Peanut Jokes

• Short Peanut Jokes
• Peanut One Liners
• Peanut Butter Jokes
• Peanut And Jelly Jokes
• Peanut Day Jokes
• Peanut Butter Dog Jokes
• Peanut Allergy Jokes
• More Peanut Jokes

Funniest Peanut Short Jokes

Short peanut jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The peanut humour may include short pecan nut jokes also.

1. I was sitting at the bar arranging peanuts into piles of 1, 3, 5 and 7. The bartender asked me if I was trying to set up some odd joke. I told him No, but I would have done that in my prime.
2. My 9 year old just told me this joke and I thought I would share What do you call rich peanut butter?
   Jif Bezos
3. I have a Spotify playlist that has songs from The Peanuts Movie, Eminem, and The Cranberries I call it my trail mix.
4. I have a playlist of songs from Eminem, The Cranberies, and The Peanuts. I call it my Trail Mix.
5. Dad, is that dog over there a wiener dog? Son, with enough peanut butter every dog is a wiener dog.
6. I'm going to name my kids after what their mother was craving while pregnant... Peanuts and Pickles are great. tequila is kind of an idiot
7. There's a new machine at my gym. I used it, but after an hour I started feeling sick...
   It's got Snickers, cheetos, Peanuts... Everything!
8. Trail mix dad joke I made a playlist of songs from Eminem, The Cranberries, California Raisins, Red Hot chili Peppers, Spice Girls, and the Peanuts.
   I call it my Trail Mix.
9. Charles Schulz died as one of the richest Americans of the 20th century despite the fact he got his start making Peanuts.
10. What did the peanut say to the moon? Nothing.. Peanuts don't speak..
    My 4 year old just told me this joke and I can't stop laughing..

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Peanut One Liners

Which peanut one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with peanut? I can suggest the ones about peas and pepper.

1. The inventor of autocorrect just died. May he restaurant in peanut.
2. ALDI grocery stores have announced their new store brand peanuts. ALDI's nuts
3. Why did the man smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.
4. I bet jellyfish are sad... that there are no peanut butter fish.
5. What does a stripper and peanut butter have in common. They both spread for bread.
6. What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit? An astronut.
7. What do peanut butter and prostitutes have in common? They both spread for bread.
8. What do Southerners have in common with peanut butter? They are both usually in bread.
9. What do peanuts wear on their feet? Cashews
10. Two Peanuts were walking down a dark alley. One was a salted.
11. Why was the peanut so salty? Because it got R O A S T E D
12. Two types of peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood. One of them was a salted.
13. What fish tastes great with peanut butter? Jellyfish
14. I'm thinking of hiring an elephant. I hear they work for peanuts.
15. I don't like peanut butter... it just isn't my jam.

Peanut Butter Jokes

Here is a list of funny peanut butter jokes and even better peanut butter puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why did Peanut butter not open the door for the Jelly?... Because it was already ajar.
  (Sorry, I'm a dad.)
• An old joke I learnt [Clean] A peanut was stuck on the tracks
  His heart was all a flutter
  A train came down the track
  *Choo Choo!*
  Peanut butter.
• What's the difference between girls of our generation and peanut butter? One spreads easily and the other is peanut butter
• I have a theory that consuming little bits of peanut butter encased in colored candy shells provokes silly rhymes. I call it my Reeces Pieces Thesis.
  .
  .
  .
  .
  I'll see myself out.
• I got peanut butter on my camera Now every picture is a jif
• Have you heard of the peanut butter song? It's my jam.
• How do you put spaghetti to sleep? You cover it in peanut butter until it dies.
  My 4 year old made that up, along with a few others. Not sure how I feel about this.
• What do you call a peanut butter jelly sandwich in Flint MI? Pb and j
• As an American, I'm surprised by how unpopular cream cheese and peanut butter are in the rest of the world... I just thought they would have spread more.
• My wife's legs are like the peanut butter I left in the fridge. Won't spread.

Peanut And Jelly Jokes

Here is a list of funny peanut and jelly jokes and even better peanut and jelly puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I made a suitcase out of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It's jam packed.
• Your Mother and I are like peanut butter and jelly She spreads and I jam
• You must be peanut butter because you're making my legs feel like jelly.
• Why should you ask an anti-masker to make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Because they are a super spreader!
• One of these days, I'm going to go fishing for complements. I hope I catch some peanut butter and jelly.
• Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter & jelly Never mind I'm afraid you'll spread it
• People call me peanut-butter... Because everywhere I go, folks be gettin' jelly.
• How can a Pb & Jelly sandwich make you sick even though you don't have a peanut allergy? Lead poisoning
• If a brother and sister get together and have twins, the twins should be named Peanut Butter and Jelly. Because they are in bread.
• My wife and I go together like peanut butter and jelly. She's sweet and I've got nuts.

Peanut Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny peanut day jokes and even better peanut day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I'm proud to say that I sponsor a kid in Africa. I feed clothe and educate him all for less than 30 cents a day! That's peanuts when compared to what it cost to send him there
• I wish my girlfriend was like my dog Could lick peanut butter off me any time of the day

Peanut Butter Dog Jokes

Here is a list of funny peanut butter dog jokes and even better peanut butter dog puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My dog really likes peanut butter Especially the kind with nuts inside
• How do you get a dog to lick itself clean like a cat? Cover it in peanut butter.
• I tried the whole Peanut Butter-and-d**... thing with my dog ...but the Peanut Butter just kept sticking to the roof of my mouth.
• My dog ate a package of peanut butter cups. Now he's p**... out Reeses f**....
• My uncle invented this one today. What is the best part of a dog eating peanut butter?
  He has no hands to pick the p**... out.
• What's the most difficult thing about training a dog? Getting the peanut butter out of your p**... hair
• How do you stop a dog from h**... your leg? Put peanut butter on it.
• As far as my dog knows... ...d**... taste like peanut butter.

Peanut Allergy Jokes

Here is a list of funny peanut allergy jokes and even better peanut allergy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why did the man with the peanut allergy die in prison? He was sentenced to the nuthouse.
• What's up with peanut allergies? Not that kid's blood pressure
• I got my cat Kitten Mittens and now he looks like he's got a wicked peanut allergy He does not like cat shoes
• She had a severe peanut allergy That was the kiss of death for their romance
• Many Israelis have died from.. ..Peanut butter allergies than from h**... rockets.

Amusing Peanut Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about peanut you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean honey nut jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make peanut pranks.