Payday Jokes
21 payday jokes and hilarious payday puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about payday that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
We all love payday Friday for a sweet reward after a long week of hard work. But wouldn't you rather have a laugh instead? Check out this hilarious collection of jokes about the joys, predicaments, and repayment of payday. From the funny PayDay candy bar to the serious implications of PayDay 2, there's something for everyone that's fed up with the loan repayment grind.
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Funniest Payday Short Jokes
Short payday jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The payday humour may include short paycheck jokes also.
- So a homeless guy asked me to give him $20 to hold him off until payday. I asked him when payday was, and he replied, "How would I know, you're the one who's working."
- There's only three things to know as a plumber... Water runs downhill
Don't chew your fingernails after work
And payday is on Friday - Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job?
A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday. - What does a gay hunter do on payday? He goes to the casino, gets drunk, and blows a few bucks.
- Why does the letter "r" make all the difference between Friday and Sunday? payday vs prayday.
- The 4 rules of plumbing Payday is Friday
s**... flows downhill
The boss is an a**...
Don't chew your fingernails
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Payday One Liners
Which payday one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with payday? I can suggest the ones about pay check and money tight.
- What's a Mexican's favorite candy bar? A payday
- Hitting on girls at the bar is like payday I never get the number I asked for.
- What is poor peoples favourite candy bar? Payday
- What do horses call payday? hayday :^D
- What's more evil than opening a payday loan outside a casino? Smallpox.
- What do you call a T Rex that works for a Payday Loan company? An Apex Predatory Lender.
- Almir Payday 2 That is all, thank you.
- [H] Payday 2 [W] Offers
- It is payday today and I feel like Uncle Scrooge now. ...a cranky old g**....
Hilarious Payday Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about payday you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean getting paid jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make payday pranks.
Paybacktime
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.
When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him.
"How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye
Once the night watchman received a pound too much in his pay-packet
But he didn't mention it to his boss. But his boss found out and deducted it the following payday.
'Hey, ' said the watchman, 'I am a pound short this week.'
'You didn't say anything last week when you were paid a pound too much, I noticed'
'NO', replied the watchman. 'I can overlook one mistake but when it happens twice, it's time to speak up!'
Bob left work one Friday evening. But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages. When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife
and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
He replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
