Pencil Jokes

Funniest Pencil Short Jokes

Short pencil jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pencil humour may include short crayon jokes also.

1. My dad has a pencil that was once owned by Shakespeare. It's so chewed up that we can't tell if it's 2b or not 2b.
2. I'm having a hard time trying to decide on which pencil to use for my English literature exam. 2B or not 2B - that is the question.
3. One of shakespeare's original pencils is going up for auction Problem is its very chewed, so nobody can tell if its 2b or not 2b
4. I thought about inventing a pencil with an eraser at both ends. But I didn't see the point.
5. A new cache of pencils chewed by Shakespeare have been found The bard apparently chewed them so much, he couldnt tell if they were 2B or not 2B
6. [ORIGINAL JOKE] A secretary is like... a pencil sharpener, you can't really say it's yours until you screw it on your desk.
7. I used to have an invisible pencil I really didn't see the point of it.
8. I made a car entirely out of pencils, rubbers, rulers and notebooks. Went to turn the key.. Stayed stationary.
9. A guy came up to me the other day, and shoved a gun into my face. He demanded my 'money or my life'. Guess who the burned-out pencil pusher with a mortgage and a loveless marriage is now.
10. Did you hear about the pencil that got an injury in jail? It broke mid-sentence.

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Pencil One Liners

Which pencil one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pencil? I can suggest the ones about sketch and ink pen.

1. Why did Shakespeare only write in ink? Pencils posed an issue; 2B or not 2B
2. Why do pencils shave? To look sharp.
    
    
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3. I've decided to marry a pencil I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B
4. I was rejected from my dream art school because I used the wrong pencil. It wasn't 2B.
5. Why shouldn't you write with a dull pencil? It's pointless
6. What do you call two pencils fighting? A grafight.
7. I have a joke about pizza and a broken pencil unfortunately it's cheesy and pointless
8. How does a mathematician solve their constipation? They work it out with a pencil
9. How do you make your wife scream after s**...? Wipe your d**... on the curtain.
10. Today I wanted to make a broken pencil pun But there's no point.
11. Why don't blind people sharpen pencils? They don't see the point.
12. I want to design a pencil with an eraser on both ends. People say it's pointless though.
13. Where does Dracula buy his pencils? Pennsylvania.
14. When can't a pencil write out a check? When it's broke.
15. Why do accordionists always carry a pencil? To draw a crowd.

Pencil And Paper Jokes

Here is a list of funny pencil and paper jokes and even better pencil and paper puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What did the pencil say to the suspicious piece of paper? I dot my i's on you!
  -Heard this from an 85 year old lady in a nursing facility. The mental image of this joke is quite funny!
• A pencil stands face to face against his nemesis, Paper. Will our hero find the strength he needs to overcome his greatest foe?! 2B continued...
• How do you write a paper with just your pencil? With a good point
• In art class, I saw my friend making a gradient from dark to light on his paper with his pencil today. "Hey, what are you doing?"
  "Illustrating Fifty Shades of Grey..."
• Why don't pencils and graph paper get along? Because they're made out of graphite
• My Pikachu started eating paper clips, paint chips, pencils... When I asked her what's wrong, she said "Pica. Pica."
• I'm not very good with baking... ...so if I want a cake I have to get a piece of paper and a pencil so I can trace leches.
• What's the similarity between communism and a pencil? They both only really work on paper
• What did the paper say to the pencil? You've got a good point!
• Chuck Norris writes on pencils with paper.

Pencil Sharpener Jokes

Here is a list of funny pencil sharpener jokes and even better pencil sharpener puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Did you hear about the man who got depressed after he lost his favourite pencil sharpener? Everything seemed pointless!
• My friends are getting tire of me always talking about sharpening my pencil... ...but really, I'm just trying to make a point.
• If I put a cheddar cheese stick in a pencil sharpener Will it come out sharp or shredded?
• Where does a pencil sharpener keep its money? In a shavings account.
• What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Stop going in circles and get to the point.
• I was going to sharpen my pencil to take my test on nihilism.. But there was no point
• The pencil sharpeners at my school are racist. They have signs next to them that say No Colored Pencils .
• Why did the pencil throw himself into the sharpener? To make a point.
• Thank you, pencil sharpeners! For always making a good point.
• Why is the sharpener always invited to the pencil case debates? He always makes a good point and the pencils tend to very blunt when he's not around.

Pencil And Sharpener Jokes

Here is a list of funny pencil and sharpener jokes and even better pencil and sharpener puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What did Gepetto use for Pinocchio's circumcision? A pencil sharpener
• Pencils that aren't sharpened are ... Pointless.
• Why did the nihilist have to constantly sharpen his pencil? Because it had no point!
• what did the pencil sharpener say to the broken pencil.. that he should stop acting so littlepointed..
• I asked my friend for a sharpened pencil, but he didn't have one. I always knew he was a little dull...
• What Do You Call a Pencil Sharpener That Can't Sharpen Pencils? Broken.
• Did you hear about the argument between a pencil and a sharpener? The sharpener made a better point.
• Sharpening my pencil as waist height. My friend goes "Is it stuck?"
• What did the pessemistic blind person say while sharpening their pencil I don't see the point
• Why did the pencil sharpener cross the road? To make a point.

Pen Pencil Jokes

Here is a list of funny pen pencil jokes and even better pen pencil puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Where do pens and pencils go on vacation? Pennsylvania
• What happened when the pig pen broke? The pigs had to use a pencil.
• I believe pencils are superior to pens, especially for filling out crossword puzzles. Does that make me erasist?
• NASA spent 1.5mil on a pen that works in space. Russia putin a pencil.
• A pen and a pencil race. Who won? The Pencil. He lead from start to finish.
• What do these things have in common; chapstick, pencils, pens, hair ties, nail clippers, and socks? They all almost never lose a game of hide and seek.
• I have a pen. I have a apple. Uh! Apple-pen But Apple calls it Pencil.
• How come pens and pencils don't walk around?? Because they are stationary
• The biggest problem with my business selling pens and pencils..... Having stationery stock
• Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?"
  Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."

Pencil Case Jokes

Here is a list of funny pencil case jokes and even better pencil case puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Never bring a knife to a gun fight... Unless you're John Wick, in that case bring a pencil.
• Someone stole my pencil case off my desk and ran with it I guess it's no longer stationery
• what do a toddler and a case of new pencils have in common? They are both pointless.
• john wick walks into a bar Two red necks immediately get on his case,he turns to the barkeep and say's, can I borrow your pencil?

Uproarious Pencil Jokes to Share with Friends

What funny jokes about pencil you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sharpener jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pencil pranks.