Pencil And Paper Jokes
35 pencil and paper jokes and hilarious pencil and paper puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pencil and paper that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Pencil And Paper Short Jokes
Short pencil and paper jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pencil and paper humour may include short pencil jokes also.
- A man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper. He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
- What did the pencil say to the suspicious piece of paper? I dot my i's on you!
-Heard this from an 85 year old lady in a nursing facility. The mental image of this joke is quite funny! - A pencil stands face to face against his nemesis, Paper. Will our hero find the strength he needs to overcome his greatest foe?! 2B continued...
- Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problem out with a pencil and paper.
- Have you heard about the constipated math teacher? He worked the problem out with a pencil.
On a sheet of paper. - In art class, I saw my friend making a gradient from dark to light on his paper with his pencil today. "Hey, what are you doing?"
"Illustrating Fifty Shades of Grey..." - A participant in a duel showed up arned witha pencil and paper, He then proceeded to draw his weapon
- My Pikachu started eating paper clips, paint chips, pencils... When I asked her what's wrong, she said "Pica. Pica."
- I'm not very good with baking... ...so if I want a cake I have to get a piece of paper and a pencil so I can trace leches.
- p**... is a lot like math. When it's hard, sometimes you have to work it out with a pencil and paper.
Share These Pencil And Paper Jokes With Friends
Pencil And Paper One Liners
Which pencil and paper one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pencil and paper? I can suggest the ones about pencil and sharpener and graph paper.
- How do you write a paper with just your pencil? With a good point
- Why don't pencils and graph paper get along? Because they're made out of graphite
- What's the similarity between communism and a pencil? They both only really work on paper
- What did the paper say to the pencil? You've got a good point!
- Chuck Norris writes on pencils with paper.
- Why was the pencil s bad influence on the paper ? His darkness rubbed off on him
- What do you call a pencil that won't draw on colored paper? An erase-ist (e-racist).
- why wouldn't the black pencil write on the white paper? it was erase-ist
Pencil And Paper Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about pencil and paper you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pencil sharpener jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pencil and paper pranks.
My mom was watching TV when an Ad for an Alzheimer's medication cam on...
She says to me "Grab a pencil and paper and write down this medication in case i get Alzheimer's so you know what med to give me." I said "Mom don't be silly. You have already written it down five times"
Stock Market Report
Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remained unchanged.
The market for raisins dried up. Balloon prices were inflated. And toilet paper touched a new bottom.
Dean, to the physics department:
"Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn't you be like the math department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper."
The chancellor of the university is complaining to the dean of physics...
"We need to cut costs!" He says. "All this complex technology you guys use! Why can't you be more like the Maths department? All they need is pencils, paper and wastebaskets!"
"Better still," says the dean of physics, "we could be like the philosophy department. All they need is the pencils and paper."
Why is a university Philosophy Department always cheaper to fund than the Math Department?
The math department needs paper, pencils, and a wastebasket.
The philosophy department only needs paper and pencils.
Scientists are such a pain, they need so much expensive equipment. Mathemeticians on the other hand ...
They just need a pencil, a paper and a waste paper basket. Philosophers are even easier, they don't even need the waste paper basket.
Little Johnny is in class and his teacher is teaching about description. She reaches into a bag and feels around. She says "Sally, what I'm feeling something round and firm, what is it?"
Sally says "a ball" and teacher says "nope it's an orange". The teacher then reaches in and goes " what I'm feeling is smooth and flat and flexible, David, what is it?"David says"a piece of paper?" "No" goes the teacher "a piece of aluminum foil" Johnny stands up, reaches into his pocket and goes" teacher! I'm feeling something long hard with a firm pink tip, what am I feeling?" Teacher shouts"JOHNNY THAT'S DISGUSTING!" Johnny says" nope it's a pencil"
A couple had fight
A couple had fight and did not talk to each other. One day, because the husband had to wake up early the next morning, he needed his wife to wake him up around 4 am. But he did not want to talk to her first so he grabbed a paper and a pencil and wrote, "wake me up around 4. I have to get up early for my job."
The next morning, the husband was so furious because he woke up around 9. He was late because his wife did not wake her up. Then he saw a note at the table beside the bed, "wake up. It's 4."
Sorry for my bad english.
Engineer, Physicist and Mathematician
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are sleeping in their respective hotel rooms when a problem with the hotel's electrical system causes sparks to fly from the sockets and catch fire to the wastepaper basket.
The engineer wakes up from the alarm, sees what is going on and runs to the bathroom. He fills a bucket with water, which he throws onto the wastepaper basket. Relieved that the fire is out, he goes back to bed.
The physicist wakes up from the alarm and sees what is going on. He grabs a pad of paper and a pencil, and works out how much water he will need to put out the fire. He then goes to the bathroom and fills a bucket with the precise amount of water he needs (accounting for measurement error), and proceeds to put out the fire. He then goes back to bed.
The mathematician wakes up from the alarm and sees what is going on. He grabs a pad of paper and a pencil, and works out how much water he will need to put out the fire.
"Aha! A solution exists!" And he goes back to bed.
*Alternate ending*
Later that night the hotel's electrical system fails again, causing sparks to fly from the sockets and catch fire to the bed sheets. The mathematician wakes up, considers the fire, and then takes the still-burning sheets and puts them in the wastepaper basket.
"Aha! I've reduced the problem to a previously-solved form!" And he goes back to bed.