The Best 44 Patriots Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Patriots jokes. There are some patriots superbowl jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these patriots new england patriots puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Patriots Jokes and Puns
What do you call a room full of men watching the Super Bowl on a big screen TV?
The Patriots
BREAKING NEWS: Patriots admit Tim Tebow hired by mistake.
After tight end Aaron Hernandez request for white Bronco.
I don't really care for the New England Patriots, but
Lance Armstrong used a deflated ball for years and no one said anything.
What do the Patriots and Lance Armstrong have in common?
They only have one good ball.
This weekend the Patriots defeated the Colts in the AFC championship game by a score of 45-7...
But, this week it would be 38-14, adjusted for inflation.
I heard the New England Patriots were going to be a little late to the Super Bowl
Someone deflated all of the tires on the team bus.
The weather in New England meant they had to delay the victory parade for the Patriots.
They must feel really deflated.
The Patriots asked the Seahawks: "Do you want to win the Super Bowl?"
The Seahawks replied: "Nah, we'll pass."
What do the Patriots and Measles have in common?
They both got to go to Disneyland, because some idiot decided to pass on something.
A liar, a murderer, and a cheater walk into a bar.
The New England Patriots must be in town.
If the shortened nickname for the Buccaneers is the Bucs, the Jaguars are the Jags, and the Patriots are the Pats...
Then what do we call the Titans?
You can explore patriots broncos reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean patriots nfl dad jokes. There are also patriots puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I don't understand why the Lions and Vikings get to play on thanksgiving.
Shouldn't the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium?
I only date Patriots fans
Because they don't care if I cheat
It's cool how today everyone is applauding patriots for standing up for human rights...
...and by next Sunday everyone will be back to hating the Patriots again
How will Tom Brady feel if the Patriots lose?
Deflated.
I totally forgot the Super Bowl was tonight!
Don't worry; so did the ~~Patriots~~ Falcons.
The Patriots
The pats shoulda subbed Bush in, he got more yards on that wheelchair than Blount did all game. #riseup
The Patriots can still win...
By Electoral College votes.
The Patriots are true gentlemen.
They let the Falcons finish their game before they started theirs.
Did you hear they asked Aaron Hernandez if he wanted to watch the Patriots visit to The White House on the rec room TV?
He said, "No thanks I'll just hang in my cell"
The Patriots visit to the White House was so GREAT...
it left Aaron Hernandez choked up and ultimately breathless
What is the official snack food of the Boston Red Sox and New England Patriots?
Cheat-o's
Why do people think it's best to marry a Patriots fan?
They're ok with cheating.
The Queen of England doesn't know much about American football...
But she does wish someone would do something about those troublesome Patriots.
Patriots fans are being charged more money for Super Bowl tickets.
It's because of inflation.
That Patriots player that just got tackled in the crotch....
Is he their new leading sacker?
I'm relieved the Patriots lost...
No patriot I know would ever beat an eagle.
It's a tie dad
My dad asked me to update him on the game, since he'd been in the kitchen for a long while and the patriots were down.
I responded with my epiphany that the entire thing, my entire existence, was just a tide ad.
I think he thought it was a tie, since he regained a bit hope. I'm sorry Dad, there was no tie. Fly eagles fly.
Patriots TE Rob Gronkowski had his house broken into according to police report.
The investigator on the case told the media that he must have forgotten his Rob Gronkhousekey.
The Patriots had to re-sod their field.
Even the grass wont root for them.
Super Bowl Halftime
At halftime it's Maroon 5 Patriots 3 Rams 0
How do you get a Rams fan to stop beating his wife?
Put her in a Patriots jersey
What do Patriots fans and horse flies have in common?
They're both annoying.
There is only one thing more annoying than the 877-kars-4-kids commercials....
Any Patriots fan this morning.
What does patriots stand for
Pay
All
The
Refs
In
Order
To
Succeed
Was nice to see the Rams and Patriots
make it to the Maroon 5 concert last night
The tater tots I took to my friend's super bowl party..
were just like the Patriots.
A little old, but seasoned to perfection...
The date for Superbowl 2020 has been announced as Sunday, February 2 ...
They haven't yet announced who the Patriots will be playing.
What's the official electro-pop band of the New England Patriots?
Kraftjerk
Congrats to the Patriots on their 7th ring,
Super Bowls XXXVI (2001), XXXVIII (2003), XXXIX (2004), XLIX (2014), LI (2016), LIII (2018), Prostitution Ring (2019)!
Why have the Patriots won so many Super Bowls?
Because the owner really likes a happy ending.
Big game today in D.C...
Patriots vs The Stealers.
They're only called patriots if they come from the Pat region in France
otherwise, they are just sparkling riots
I keep reading about all these patriots, draped in bright colors and repeating exactly what is said to them, though without any real understanding.
Did they maybe mean to write "parrots?"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the patriots seahawks jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working patriots patriots fans piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.