Peels Jokes
26 peels jokes and hilarious peels puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about peels that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Peels Short Jokes
Short peels jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The peels humour may include short peeling jokes also.
- I couldn't find the thingy that peels potatoes and carrots, so I asked my kids if they'd seen it... Apparently, she left me two days ago...
- What's the difference between a pizza and a hippy chick? You don't peel the crust off the pizza before you eat it
- I couldn't find the thingy that peels the potatoes and the carrots, so I asked the kids... Apparently she left me two days ago.
- My wife just told me that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I believe her, banana are much easier to peel.
- My 4 year old is a comedian and loves jokes.. this is her favorite one... Why did the banana go to the hospital?
Because he wasn't peeling very well. - I spent an hour looking for that thing that peels the potatoes and carrots. Then I realised she's at work.
- Did you hear about the guy who slipped on a banana and sued? He won the trial, but he got overturned on a peel.
- A blonde is walking down the street and sees a banana peel 10 ft in front of her She says to herself "Oh no not again."
- Why did the orange go to the doctor? Because she wasn't peeling very well...
All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here - How much time goes by between when you slip on a banana peel and when you hit the ground? A bananosecond.
Share These Peels Jokes With Friends
Peels One Liners
Which peels one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with peels? I can suggest the ones about peeling skin and peel banana.
- why do i love bananas so much? they have a peel
- What do you call 2 banana peels? A pair of slippers
- Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them, they die.
- Dad, where's the thing for peeling potatoes? She went shopping.
- Why are Spiderman stickers the stickiest? They don't peel so good.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling well.
- Why don't old men like old women? Ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
- Q: What did the banana say to the doctor?
A: "I'm not peeling well." - Why did the banana go to the doctor's office? He wasn't peeling well.
- The ailing banana went to the doctor He wasn't peeling well.
- Humans are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them, they die.
- Where did the two bananas settle their legal dispute? The court of A-peels
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he was not peeling well.
- Why did the banana put on sunscreen? Because it peels!
- Why do bananas have bruises? Because their peelings got hurt
Heartwarming Peels Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about peels you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean orange peel jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make peels pranks.
Dad peels banana...
When i was six or so my dad started this routine every time he ate a banana...
Dad:
peels the first s**... of the banana peel...
"One skin"
Peels the second s**......
"Two skin"
"Three skin"
"Five skin"
Me: "What happened to the Four skin"
Dad: "Jewish banana"
I was twelve and I finally figured it out....
An abstinent blonde and her boyfriend...
An abstinent blonde and her boyfriend are about to celebrate their one year anniversary. She wants to do something special for him that night, and decides that she wants to go down on him, but alas has no experience. She asks her friend for advice, who then hands her a banana and says "Here, practice with this."
Sure enough, the blonde girls peels the banana and goes to town on it like a d**... professional. Her friend says "See, you're doing great! Don't change a thing!"
The next day the blonde's friend calls her up, eager to hear how everything went. "How did everything go?" She asks.
The blonde says "Pretty great. Didn't know there would be that much screaming and blood though."
"Blood?" Her friend asks, "Where did the blood come from?"
"The peeling."
A black person is walking down the road...
When all of a sudden he peels over with a massive throbbing pain in his heart. He grabs his chest and screams in pain. A man sees this and runs to his aid.
"Sir, listen to me, you are going into cardiac arrest." the helpful citizen says.
"But I didn't even do nothing!"
Did you hear about the guy who had s**... with his sister in a pile of lemon peels?
It was in zest
You know the scene, balding dude in a convertible with a h**....
She peels off her top and says "Faster you go, the more i take off!"
She's down to her socks and he's doing 120 mph when they c**.... Dazed and confused she finds the driver pinned in the car and goes for help, but all she can find to cover her bits is his shoe.
Stumbling out into the highway she manages to pull someone over "Help, my friend is stuck!" She screams. The guy looks down at the shoe and says "Ma'am, he's too far in for me to help"
Punny (mid-long, kid friendly)
A string.
Yes, a string.
A string takes a seat at a bar and orders.
Bartender: you a string?
String: …yeah…
Bartender: we don't serve strings here
Defeated, the string leaves.
Outside, he peels back some of his ends and twists the filaments around and through one-another.
He goes back.
Has a seat…
Bartender: we don't serve strings here, ARE YOU A STRING?!?
String: I'm a frayed knot.
