Following is our collection of funny Penises jokes. There are some penises wieners jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these penises micropenis puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
The doctor says, "That's amazing! How do your pants fit?"
The man says, "Like a glove."
The doctor says, That's unbelievable, how do your pants fit!
The man says "Like a glove."
They serve their purpose but nobody really wants one.
I walked in a library and asked the librarian for a book about small penises. The librarian said, "I'm not sure if it's in yet".
I replied "Yeah, that's the one"
morally_inept can't take a joke.
What jew doesn't like 10% off?
A man walks into a doctors office and says
Man: "Doctor, Doctor! I have 5 penises!!"
Doctor: "That's amazing! How do your pants fit?!"
Man: "Like a glove."
"...Doctor! You gotta help me! I have five penises!
The doctor says: "My god man... how does your pants fit?
Man replies, "Like a glove."
A new study conducted on Asians shows that the long held to be true stereotype is partially false. In fact, only 50% of Asians have small penises.
The other 50% are women.
A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, listen, I've been having troubles with my five penises." The doctor responds, "Five penises! That's incredible, how does your underwear fit?". The man says, "Like a glove".
A man has 5 penises and when one of his friends found out, they asked him "How do your pants fit?" The man responded, "Like a glove".
You can explore penises anabolic reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean penises pants dad jokes. There are also penises puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A man visits his doctor and tells him,
"You've got to help me doc. I've got 5 penises!"
To which the doctor replies,
"5 penises! How do your pants fit?"
"Like a glove!"
His pants fit him like a glove.
...and his pants fit like a glove.
Little Johnny went to school and the teacher was teaching human anatomy. She pointed to the private part of a male and asked her class if anyone knew what it was.
Little Johnny raised his hand: "I do, I do! and my daddy has two of them!" Teacher was puzzled.
"My daddy has a small one to pee with and a long one to brush my mom's teeth with!"
A man finds himself as the cook on a ship that has just set off on a voyage. He does a quick survey of the kitchen. Everything seems good except in the pantry he finds several bags of potatoes that are all shaped like penises. "That's weird," he thinks as he goes and finds the captain.
"Hey, captain, what's with all the potatoes looking like penises. I don't like it," he says.
The captain replies, "Well you can't change it. This is a dictatorship."
I don't know, I thought he came across as two cocky.
"These pants fit like a glove"
Because Jewish girls won't touch anything that's not 10% off
Doppelwangers
A man goes to the library and asks if they have a book on small penises. After checking the computer, the librarian replies, "I don't think it's in yet." He looks at her and says, "Yeah that's the one."
Well, what is it?" asks the doctor.
"I have five penises."
"Five penises!," exclaims the doctor, "How does your underwear fit?"
"Like a glove!"
Well, I had toast.
The doctor says "Woow, how do your pants fit?", he replies "like a glove"
The librarian said, "I don't think it's in yet."
I said, "Yes, that's the one."
A guy walks into a bookstore and asks the assistant, "Hey, do you know if you guys have the new book for guys with short penises?"
The assistant says, "I'm not sure if it's in yet."
Guy says, "Yeah, that's the one!"
They're both long and hard, unless you're Asian.
"What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?" said her daughter.
"Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"
... and the little boy asks, "Dad why are our penises different?"
The father replies, "Firstly, son, you don't have an erection."
His pants fit like a glove.
And a stunning gorgeous woman seats by his side. He's the eager to start a conversation.
"So, what are you doing in Paris?"
"I'm a scientist, I research sex"
The man is now tempted:
"What have you discovered about sex in your research?"
"I came to find that Native Americans have the longest penises and Spanish can last the longest in bed. By the way, I'm Carol, what's your name?"
"I'm Sitting Bull Hernandez, nice to meet you"
A man walks into a library and says "Excuse me, miss, but do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian goes to the computer, types a few things in, and says "I don't think it's in yet."
The man replies, "Yeah, that's the one..."
Rumour has it his underwear fit him like a glove.
Man : do you have the new book on small penises?
Women : sorry, I don't think it's in yet.
Man : yeah, that's the one!
His underwear fits him like a glove.
As long as she keeps blowing my mind
That woman blows my mind
Still, I'd prefer she didn't have one at all..
... I struck up a conversations opening with "That seems interesting"
She responds: "It really is! Did you know that Native Americans have the longest penises in the world? And Poles the girthiest!"
She extends her hand, I grab it and say... "Tonto Polanski, pleasure to meet you"
She said, "It's not in yet".
I replied, "YES, That's The Book!"
He asks the librarian "Excuse me, have you got the new book on small penises please?"
"I'm sorry, I don't think it's in yet"
"yes that's the one"
He said "Like a glove!"
Man: "Do you have the book about small penises?"
Librarian: "It's not in yet."
Man: "Yeah, that's the one."
"Hi, do you have that book on small penises?"
"Sorry, I don't think it's in yet." She responds.
"Yeah that's the one"
But then I realized there is a vas deferens between them.
Hesitating just a bit, I stammered, "Well...I...I...I seem to have 5 penises."
Stunned, eyes wide, he rasped, "Wait, what?! How did you get your pants on!?"
I whispered, "Actually, they fit like a glove."
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
The man replies, "Yeah that's the one."
A dictatorship
His underwear fits like a glove.
The Coast Guard had received a distress call, but a chopper arrived to find no ship in the water. Seeing the cargo strewn about on the water, they decided to send a diver down to look for the ship.
"I already know what kind of ship to look for," the diver told the chopper pilot.
"How could you possibly know what kind of ship it was?" replied the pilot.
"It was a dictatorship."
Mom: Daddy doesn't have two penises son
Son: Sure he does! He has the little one he uses to pee and the big one he uses to brush the babysitter's teeth!
"Ummm... I don't think it's in yet."
"Yeah! That's the one!"
The doctor says, " 5 penises!? How do your pants fit?"
The man replies, " like a glove."
A meaty-urologist
Like a glove
My girlfriend told me that Men's brains are all in their penises. I told her that I like it when she blows my mind.
They love anything that's 15% off
Just a joke lol
"Is it true that babies come out of the same place that boys put their penises?"
The mother, hesitatingly replies "Yes dear" and plans on how to explain sex to her daughter.
The shocked teenager responds "But then when I have a baby, won't it knock out all my teeth"
He's been looking for a condom that fits like a glove.
"hi, I would like to borrow a book about small penises"
"it's not in yet" said the librarian.
"that's the one!"
When he removed his pants the doctor was surprised at what he saw.
"You have two penises!" Said the doctor.
"Yeah, I know." Jose replies, "I call the one on the left 'Little Jose.'"
The doctor smiles at the joke, "What about the other one?"
"I call that one 'Little Hose B.'
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
Librarian: I don't know if it's in yet.
ME: Yes, that's the one.
During the exam, the doctor asked, Have you been practicing safe sex?
The man responds, Yes, although it can be cumbersome at times.
The doctor then asks the man, How do you use a condom with 5 penises?
The man says, Fits like a glove.
Because Russia loves dick-taters.
With not alot of luck I decided to ask the librarian - "Have you seen the book about small penises?"
she replied "It isn't in yet"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!"
A man goes into a book shop and asks the young female assistant,
"Do you have the new book out for men with short penises? I can't remember the title. "
She replies, "I'm not sure if it's in yet."
The man said, "Yes! That's the one! I'll take a copy, thanks!"
She replied, "Does this mean that you sometimes put other men's penises in your mouth?" Her son thought that this was an odd response but answered, "Yes." "Then I never want you to complain about my cooking again." (It was her hilarious way of saying that his orientation is not an issue for her.)
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the penises erection jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working penises dick piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.