Pee Your Pants Jokes
34 pee your pants jokes and hilarious pee your pants puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pee your pants that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Pee Your Pants Short Jokes
Short pee your pants jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pee your pants humour may include short peeing your pants jokes also.
- Happiness is like peeing in your pants Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth
- I used to pee my pants every time i had to talk in front of my 3rd grade class It really killed my teaching career.
- Friendship... Is like peeing your pants. Everyone around you can see it but only you can feel the warmth it brings.
- I tried to convince my six year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally pee in your pants. But he's not believing it and still making fun of me.
- Having a good friend is just like peeing your pants. Everybody can see it but only you feel that warm sensation of happiness.
- I tried to teach my son that it's normal to pee in your pants. But he still teases me about it.
- A dyslexic person peeing his pants would spell certain doom. His urination spells his ruination.
- Being in love is like peeing your pants: everybody sees it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
- It's not true that if you die in your dreams, you die in real life. However, if you pee your pants in your dreams...
- Being married is like peeing in your pants... At first it's nice and hot, but then it just gets sloppy and uncomfortable.
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Pee Your Pants One Liners
Which pee your pants one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pee your pants? I can suggest the ones about peeing pants and pooping pants.
- Happiness is like peeing in your pants.... I haven't experienced it since I was eight.
- Kissing is like peeing your pants Everyone can see it but only you can feel the heat
- What pants are the safest. Jeans. They require a 2 step verification process to pee.
Hilarious Pee Your Pants Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about pee your pants you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean peeing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pee your pants pranks.
A father is teaching his boy how to pee in the toilet.
"OK son", he says. It's as easy as counting to 5.
1. Pull down your pants.
2. Pull back your f**....
3. Pee in the toilet.
4. Put your f**... back.
5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4".
THE STAGES OF SUCCESS
At age 4 success is...not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is...having friends.
At age 16 success is...having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is...having s**....
At age 35 success is...having money.
At age 50 success is...having money.
At age 60 success is...having s**....
At age 70 success is...having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is...having friends.
At age 80 success is...not peeing in your pants
p**... Training
Little Johnny was just being p**... trained and his mom tried this new method with 6 steps:
1. Unbutton pants
2. Pull pants down
3. Pull f**... back
4. Pee
5. Push f**... forward
6. Pull pants up and button up
She walked past the bathroom one day and heard Johnny going 1,2,3,4,5,6 and she was thinking she did a good job.
Then she walked past the next day and heard him saying real fast 3-5,3-5,3-5...
At age 4, success means not peeing in your pants
At age 12, success means having friends
At age 17, success means having a driver's licence
At age 25, success means having s**...
At age 35, success means having money
At age 45, success means having money
At age 55, success means having s**...
At age 65, success means having a driver's licence
At age 75, success means having friends
At age 85, success means not peeing in your pants.
The definition of success is different for different ages
5 year old-Not peeing in your pants at night
12 years old-Having a lot friends
16 years old-Being able to drive
20 years old-Having a lot of s**...
34 years old-Having a lot of money
54 years old-Having a lot of s**...
65 years old-Being able to drive
70 years old-Having a lot of friends
75 years old-Not peeing in your pants at night
A man was peeing in the park
A man was peeing in the park and then a policeman came by.
"Please stop what you're doing and put it back in your pants" he said.
The scared man hid his d**... and went back to his friends.
"Oh man, I've tricked that policeman." said the man "I've put it back in my pants but I haven't stopped what I was doing"
When Little Johnny grew out of diapers, his dad had to teach him how to pee like a man...
"Listen here, son, this is how you do it," says Daddy.
1. Unzip your pants
2. Pull out your equipment
3. Pull back your f**...
4. Relax the muscle that's holding in the pee
5. Push back your f**...
6. Put your equipment back,
7. Zip back up.
Later that day Johnny's sister, Little Jane, runs up to her dad exasperated. "Daddy, Daddy! Johnny's hogging the bathroom!" "That's fine," responds Daddy, "he's learning how to pee like a man." "No he's not!" yells Jane. "He's just in there shouting, 'Three, five, three, five, three, five..."
A ship's captain is running accross the deck....
He gets to the back overlooking the sea and starts undoing his pants. One of the crew sees this and asks him: "what in God's name are you doing sir?". The captain turns his head and says "I aft to pee".
Two dogs are running through the desert
One turns to the other and says
"if we don't find a tree soon, I'm going to pee my pants"
A little girl at school was being told off by her teacher for peeing her pants, Teacher said Daisy why didn't you put your hand up? Daisy replied I did miss.
But it trickled through my fingers.
What would happen if politicians pants caught fire whenever they lied?
Nothing. They'd be back in business after peeing they're pants for getting caught cheating too.
Hate shaking it off after peeing then putting it back in my pants still makes it dribble down my leg ...
... wish I could say a punch line but it's 40 y/o facts
The actor who played Pee Wee Herman, Paul Reubens, has decided to start his own dry cleaning service.
It's called Drop Your Pants and Jacket Off
Colin meets a g**... the street. He says, "Come on, babe, let's go in the alleyway and get it on. I've got fifteen bucks." She says, "FIFTEEN bucks? You're crazy. For fifteen bucks, I'll let you LOOK at it."
They go into the alleyway, she pulls down her pants, and he gets down on his knees. It's so dark he can't see anything so he gets out his lighter. He lights his lighter, and he says, "My God, your p**... hair... it's so curly and thick... it's BEAUTIFUL."
She says, "Thank you." He says, "You mind if I ask you a personal question?" She says, "Go ahead." He says, "Can you pee through all that hair?" She says, "Of course." He says, "Well, you better start. You're on fire."
An American and a Russian are arguing about who had more freedom back in the old days of communism.
The American says that if he wanted he could pee in front of the Statue of Liberty with no repercussions.
The Russian says that he could go to Red Square, drop his pants and take a dump right in front everybody with no problem.
After more than a few vodkas, the American admits that he exaggerated. He would have to sneak behind the Statue of Liberty at 3am to do his business.
The Russian admits that if he were to take a dump in Red Square, he'd have to do it with his pants up.
A Jewish man walks into a bathroom.
He unzips his pants and proceeds to pee into a u**.... The man peeing next to him taps him on the shoulder and says hey David! did you have Doctor Goldstein as your Mohel? The man turns his head and replies yes! How did you know? The other man just looks down at the ground and says he's cross eyed and you're peeing on my leg.
This joke has been passed down through my very Jewish family for a few generations and It's my go to. A Mohel is the Jewish doctor who performs circumcisions for the uninformed.
Success means different things at different times of life
At age 4, success means not peeing in your pants.
At age 12, success means having friends.
At age 17, success means having a driver's license.
At age 25, success means having s**....
At age 35, success means having money.
At age 45, success means having money.
At age 55, success means having s**....
At age 65, success means having a driver's license.
At age 75, success means having friends.
At age 85, success means not peeing in your pants.
What do a bass guitar solo and peeing your pants have in common?
It's quiet and embarrassing.
