Patio Jokes
26 patio jokes and hilarious patio puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about patio that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with Sophie Stevens' collection of Patio Jokes! Whether you're looking for the perfect addition to your garden or yard, or just a few fun jokes for a patio party, this round-up has something for everyone. Read on for the latest in patio furniture humor!
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Funniest Patio Short Jokes
Short patio jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The patio humour may include short porch jokes also.
- Told my secretary I was going to the patio for a break. She replied "If anyone calls, I'll tell them you're outstanding."
I love my secretary. My wife, not so much. - Two little girls are playing together when one say's to the other, "I found a contraceptive on the patio yesterday." A little confused, her friend responded by asking, "What the heck is a patio?"
- My wife won't be making it to family Christmas this year; She's got a black eye There was a misunderstanding, she said she wanted decking on the patio.
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Patio One Liners
Which patio one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with patio? I can suggest the ones about balcony and outdoor.
- I was nervous leaving my ex in the backyard with my wife. I'll put a patio on them later.
- what do Mike Tyson and outdoor patios have in common? They're both roofless.
- What do you call a boxer who enjoys landscape gardening in his spare time? Manny Patio
- What is Irish and stays on your deck? Patio furniture
- What language does a patio speak? Porch-uguese
- What does a pirate use to maintain his garden patio? A yarrrrd brush.
- What do you call a patio covered in waterfowl a Porch-o-geese
- What's Irish and sits out all night? Patio furniture.
- What's Irish and sits by the swimming pool? Patio Furniture
Hilarious Patio Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about patio you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean backyard jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make patio pranks.
How could I ever live without you?
An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says.
"I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you"
Her husband asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?" ... She replies, "It's me... talking to the wine."
A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist.
A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting on a Starbucks patio across from an abandoned building when a car pulls up, and two people get out and enter the building.
A few minutes go by, three people exit the building, get into the car and drive off.
"Hmm," says the physicist, "our original count must have been inaccurate."
"Ahh," says the biologist, "they must have reproduced!"
"Aha!" says the mathematician, "now if exactly one person enters the building, it will be empty again!"
The hawk on the patio
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Hey look at that big hawk out on the patio," he tells the bartender. "It looks like its eating some avocado toast." "Oh, that bird again," the bartender sighs. "I think its a Millennial Falcon."
A man sitting out on his back patio
A man sitting out on his back patio sees a deer randomly walk out of the woods. He notices it's a doe and for some reason she's walking a little funny. She's takes a few more steps toward him, stops, looks up directly at the man and whimpers out that's the last time I do that for Five Bucks .
A man with a family and a 5 year old daughter frequently visited his hot neighbour at her house in morning.
But the neighbour had a son who was about 6 years old. One day, as a way to distract and have some private time with his mother, he said
A: Go to the patio and look at my house to see if anyone's there. If you find anyone inform me.
The son went as usual to check the neogbour's house and returend after half an hour and he said
Son: i didnt see anyone except your daughter who stood on the patio for half an hour like me!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two eight year old boys are chatting...
Boy 1: 'I found a used c**... on our patio this morning.'
Boy 2: 'What's a patio?'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two older gentlemen are sitting in the patio drinking coffee. one of the gentlemen is accompanied by his dog.
The dog starts l**... himself and the dogless gentlemen says: I wish I could do that. The dog owner replies: you might want to pet him first.
A biologist, a physicist, and a mathematician...
A biologist, a physicist, and a mathematician are all eating on the patio of a restaurant. Across the street, they see two people walk into a building, and a few moments later three people walk out.
The biologist says, "Oh, they must have reproduced."
The physicist remarks, "There must have been some type of statistical error."
All are quiet for a long while before the mathematician says, "You know, if one more person walks into that building it will be empty."
