Patient Leg Jokes
25 patient leg jokes and hilarious patient leg puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about patient leg that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Patient Leg Short Jokes
Short patient leg jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The patient leg humour may include short patient jokes also.
- Hospital patient lying in bed: "Doctor, I can't feel my legs!" Doctor: "Yes, I'm sorry. We had to amputate your arms."
[A brief sketch from an ancient episode of 'Not The Nine O'Clock News'] - A patient is screaming 'I lost my leg' The doctor calmly points out 'no you haven't, see it's right there' and points to the other side of the room
- A patient wakes up and yells "I can't feel my legs!!!" The doctor says, "Of course you can't! I amputated your arms."
- A patient wakes up from surgery and exclaims 'Doctor! Doctor! What's wrong with me? I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replies: Yes, well I'm afraid we had to amputate both your arms.
- Patient asking... Patient asking: "Doctor, it hurts when I press my leg. It hurts, when I press my arm. It hurts, when I press my head. What's that?"Doctor: "You have a broken finger!"
- A patient tell the doctor "I can't stand the pain"... The doctor replies, "I know I amputated your legs."
- A patient wakes up after an accident He says, Doctor, Doctor! I can't feel my legs!
The Doctor replies, I know, I amputated your arms. - "Why can't I feel my legs?" asked the patient The doctor replied, "Because your arms have been blown off!"
- There's a new diabetes medication that may lead to amputation. Patients have also complained about the price of the medication. I guess it costs an arm and a leg.
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Patient Leg One Liners
Which patient leg one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with patient leg? I can suggest the ones about hospital patient and hind leg.
- Why did the celiac patient have to skip leg-day? Because he's allergic to glutes
Hilarious Patient Leg Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about patient leg you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean injured leg jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make patient leg pranks.
So Adam is sitting in the Garden of Eden...
... and he says, "God, I see that all of the other animals that you have created in this truly perfect world have a companion, a partner, someone to be with, share life with, and to love. Why is it that I am alone?" God pauses for a moment, and says "You know Adam, I'll work on that. Be patient, my son, I shall return to you in a week's time."
God labors for a week as only a being of such incredible omnipotence can labor, and after much exhausting work, he returns to Adam after a week has passed and reveals to him his creation.
Adam is speechless. After much gaping, he finally finds the words to say "God, she is beautiful, she is truly your most perfect creation. I must ask though, what will this cost me, for surely this cannot be free."
God says soberly "My son. I confess, to have a being of such beauty and grace, you must give me an arm and a leg. I can accept no other payment."
Adam weighs this for a moment, and then says, "How much can I get for a rib?"
A person goes to doctor. He has pain in every part of his body
Doctor: when you touch your leg, does it hurt?
Patient: yes
Doctor: when you touch your arm, does it hurt?
Patient: yes
Doctor: when you touch your head, does it hurt?
Patient: yes
Doctor: i think your finger is broken!
A guy goes to the doctor with a sore leg....
The doctor runs the normal tests and takes some x-rays. Unable to find the problem he finally decides to listen to the leg with his stethoscope, at the knee he hears "hey give me $5" at the calf he hears "hey give me $10" at the ankle he hears "hey give me$15". He takes off the stethoscope, looks up the patient and says " I have some bad news, your leg is broke in three places"
Doctor, Doctor.
DOCTOR. "Mr. Jones, I have some good news and some bad news"
PATIENT " I'll take the bad news first Doc."
DOCTOR "We'll have to amputate both your legs".
PATIENT. "My God, that's terrible, what's the good news?"
DOCTOR. The guy in the next bed wants to buy your shoes."
I have some good news....
Doctor: I have some good news and bad news.
Patient: Give me the bad.
Dr: We have to amputate both of your legs.
Patient: shock! The good?
Dr: The man in the other room wants to buy your shoes!
Doctor's news
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: I'll take the bad news first.
Doctor: I'm really sorry to have to tell you this but there was an error in your chart and I'm afraid we cut off the wrong leg.
Patient: WHAT THE HECK?!? That's not bad news. That's TERRIBLE news. What incompetent fools! You've ruined my life!!!
Doctor: Now hold on. You haven't heard the good news. I'm pleased to tell you that upon further study it turns out your other leg's going to be okay!
A doctor had news to his patient
I have good news and bad news for you Says the doctor
Give me the bad news first
I had to amputate both of your legs
And the good news? Says the patient
I'll buy your shoes for $100
Amputated
Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news. Which do you want first?
Patient: Give me the bad news first.
Doctor: We amputated the wrong leg.
Patient: What is the good news?
Doctor: Your other leg won't need to be amputated after all.
Doctor and patient
Doctor: I have the results here. I have good news and bad news. Which one do you want to hear first?
Patient: Bad news please
Doctor: We will need to amputate both of your legs
Patient: And what's the good news?
Doctor: We already found someone who's willing to buy your shoes.
'There's good news and bad news', the doctor said to the patient.
Doctor: 'The bad news is that both your legs have to be amputated.'
The patient starts crying and asks about the good news.
Doctor: 'There's someone in the hallway who wants to buy your shoes.'
A doctor walks into the patient's room after surgery and says, "Well, I have some good news and some bad news."
"Okay," sighs the patient, "...better give me the bad news first."
The doc replies, "The bad news is I had to amputate both of your legs."
"My God!" replies the patient, "What's the good news?!!"
"The guy across the hall wants to buy your shoes."
A man with pain on his right knee consulted his doctor.
Doctor said: "It is nothing to worry about. It is due to old age."
Patient: "The left knee is of the same age. But how is it that leg does not pain?"
Patient: "I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here?"
Doctor: "You’ve had an accident involving a bus.
"
Patient: "What happened?"
Doctor: "Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"
Patient: "Give me the bad news first."
Doctor: "Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them."
Patient: "That’s terrible! What’s the good news?"
Doctor: "There’s a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers."
A gynecologist is preparing to leave for the day...
when his nurse stops him.
"Doctor, we just had a walk-in, would you mind seeing her?"
The doctor steps into the exam room to find the most staggeringly gorgeous woman he has ever seen. After staring for several seconds he collects himself and asks her to please lie back, saying, "Before I begin, I need to numb the area."
The patient looks slightly puzzled, but nods and settles back onto the exam table.
The doctor lowers his face between the patient's legs.
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