Peel Jokes
89 peel jokes and hilarious peel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about peel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Love a good pun? These peel jokes use puns related to banana and orange peels to get a laugh. Whether you're looking to pare away the seriousness of a conversation or just exfoliate the moment, these tongue-in-cheek jokes are just what you need.
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Funniest Peel Short Jokes
Short peel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The peel humour may include short pepper jokes also.
- I couldn't find the thingy that peels potatoes and carrots, so I asked my kids if they'd seen it... Apparently, she left me two days ago...
- What's the difference between a pizza and a hippy chick? You don't peel the crust off the pizza before you eat it
- I couldn't find the thingy that peels the potatoes and the carrots, so I asked the kids... Apparently she left me two days ago.
- My wife just told me that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I believe her, banana are much easier to peel.
- My 4 year old is a comedian and loves jokes.. this is her favorite one... Why did the banana go to the hospital?
Because he wasn't peeling very well. - I spent an hour looking for that thing that peels the potatoes and carrots. Then I realised she's at work.
- Did you hear about the guy who slipped on a banana and sued? He won the trial, but he got overturned on a peel.
- A blonde is walking down the street and sees a banana peel 10 ft in front of her She says to herself "Oh no not again."
- Why did the orange go to the doctor? Because she wasn't peeling very well...
All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here - How much time goes by between when you slip on a banana peel and when you hit the ground? A bananosecond.
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Peel One Liners
Which peel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with peel? I can suggest the ones about scrape and pear.
- why do i love bananas so much? they have a peel
- What do you call 2 banana peels? A pair of slippers
- Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them, they die.
- Dad, where's the thing for peeling potatoes? She went shopping.
- Why are Spiderman stickers the stickiest? They don't peel so good.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling well.
- Why don't old men like old women? Ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
- Q: What did the banana say to the doctor?
A: "I'm not peeling well." - Why did the banana go to the doctor's office? He wasn't peeling well.
- The ailing banana went to the doctor He wasn't peeling well.
- Humans are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them, they die.
- Where did the two bananas settle their legal dispute? The court of A-peels
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he was not peeling well.
- Why did the banana put on sunscreen? Because it peels!
- Why do bananas have bruises? Because their peelings got hurt
Banana Peel Jokes
Here is a list of funny banana peel jokes and even better banana peel puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? He wasn't peeling well.
Why did the pig go to the pharmacy? He needed some oinkment. - What happened in the theater in Princeton when someone put a banana peel in the aisle in front of the doctor? The Fall of the Usher of House
- What did Tony Abbott (Prime minister of Australia) do with the half-eaten banana? He re-peeled it.
- Why should a banana go to the doctor? He doesnt peel well.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn't peeling well
- Why did the banana go to see the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling very well.
- Why didn't the filipino banana go to work today? He wasn't peeling well.
- first grade level joke why did the banana put on sun screen?
answer: so it wouldn't peel! - What did one banana say to another banana? I find you a-peeling
- Personally, I don't like bananas. But I can understand the, uh, peel.
Orange Peel Jokes
Here is a list of funny orange peel jokes and even better orange peel puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a haunted orange peel? Po-zest
- What can't Mike Tyson peel oranges? He gets pithed off.
- What does a sick-orange say to a ripe orange? "I dont peel so well"
- After you peel an orange... ...you get to enjoy the fruit of your labor.
- What's the difference between a baby and an orange? You peel the skin off the orange before you eat it.
- Why did the orange go to the doctor? He wasn't peeling good.
- Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.
- A friend of mine succeeded to peel an orange perfectly It was an apeeling sight.
- Doctor says I have to stop eating the skin of oranges That was a bitter peel to s**...
- What did the orange say to the banana? You look very a-peeling.
Just kidding. You look o*K*.
**The banana, like many of the people reading this, was not amused.**
Peel Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about peel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wipe jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make peel pranks.
A blonde is walking
She notices a banana peel a few steps away.
She sighs "oh no, I'm gonna fall again!".
What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?
A bananosecond
Aren't dad jokes great?
I got a bad sunburn a week ago, and my skin is staring to peel of.I guess you could say that it's.....appealing
Why couldn't the banana get a date?
It didn't have a peel.
How many Blondes does it take to bake chocolate chip cookies?
10....one to bake the cookies, and 9 to peel the M&Ms
You know what I like about zest?
I dunno, it just has some kind of a peel.
A dyslexic Sanders supporter was kicked out of the botanical gardens
He kept trying to peel the ferns.
What's the difference between friends and potatoes?
Potatoes don't scream when you peel their skin and toss them in boiling water.
Past& Sees Her.
Susie is a p**... who doesn't want her gran to know. One day Police raid the brothel & line up the girls outside.The gran walks past& sees her.Quick thinking Susie tells her its a queue for free oranges, so her gran joins the queue. When the Police get to gran, they're surprised& ask her 'how do u do it at your age?'she replies ,I take my teeth out, peel back the skin& s**... 'em until they're dry.
What do you do when you're sunburned?
Make like a banana and peel.
How many idiots does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
Twelve - one to make the dough and eleven to peel the smarties.
Why don't women wear skirts in the winter?
Ever try and peel apart a cold grilled cheese sandwich?
How many dancers does it take to peel a carrot?
five...six...seven...eight! (from 'Cooks vs. Cons')
When life gives you lemons...
Peel one of the lemons in front of the others... You know, to send a message.
Women with too much make up are like onions
When you start to peel off the superficial layers, you begin to cry!
Why do bananas need to use sunscreen?
cuz they peel.
How do you peel a banana?
1. Get banana sunburned. Banana will soon begin to peel.
2. Scare banana. Grab skin when it jumps out of it.
3. Hypnotize banana. Tell banana it is a snake. Banana will shed skin.
4. Call banana yellow. Banana will want to fight. Will remove jacket.
What did the therapist ask the banana after it walked into his office?
How do you peel?
How did the banana get out of jail?
On a peel
Dad peels banana...
When i was six or so my dad started this routine every time he ate a banana...
Dad:
peels the first s**... of the banana peel...
"One skin"
Peels the second s**......
"Two skin"
"Three skin"
"Five skin"
Me: "What happened to the Four skin"
Dad: "Jewish banana"
I was twelve and I finally figured it out....
Why is the banana a bad PVPer?
He's gotta peel!!!
How long does it take for someone to hit the ground after slipping on a banana peel?
1 bananosecond.
I bought ten bananas and began peeling each one as perfectly as I could. After finishing the seventh banana and beginning the next, I realised I had missed a small piece of the peel, just near the top. So being a total perfectionist I stuck the peel back on and did it again ...
Yes folks, it seems I just re\-peeled the eighth.
My girlfriend wanted a favor from me
Her: I want you to kill my ex and make it seem like an accident
Me: Say no more
LATER
Detective: It looks like the killer beat him to death and then placed a banana peel by his feet
A Two-Fer: How is an onion different from a baby?
Answer 1: Onions don't scream when you peel off their skin.
Answer 2: I tear up a little bit when I'm chopping up onions.
Couldnt find it
I couldn't find the thingy you use to peel the carrots and potatoes anywhere, so I asked the kids if they had seen it.
Apparently she left me yesterday.
A farmer trained his rooster to peel the husks off of corn
What a c**...-shucker
Why don't blondes eat M&M's?
They're too hard to peel.
Does anyone know how to easily peel a kiwi?
All those feathers keep getting in the way
I was selling lemons the other day outside my house
And a man came up to me and asked can I just buy the peel?
I was surprised by this and stared him dead in the eyes before I said are you taking the pith?
My wife left me because every tangerine I bought had exactly five slices
She said I didn't have six a peel.
What do you call banana peel shoes?
Slippers.
How do you eat a banana?
*Peel back the f**...*
I spent the last year learning mandarin
Now I peel real fast
I just learned from a LPT that if you peel a banana from the bottom all those tasteless fibery strands come off with the peel. Since it works so well I asked my kids if they wanted a banana...
No strings attached
A few bananas are planning a heist
Right before they leap into action, they decide to run through the process again so all bananas know what they're doing.
Firstly, two bananas will be creating a distraction a distance away from the heist. Then, the rest of the bananas will scatter to confuse the enemy and start the heist.
After going through the process a few more times, the bananas are certain that they know what to do, and thus a couple bananas peel off and the rest of the bananas split.
A lion notices a monkey by a river, dipping a banana peel into the water
He watches her for a few minutes, as she dips the peel, keeps it under water, and then takes it out, watches the water a bit, repeats. Finally, the lion gives up trying to make sense of the sequence.
"Hey, monkey"
"Hey, lion"
"What in the world are you doing?"
"Ten bucks and I will explain"
The lion pays her.
"Thanks. I'm dipping a banana peel in the water"
"w**..., monkey? You're the biggest idiot I've ever seen!"
"Sure, I'm an idiot, but I'm making $40 an hour."
