Patriotic Jokes
44 patriotic jokes and hilarious patriotic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about patriotic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the humorously patriotic jokes about American policies, the national anthem, and the flag. Explore the lighthearted side of patriotism with these laugh-out-loud jokes.
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Funniest Patriotic Short Jokes
Short patriotic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The patriotic humour may include short patriots jokes also.
- I think the most patriotic part of the entire super bowl was Rihanna's halftime performance Because there's nothing more American than for a woman to work while she's pregnant.
- I totally forgot the Super Bowl was tonight! Don't worry; so did the ~~Patriots~~ Falcons.
- I wrote an essay about American Patriotism Then I pointed at it and started shouting ' You Essay! You Essay!'
- What do the Patriots and Measles have in common? They both got to go to Disneyland, because some idiot decided to pass on something.
- I keep reading about all these patriots, draped in bright colors and repeating exactly what is said to them, though without any real understanding. Did they maybe mean to write "parrots?"
- Putin's propagandists on TV said nuclear war is fine because patriotic Russians will go to Heaven. Heaven heard it and immediately applied to join NATO!
- What do you call a room full of men watching the Super Bowl on a big screen TV? The Patriots
- The Patriots are true gentlemen. They let the Falcons finish their game before they started theirs.
- BREAKING NEWS: Patriots admit tim tebow hired by mistake. After tight end Aaron Hernandez request for white Bronco.
- Did you hear they asked Aaron Hernandez if he wanted to watch the Patriots visit to The White House on the rec room TV? He said, "No thanks I'll just hang in my cell"
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Patriotic One Liners
Which patriotic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with patriotic? I can suggest the ones about nationalist and patriots fans.
- Super Bowl Halftime At halftime it's Maroon 5 Patriots 3 Rams 0
- Which of the American forces is the most patriotic? The air force, because its US AF.
- What do the Patriots and Lance Armstrong have in common? They only have one good ball.
- Big game today in D.C... Patriots vs The Stealers.
- Was nice to see the Rams and Patriots make it to the Maroon 5 concert last night
- I only date Patriots fans Because they don't care if I cheat
- The Air Force is the most patriotic branch of the military Cuz they USAF
- The Patriots can still win... By Electoral College votes.
- What does patriots stand for Pay
All
The
Refs
In
Order
To
Succeed - Generally, when Communist countries get patriotic… it's a big red flag
- The Patriots had to re-sod their field. Even the grass wont root for them.
- What do you call a display of Australian patriotism? Stockholm Syndrome.
- What is the official snack food of the Boston Red Sox and New England Patriots? Cheat-o's
- How will Tom Brady feel if the Patriots lose? Deflated.
- What does a patriotic cholo love the most? You, esse!
Patriotic American Jokes
Here is a list of funny patriotic american jokes and even better patriotic american puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- As a true American Patriot I always put phone numbers I want to ignore under the contact "Freedom" Because I always let Freedom Ring.
- Patriotism. Being in the American military gives one the rare and distinctively American opportunity to live under a bridge that may one day be posthumously dedicated to you.
- I'm a great American for three reasons Because I'm:
Brave
Patriotic
Humble
And great at math - How do you know if a programmer is a patriotic American? If they remember Perl Harbor.
- What the american patriots like the most? The Stars and Stripes made in China
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Patriotic Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about patriotic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean american flag jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make patriotic pranks.
..Trump said "Buy american, Hire american"
Standing on an Ikea podium from *Sweden*, behind bullet proof by Saint Gobain Glass from *France*, smiling at a 4K Sony *Japanese* Video camera, speaking into a Dolby Sennheiser *German* microphone, with vigorous hand gestures giving a glimpse of a Rolex under the cuff made in *Switzerland*
he patriotically said ..*"Buy American, Hire American, Stop Immigrants".* while standing beside a *Slovenian wife*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Englishman, an Irishman, a Welshman, and a Scotsman are all on a hot air balloon.
The conductor almost panicked says, there's too much weight! Someone needs to jump off, or we're going to c**...! The Welshman bravely steps up, For the glory of wales! And the Welshman throws himself off. The conductor still panicked says, okay, we're close but there is still too much weight! The Irishman, in a patriotic manner yells, For Ireland! And throws the Englishman off
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Patriotism
A nurse was taking care of a soldier in the Army Hospital.
"How I wish I could kiss the American flag before I die," the soldier said.
The nurse was extremely touched by the soldier's patriotism and said, "I have a tattoo of the American flag on my bottom. You may kiss it if you don't mind."
"Of course I wouldn't mind. Thank you for fulfilling my last wish," the soldier said.
The nurse took off her p**... and the dying soldier kissed the flag.
"Thank you, nurse," he said "Now would you be so kind as to turn around so that I could kiss Bush too?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm relieved the Patriots lost...
No patriot I know would ever beat an eagle.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A liar, a m**..., and a cheater walk into a bar.
The New England Patriots must be in town.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't understand why the Lions and Vikings get to play on thanksgiving.
Shouldn't the Patriots play the r**..., and then steal their stadium?
With the situation in Ukraine...
Putin is giving a speech to his people
- My people, due Wests sanctions we'll need to tighten our belts and work harder!
Voice from the crowd:
- We will work two shifts!
- Thank you, you must be real patriot of our country! And we'll have to give up western goods and production!
- We will work three shifts!
- Such patriotism for country! By the way what's your occupation?
- I work at morgue...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you get a Rams fan to stop beating his wife?
Put her in a Patriots jersey
An American patriot with amputated arms decides to replace them.
He obtains a pair of grizzly bear arms from a black market, and attaches them on his own, with the help of a friend.
He is arrested for contribution to animal cruelty and performing medical procedures unlicensed.
When taken to court, he gives a speech defending his right to bear arms.
