Patrick Jokes
146 patrick jokes and hilarious patrick puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about patrick that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Need a laugh? Look no further than the hysterical Patrick Jokes! From Patrick Star to Patrick Bateman, find out how the Patrick name has created all sorts of hilarious puns and one-liners. Along with the usual Irish reference to Patrick and Shane, get ready for jokes involving Dennis, Liam, and many more. Start your day with a smile every time you hear these Patrick Jokes!
Quick Jump To
- Short Patrick Jokes
- Patrick One Liners
- St Patrick Day Jokes
- Patrick Irish Jokes
- Patrick Name Jokes
- Patrick Star Jokes
- More Patrick Jokes
Funniest Patrick Short Jokes
Short patrick jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The patrick humour may include short patrick star jokes also.
- What did Saint Patrick say when he drove all the snakes out of Ireland? "Everyone got seat belts on back there?"
- What's the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day.
- I bought a diamond ring on St. Patricks day but found out it was a fake They gave me a sham rock
- What are the names of the first two men to get married under the new Irish gay marriage law? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick
- Patrick Rothfuss, Robert Jordan, and George RR Martin walk into a bar... I'll finish writing this later
- What do you call a bulletproof Irishman? Rick O'Shea. (ricochet)
Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!!! - St. Patrick's day vs martin luther king jr. Day. What's the difference between St. Patrick's day and Martin Luther King day?
St. Patrick's day everybody wants to be Irish. - This St. Patrick's day I drank too much and had to take a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before.
- What's the only major difference between Cinco de mayo and Saint Patrick's day? Nobody wants to pretend to be a Mexican for a day.
- Did you hear about the gay Irish couple... ...names were Michael Fitzpatrick, and Patrick Fitzmichael.
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Patrick One Liners
Which patrick one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with patrick? I can suggest the ones about patrick name and patrick irish.
- What do you call two gay irish men? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick
- I can't find a single Ekans here in Ireland with Pokemon Go. Thanks, St Patrick
- Ever hear of the gay irish couple? Patrick fitzgerald and gerald fitzpatrick
- What do you call 2 gay Irishmen? Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael
- SpongeBob may be the main character in the show… ..but Patrick is the star.
- Hear about the two gay Irishmen? William Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzwilliam.
- Why is Spongebob the main character When Patrick is clearly the star?
- Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish couple? Ryan Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzryan
- What do you call two gay Irish guys? Ryan Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzryan.
- Did you hear about the 2 gay Irish men? Kevin Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzkevin.
- Happy St. Patrick's Day! I told an Irishman a dad joke. He was Dublin over with laughter.
- What do you call a gay Irish couple? John Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzjohn
- In honor of St. Patrick's Day... Three Irishmen walk out of a bar.
- Did you hear about the gay Irish couple? Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitsmichael.
- How come Spongebob is the main character? When Patrick is the star.
St Patrick Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny st patrick day jokes and even better st patrick day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's Irish and lays out on your lawn all night after your St. Patrick's Day party? Patty O'furniture
- Irish Jokes Megathread Post all of your Irish, St. Patrick's Day, or good ol' Emerald Isle jokes for the day here! I'd like to share some with coworkers.
- What do you call a leprechaun's prank? A St. Pat-trick! Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone!
- What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Cinco De Mayo? On Cinco De Mayo, not everybody pretends to be Mexican.
- What band should you listen to on St. Patrick's day? Green Day
- Samuel L. Jackson is going to be playing St. Patrick in a new movie. His first job will be to get some Snakes off a plain.
Happy St. Patrick's Day! - In honour of St Patrick's day, can you guess my Irish name? Pat MiGroin.
Yeah, my grandpa just told me that one...some visual images cannot be unseen. - A joke for St Patrick's Day. "An Irishman walks out of a bar." Well, theoretically, it could happen...
- In honor of St. Patrick's day I'm here to tell you everything I know about leprechauns. Very little
- Happy St Patrick's Day! If you can't kiss the Blarney Stone today, just use a fake substitute. Any sham rock will do.
Patrick Irish Jokes
Here is a list of funny patrick irish jokes and even better patrick irish puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the perfect Irish gay couple? Patrick Fitzwilliam and William Fitzpatrick
- Did you hear the one about the two gay Irish dudes? Patrick Fitzhenry and Henry Fitzpatrick
- Have you heard about the 2 gay Irish men... Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael
- What do you call two contented gay Irish men? Henry Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzhenry
- I met a gay Irish couple today Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald
- Happy St. Patricks Day. Where we honor a patron saint by drinking ourselves into unconsciousness. Or as the Irish call it...breakfast.
- I once knew a gay Irish couple. Their names were Patrick Fitzmichael and Michael Fitzpatrick
- How did the two Irish gay guys know they were meant for each other? Their names are Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.
- St. Patrick's Day... It's the closest Irish will ever get to Christmas.
- What's the difference between MLK day and St Patrick's day? Nobody minds being Irish for one day!!!!
Patrick Name Jokes
Here is a list of funny patrick name jokes and even better patrick name puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Read a book about gay marriage in Ireland The authors' names are: Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.
- Did you read that book on gay marriage by the two Irishmen? Their names are Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick.
- What were the names of the gay Irishmen? ...Hugh Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzhugh
- 2 Scotsmen are 69ing. What are their names? Patrick FitzGerald and Gerald FitzPatrick.
- Two gay Irishmen decided to change their names. They became William Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzwilliam
- My friend Patrick left the country and changed his name He is now an expat
- The first gay wedding will be taking place in Ireland next week The men's names are Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.
- Did you see the obituary for the guy who killed himself? His name was Patrick Kilpatrick
- If Patrick Star were a rapper what would his rap name be? Pusha P
- Two Irishmen wrote a book about the joys of gay marriage. Their names are Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick.
Patrick Star Jokes
Here is a list of funny patrick star jokes and even better patrick star puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Spongebob might be the main character But Patrick is the real star.
- Why is the show called SpongeBob when... Patrick is the star. Hurr durr. Tee-hee.
- Why are some Americans boycotting the Netflix show 'A Series Of Unfortunate Events'? Because it stars Kneel Patrick Harris.
- Spongebob isn't the star of his own show. Patrick is.
- Just in: Neil Patrick Harris is starring in a new afro-american sitcom! How I met yo mama
- What did the French-Canadian starfish deviant say to Patrick Star? 'Allo Patrick
- Patrick Star is so clueless It's like he lives under a rock or something
- If I had a nickel for every time Patrick Star said something s**...... >!I have 3 dollars.!<
- Did you know that Patrick Star does h**...? NEEDLE NEEDLE NEEDLE
Comical & Quirky Patrick Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about patrick you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean st patrick day jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make patrick pranks.
The company that makes the Opera browser have asked Sir Patrick Stewart to redesign their logo
They want him to make its O.
What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?
Engage.
The Bacon tree
p**... and Patrick have been lost in the desert after the war for a week with no food or water when they spot a tree in the distance ,p**... says to Patrick look its a bacon tree we can get a bacon sandwich its full of sides of bacon, Patrick says to p**... you go on and get me one as I can't go any farther, so p**... goes on after a few minuets p**... comes running back and shouts to Patrick quick run its not a bacon tree
it's a ham bush
A Drink for Each of My Brothers
Patrick walked into a pub and sat down at the bar. He asked for three individual shots of whiskey, and the bartender said "you know, I can put that all in one glass for you." Patrick said, "no no, see, I have two brothers who live far away. This drink is for Finnigan, this one is for Fergus, and this one is for me. And when I drink them, it's like we're all together again." So a few months go by, Patrick having his three drinks in the bar on a regular basis, and one night he came in and said "I think we'll only be needing two glasses today." The bartender stopped, cold, and said "What happened? Did something happen?" Patrick said, "oh no, my brothers are fine, it's just that I've decided to quit drinking."
Why did the two gay Irish like each other?
William Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitz. Willams
St. Patricks Day
Whenever people pinch me on Saint Patricks Day, I punch them.
Because whatever you do with "I" I do with "U"
For the Day that's in it: What did Saint Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?
Are ye alright in the back there lads?
Ireland had it's first gay marriage today.
It was between Michael Fitzpatrick, and Patrick Fitzmichael.
the most famous person in the history of the world
The teacher addressed his class,"I'll give five dollars to anybody who can name the most famous person in the history of the world."
An Irish boy raised his hand and said,"St. Patrick."
"Sorry Seamus, that's not correct."
Then a French boy raised his hand and said,"Napoleon."
The teacher replied,"I'm sorry, Jean, that's not right either."
Finally, a Jewish boy raised his hand and answered,"Jesus Christ."
"That's right, David! You win the five dollars. Congratulations!" As the teacher was handing over the cash he said,"You know David, I'm surprised you said Jesus Christ."
"Yeah, in my heart I knew it was Moses. But business is business."
Doogie Houser isn't getting shorter when he gets a haircut
Neil Patrick hair is
I met a gay couple in Ireland the other day
Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald
It looks like Ireland is going to allow gay marriage
That's great news for Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.
Did you hear about the two gay Irishmen?
Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fits Michael
Did you hear the one about the gay couple who were perfect for each other?
Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.
TIL that in 2015 Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald became one of the first ever same s**... couples to get married in Ireland.
They're perfect for each other because Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.
What does Neil Patrick Harris call his toilet?
His d**... Houser
Two Irish men came down to give Mrs. O'Mally some bad news.
"We have some terrible news about your beloved husband, he fell into a vat of beer and drowned."
"Oh my poor Patrick" she moaned "At least he died a sudden death and didn't suffer."
"Well I don't know about that Mrs. O'Mally, he got out three times to go pee."
Patrick's School
Mother: "How was school today Patrick?"
Patrick: "It was great mom! Today we made explosives!"
Mother: "Wow, they do really fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick: "What school?"
What did you do in school today?
Mother: How was school today, Patrick?
Patrick: It was really great mom! Today we made explosives!
Mother: Ooh, they teach some very fancy stuff to kids these days! So, what will you do at school tomorrow?
Patrick: What school?
Why did Patrick Stewart shave his head?
So he could badly go where no man has gone before.
Did you hear about the couple of gay Irishmen?
Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.
The reason Patrick is always clueless
Is because he lives under a rock.
New book out on gay marriage by two Irishmen.
Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick.
An Irish gay wedding
Brian Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzbrian
What did St Patrick say when he was driving the snakes out of Ireland?
"Seat belts on in the back there guys, or there's no stopping at the shop."
What did renowned Little Shop of Horrors fan, Queen Elizabeth, say to Patrick Stewart at his knighting ceremony?
Kneel, Patrick Stewart.
A man and wife see a drunk guy
Ah, look at Patrick. says the wife.
Who's Patrick? says the husband.
The drunk guy, you know, we were a couple 10 years ago and he proposed to me back then. But I rejected him.
Good to see he's still celebrating.
Why did they put Patrick Henry in a submarine?
Because he said "Give me liberty or give me depth".
Patrick wants a bike...
For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 15-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $85,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."
The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"
Little Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be d**... if I'm staying here by myself with an $85,000 mortgage and no bike!"
An Irishman is drinking at a pub when God Himself appears to him
"Pat McGinty! If you don't stop your drinking, I'll make you smaller and smaller until you become a mouse!"
Shocked, Pat rushes home to think. His wife notices his duress and asks him what's wrong. Somberly, Patrick looks up and says "God just appeared to me. He told me we had to get rid of the cat."
What does Saint Patrick and the IRA have in common?
Both if them did a great job of driving vermin out if Ireland.
Big shout going out to St Patrick, who supposedly drove all the snakes out or Ireland.
But let's face it, thats clearly b**..., they didn't have cars back then
St Patrick wore green a lot, talked to snakes, and used magic . . .
He was a Slytherin, right?
Yesterday I finally told my kids that St. Patrick isn't real,
and it's been me putting the snakes under their pillows all these years.
Why does Patrick still have a Facebook account?
Because he has been living under a rock.
Have you heard the one about the two Irishmen who went to London to donate s**...?
Patrick missed the tube and Shamus came on the bus.
What did Patrick Stewart say when the clone he created to deal with trespassing Trekkies mistook him for a fan and threw him out?
Hoisted by my own Picard
Neil Patrick Harris and Elton John are so much alike...
I can never get them straight.
Why did patrick swayze put his newborn's crib in the middle of the nursery?
Because nobody puts baby in the corner.
Is the tale of St Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland just mythology?
No, it's hiss-story.
Patrick Stewart is talking about a new Stsr Trek show he will be in. There will be a disease or attack that wipes out all officers of a certain age, leaving Starfleet without any captains. So they bring in retired admirals to captain the ships.
It will be called "Geria-
I have two gay friends ...
Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick.
TIL Sir Patrick Stewart refuses to own an iPhone.
He prefers Androids!
A teacher is about to sing a song he made for his students
He then started:
-Joe, kiss my toe! Ferdinand, kiss my hand!
He abruptly stops singing and asks:
Why are you leaving the classroom, Patrick?
Have you heard the one about the gay Scottish couple?
Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.
Watch out for those St. Patrick's Day scammers
Just had a guy try to sell me a piece of stone he said was from Ireland and kissed by St Patrick. When I looked underneath it said 'Made in China.
Obviously a sham rock.
What did saint Patrick say when he drove all the snakes out of Ireland?
Seatbelts on the back.
What's Patrick Stewart's favourite scale of train?
N gauge
I made a clone of Patrick Stewart but something went terribly wrong.
The clone slammed me into a wall and lifted me by the neck. What could I do? I'd been hoisted by my own Picard.
George R. R. Martin, Patrick Rothfuss, and Scott l**... walk into a bar
I'll finish writing the rest of this joke soon.
George R. R. Martin, Patrick Rothfuss and Scott l**... walk into a bar
I'll finish writing this joke later
After many years in America, the local Korean owner of a convenience store was asked how it was that his name is Patrick Murphy.
When I come to America, there was long line of immigrants from all over the world. When immigration officer ask man in front of me where he comes from & what his name he tell him, " I'm from Ireland & my name is Patrick Murphy!" Then immigration officer writes his name down and tells him to go on to next line.
Then immigration officer ask me where I come from & my name and I tell him, " I am from Korean and my name is Sam Ting!"
So I was rewatching old seasons of spongebob and found this joke
Spongebob: *changes his shape to look like Texas*
Also Spongebob: hey Patrick what do I look like
Patrick: s**...
Spongebob: no I'm Texas
Patrick: what's the difference
*both laugh*
(I thought this might be relevant considering the mess in Texas right now about abortion, so here's a spongebob joke)
