Pennsylvania Jokes
39 pennsylvania jokes and hilarious pennsylvania puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pennsylvania that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
If you're looking for some good laughs, check out our collection of Pennsylvania Jokes. From the hilarious bama jokes to the witty Erie and Delaware quips, you'll find something to make you smile. Get ready for some good old-fashioned laughs with these Pennsylvania Dutch jokes!
Funniest Pennsylvania Short Jokes
Short pennsylvania jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pennsylvania humour may include short gees jokes also.
- What did Sean Connery say when he noticed that there wasn't any electricity in the Pennsylvania countryside? "Shomething'sh Amish..."
- There is rumor of a new "Amish Flu" out of Pennsylvania... the symptoms are low grade fever, and you will get a little hoarse and Buggy.
- Meanwhile, in Pennsylvania Q. What goes "Clip, Clop, Clip, Clop, BANG!! ClipClopClipClopClipClopClipClop"
A. An Amish drive-by shooting - House Speaker: I now invite Bill de Blasio, the president of the United States to give his address to the nation. Bill de Blasio : 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., Washington DC. Thank you!!
- What does a police officer in rural Pennsylvania say when he sees suspicious behavior? "Hmm, something's Amish here."
- What do you call an uncredited writer in urban northwest Pennsylvania? An Erie ghost writer.
- Donald Trump says he went to the University of Pennsylvania, but I could have sworn he went to Syracuse. Because he sure is an Orange Man.
- Whats the worst joke you can play on an American? Two pies to the face and one somewhere in a field in Pennsylvania.
- Breakthrough on the packages sent to Soros, Obama and Clinton The return address was listed as 1600 Pennsylvania Ave
- Have you heard about the recent wave of Saudi emmigration to Pennsylvania? No?
Yeah, well it's quite big - there was even a popular documentary series on it...
"It's always Sunni in Philadelphia."
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Pennsylvania One Liners
Which pennsylvania one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pennsylvania? I can suggest the ones about rural and eastern.
- Where does Dracula buy his pencils? Pennsylvania.
- Where do pens and pencils go on vacation? Pennsylvania
- Why are there no subs in Pennsylvania? Everyone is either a hoagie or a dom.
- Why does no one own an Xbox in Pennsylvania? Because it's always Sony in Philadelphia!
- Q: Where does Dracula get his writing utensils? A: Pennsylvania
xoxo - Where do vampires get their school supplies? Pennsylvania
- Girl, are you Allentown Pennsylvania Because I would never come to you.
- Who has a Pennsylvania address and four dads? Lincoln.
- Where is the world's biggest pencil factory? In Pennsylvania.
- Where did the vampire go when he wanted to learn how to draw? Pennsylvania
- How do you flirt with a girl from Pennsylvania? You poconos.
- Where are pencils made? Pennsylvania.
- I ran cross country back in high school. But I only made it as far as Pennsylvania.
- Pennsylvania What happened when Edward visited Pennsylvania?
He was Snowden. - Are you from Pennsylvania cause I want to stick my pen in your sylvania
Happy Pennsylvania Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about pennsylvania you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean areas jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pennsylvania pranks.
An assistant to Donald Trump
>**An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night.**
**There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump.**
**Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past.**
**Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere.**
**It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!!**
**Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great!**
**By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay?"**
**His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed."**
Advice from my father
Son, you need a woman who can cook, a woman who can clean, a woman that is great in bed. Most importantly, you must make sure these three women never meet.
Happy Saturday night from Pennsylvania
I'm playing Monopoly with Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton...
Trump grabbed Community Chest as fast as he could, is building hotels on properties he doesn't really own and is refusing to pay income tax
Clinton started out with a house on Illinois Ave, somehow always has a "Get out of jail free" card and keeps saying she respects any opponent holding Vermont Ave
However, in the end, I have a feeling neither will be satisfied until they get a house on Pennsylvania Ave
An old man stumbles into a bar after having had a few already...
Once inside, he slides up to the bar and orders a shot of whiskey. "To the class of '55!" he yells, holding the glass aloft. Next to him, an old drunk raises his glass, "To the class of '55!"
"Where you from?" asks the first man of the second after they both toast.
"I'm from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania."
"You don't say?! I'm from Pittsburgh!"
The two men drink to their hometown.
"What high school did you go to?" Ask the second man as he orders them another round.
"St Ignaius on Lombard Street."
"You're kidding me, I went to St Ignaius!" The two toast the coincidence and sling an arm over each other's shoulders as they begin to fondly reminisce about the old days.
A bar regular walks in and calls out to the bartender, "Hey Steve, what's going on?"
"Oh nothing," Steve replies, "The Johnson twins are drunk again."
A 10 years old boy was at the center of a Philadelphia courtroom in Pennsylvania yesterday
.... when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life his family, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Philadelphia 76ers whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
The ultimate Frisbee team from the University of Pennsylvania was giving away free writing utensils that had been made by Sean Penn, and I got the second-to-last one.
Now I have the penultimate Penn ultimate Penn pen.
The elder statesman was giving his farewell speech.
"And when I die, bury my head in Central Pennsylvania, for that was where I had my brightest ideas. Bury my hands in Washington, D.C., for that was where I accomplished the most work. Bury my feet on the West Coast, for that was where I ran the hardest."
Just then, a journalist interrupted, "Sir, where should we bury your a**...? Because you've made the whole country a s**...!".
Pennsylvania and New Jersey changed their state mottos today in order to cut their highway budgets.
Now they both proudly display "Road Work Ahead. Expect Delays" on their welcome signs to better reflect the status of their roadways.
