Pen Pencil Jokes

30 pen pencil jokes and hilarious pen pencil puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pen pencil that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Pen Pencil Short Jokes

Short pen pencil jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pen pencil humour may include short pencil jokes also.

  1. Why did Shakespeare always use a pen when writing? Because the pencil was confusing - 2B or not 2B
  2. I believe pencils are superior to pens, especially for filling out crossword puzzles. Does that make me erasist?
  3. What do these things have in common; chapstick, pencils, pens, hair ties, nail clippers, and socks? They all almost never lose a game of hide and seek.
  4. The biggest problem with my business selling pens and pencils..... Having stationery stock
  5. Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?"
    Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
  6. Doctor I swallowed a PEN!!! Doctor, Doctor I swallowed a PEN, WHAT DO I DO?
    Doctor: Use a pencil...

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Pen Pencil One Liners

Which pen pencil one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pen pencil? I can suggest the ones about pencil sharpener and ink pen.

  1. Where do pens and pencils go on vacation? Pennsylvania
  2. Where did the pen go for holiday? He went to pencil-vania
  3. What happened when the pig pen broke? The pigs had to use a pencil.
  4. NASA spent 1.5mil on a pen that works in space. Russia putin a pencil.
  5. A pen and a pencil race. Who won? The Pencil. He lead from start to finish.
  6. I have a pen. I have a apple. Uh! Apple-pen But Apple calls it Pencil.
  7. How come pens and pencils don't walk around?? Because they are stationary
  8. What did the pen say to the dull pencil? Nothing, it's pointless!
  9. Why did the pig ask to borrow a pencil? His pen ran out of oink.
  10. A pencil isn't as p**... as a pen is.

Witty Pen Pencil Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about pen pencil you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pencil and sharpener jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pen pencil pranks.

A man sees his dog chew up and s**... a pencil

Concerned, he immediately phones the vet.
"Doctor, my dog just chewed up and swallowed my pencil! What should i do?"
"Hmm...that sounds serious. You better bring him to me. I'll see you within a half hour."
"Yes, doctor, but what should I do in the meantime?"
"Use a pen."

Wanna hear an unfunny knock knock joke?

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Broken pencil!
Broken pencil who?
Broken pen... ah never mind, this joke has no point!
Yeah that wasn't very funny.
I found it.
Found what?
The point!

A man calls a doctor in a panic

"Doctor, doctor!" the man cries. "My son swallowed my pencil, and I don't know what to do!!"
"Now calm down," assured the doctor. "Tell me this: you have a *pen?*"


When the astronauts went into space they found out they could not write with a pen. So they spent millions of dollars and plenty of years developing a pen that would write in space....... The russians used a pencil

Lance Armstrong

I waited a whole semester to tell this joke to a bunch of engineers. My girlfriend at the time was an engineer and we would end up in the lab with friends all the time. Every now and then when they had to do hand drawn plans the conversational topic came up about mechanical pencils and pens and what drew really well, etc etc. So literally in the middle of the conversation I decide to add my two cents.
"Hey guys, you know if you're going to spend a bunch of money on nice pens and pencils you might as well support a charity."
Everyone bought into supporting a charity so on I went.
"Lance Armstrong just bought a pen company, and now all purchases contribute a percentage to support cancer research and the LIVESTRONG foundation."
And then someone asked "Which one?"
To which I replied "Uniball"