Gather Around for Fun Pedestrians Jokes and Laughter with Friends
A Paladin takes his car to a mechanic
A Paladin takes his car to a mechanic. "Whenever I'm driving, I get these strange urges to run over pedestrians."
The mechanic has a look under the car. "Your alignment is off."
Mom takes her sick daughter to the doctor.
The doctor asks the girl, "How old are you?"
Girl: "I will be 7 in two days."
Doctor: "Aww, look how optimistic we are."
--------------------------------------------------------
Totally unrelated joke
Son: "Dad, can I cross the street when the red light for pedestrians is on?"
Dad: "Yes, but make sure your arms are up in the air over your head."
Son: "Why is that?"
Dad: "Because it will be easier to t**... shirt in the morgue".
Why did the Muslim run over the pedestrians during Ramadan?
He couldn't brake fast
An old lady gets into a taxi
An old lady gets into a taxi (they're usually mostly Mercs here in Germany) and asks, what that star is for. The taxi driver jokingly replies
"That's a crosshair. I need it to aim for pedestrians."
A few minutes into the drive, a pedestrian ran onto the street and the taxi driver barely managed to evade him when he suddenly hears a clunk from the back. When he turns his head he sees the old lady grinning
"If I hadn't opened my door, we wouldn't have got him!"
The last time we had a white Christmas, I made snow angels.
I skidded on the ice and took out three pedestrians.
I was stopped at a traffic light, and among the pedestrians crossing was my ex.
And I thought, "I'd hit that."
You know what I miss?
Pedestrians, about 90% of the time.
Elon Musk has only owned Twitter for one day...
and it's already ran over 2 pedestrians.
I heard over the radio there was a maniac on the loose!
I got so scared I almost missed the pedestrians!
"I got her!''
A drunk old man gets into a taxi Mercedes E Class. After a short time, he asks, "Why do Mercedes cars have that on their bonnet?"
The driver jokingly replies, "It is there so I could aim pedestrians."
He accelerates sharply, narrowly missing out an old lady which was passing the street. After that, he heard a massive thump.
"What the b**... h**... was that??" the driver asked
The drunk man replies, "You missed her, I got her with my door".
A rookie cop is at an intersection.
While he's at the red light, he sees a street sign that reads: WATCH FOR PEDESTRIANS
A few seconds later he notices a lady walking across the street along the zebra crossing. He honks his horn to stop her, rolls down his window and asks: Ma'am, are you a pedestrian?
The woman, confused at the purpose of the cop's question, replies yes, officer.
The cop proceeds to take out his pen and notepad and promptly asks So, which part of Pedestria are you from?
You can explore pedestrians swerve reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean pedestrians pavement dad jokes. There are also pedestrians puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I made three snow angels the other day.
I skidded on the ice and took out three pedestrians.
I made snow angels this Christmas...
My car skidded on the ice and I hit 3 pedestrians.
What do you call a video of pedestrians?
Footage
A drunk guy is driving around Paris...
He keeps crashing into everything, and almost kills several pedestrians. Eventually, he's about to cross a bridge, but he doesn't make it, and instead plunges his car into the water below. However, the guy doesn't seem to care, as he tries to keep driving.
A nearby ship: "What the heck is wrong with that driver?"
The car: "I don't know, but he's driving me in Seine!"
Grand Theft Auto 6 just announced. Already criticized for displaying "excessive and gratuitous violence towards pedestrians".
Apparently your character is just a normal on-duty cop.
Traffic in New York is terrible. After a while though, most of the pedestrians get across...
The Jews get a star
Last winter, I made snow angels
I lost control and took out three pedestrians
So they have warning signs for drivers to look out for pedestrians on their cell phone now.
Put up warning signs for pedestrians that the driver might be looking at their cellphone. Problem solved
