Paycheck Jokes
58 paycheck jokes and hilarious paycheck puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about paycheck that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Paycheck Short Jokes
Short paycheck jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The paycheck humour may include short pay check jokes also.
- I like to think I'm a pretty good man. I give over 50% of my paycheck to Charity. But when she's not working I give it to Destiny.
- I used to live paycheck to paycheck But now I can happily say that after years of hard work and perseverance; I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
- the queen lived a tough life, from paycheck to paycheck. Your paycheck, his paycheck, my paycheck
- My company has a weekly joke and after four years I'm quite sick of it. They call it a "paycheck" when it's barely an allowance!
- I grew up living paycheck to paycheck, but through hard work and perseverance ...I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
- What do you call a financially strapped, wig wearing Czechoslovakian? A paycheck to paycheck toupee Czech.
- I went to a car dealership last week and saw a Lamborghini that really caught my eye. I'm just waiting for my paycheck now.... So I can pay for an Uber and go see it again.
- I used to live paycheck to paycheck, but now... ...after years of hard work and commitment, I'm living direct deposit to direct deposit.
- I got my paycheck with a lemon slice on it today... turned out my ex-wife was garnishing my wages.
- Why did the man quit his job at the organic parsley farm? They kept garnishing his paycheck.
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Paycheck One Liners
Which paycheck one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with paycheck? I can suggest the ones about payday and pay raise.
- I just found out I'm a millionaire! I converted my paycheck to rubles.
- Jesus turned water into wine I turned a paycheck into whiskey. Your move Jesus.
- I did it! I followed my goal to save $20 from each paycheck in 2020. I have $60.
- I think my girlfriend is a magician. She makes my paycheck disappear.
- Where do beavers go to cash their paychecks? The riverbank.
- I hate my job at the crematorium But at last I urn a paycheck.
- How do you starve a neurosurgeon? Hide his paycheck with his kids.
- Why did the employee's paycheck smell like parsley? Their boss had garnished their wages
- I added a zero to my paycheck today! Zero plus zero is still zero...
- Where did the hamster deposit her paycheck? Her shavings account
- I stopped living paycheck to paycheck... ...now I live direct deposit to direct deposit.
- You better wear the latex Or she'll get the paychecks!
- Whays the most depressing part of your job? Opening your paycheck.
- Today I got my first paycheck from my fruit picking job. It was Apple Pay.
- How to get a 5-6 figure paycheck every 2 weeks Count the .00
Charming Humor Paycheck Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about paycheck you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean salary jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make paycheck pranks.
Paybacktime
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.
When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him.
"How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye
Why did the bunny find some extra green in his paycheck?
Because he put in a little extra clovertime.
The IRS is going to start garnishing my wages.
I think I'll enjoy getting a sprig of parsley in my paycheck.
A Russian joke about the police.
A police officer is called up by his boss and he says:
-I've been looking through the records and you haven't been collecting your paycheck.
The officer replies:
-Paycheck? I thought we just get a p**... and then we're on our own!
My boss asked me to send him the funniest joke i've got....
...I sent him a picture of my paycheck
Paychecks are like d**......
Although you don't go around comparing yours to other peoples, you always hope it's a little bigger.
a guy's wife died
so in her memory, every month, he takes half of his paycheck and throws in in the trash
If a guy says he can't feel anything while wearing a c**......
Ask him if he can feel the money being s**... out of his paycheck for the next 18 years
They said to get in touch with my feminine side.
So I did, and my next paycheck was 22% less.
d**... are like paychecks.
You never know how yours compares to others but you always hope it's a little bigger.
What does Monica Lewinsky going to the oval office and you cashing your paycheck have in common?
In both cases somebody leaves with a hand full of Bills.
A married man left work early one Friday afternoon...
Instead of going home, however, he squandered the weekend (and his paycheck) partying with the boys.
When he finally returned home on Sunday night, he ran into a barrage of epithets from his furious wife. After a couple of hours of nagging and berating, his wife asked, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for a couple of days!?!"
"That would suit me just fine!!!"
Monday went by and the man didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same result.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little, just out of the corner of his left eye..
Lady of my dreams
The wife checked her husband's phone and found these names:
1. The tender one
2. The amazing one
3. Lady of my dreams
She got angry and called the first number to find out that was his mother.
Then she called the second number on which his sister replied .
When she dialed the third number her own phone rang !!!!
She cried until she could cry no more because she had doubted her innocent husband, so she gave him her whole month's paycheck to make up for her doubts and mistrust.
Once his mother came to know of the story, she sold all her jewelery and gave him the money as well.
Husband took the money and bought a gift for his mistress who listed under "Plumber John".
A mathematician imagines depositing his next paycheck. A friend asks:"So, how much money do you have, anyway?"
The mathematician replies, "It's complex."
-Love, this paper proves that I can't have children
- is it a medical exam?
-no, it's my paycheck.
Kevin is on his way home after receiving his paycheck when a stomachache hit him..
Luckily, he was passing by a river.
Kevin ran for it and made a quick drop at the bank.
My Tums say they go to work in seconds
Well I've had the bottle for months and they haven't brought home even one paycheck or done any of the chores
My roommate is blind
Luckily for me he still doesn't know about the paychecks he gets every month.
Well slap my a**... and call me a paycheck
Because I'm never enough.
