Peering Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Jesus

One day, a cop was driving along when a car just whizzed past him. He turns on his siren and chases him down. Once the cop finally pulls over the car, he walks up and sees Pastor Brown, the pastor at his town's church. Upon peering into Pastor Brown's car he notices a suspicious bottle. The cop says "Pastor, what's in that bottle?"
To which the Pastor replies "Just water, officer."
So the cop, being a cop, takes a sip of the liquid to see if he's lying or not. But it's not water...it's wine!
So the cop says "Hey this is wine!"
And the pastor replies "Oh Jesus must be at it again!"

A man takes his shoe off in church...

Man 1: *takes off shoe and starts peering inside of it*

Man 2: "What the problem?"

Man 1: *Sighs* " I guess i'm just having some problems with my inner-sole "

A boy is looking over a tall cliff...

A young boy is peering down a high cliff when an old man walks over. The old man says "Hey its dangerous up here, where are your parents?". The boy tearfully replies "my mom just fell off the cliff". The old man horrified asks "Where is your father?". This time the boy falls to his knees and cries "He fell trying to save her". The old man unzips his pants and says "Sorry kid, today just isn't your day".

An act of Kindness....

A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world.

The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity.

He called them into his shop and said, "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer."

He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel.

They, as expected, gladly accepted the offer, and were on their way.

About a month later the little lady came in to his shop."And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly.

"The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you.

But, one thing puzzled me.


"Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?"

An old Chinese lady goes to see the eye doctor...

The optometrist gives her the regular eye exam then proceeds to do a few more tests because of her advanced age. After peering through one of his instruments into her eyes, he says "Well ma'am, I'm sorry to tell you this, but you've got cataracts." To which the Chinese woman replied, "No cataracts, I drive a Rincoln."

Wives seem to love this one

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news:

"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.

She took a few deep breaths to compose herself and to stop her mind racing. She simply had to know.

She met the Fortune Teller's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"

3 guys in a nudist colony...

...a politician, a general, and an esteemed professor. They're happily enjoying their 'air bath' when they notice a photographer from a newspaper peering over the fence trying to get an embarrassing photo of them.
The politician and the general both immediately cover their genitals but the professor covers his face, the other two notice this and ask him, "what are you doing?" To which he replies, "I'm fairly certain I'm more recognizable for my facial features than my genitals.

That's my beaver.

Little Johnny happened to wander into the guest bathroom one morning and noticed his grandmother taking a shower. After a moment of peering through the glass shower door, Johnny asked, "Grandma, what's that?" Startled, his grandmother replied, "That's my beaver. Now, run along and give me some privacy." Satisfied with her answer, Johnny ran off to play elsewhere. Several days later, Johnny wandered into his parents' bathroom where he witnessed his mother showering this time. Johnny pointed at his mother's crotch and declared, "Mommy, I know what that is!" His mother decided to humor the young lad. "Oh really, Johnny? What do you think it is?" "That's your beaver, mommy. Grandma has one too but hers is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."

What are the funniest peering jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Peering? Well, here are the best Peering puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Peering pick up lines to share with friends.

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