Peers Jokes
45 peers jokes and hilarious peers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about peers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Peers Short Jokes
Short peers jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The peers humour may include short mates jokes also.
- A reporter interviewed a 103-year-old woman. "And what is the best thing about being 103?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure." - What do you call a huge, angry, green man that cites all his arguments from peer reviewed journals? The credible hulk
- A man takes his shoe off in church... Man 1: *takes off shoe and starts peering inside of it*
Man 2: "What the problem?"
Man 1: *Sighs* " I guess i'm just having some problems with my inner-sole " - A reporter was interviewing a 104 year old woman. "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?", the reporter asks.
She simply answers, "No peer pressure." - I was going to tell you a joke about peer pressure... ...but my friends talked me out of it.
- A priest and a rabbi walk by a junior high school... The priest peers inside and says "Hey. Let's go inside and screw some little boys."
The rabbi responds "Out of what?" - Not caving into peer pressure can be tough but i always walk away from it. Which has been a lot easier since the DUI i got the night everyone tried to convince me to 'take a cab home'.
- What do you call it when you can't urinate because you feel the presence of others around you? Peer pressure.
- I came up with a great science joke, but the scientists didn't take it seriously enough to laugh at. They told me it hadn't been peer reviewed.
- Did you hear about the pornstar in court that was tried by a group of his peers? They had a hung jury.
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Peers One Liners
Which peers one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with peers? I can suggest the ones about school friends and colleague.
- What's the best part about being 100 years old? No peer pressure.
- I never really used to enjoy peer pressure But then my friends got me into it.
- I don't believe in peer pressure. Unless my friends do...
- Hipster peer pressure... C'mon, no one else is doing it.
- How does every Russian joke start? *peers over shoulder*
- Don't succumb to peer pressure. . . . . . . Remember, none of your friends do.
- Why was Ash Ketchum peering through your living room curtains? To catch a Peek-at-you
- What does the poet do when he's frustrated with his fellow student? Shakes peer.
- Why did the pressure cooker jump off the pier? Peer pressure!
- How does a quadriplegic swimmer handle peer pressure? He just goes with the flow.
- I wanted to catch up in life to my peers this year... I guess I got what I wished for.
- You know you're old when...... you can pronounce the names of your black peers.
- It's not peer pressure, it's just your turn.
- Why did the urologist lose his license? He got in trouble with his peers
- I used to hate peer pressure, but my friends got me into it.
Great Peers Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about peers you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean peer pressure jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make peers pranks.
An Italian soldier wakes up in a hospital having been dragged out of the battle.
The doctor walks in and tells the soldier, "I'm sorry to inform you that both your arms and legs we're blown off in the heat of the fight".
The war hero starts to crying like a baby. The doctor peers round at his wife and asks, "do you think he'll be OK?"
She replies, "Would you be OK if you could never talk again?"
Mother Russia
In Soviet Russia, if you arrive to work late, you're shot for being lazy and leeching off the work of your peers.
If you arrive to work early, you are shot for trying to show up the work of peers and appear better than them.
If you arrive to work on time, you are shot for having a foreign watch.
Big Bird walks into a bar
Big Bird walks into a gritty bar off Sesame Street and sits all alone and orders a beer. "Sometimes I just feel left out by all my peers. You know, all alone," he complains to the bartender. "I guess I just feel ostrich sized."
A man goes for a walk...
and as he walks he approaches the local mental institution, on the other side of the wall he can hear the patients chanting "3! 3! 3! 3!". His curiosity has been piqued by all the commotion coming from within so he decides to take a glimpse through a hole he sees in the wall, as he bends down and peers through the wall silence falls over the yard and a long stick gets shoved through the hole and pokes him in the eye
"4! 4! 4! 4! 4!"
Herschel Walker made a speech in front of his GOP peers a day after the debate..
"They said I can't speak good on stage without a prompter" he said.
"But whose laughing now question mark Ha comma ha comma ha"
Ron Jeremy was arrested for s**... assault
Because Ron Jeremy is 67 years old, Prosecutors are worried the evidence won't stand up in court.
Further, Ron Jeremy is entitled to a jury of his peers. Prosecutors are afraid it will be a hung jury.
An intern recently started working for an IT programming firm.
Everyday he went into work he was always harassed by his peers, they kept saying he was never being true always being false.
#
So I had to step in, I couldn't let them
keep Boolean him.
When I'm a dad, I want to call my child "Welcome".
So that when they ask me "Dad, why did you give me such a terrible name? All my peers bully me, and it's making my life miserable." I can tell them "You're Welcome."
A group of passengers are riding the bus to work…
Suddenly, the engine splutters and the bus grinds to a halt at the side of the road. The driver gets out, opens the engine compartment, and peers inside, cursing and swearing.
After a while the passengers get restless. A woman pulls a small toolkit out of her purse, gets up and goes outside, and sees the driver frantically trying to reattach a loose electrical cable with his fingers.
Would you like a screwdriver, she asks.
I'd love one, he replies, but we're ten minutes late already !
The Truth About My Jokes
It has recently been brought to my attention that many of the jokes I tell my friends, family and peers can be classified as 'Dad jokes.' Moreover, it turns out that most of the people I share these with don't actually enjoy them, they've just given up on me stopping at this point.
Two things: First, I'm not a father, so I don't think that label quite qualifies. However, second, if we grant that it does, considering the negative response towards my jokes.
Are they faux pas?
Please settle an argument regarding this joke: why is it funny?
>What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
>30 pounds.
This joke has been the source of debate among my peers. I know I'm right, but I need evidence/validation. Why is this joke funny? What is the punch line implying?
----
Confessions of a newly wed.
On the first night of their honeymoon, the husband isn't sure how to tell his bride about his stinky feet and smelly socks, while the wife is wondering how to break the news to him about her awful breath, which so far, she's been able to cover up.
After some soul-searching, the husband gathers his nerve and says, I have a confession.
She draws closer, peers into his eyes, and says, Darling, so do I.
Recoiling, he says, Don't tell me - you've eaten my socks.
The President-Elect has recently begun learning how to play bridge with the help of master bridge players. it turns out, the President-Elect's plays are far superior to those of his peers. In other words...
Trump's trumps trump Trump's trumps' trumps.
A young man approaches a fisherman standing in the river...
He waves to the fisherman and says, "Wow, great pole you've got there!"
The fisherman smiles, gives a slight nod, and says, "thank you!"
\- "And man, that's some of the coolest tackle I've ever seen!"
Smile, nod, "thank you!"
"Some high-quality bait, too."
Big smile... "thank you!"
The young man peers down into the river... "you know, the fish don't really come through here this time of year..."
The fisherman: "Yeah, I know."
\- "Well, what are you fishing for?"
The fisherman shrugs, "Compliments."
What do you call two guys using the same u**...?
Peers
A man is strolling past an insane asylum when..
When he hears a loud chanting.
Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen! goes the noise form within the mental hospital's wards.
The man's curiosity gets the better of him and he searches for a hole in the security fence. It's not long before he finds a small crack, so he leans forward and peers in.
Instantly, something jabs him in the eye.
As he reels back in agony, the chanting continues: Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!
"♪ ♫ He sees you when you're sleeping He knows when you're awake... ♪, ♫"
Which is why Santa Clause was arrested and convicted for aggravated stalking and unlawful breaking and entering by a jury of his peers in a court of law.
A cowboy peers down the pit of an outhouse...
He sees an Indian standing at the bottom.
He asks, "How long have you been down there?"
The Indian replies: "Many moons."
What do you call a urologist who accidentally dumps his entire practice's supply of Flomax down the drain?
In trouble with his peers.
I want to make a film about a group of friends dealing with their classmate becoming a pop star.
Britney's Peers
My dad jokes are awful and I'm not even a dad.
It seems that I'm father along than my peers.
Two doctors are talking in a gynecology ward.
One of them says to the other, "I think it's spelled W-O-O-M. Woom."
The second on says, "No, I'm sure it's W-H-O-O-M. Whoom."
The first says, "Actually, I think it's "W-O-O-O-H-M. WOOOHM."
A nurse peers around the corner and says, "Excuse me, it's actually spelled W-O-M-B. w**...." She then walks away, appalled at these men who call themselves doctors.
Then the first doctor looks at the second and tells him, "She's probably never even seen a hippopotamus, let alone heard it f**...."
A man goes to a diner
A guy goes to a diner and orders a burger, the burger comes, he takes a bite and immediately recoils in disgust. He calls the waiter over and says
"sir there is a hair in my burger!"
The waiter says "sir that's just they way are made."
"What do you mean?" Asks the guy.
"Here look" the waiter says waving the guy over to the order window. As the guy peers thru he can see the chef taking wads of ground beef and crushing them in his armpit.
"That's disgusting!" Exclaims the man.
"Well if you think that's g**... you should see how he shapes the donuts."
Tom Hanks walks into WB studios
Tom Hanks walks into the WB studios and enters one of the many conference rooms.
As he sits down for the read -through, he notices his fellow peers sitting at the table Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill's mustache, Gal Gadot and a couple of other people he was he was only vaguely familiar with. He picks up the script, looks at the first page and throws it back down on the table.
He throws his hands up and says, "I'd like a word with the director please. "
At this point, Zak Snyder steps out with him and asks, "What's the problem,Tom?".
Tom just looks at him and says, " I can't be in a movie with these guys, they're in a league of their own."
