Patronizing Jokes
28 patronizing jokes and hilarious patronizing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about patronizing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Patronizing Short Jokes
Short patronizing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The patronizing humour may include short condescending jokes also.
- Pavlov is sitting at a bar... ...when another patron walks in and a bell on the door rings. Pavlov stands up, says, "I forgot to feed the dogs," and leaves.
- Restaurant patron: Waiter, I'd like a bottle of wine. Waiter: What year, sir?
Patron: Well, I'd like it right now. - What do AMC and Robinhood have in common? Like AMC, Robinhood is asking their patrons to please turn their cell phones off as they are disturbing its customers.
- What do you call an arrogant patronizing thief coming down the stairs? A condescending con descending.
- what do you call a patronizing criminal walking down stairs a condescending con descending
- Why did the feminist's bakery go out of business? She told people to stop patronizing her.
- A pub near my house has a calculus trivia night They want their patrons to drink and derive
- Did you hear about the guy that escaped from a loony bin, went to the laundromat and assaulted some patrons, then ran away? The headline in the paper read,
> Nut Screws Washers and Bolts. - So a rhino walks into a bar... and several patrons pay their tabs and leave because they see the danger in this situation.
- Since passing my art exam, I've become very patronizing. If you don't know what that means, I'll draw you a picture.
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Patronizing One Liners
Which patronizing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with patronizing? I can suggest the ones about mocking and patrons.
- Why did the accordionist cross the road? To escape from the angry mob of bar patrons.
- Who the patron saint of surveillance? St Francis of a CCTV.
- Who is the patron saint of 'reply all'? St. Francis of a CC
- Two bears walk into a bar. All the patrons ran out of the back screaming.
- Nigel Farage walks into a bar Convinces the patrons to set it on fire, and then leaves.
- Who is the patron saint of copying people into emails? St. Francis of a CC
- How does Harry Potter order tequila shots? Patron us!
- Some people say I'm condescending. That's when you patronize someone BTW.
- Today I found out who the patron saint of silence is. It's St.Fu
- What do you call a patronizing criminal who happens to be skydiving? Condesending.
- ELI5 Why do I always feel like i'm being patronized?
- Do you even know what patronizing means?
- What did Harry Potter order when he went to the bar? Expecto-Patron-On-Ice
- A Rabbi and the Pope walk in a bar... A bar patron says, "Hey, what is this, a joke?"
- you can always vote with your pocketbook... just stop patronizing all google products
Heartwarming Patronizing Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about patronizing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean arrogant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make patronizing pranks.
The troubles of foreigners in Canada
A patron in a Montreal restaurant turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded.
"This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked 'C' gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, 'C' stands for chaud – French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."
"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked 'C'."
"Of course," said the manager. "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
**
A Sith, a Jedi, and a Mandalorian walk into a bar...
They start talking and after a few drinks the conversation shifts to cars. The Jedi living a life of austerity and frugality only has a 1991 Camry. The Sith and Mando laughs at him saying he has a Bad Car. The Sith having manipulated others into giving him their wealth shows off his McClaren F1. The patrons at the bar are amazed and even the Jedi has to admit it's a nice ride. They both end up saying it's a Good Car. The Mandalorian walks around the corner and after a few minutes comes screaming back on his jet pack and blows up the other cars. He has the Beskar.
A Native American walks into an Old West saloon followed shortly by a bear
The patrons freeze in fear, and the saloonkeeper points to the native American man and whispers "There's a bear right behind you!"
The Native American man holds up a calm hand and says, "I can explain. Bear with me."
A guy walks into a bar and sees that there are dozens of cuts of meat hanging from the ceiling.
Confused, he asks the bartender why this is.
Well, it's a promotion we are running. If you can jump up and grab one, you get a free New York s**... dinner, on us! But, if you attempt to do so and miss, you gotta buy one for every person here instead.
The guy takes a moment to scan the bar, counting up the number of patrons in his head, before turning to the bartender and replying
Ah, no thanks. The steaks are too high.
———
Shout out to my dad for telling me this joke dozens of times throughout my life. It never fails to get a laugh outta a new crowd. Thanks Joe, you da best.
A duck walks into a bar...
And orders a hundred bottles of scotch.
The bartender says, "That's gonna be pretty expensive. How are you gonna pay for all that liquor?"
The duck replies, "Just put it on my tab."
A nearby bar patron cheekily says, "Don't you mean 'put it on my bill'?"
The duck says to the bartender, "Okay, put it on his bill."
An irate woman bursts through the doors of a bar, angrily screaming, "All lawyers are a**...!" This enrages a patron at the end of the bar, who stands up and shouts, "Hey! I take offense to that!"
"Why?" she asks, sneering at him, "You a lawyer or something?"
"No," he retorts, "I'm an a**...!"
An armed masked man bursts into a bank yelling "EVERYBODY PUT YOUR HANDS UP, THIS IS A ROBBERY!"
The patrons and staff, terrified, comply.
He's loading up his sack with cash when his mask slips off. He quickly pulls it back up and sees two guys who may have seen his face. He points his gun at the first.
"Did you see my face?"
"Yes"
BANG, he shoots him.
He then points it at the second guy.
"Did you see my face?"
The second guy points at a woman sitting far off in the reception area.
"No, but my mother in law did!"
A pirate walks into a bar...
...with a ships wheel on his c**.... One of the patrons says "Hey, you knw you got a ships wheel on your c**..., right?" To which the pirate replies "Aye, it's drivin' me nuts!"
A guy walks into a bar...
A guy walks into a bar.
the bartender asks, "what can I get you?"
The patron responds, "just a fruit punch for me, I'm driving"
The bartender says, "great, but you have to get in line."
The patron stops and looks around only to reply, "I don't see a punchline..."
For some reason, all my friends think I'm too patronizing
That means they think I talk to people like they're s**....
Good Polish Joke
A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of Polish v**.... As the bartender slides the drink to the patron, a man sitting next to him remarks, "That's a coincidence, I, too, am enjoying a Polish v**.... Since
I arrived from the old country, this is the only bar in which I have found it."
To which the first replies, "Old country, I'm from the old country. Let me buy you another!"
As the drinks are being poured, one of the men asks, "What part of the old country are you from?"
"Krakow," replies the other. "This is weird," says the first, "I, too, am from Krakow! Let's get another shot."
After the new round arrives, the first asks, "So, pal, what did you do back in Krakow?'
"Not much, really, I came here right out of high school. I graduated from l**... Walesa Technical Academy in '81."
"This is eerie," replies the other, "I'm Welesa Tech, '81. Let's get another shot." But the bartender says, "Slow down fellas, I gotta make a call."
The bartender calls his wife and tells her that he'll be late getting home. When she inquires as to the cause, he replies, "Oh, the friggin' Liszjewski twins are here again."
Thought up this one in class today. (OC) "What did the one gravedigger say to the other as they lowered the body of a patronizing embezzler into his grave?"
"It's always nice to see a condescending con descending".
