Pattern Jokes
34 pattern jokes and hilarious pattern puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pattern that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Pattern Short Jokes
Short pattern jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pattern humour may include short scheme jokes also.
- One stolen joke is a coincidence. Two stolen jokes is a pattern. Thirty stolen jokes is an Amy Schumer special.
- I saw this really fit girl in the nightclub last night and she was wearing a chessboard patterned shirt... So, I made a move on her.
- I feel the same way about slaves as I do shirts with flame patterns on them I don't want to be friends with anyone who owns either of them
- A maniac is on the loose after stabbing 6 people with a knitting needle... Early reports from the police suggest he is following some kind of pattern...
- TIL there's a scientific term for aquatic mammals losing their fur through evolution It's called Whale Pattern Baldness.
- There is a serial killer currently on the loose He has been murdering people with knitting needles. Police think he is following some kind of pattern.
- Sleep patterns are fascinating. There's light sleep, where your heart rate slows; deep sleep, where you can't easily be wakened; and REM sleep, where you lose your religion.
- 4 Weather Patterns Are In A Race Sunny gets gold.
Cloudy gets silver.
Snowy gets bronze.
And Rainy gets a precipitation award. - I rub bacteria on peoples faces to make cool patterns of acne. I Guess you could call me a breakout artist.
- Your guy didn't know any puns about colourful, diamond patterned socks. But argyle know some.
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Pattern One Liners
Which pattern one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pattern? I can suggest the ones about shape and model.
- What do Zoologists and Chess players both get excited over? Mating patterns
- I can't define "pattern matching" ...but I know it when I see it.
- Why are programmers so good at poetry? Well, all words rhyme in binary.
- What's the best pattern for a banker's suit? Checks!
- Did you hear that quilter was finally arrested? She had a pattern of misconduct.
- There is a pattern that every clickbait has but you failed to see it.
- New slogan for camo-pattern condoms They'll never see you coming
- Wonder Woman... What pattern does Wonder Woman have on her pants?........
Hand prints!! - What was a t**... stamp in the 19th century? A slattern pattern
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Pattern Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about pattern you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean style jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pattern pranks.
Three men were about to be executed by the firing squad.
The first man was brought forward and before they could shoot him he yelled "avalanche"! The firing squad panicked and in the confusion, the man jumped over the wall and into freedom before the firing squad could regroup.
The second man thought what the first man did was clever and when he was brought forward for his execution, he yelled "earthquake"! Again, the firing squad panicked and the second man took advantage of it to jump over the wall and into freedom.
The third man thought he saw the pattern: yell a disaster and jump over the wall. When he was finally brought forward, with a smirk on his face he yelled "fire"!
[Translated] A man saw a good deal and bought 20 p**... of the same pattern and color to his wife.
Wife : Oh My God,now people will think I never change my p**....
Husband : Which people?
(Hope the joke didnt get lost in translation)
My hair is receding at my temples, making my hairline look like the flap of an envelope.
g**... mail pattern baldness...
Yo moma is so s**.......
she could observe the particles in the double slit experiment and still get an interference pattern
An American is moving to Britain...
...So he decides to learn the british way of spelling things. So he spoke to a Brit he knew and he was told the following:
"So: Color turns into colour. Harbor turns into harbour. honor becomes honour. Starting to notice a pattern?"
So he writes an e-mail to his new boss:
"Good mourning sir....
Today there's been another gruesome m**... by the killer that police have nicknamed "The knitting needles killer"
Police fear he may be working to a pattern
I am on the case prep team in law school. Our new fact pattern is based on the Sandusky Trial. What do you think of my theme for trial?
Coach Toledo may have been head coach of the Cougars, but he was not interested in the cougars. Coach Toledo was interested in the cubs.
Many years ago, there was a very lazy fencing duellist
In one of his most notable bouts, against the Marquis of Mod, his opponent noticed a very glaring pattern.
Upon exploiting this weakness and winning the duel, the Marquis approached the lazy duellist and questioned his methods-
"Why, may I ask, do you always seem to attack upon completing your parries?", he asked in a rather bemused fashion.
The lethargic duellist admitted, "It is because I know that riposting requires the least effort"
Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first orders one beer.
The second orders half a beer.
The third orders a quarter of a beer
This pattern continues for a few more, and then the bartender stops them, and pours two beers.
"Why'd you do that?" Asked the first guy.
"Come on guys. I thought you knew your limits." Said the bartender.
Dads Anonymous
Dad: Go on, it's safe here.
Me: Sometimes I don't cut the grass in a pattern
*One dad vomits, another stops grilling entirely*
I keep getting fired...
...and every time it happens, I walk into the Human Resources manager's office to find an alien sitting there coring apples with its pharyngeal jaws. Starting to see a pattern, I've come up with a device that will let me know *before* I enter the office, so I can merely pack up my things and go. I call it the HR Giger Counter.
I know a teen girl who can only think of numbers that follow the pattern 1+2x where x is a real whole number
She can't even...
Been reading about instinctive behaviors. Apparently, my natural reaction to seeing an attractive woman is a Fixed Action Pattern (in short, FAP).
TIL Kung Fu masters cut up their pizzas in a bullseye pattern
So they can get inner pieces.
Disturbing Pattern of Suicides
When some scientists plotted the number of suicides per year, they discovered a curious pattern. Every four years, there would be a spike in the number.
This baffled them, until the old janitor said: "Perhaps it was not a good idea to call them leap years."
Did you hear about the anemic guy that cut all the grass on earth in a square pattern?
He mow globe in cells
Last year for Easter, we got these cool egg decorating kits, with markers, stickers, stencils etc.
I was trying to do an elaborate floral pattern on my eggs, but the stencil kept slipping. I got reeeeally distraught. More distraught than I had any right to be. But no matter how much I concentrated, I couldn't get the stencil to stay in the right place.
I was having an eggs n' stencil crisis.
