Pause Jokes
136 pause jokes and hilarious pause puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pause that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Pause Short Jokes
Short pause jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pause humour may include short delay jokes also.
- What's the difference between a cheetah and a comma? A cheetah has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause
- McDonald's has paused operations in Russia. They've successfully established a No Fry Zone.
- A bear walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, "I'll have a............beer." The bartender responds, "what's with the big pause?" The bear holds up his arms and says, "always had 'em."
- What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
- Knock Knock Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce pause this joke for a word from our sponsor, Raid shadow Legends - The anti pick-up line. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? [pause while smiling] Because it looks like you landed on your face"
I'd love to hear some of yours. - What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat? One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.
- Five asexual people are playing cards One of them starts to explain the rules and then he pauses and says
I would say no cheating but there's already five aces at the table - A bear walks into a restaurant He tells his waiter, "I want a grilled …. cheese."
The waiter says, "What's with the pause?"
"Whaddya mean?" the bear replies.
"I'm a *bear*!" - Your spy name is Your last name, followed by a brief pause and then your first and last name.
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Pause One Liners
Which pause one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pause? I can suggest the ones about shutdown and idle.
- What's a pirates favourite letter? (pause for everyone saying aRrrrrrr)
No, it be the C - Last night I paused the film to make a cup of tea. I've now lost my job at the cinema.
- If I had a puppy I'd name it comma. Why? Because of its small pause.
- What do you call it when fish stop having babies? Minnow-pause
- Why can't a dog clap in the middle of a movie? Because it keeps hitting pause.
- The other day, a wizard offered to turn me into a cat. The suggestion gave me pause.
- I got a job judging a verbal pause competition. I am the Ummmpire.
- Did you hear about the man with a lethal stutter? He died of natural pauses
- Why can you never watch a movie with your cat? Cos they're always stepping on pause.
- I used to be much more hesitant to teach my dog tricks. It still gives me pause.
- Which president was famous for his long pauses? Ellipsis S. Grant.
- Females stop and think more as they age. Mental-pause.
- My wife asked me 'What's Harry Potter's owl called'? I paused and said OWL-BERT
- Why was Aquaman's wife in a bad mood? She was going through minnow-pause
- "Knock, knock.Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."
Comical & Quirky Pause Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about pause you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blink jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pause pranks.
The teacher knew tommy could only count while using his fingers. She told him to put his hands in his pockets and then she asked him: what is five and five?
After a short pause he replied Eleven?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hello?
- "Hello?"
- "Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?"
- "No Daddy. She´s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."
After a brief pause, Daddy says,
- "But honey, you haven´t got an Uncle Paul."
- "Oh yes I do, and he´s upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy, right now."
Brief Pause.
- "Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy´s car just pulled into the driveway."
- "Okay Daddy, just a minute."
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
- "I did it Daddy."
- "And what happened honey?" he asked.
- "Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn´t moving at all!"
- "Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"
- "He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn´t know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he´s dead."
***Loooong Pause***
Then Daddy says,
- "What swimming pool? . . . Is this 486-5731"?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man phones the house and the maid picks up the
phone.
A man phones the house and the maid picks up the phone. He asks the maid where the wife is. She says the wife is in the bed with a man. After a long pause, the man gathers himself together asks the maid to do a favor for him and promises her $50,000. He asks her to go to his study room and to get a gun from the cabinet table and to shoot both the woman and the man. The maid puts down the phone receiver and the man can hear two gunshots.
The maid cames back panting and stressed and picks up the phone again and says now what. The man says to the maid to dump the bodies in their pool.
The maid pauses a little and says "But you don't have a pool". There is a pause on the other line. "Oh sorry, wrong number."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 old buddies mourning the loss of a friend
2 old friends are catching up at an old pal's f**.... One takes a moment to pause and finally asks the question.
"So... How'd it happen?"
To which the other responds.
"Well, as I understand it, he went to the doctor the other day and the doctor said he was 'as healthy as a horse.' But on the way home he broke a leg."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two friends are on vacation…
…they're staying in nice hotels and the first guy asks the second,
"How's your stay been going so far?"
To which the second friend replies, "Awesome, 'cause listen to this: there's live s**... shows every night here!"
"Really? Where at?"
"The next room over from mine."
The first friend goes silent for a bit. The second guy finally speaks up and says, "What's wrong?"
To which the first replies, "That's my room."
After another awkward pause, the second friend finally says, "Ohhhh. Y'know, you should REALLY get a partner."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... after surgery
A surgeon went to check on his patient after an operation.
"You'll be fine," he said.
She asked ...
How long will it be before I am able to have a normal s**... life again doctor?"
The surgeon seemed to pause, and a small tear ran down his cheek from the corner of his eye, which alarmed the girl.
"What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied ...
Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man in a small town goes to confessional...
and tells the local priest, "Father, forgive me, for I have slept with a loose woman."
The priest thinks for a moment and says, "Well, son, was it Mary?"
"No Father."
"Hmm," the priest continues, "was it Fiona?"
"No, no father," the man replies.
"And was it Anne?"
"No, father."
After a pause, the priest says, "Give me one our fathers and two hail marys, and all will be forgiven."
The man exits the confessional and slides in next to his friend on a pew.
"So," the friend asks, "what'd the father give you?"
"Well, I got one our fathers, two hail marys, and three good leads."
**source**: Prairie Home Companion
On the phone while fishing...
I was on the phone with an interviewer today while fishing when all of the sudden I get a bite, I pause trying to decide what to do. Then I tell him, "Hey can you hold for a second? I've got fish on line two."
A fantastic joke from local English comedian Tony Wallace
A man rings his gran and asks how her doctor's appointment went.
"He hit on you? No Gran, I'm sure he was just being nice."
A few seconds pause.
"No Gran, he said you had acute angina."
Horse in a bar.
A horse stumbles into a bar and without pause goes to the bartender. The bartender looks up from cleaning the counter and nods to the horse and motions for him to take a stool.
The horse does so, but decides to remain where he is anyway, so the bartender asks him 'What will it be?'
The horse ponders this for a moment, snuffles at the bartenders hair, and finally whinnies as he makes his selection.
"A shot and a fifth of whiskey, please."
The bartender raises an eyebrow before figuring it out, and calmly reaches under the bar, pulls out a rifle and shoots the horse, who dies on the spot.
The bartender stows the rifle, much to the awe of the other patrons, and proceeds to take a pull directly from a bottle of whiskey before applauding.
One of the regulars waves the bartender over, confusion evident on his face, and asks the bartender what that was all about, to which the bartender replies,
"Oh, he wanted to be an actor so he could pretend to be human, so they told him to break a leg. Fool horse should have known better."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a v**... eat for breakfast?
Has it been that long
(Depending on the audience, it may be important to complete with a comedic pause and) ...
... since breakfast?
Getting Married!
A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form.....
The young man, who had never talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous and the pastor tried to put him at ease...
When they came to the question, "Are you entering this marriage of your own free will?".....
There was a long pause. Finally, the girl looked over at the apprehensive young man and said, "Put down 'Yes.'"
I just figured about why dogs are so bad at math
Because when we answer a question we have to pause, but when they answer a question they have four paws.
Why did the puppy fall down the hill?
...
...
...
...
Awkward paws (pause).
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A German walks into a bar after the World Cup.
As he is ordering a beer, he notices an American sitting at the edge of the bar.
After a tense pause, he says, "Hey American! How many world cups have you won?"
The American calmly replies
"Hey German. How many World Wars have you won?"
Rose . . .
Two elderly men are talking while their wives prepare supper.
The first man says "we went to this really amazing restaurant the other day, you have to try it."
The second replies "we would love to, what is it called? "
After a long pause the first man, clearly confused, asks "what is the name of the flower. . .The one with the thorns on it? "
The second replies " a rose? "
"Yes, thank you" says the first man as he turns to the kitchen and yells "ROSE ! WHAT'S THE NAME OF THAT RESTAURANT WE WENT TO THE OTHER DAY ? "
A Panda goes into a bar and is asked what he would like to drink, the panda says 'I would like a....
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... Pint of Guinness please. The bartender says, sure no problem but why the big pause?
Two French generals...
... of the Napolean army were watching a battle from a nearby hill. Suddenly, a stray bullet struck one of them in the shoulder. Without an instants' pause, he turned to his aide. "Fetch me my red jacket," he commanded. As the aide rushed to comply, he turned to the other General, and explained that he didn't want the men to be demoralized by knowing he was wounded.
The other General was clearly impressed. At that moment, a cannonball shrieked between them, the wind from its' passing rocking them both back on their heels. After a moment, the second General turned to his aide, and ordered, "Fetch me my brown trousers ... "
A woman is cleaning out her husband's bedside table...
...and when she gets to the bottom drawer she finds 3 eggs and $3,458.
Confused, she asks her husband about it. He sighs, then says sadly, "You'd better sit down."
She sits, looking anxious. "We've been married for over 30 years", he starts, "and in that time, I've... well I've been unfaithful."
There's an awkward pause, then with tears in her eyes she asks, "What does that have to do with the eggs?" "Well," he explains "whenever I was unfaithful, I put an egg in the drawer."
"Well three times isn't that bad in 30 years, but what about the money?"
"Oh." the husband says, "Whenever I had a dozen eggs, I sold them."
3 pregnant woman....
Three pregnant women are sitting around a table discussing their pregnancies. The first one says, "I eat so many dills, my baby is gonna love pickles."
The second woman says, "My baby is gonna love cheese, I eat swiss by the block!"
The first two mothers stare at the third waiting for her say what her baby will love. After a long pause she says, "I guess I'm going to have a gay son."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two men are in the woods hunting
one falls into a pit. His friend calls 911 on his cell phone. He tells the operator, "My friend fell into a pit. I think he might be dead!" The operator tells him, "Ok sir. Please remain calm. First, make sure he's dead." There's a pause, followed by a gun shot. Then the man comes back on the line and says, "Okay. Now what?"
Dad here: Why did the psychic get fired?
Because she didn't see it coming.
Hahahahahahahahahaha *pause* hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
*wipes tears from eyes*
Where'd everybody go?
Two ornithologists were listening to a bird call...
...they heard it sing "fourtimesthreetimestwotimesone". It took a pause and then sung "equalstwentyfour". They looked at each other slightly confused, when they heard it repeat the call:"fourtimesthreetimestwotimesone"..."equalstwentyfour". One ornithologist looked at the other and said "I don't think I've ever heard that bird before"; the other one answered, "me either, but I'm pretty sure it's a Fact Oriole".
Why the big pause................................?
Said the man in the pub to the bear.
First heard this joke told by Eddie Izzard.
Verbal Battle
Little Johnny and Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world. "My Father is better than your Father!" Billy declared.
"No, he's not!" Johnny responded.
"My brother is better than you brother!" Billy said.
"He is not! He is not!" Yelled Little Johnny.
"My Mother is better than your Mother!" Billy continued.
A long pause ensued, then Little Johnny said, "Well, I guess ya got me there. I've heard my Father say the same thing more than once
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Overheard @ high school's red & white football game
Clueless freshman: "So, who are we playing?"
Crowd: "It's intrasquad!"
Pregnant pause.
Clueless freshman: "So we're still going to lose!"
Its impossible to watch a movie with my dog.
He's always pressing pause.
The Cowardly Lion, Aslan, and Cecil are having drinks at a bar ...
They all look worn out so the bartender asks them why they look so beat.
The Cowardly Lion goes first and says, "Man, you have no idea what I went through just to get courage."
Aslan then chimes in quickly after that and says, "Nonsense, you have no idea what I went through just to get Narnia united."
There's a pause so they all look at Cecil. He raises his eyes from his drink and quietly says, "Oh yeah? You have no idea what I went through just to get a cavity filled."
A man walks into a gun shop.
He looks over the guns until the cashier asks what he wants. The man couldn't decide so the cashier asked, "what are you shooting?" The man said "cans". The cashier asked, "what kind of cans?" The man took a pause, than finally said "oh you know, Americans, Mexicans, Africans."
50th Anniversary Gift
At their 50th anniversary, the wife decides to give the husband a very special gift. She said, as a gift, I'll give you a chance to ask me anything and I'll tell you the truth.
Husband see's a chance. He said, you know, it's about Adam. I have always wondered about him. He doesn't look anything like our other 6 children. I was always suspicious about him. I think I may not have been fair to him as well because of this. I have to ask you, does he have a different father?
Wife pause for a second. then says: yes.
The husband feels sad, but still asks, who?
The wife replies: you.
What is a hemophiliac's least favorite song?
Don't stop ble-eding
(The pause is necessary)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A r**...'s father passed away in his sleep
So in the morning, he calls 911 to come pick up the body.
The 911 operator told him that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
He replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?
There was a long pause and finally he said, "How 'bout if I drag him over to Oak Street and you pick him up there?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy asks his dad for a drink of water...
After being put to bed a boy calls to his father from his room, "Dad, will you bring me a glass of water?"
The father was already in bed himself so he answered that the boy would be fine and he should go back to bed.
There was about a 5 minute pause and then the boy called out again asking for water.
The father replied in the same way.
After another 5 min the boy called out again with the same request.
The father, getting annoyed, replied back, " No, you're fine. Go to sleep and if you ask again I'm going to come in there and s**... you."
There was about a 10 minute pause this time before the boy called out again, "Dad, when you come in here to s**... me will you bring me a glass of water?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm pregnant...
A girl calls her boyfriend nervously. "j**..., I'm pregnant..." There's a long pause before the boy replies"...hi pregnant, I'm dad." Another awkward paid follows before she replies "Actually..."
My suit is black.
Pause not!
A tiger walks into a bar
A tiger walks into a bar.
Bartender: What'll you have?
Tiger: I'll have a Jack and........................................................................................................ Coke.
Bartender: What's with the big pause?
Tiger: I was born with 'em!
Phantom energy
So, our science teacher was teaching us about phantom energy. At one point of the lesson, he puts his phone on the counter and says; "If I leave my phone here it will eventually die."
After a little pause I hear another student whisper and say; "Same with children".
I made a movie about freezing time
I showed it to some people, but they thought it was just a picture.
It's 3 hours and 27 minutes long...if you don't pause
Blonde Joke gone bad
Brother: Why did the blonde climb over the transparent glass wall?
Sister: I don't know, why?
Brother: To see what was on the other side.
Sister: Pause. *Confused Look.* Wait.. but.. why didn't she just walk around it?
An Ewok walks into a bar...
An Ewok strolls into a bar and says to the bartender, I'll have a whisky and …… soda.
The bartender says, Sure thing—but why the little pause?
Dunno, says the Ewok. I've had them all my life.
A computer programmer was asked if he used Java or something else.
After a short pause, he replied "Yes."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I met a disgruntled farmer in the pub today
You look disgruntled, I said. What's the story?
I ordered a couple of tons of manure, he replied gloomily. It arrived today.
Is that bad?
Well, you see, it was fake.
Fake?
Yes, fake manure.
I didn't even know that was a thing.
Well, it is. And it's useless for farming.
U'm sorry to hear that.
After a long pause, he spoke again. But on the bright side, my hair is insanely soft.
What's that got to do with anything? I asked, puzzled.
Well, it's all thanks to the sham p**....
Enter job interview . Interviewer asks infamous question "what is your greatest weakness in the workplace?" Pause for 10 to 15 seconds then say "I'm bad with awkward silences "
If the don't laugh then pause again and say "sometimes my jokes aren't well received " problem solved
What was the cat amputee's reaction to her successful transplant?
It gave her pause
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's Albert Einstein, not mine
Few things are Infinite,
The Universe, Human stupidity and the amount of times you have to tell your Mother you can't pause an online Game.
A bear walks into a bar...
... goes up to the barman and says "I'd like a gin and tonic .............. and a packet of peanuts". The barman says "Sure, but why the big pause?". The bear holds up his hands and says, "These? Hey, I was born with them".
I translated an Ewokese joke into English
An Ewok marches into a cantina and says to the bartender, I'll have a Jawa Juice and …… Bantha milk.
The bartender says, Sure thing—but why the little pause?
Not sure, says the Ewok. I've had them all my life.
*Yub Nub!*
A Jewish man calls the newspaper to publish an obituary notice for her wife
Shlomo: Hello, This is Shlomo, I want to publish an obituary notice for my wife Rachel.
Agent: Hello Shlomo, how shall we publish it, do you have any words in mind?
Shlomo: "Rachel is dead". That's enough.
Agent: Sir you can write more; its the same price.
Shlomo: Hmm okay, "My wife Rachel is dead."
Agent: Sir, it is the same price up to 9 words, are you sure this is enough?
..after a moment of pause
Shlomo: "My wife Rachel is dead, Ford Fiesta for Sale."
A woman calls her husband
She asks him, "do you think my sister is prettier than me?"
There's a long pause.
Then the husband answers, no, honey, definitely not."
She replies, "then why did it take you so long to answer??"
He says, "I had to ask her to turn around so I could see her face."
Yesterday in karate class whenever we were supposed to punch left I punched right
.... *long pause*
"What?"
"Idk I always mess up the punch line"
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on."
After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied, "…but I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now…"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy goes to the doctor.
A guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, ya gotta help me. My a**...'s the size of a garbage can lid!"
The doctor is a little shocked and says, "You've got to be kidding. I'm sure it's not that bad. Tell me what happened."
The guy tells the doctor, "Well, I went on Safari and I ended up getting r**... by an elephant."
The doctor thinks for a second and says, "Well, then it can't be the size of a garbage can lid. I'm no veterinarian, but I know that elephant p**... are actually quite small."
After a short embarrassed pause, the guy guy sighs, "He fingered me first."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Newly wed 70-year old
Marty is with his fellow septuagenarian friends. During a thoughtful pause between all the joking and grousing he reveals that he and his new bride are having some issues with s**.... The friends had previously warned Marty that his bride-to-be only wanted him for his money and now they rallied around him.
"You lied by saying that you're only 50 years old. And now she's disappointed that you have s**... infrequently," ventured a friend.
"Yes, I lied," Marty confessed. "I said that I was 90 years old. And now she's upset that it's in frequently."
> mandatory: this is not mine; not OC
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bubba Calls 911
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. 'Where do you live?' asked the operator.
Bubba replied, 'At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.'
The operator asked, 'Can you spell that for me?'
There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, 'How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?'
Which part of a bear that's always stationary?
Bear's pause
Putting down your book...
... is the original pause button.
Knock Knock
A man is sitting at home watching TV when he hears a knock at the door. Begrudgingly, he hits pause on the remote and makes his way to the door. Once at the door, he hears a woman's voice from outside.
Woman: Knock knock!
Man: Who's there?
Woman: Cliffhanger.
Man: Cliffhanger who?
The man stood at the door for hours, anxiously awaiting a response, but there was none.
My new broadband package allows me to pause live TV.
But this isn't really fair on other people.
Elaine said to her boyfriend, "I want to be on your left!"
I responded, "Why?" *short pause* "Because you're never right?"
The Little Horse: An Inspirational Children's Story
[Parents, read this to your kids. I expect to see results. The last part is funnier with a long pause and not adding anything onto it, including context. I have no idea where I heard this one, but let me just say that while the concept is not mine, I did a whole lot of tweaking. Just a warning, it's super long, but it is meant to keep your interest as long as possible, so it's almost a legit story.]
So my step-brother just said to me...
" I would eat tomatoes if they tasted different"
Pause
" And if they had a different texture"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Pope and one of the Cardinals were sitting around doing crossword puzzles.
The Pope says, "Can you think of a four-letter word meaning 'woman' that ends with the letters, U-N-T?"
The Cardinal thinks for a moment. "Why yes, father. That would be 'AUNT'"
The Pope laughs, "YES! Of course! ...ha ha ha..." (pause) "Got an eraser?"
So a panda walks into a bar...
He sits down and orders: I'd like one whiskey.......and a coke please
The bartender brings him his drinks and asks:" Here you go, but why the big pause?"
The panda looks down to his hands and says:" I was born with them"
What did the 2 legged dog have to do at the stop sign?
He had to pause.
A blonde girl decides to do a puzzle.....
...so she grabs the puzzle and pours out all the pieces and tries to put it together. After a while she gets frustrated and calls her boyfriend. He asks her what is wrong and she tells him about the trouble she is having with the puzzle. He tells her to look at the picture on the front and tell him what it looks like. The blonde says, Okay, well, the background is blue and there is a tiger on it.
After a long pause her boyfriend sighs and says, Honey, put the cornflakes back in the box.
There once was a wizard who never hesitated to try new spells. But then he turned himself into a dog...
That gave him pause.
Saint Peter has a day off...
... so Jesus takes his place. A man arrives at the Pearly Gates.
Jesus: Hello. Name?
Man: Joseph.
Jesus: What did you do for a living?
Man: Well...I was a carpenter.
Jesus: Have you made any good to humanity?
Man: Oh yes. I raised a child that revolutionized the world.
After along pause... Of thinking how much of a coincidence it is... Of re-reading what he wrote down. Jesus look up. Tears in his eyes.
Jesus: DAD?!
Man: PINOCCHIO!
A polar bear walks into a bar
A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a Bud Lite. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and coke.
The bartender asks What's with the big pause?
The bear responds: I dunno... I've just always had them.
You're about to deliver a great punchline to a blues-rock legend, but you pause for comedic timing.
Tom Waits.
A climber fell off a cliff, and, as he tumbled down, he caught hold of a small branch.
"Help! Is there anybody up there?" he shouted.
A majestic voice boomed through the gorge:
"I will help you, my son, but first you must have faith in me."
"Yes, yes, I trust you!" cried the man.
"Let go of the branch," boomed the voice.
There was a long pause, and the man shouted up again, "Is there anybody else up there?"
Menopause
Men On Pause
What word best describes a brief pause and the noise a triangle makes?
Commanding
Two Irishmen sitting in a car
Maclea : stick your head out the window and tell me if the indicator is working"
Torrance : sure thing
[Pause]
Torrance : Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no
I was at the optometrist's office yesterday. I asked if we could pause the test because I really needed to go to the bathroom.
He asked, "Number one or number two?".
Ukrainian mother persuades her son to marry
M: Look at Marina. She is beautiful, intelligent, loves movies and theater.
S: I do not want her.
M: Look at Olena. She cooks well, her house is always orderly.
S: I do not want her.
M: So who do you want?
S: Mom, I love my neighbor Sergei.
(pause)
M: But he's Russian, after all.
