Paw Jokes
117 paw jokes and hilarious paw puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about paw that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Need a laugh? Check out this collection of paw jokes! From paws belonging to cats, bears, puppies, and even PAW Patrol, these jokes will have you sitting on the edge of your seat with laughter. Don't miss out on these hilarious paw puns!
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Funniest Paw Short Jokes
Short paw jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The paw humour may include short puppy jokes also.
- What's the difference between a cheetah and a comma? A cheetah has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause
- (My 6 year old's first homemade joke) What kind of clothes do cats wear to bed? Answer: Paw-jamas
- A Three legged dog walks into the old wild west saloon He says to the bartender, "I'm lookin' fer the guy who shot my paw."
- Why did the popular kittens not want to hang out with the kitten with a prosthesis? It was an obvious faux paw.
^Cr - What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
- Scientist: We've successfully taught a dog morse code! Dog: [taps paw]
Me: What did it say??
Scientist: "Woof." - A bear walks into a bar.. *Goes up to the bartender*
Bear: "Hi, I'd like a gin...................and tonic."
Bartender: "Sure, but what's with the big pause?"
*bear looks at own paws* - What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat? One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.
- A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the old west... and sits down. He looks around and then says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
- I've finally taught my dog to fetch a glass of red wine. He's a Bordeaux Collie
And yes, he paws it himself...
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Paw One Liners
Which paw one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with paw? I can suggest the ones about sits and barks.
- Where do theatrical cats wear their gloves? On their...
Dramatic Paws - When women reach a certain age they start accumulating cats This is known as many paws
- When women get to a certain age they begin to accumulate cats This is known as many paws.
- Why are cats and daughters equal in Alabama? They both lick their paw.
- Why can't bears watch tv? B/c they're always hitting the paws button
- Why'd it take so long for the two legged cat to cross the road? It had two paws
- I saw a vegan with a lucky rabbits foot the other day. I'm pretty sure that's a faux paw.
- How do you stop a dog? You hit paws.
- What’s a cat’s favorite button on a DVD remote? Paws.
- Never stare at a dog with a prosthetic foot... ...it's a faux paw.
- A three legged dog walked into a bar and said "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
- Why couldn't the cat watch the movie? The video was stuck on paws.
- Dog paws smell like Fritos. What to horse hooves smell like? A broken nose.
- Why do dogs have a hard time listening to music? Because they keep pressing paws
- What's a bank robbing dogs favorite weapon? A pawed-off shotgun.
Cat Paw Jokes
Here is a list of funny cat paw jokes and even better cat paw puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- When a woman gets to a certain age they start to accumulate cats Apparently it's known as many-paws
- The cat walks all over my keyboard while I'm gaming. And just as I've always told my parents I have to tell the cat, I'm playing online, I can't paws it.
- When women get to a certain age, they start collecting cats..... This is known as the many paws.
- What's a cat's favorite part of a video game? The PAWS button!
- I understand now why my cat sleeps so much. She's living life on paws.
- Why is my cat constantly embarrassed? Because he always has fou' paws!
- What do you call a cat who uses fake finger prints? an im-paw-ster.
- Why wasn't the cat moving? It was on paws
- What do you call a cat with only two legs? Paw paw.
- Why are cats so bad at video games? Because they can only press paws.
Bear Paw Jokes
Here is a list of funny bear paw jokes and even better bear paw puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A bear walks into a bar And asks the bartender,
"I'll have a...
...
Whisky"
The bartender says, "why the big paws" - a bear walks into a bar and orders a burger then pauses for a while and says a large soda aswell the bartender says why the long paws
- A bear walks into a bar the bartender said
"What would you like?"
and the bear said
"I want...
a beer please"
then the bartender said
"Why the big paws??" - Bear walks into bar... Bear asks deer...
(Time passes)
Can I have a drink?
Deer says, why the long paws? - A bear walks into a restaurant And says Waiter................... I'd like a steak
The waiter says Sure, but why the big paws? - A bear walks into a bar A bear walks into a bar and asks the barman:
"Can I have a beer...................Please?"
The barman replies:
"Sure, but why the massive paws?" - The girls in Arkansas have a lot in common with bears... They both lick their paws.
- A mad scientist.... A mad scientist cut my feet off and replaced them with those of a grizzly bear. I now
Have unnatural paws - A bear walks into a bar The bear puts his hand down on the bar and the bartender sees it is wrapped in bandages and dripping blood. Then the bear says, I'm looking for the man who shot my paw....
- What did the bear do during his game when his bear friend called? He hit paws
Paw Patrol Jokes
Here is a list of funny paw patrol jokes and even better paw patrol puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If Paw Patrol had humans instead of dogs They'd probably look pretty weird while barking
- I recently came across this show called Paw Patrol I like how it teaches children, from an early age, that the police patrol the poor.
Laughable Paw Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about paw you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cat paw jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make paw pranks.
So there's these two beavers...
one is named Joe and the other, Steven. Joe and Steven have a fire. Joe decides he's hungry so he grabs a pan and some sticks.
Steven runs over and says "Joe what are you doing?" And says "im just grilling up some sticks."
Steven immediately smacks the pan from Joe's paw and says
"JOE THATS A NON STICK PAN"
A Scientist is with his peer
The peer asks the scientist, "What are you working on?"
The scientist says, "Its amazing. I taught a dog how to communicate to humans with morse code!"
The two walk down the hall to see the dog and the scientist gives the dog a command. The dogs taps his paw on the ground with intervals of time creating letters in morse code.
The peer says, "What is he saying?"
The scientist says, "Woof."
A r**... family was visiting the city...
...and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen nuthin'like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a large old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy, go git yo Momma."
A three legged dog walks into a saloon and says,...
I'm lookin' for the one that shot my paw.
A three-legged dog walks into an old-timey saloon
"I'm lookin' for the man who shot my Paw."
(I know it's old but I'm feeling really down and this joke cheers me up.)
I can tell bad jokes too - A dog limps into a saloon...
As the batwing doors swing closed behind him, the patrons turn to eye the stranger up.
The dog c**... looks around the dim, smoky room and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
It's 1887 and a three-legged dog walks into a saloon, grabs the bartender by the scruff of his neck, looks him dead in the eyes and says...
"I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."
A dog comes limping into the old west salloon.
Bartender asks if he can help the dog with anything.
Dog says, "I'm lookin for the low down rascal who shot my paw."
My dog is an amputee and his fake leg fell off while we were showing it to our friends.
It was quite the faux paw.
A Dog Walks Into Bar...
A dog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "We don't serve dogs in here," pulls out a p**... and shoots the dog in a hind paw. The dog hops yelping out of the bar.
The next day the dog walks back into the bar with a huge bandage on his hind foot. He's wearing a ten-gallon hat and has a six-gun on each hip.
He looks at everyone in the bar and says...
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A dog with a cowboy hat, spurs and a cigar limps in through the swinging doors of a saloon...
...He says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"
A three legged dog limps into a saloon in the old west...
He growls, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"
Kid asks is paw why do these condoms come in 3 packs?
Father: Those are for highschool boys son. One for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Son: Then what is this 6 pack for?
Father: Those are for college men! 2 for Friday 2 for Saturday and 2 for Sunday!
Son: WOW!! And the 12 pack of condoms?
Father: Sigh.... Those are for married men. One for January.... One for February..... One for...
A dog with a bandage walks into a saloon.
He sauntered up to the bartender and said, "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw".
A man goes into a pet shop and asks the owner for something amazing but also cheap
The owner says that he has a talking fox for only £20. The man says "How rediculous, foxes can't talk and even if they could why would you sell him so cheap?!". While he's asking this a fox comes over, puts his paw on the desk as if to interrupt and says "Actually I can talk. I've written 3 books and climbed up mount Everest for the 5th time yesterday". The man astonished says "wow! But why so cheap?" To which the owner replies "I just can't take the lies anymore".
A three legged dog walks into a bar
He looks around and says I'm looking for the man who shot my Pa(w).
A man goes into a pet store and demands an amazing pet for a very cheap price
The shop keeper says "I have a talking fox for only £20" the man exclaims " foxes can't talk!" While he's rambling on the fox puts his paw up on the desk and says "actually I can talk... I've written 3 books and I climbed up mount Everest for the 2nd time yesterday!" The man says "wow he's amazing, why are you selling him so cheap??" To which the shopkeeper replies "I just can't take the lies anymore..."
A dog limps into a bar
The bartender says "What can I get you?" The dog says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
My relationship status:
I just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away, so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
Did you hear about the three-legged dog who limped into the saloon in a town in the old west?
He was lookin' for the varmints who shot his paw.
Monkey paw
In March I found a monkey paw and used it to wish to work from home every day. I'm sorry everybody.
A King is being admired by his people...
They bring him food, bathe him, protect his castle, and all he has to do is shake a paw every once and a while..
Did you hear...
... about the dog that limped into a town in Texas? He was looking for the man who shot his paw.
Warning: Dad joke for kids inside.
What do Skye, Chase, Marshall and Rubble use to power their vehicles?
Paw Petrol.
A dog with a bandaged foot limped into town one day.
The sheriff approached the stranger and said: What brings you to Dawson City? The dog replied: I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.
I just gave my first Ted talk about south paw sign language.
The audience was left speechless.
What did the three legged cowboy's dog say when he walked into Dodge city?
I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!
Two guys walk into a bar...
They look around, and see that at one table, there's a rabbi, a priest, and an imman. At another there's an Irishman, a Scottsman, and a Brit. At a third there's a blonde, a brunette, and a readhead. Up at the bar, sits a dog with a bandaged paw.
Guy looks to his friend and says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?'
A 3 legged dog walks into a saloon in the wild west
He slides up to the bar and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"
A three legged puppy walks into a bar
The puppy looks at everyone in the bar and says, I'm looking for the man that shot my paw.
Why did the dog need glasses?
Because it had paw eyesight
For Halloween I'm going to dress my dog up as a famous pope.
I was thinking Pope John Paw.
In the Wild West, a young dog with three legs walks into a bar
He quietly tells the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A three legged dog from the wild west walks into a bar and looks around
The bar tender looks a him and says "who are you looking for?"
to witch the dog replies "I'm looking for the guy who shot my paw"
What is it when a St. Bernard steps in your Vietnamese soup?
A huge pho paw
A three-legged dog walks into a bar and puts a shotgun on the table....
Barman asks, *" How can I help you?*
"I'm looking for the guy who shot my paw"
Relationship Status
Just reached for my dog's paw and he pull it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote
A limping dog walks into a bar...
The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The dog says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A dog limps into a bar.
Says, "I'm lookin for the man who shot my paw".
A man held up the monkey's paw and said I wish I had a million bucks right now!
He was found the next day trampled to death by deer.
A dog limps into a bar...
And the bartender says, "What are you doing here?"
The dog replies, "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."
What did the three-legged dog say when he hobbled into the saloon...
I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.
So a three legged dog walks into a bar...
He looks around and asks, "who's the guy that shot my paw?"
There was time in the old west
A dog with three legs walks into a saloon, he slams open the doors, looks around at the startled patrons and asks, "Anyone seen my PAW?"
Dog limps into the O.K. Corral.
"I'm lookin for the man that shot my paw."
A three legged dog walks into a bar...
Goes up to the bartender and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
I'm paw!
Did you hear about the three legged dog who came wandering into town?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw.
I just realized I've been missing all the front page posts about animal shelters.
It must be this paw pup blocker I've installed
I once f**... in the woods
Then i saw a grizzly walking with his paw in front of his nose.
I think He couldn't bear the smell
A three-legged dog burst into a saloon and declares...
"I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw!"
What's a b**...'s favorite form of advertisement?
A paw pup.
He got his name, how exactly?
In the movie Rocky , it's explained by our hero, the reason why you would call a left handed fighter, a southpaw - reason being that this one left handed fighter from the south, would point his left paw to the south, reminding the audience that he was a southern boy.
That's all good and fine, I just hope mr. Eastwood didn't get his name in a similar way...
In retrospect, I'm embarrassed that I had a prosthetic leg made for my three-legged dog.
Faux paw.
A dog with his arm in a sling walks into a bar in the old west
He sits down and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."
Why don't furries shake hands?
It's a faux paw.
What song do cheetahs in school like to listen to?
Desk Paw Cheeto.
Sheriff dog bursts into the saloon and says
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"
A 2 legged dog walks into a bar...
He limps up to the bar, and says to the bartender "I'm looking for the guy that shot my paw."
Did you hear about the incestuous dog?
He laid his paw on the table.
What do Bigfoot and Prince's grandson have in common?
They both have grand paw prints.
A dog limps into a saloon
The bartender asks "how can I help you?"
The dog replies "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A dog walks into a saloon...
Says: "I'm looking for the fella that shot my paw"
(LOL, I'm a dad, I'm allowed.)
Groaner I came up with, my apologies. Why did the dog go to the f**...?
Because he was a paw bearer.
What do you call a prosthetic arm for a dog?
Faux paw.
A three-legged dog hobbles into an old western saloon
He limps up to the bartender.
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
I pulled behind a car today that had a bumpersticker in the shape of a paw that read "My grandchild is a dog"
and I just thought, wow, what an awful thing to say about your grandchild.
Where do you find a paw paw?
At the end of a dog's dog's leg leg...
A dog goes in to a saloon.
He's wearing a 6 gun and a black hat, and his front foot is bandaged. He limps up to the bartender and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
