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Pears Jokes

62 pears jokes and hilarious pears puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pears that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Pears Short Jokes

Short pears jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pears humour may include short apple and pear jokes also.

  1. Gave my daughter an apple for breakfast this morning 🍎 She said she only likes pears!
    So I gave her another apple. 🍎🍎
  2. Coolio died today. He was shocked when he got to the Pearly Gates and realized It was indeed an Amish paradise.
  3. I walked into my boss's office and handed him a pear... "What's this for? he asked.
    I replied, "A raise. My wife told me to grow it first and then ask you."
  4. A farmer just burst into tears because nobody likes eating his apples anymore... I told him to grow a pear.
  5. I gave my friend an apple, and he told me he preferred pears. So I gave him another apple.
  6. My dad always thought I wasn't man enough to become a fruit farmer... ... I proved him wrong by growing a pear.
  7. I owe my success as a fruit farmer to my dear dad. Whenever I felt scared as a kid, he always told me to grow a pear
  8. Grant Imahara walks up to the pearly gates... As he looks around, confused, a booming voice speaks to him across the clouds...
    ...Myth confirmed.
  9. Fruitiphile You've got to be careful if you find one fruitiphile, because they normally come in pears
  10. What do you call two apples next to each other? A pear.

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Pears One Liners

Which pears one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pears? I can suggest the ones about peach and pearly.

  1. My friend handed me a peach. I told him I prefer pears. So he handed me another one.
  2. I told my neighbor I was too scared to grow an apple tree. He said grow a pear.
  3. Apple farmers who are too scared to diversify should just grow a pear.
  4. A programmer dies and meets St Peter outside the pearly gates. [cr
  5. Scared of eating genetically modified fruit? Grow a pear.
  6. I used to weep over my poor apple harvest. Then I grew a pear.
  7. Seems like there is always more than one fruit fetishist... They come in pears.
  8. I tried to put two apples together But then I got a pear
  9. The thing about people with fruit fetishes... Is that they usually come in pears
  10. Why are fruit rapists seldom found alone? They come in pears
  11. My neighbor says he is too afraid to plant an apple tree. I told him, "Grow a pear"!
  12. When is an Iphone not an Apple? When there's two of them. Then it's a pear.
  13. What do you say to someone too scared to plant apples ? Grow a pear.
  14. I know you can't compare apples to oranges... ...but two apples do make a pear.
  15. My buddy told me he was too afraid to grow apples. I was like, bro, grow a pear.

Apples Pears Jokes

Here is a list of funny apples pears jokes and even better apples pears puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My mate quit the rat race to become an apple farmer, and now he's whining about how much work it is. So I told him to just grow a pear.
  • Steve jobs goes to Heaven.. .. As he steps up to the pearly gates, St. Peter looks at him with a frown on his face, points downwards and says: You know how we feel about Apples up here.
  • My doctor told me I had to add more apples, pears, and berries to my diet It was a fruitful checkup.
  • What got the apple into skydiving? Pear pressure.
  • Why couldn't the apples go to the homecoming dance? Because only PEARS were allowed! get it? pears! ok bye..
  • Apple literally named their company after an Apple 🍎 But then expect you to pear your Airpods? 🍐
  • Why can't you connect 2 speakers at the same time to an apple device? They work in pears.
  • Why can't fruit be compared? Apples and oranges cannot be peared.
  • Why don't boobies make apple juice? BECAUSE GIRLS ONLY HAVE A "PEAR" AHAHEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE
  • My mum is allergic to apples and pears That's why we live in a bungalow
Pears joke, My mum is allergic to apples and pears

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about pears can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of pears puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Comical & Quirky Pears Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about pears you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean peels jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make pears prank.

What town in the continental United States produces the most alligator pears per year?

Avo, CA does.

A woman stole some food from a store...

...and she was caught shoplifting. When she went to court, the judge asked her, "What exactly did you steal?" The woman admitted that she took a can of pears. "How many pears were in the can?" asked the judge. "There were six pears, Your Honor." she replied. "To be fair, then, you must go to jail for six days."
The woman's husband, who hated her, piped up and said, "Your Honor! She stole a can of peas too!"

A monkey climbs a banana tree

So a monkey climbs a banana tree one day and is astonished to see a fully grown elephant sitting in it.
"what are you doing here?" asks the monkey.
"eating these pears," said the elephant, holding up a pear.
"but this is a banana tree," said the monkey.
"I know" said the elephant. "i brought my own pears."

A man tells his shrink he's no longer attracted to his wife.

"For some reason I'm only a**... by small pieces of fruit."
"I've seen this before, you have Twin Syndrome.," the doc replies.
"Twin Syndrome?"
"You only come in pears."

Why did Darth Maul j**... into a piece of fruit?

Because the sith always comes in pears

What type of fruit do twins prefer?

Pears.

What do you call two pears?

A pair.

According to the Bible, what's Noah's favorite fruit?

Pears.

What are twins favorite food?

Pears

What are twins favorite fruits?

Pears

I've been secretly tossing pears at my neighbor for a couple weeks now

I can hear him talking to his wife about government drones trying to drive him crazy, but he's just pear annoyed.

What do you have if you're holding three pears?

Six

Watermelon cantaloupe

But apple pears

A Squirrel in Sitting in a Tree Eating Some Nuts When Suddenly the Tree Starts to Shake Violently.

He looks down and sees an elephant climbing the tree.
The squirrel says "hey elephant, what are you doing?"
The elephant replies "I'm climbing this tree to eat some pears!"
"You d**...," says the squirrel, "this is a pine tree... there's no pears up here."
The elephant says "I know, I brought my own!"

I went to buy some fruit yesterday...

I walked into the store intending to buy an apple. So I asked the cashier "How much do apples cost?"
He said that they were 50p each, but bananas and pears were only 30p each.
So I said "Oh ok then, I'll take a pear".
He gave me two apples and charged me £1.

Where do you take your pear tree when it runs out of pears?

...................the re-pear shop

A classmate asked me if pears grow in America.

I told her to grow a pair and find out.

Fruitophiles

They always come in pears!

Why is there no such thing as a punapple?

Because the best puns come in pears.
(Original joke made up by me and my friend the other day as we were high and ate pineapple... the asparagus guy inspired me to share)

Why do fruit lovers

often come in pears?

What's a twin's favorite fruit?

Pears.

I was at my best friend's apartment craving a smoothie.

After rummaging through his kitchen looking for anything to make a smoothie with, I got really frustrated and asked him.
"Don't you have a single fruit in this d**... place!"
He shrugged and said, "sorry, we only have pears."

You heard about the guys breaking into stores and having s**... with all the fruit?

They always come in Pears...
(Was literally just watching a live stream as I thought of this hopefully it hasn't been done before lol)

A man goes to the grocery store and buys a banana, three peaches, and two pears.

As the cashier scans his food, she looks at it all and says "You must be single."
The man smiles and says "Yeah, how did you know?"
"Oh," she says, "Because you're ugly."

If you catch a fruitophiliac having a go at your fruit

Be mindful that a second one could be nearby.
They c**... in pears.

Why are there an even number of people with a fruit f**...?

They always c**... in pears.

Pears joke, My doctor told me I had to add more apples, pears, and berries to my diet

jokes about pears

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these pears jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.