why do slugs carry pepper spray when they go out late at night? To protect themselves from a salt
  • I went on a blind date the other day... ...it didn't start that way, but she brought pepper spray.
    *Credit to America's Got talent comedian (I don't remember his name)
  • After years in the Military After years in the Military, the soldier survived mustard gas and pepper spray and was proud to finally be able to call himself a seasoned veteran.
  • Did you hear about the soldier who was attacked with mustard gas and pepper spray? He was a seasoned veteran

Pepper Sprayed Jokes

Here is a list of funny pepper sprayed jokes and even better pepper sprayed puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear about the retired soldier that got mustard gassed and pepper sprayed by the police? He's now a seasoned veteran.
    Not sure if this is a repost, one of my friends told me this
  • You hear about the soldier who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray? He was a seasoned veteran.
  • My Grandfather survived Pepper spray and Mustard gas attacks in two wars.. ..and came to us a seasoned Veteran.
  • The military man survived mustard gas and pepper spray He's a seasoned veteran
  • A soldier was hit by mustard gas in war, and then pepper spray by a police officer. He's now a seasoned veteran.
  • What do you call a fat woman who carries pepper spray? Optimistic.
  • Gay men make sure you're using protection You know: body armor, pepper spray, concealed carry-hand gun, first-aid kit, maybe a flare gun too.
  • My Grandfather survived mustard gas and pepper spray attacks in the war. We call him a seasoned veteran.
  • Here goes A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He's now a seasoned veteran.
  • A guy survived pepper spray and mustard gas Now, he's a seasoned veteran
Pepper joke, A guy survived pepper spray and mustard gas

Dr Pepper Jokes

Here is a list of funny dr pepper jokes and even better dr pepper puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I got hit in the head with a can of Dr. Pepper today Luckily I'm not hurt, it was a soft drink
  • Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? His wife is dead.
  • Why does Dr Pepper come in bottles? So his wife won't get pregnant
  • 9 out of 10 doctors recommend drinking water over soda Not Dr. Pepper.
  • What kind of Doctor was Dr. Pepper? a fizzzzician....
  • What type of medicine does Dr Pepper practice? Fizzyology
  • I couldn't afford a weight set so I tried to work out using 3 liter bottles of Dr Pepper, but instead of getting stronger it made me feel sad. It was just soda pressing.
  • What kind of Doctor is Dr. Pepper? # A Phizz-ician !
  • Why does Dr. Pepper come in a can? His wife died.
    Credit to Mike Zahalsky, Urologist
  • Why does Dr. Pepper come In cans? He's a strange dude.

Salt And Pepper Jokes

Here is a list of funny salt and pepper jokes and even better salt and pepper puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My dad is a rugged ex-Marine with a salt-and-pepper beard... He's a seasoned veteran.
  • What's the opposite of Himalayan Salt? Herastandin Pepper.
  • What do you call a war hero covered in salt and pepper? A seasoned veteran.
  • What did the pepper shaker say to the salt shaker? You're sodium cute
  • A fashion designer was interviewing a cannibal... "So what do you think would best complement a person?"
    "Salt and pepper."
  • Why didn't the chef salt the pizza? Because the customer asked for pepper only
  • Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper water would make them sneeze.
    (Roughly translated from a recent issue of *Acadie Nouvelle*)
  • Why do some fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze. (From my 8 year old daughter)
  • Why do seals swim in salt water? Because if they swam in pepper water they'd do nothing but sneeze all day
  • What did the salt say to the pepper? Season's greetings!

Pepper Jack Jokes

Here is a list of funny pepper jack jokes and even better pepper jack puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why do sharks only swim in salt water? (Got this is a c**... Jack box) Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
Pepper joke, Why do sharks only swim in salt water? (Got this is a c**... Jack box)

Great Pepper Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends

What funny jokes about pepper you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean peanut jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pepper pranks.

TIL that 90% of the time black men cry during s**....…

Because of the pepper spray.

What does an angry pepper do?

Get jalapèno face!!!

Why do black people have red eyes after s**... i**...?

Because of the pepper spray.

What does a nosy pepper do?

It gets jalapeño business.

What does an angry pepper do?

It gets jalepeño face.

A French guest, staying in a hotel in Edmonton...

A French guest, staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper "Black pepper, or white pepper? " asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper! "

What does a nosey pepper do?

Gets jalapeño buisness.
... I'll let my self out.

Frenchman in a hotel.

A french man calls the room service and asks for some "pepper".
"Well ... would you like some white pepper or black pepper?" asks the receptionist.
"Toilet pepper."

I often find myself crying during s**......

Probably from the pepper spray...

So this bell pepper spots a jalapeño walking on the streets...

and wants to know why he's all wrapped up in layers of clothes. "Hey," he says, "hey, aren't you a bit hot?"
"No," says the jalapeño, "I'm a little chili"

For some reason I always cry during s**....

I'm starting to think it might be the pepper spray.

My eyes always hurt whenever I have s**...

It's probably the pepper spray

How do you know if a pepper is starting a fight with you?

It gets jalapeño face.

*In the ER* "We're losing him, anyone have any ideas?"

"How about 50 cc's of a cool refreshing beverage?"
"d**... Dr. Pepper not now!"

What do you call a pepper in late autumn?

A little chili

What do you call a hot pepper with nothing inside it?

A hollowpeno

What did the jalapeno dress up as for Halloween?

A Ghost Pepper.

A nurse runs up to a doctor

"Doctor, Doctor!" she exclaims. "This patient's blood sugar is crashing!"
"This calls for a cool refreshing beverage!" says the doctor.
The nurse says, "Dr. Pepper! not now."

What on Earth is a nosey pepper?!

It's one that gets all jalapeno business (sorry)

Do you have any idea how heavy a chili pepper is?

Why don't you go ahead and give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

Garlic powder $5.99. Steak seasoning $14.99. Pepper shaker $9.99.

Forgetting to grab your shopping bag at the grocery store counter.......spiceless.
(The most common first comment I see for every joke is "repost". I just made this one up. If someone came up with the same punchline before, guess what, it's a coincidence. Great minds think alike)

I used to cry during s**...

but now pepper spray doesn't affect me

What happens when a chili pepper gets mad at you?

He gets jalapeño face!!!

What is a jihadist's favorite kind of pepper?

Allahpeño

Why was the pepper shivering?

Because it was chilli.

A Frenchman staying at a hotel in England calls room service and asks for some pepper...

"What kind of pepper would you like, sir? Black pepper, white pepper, red pepper?" asked the manager.
He replied, "Toilette pepper!"

Why does Bill Cosby cry during s**...?

Pepper spray.

Tony Stark and Pepper potts are sitting in bathtub feeling Happy..

... Suddenly Happy felt disgusted and left.

What do you call an Islamic pepper?

A Halal-peño.

What do you call a Muslim pepper?

A halal-peno.
I'm sorry.

How do you Measure how Heavy a Red Hot Chili Pepper Is?




Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!

How do you measure how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
Credits to: Adam pacitti

What does an annoying pepper do

It gets jalepeno face.

How do you measure the mass of a red hot chili pepper.

Give it a weigh. Give it a weigh. Give it a weigh now.

If Pepper isn't the most famous doctor...

...then Who is.

My roommate keeps stealing my food so I ground up Pepper and made cupcakes with it.

Pepper was a dumb thing to name his dog anyway.

Why Wasn't the Green Pepper Able to Participate in the Archery Competition?

It didn't habanero....

How do you find out how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is??

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!!

What do you call a nosy pepper?

Jalapeño business.

Pepper joke, What do you call a nosy pepper?

jokes about pepper