Patriotic Jokes

46 patriotic jokes and hilarious patriotic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about patriotic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the humorously patriotic jokes about American policies, the national anthem, and the flag. Explore the lighthearted side of patriotism with these laugh-out-loud jokes.

Funniest Patriotic Short Jokes

Short patriotic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The patriotic humour may include short patriots jokes also.

  1. I think the most patriotic part of the entire super bowl was Rihanna's halftime performance Because there's nothing more American than for a woman to work while she's pregnant.
  2. I totally forgot the Super Bowl was tonight! Don't worry; so did the ~~Patriots~~ Falcons.
  3. I wrote an essay about American Patriotism Then I pointed at it and started shouting ' You Essay! You Essay!'
  4. What do the Patriots and Measles have in common? They both got to go to Disneyland, because some idiot decided to pass on something.
  5. They're only called patriots if they come from the Pat region in France otherwise, they are just sparkling riots
  6. I keep reading about all these patriots, draped in bright colors and repeating exactly what is said to them, though without any real understanding. Did they maybe mean to write "parrots?"
  7. Putin's propagandists on TV said nuclear war is fine because patriotic Russians will go to Heaven. Heaven heard it and immediately applied to join NATO!
  8. What do you call a room full of men watching the Super Bowl on a big screen TV? The Patriots
  9. The Patriots are true gentlemen. They let the Falcons finish their game before they started theirs.
  10. What's the most patriotic branch of the United States military? air force.
    Because they are United States AF.

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Patriotic One Liners

Which patriotic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with patriotic? I can suggest the ones about nationalist and patriot fan.

  1. Super Bowl Halftime At halftime it's Maroon 5 Patriots 3 Rams 0
  2. Which of the American forces is the most patriotic? The Air Force, because its US AF.
  3. What do the Patriots and Lance Armstrong have in common? They only have one good ball.
  4. I'm relieved the Patriots lost... No patriot I know would ever beat an eagle.
  5. Big game today in D.C... Patriots vs The Stealers.
  6. How do you get a Rams fan to stop beating his wife? Put her in a Patriots jersey
  7. Was nice to see the Rams and Patriots make it to the Maroon 5 concert last night
  8. I only date Patriots fans Because they don't care if I cheat
  9. The Air Force is the most patriotic branch of the military Cuz they USAF
  10. The Patriots can still win... By Electoral College votes.
  11. What does patriots stand for Pay
  12. Generally, when Communist countries get patriotic… it's a big red flag
  13. What do Patriots fans and horse flies have in common? They're both annoying.
  14. The Patriots had to re-sod their field. Even the grass wont root for them.
  15. What do you call a display of Australian patriotism? Stockholm Syndrome.

Patriotic American Jokes

Here is a list of funny patriotic american jokes and even better patriotic american puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • As a true American Patriot I always put phone numbers I want to ignore under the contact "Freedom" Because I always let Freedom Ring.
  • Patriotism. Being in the American military gives one the rare and distinctively American opportunity to live under a bridge that may one day be posthumously dedicated to you.
  • I wanted to get into the right mood for my essay about american patriotism.. so i shouted at my essay "You Essay", "You Essay", "YOU ESSAY"
  • The Queen of England doesn't know much about American football... But she does wish someone would do something about those troublesome Patriots.
  • I'm a great American for three reasons Because I'm:
    And great at math
  • How do you know if a programmer is a patriotic American? If they remember Perl Harbor.
  • What the american patriots like the most? The Stars and Stripes made in China
Patriotic joke, What the american patriots like the most?

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Patriotic Jokes with Friends.

What funny jokes about patriotic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean patriots fans jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make patriotic pranks.

..Trump said "Buy american, Hire american"

Standing on an Ikea podium from *Sweden*, behind bullet proof by Saint Gobain Glass from *France*, smiling at a 4K Sony *Japanese* Video camera, speaking into a Dolby Sennheiser *German* microphone, with vigorous hand gestures giving a glimpse of a Rolex under the cuff made in *Switzerland*
he patriotically said ..*"Buy American, Hire American, Stop Immigrants".* while standing beside a *Slovenian wife*

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Welshman, and a Scotsman are all on a hot air balloon.

The conductor almost panicked says, there's too much weight! Someone needs to jump off, or we're going to c**...! The Welshman bravely steps up, For the glory of wales! And the Welshman throws himself off. The conductor still panicked says, okay, we're close but there is still too much weight! The Irishman, in a patriotic manner yells, For Ireland! And throws the Englishman off


A nurse was taking care of a soldier in the Army Hospital.
"How I wish I could kiss the American flag before I die," the soldier said.
The nurse was extremely touched by the soldier's patriotism and said, "I have a tattoo of the American flag on my bottom. You may kiss it if you don't mind."
"Of course I wouldn't mind. Thank you for fulfilling my last wish," the soldier said.
The nurse took off her p**... and the dying soldier kissed the flag.
"Thank you, nurse," he said "Now would you be so kind as to turn around so that I could kiss Bush too?"

A liar, a m**..., and a cheater walk into a bar.

The New England Patriots must be in town.

I don't understand why the Lions and Vikings get to play on thanksgiving.

Shouldn't the Patriots play the r**..., and then steal their stadium?

With the situation in Ukraine...

Putin is giving a speech to his people
- My people, due Wests sanctions we'll need to tighten our belts and work harder!
Voice from the crowd:
- We will work two shifts!
- Thank you, you must be real patriot of our country! And we'll have to give up western goods and production!
- We will work three shifts!
- Such patriotism for country! By the way what's your occupation?
- I work at morgue...

Patriotic joke, I only date Patriots fans