Patient Assistant Jokes
10 patient assistant jokes and hilarious patient assistant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about patient assistant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Comical Patient Assistant Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What is a good patient assistant joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A man visits a mental hospital.
He sees a patient with torn clothes & unkempt hair shouting "Julie !! Julie !!"
He asks the assistant about the reason for the patient's behavior. Asst says the patient used to love a girl called Julie but couldn't marry her. So he became mad.
The man visits the next ward. There also he sees another patient with torn clothes & unkempt hair shouting
"Julie !! Julie !!"
The man looks at the assistant.
The assistant says "This one married Julie"
Doctor to assistant: I said to give the patient something for his cough! Why did you give him a laxative?!
Assistant: Well he's not coughing anymore, is he?
Doctor: ..I guess he wouldn't dare..
Cute repartee from "Dr. Katz"
The good doctor is between clients, and Laura, the administrative assistant, walks into his office. Dr. Katz is lying on his patients' couch and this surprises her.
"I've just never seen you on the couch before," she says.
"Well," Dr. Katz says, "I was just in a reflective mood, and I wondered if the couch might do for me what I hope it does for my patients."
"I see," says Laura. "Would you like me to sit in your chair and doodle and pretend to care?"
Obgyn Assistant
A guy is looking for a job and sees an application for an obstetrical assistant who has to trim patients "private parts" and rub oil there in preparation for the session. He tells the officer, "I'd like to apply for that one" and the officer says he has to go up to Sudbury. (Way the h**... up north!)
What? The job's in Sudbury he asks?
No, it's here. That's just the end of the line.
Best medicine
Patient approached a doctor for incessant cough and doctor prescribed laxative.
Assistant to doctor. Sir, you gave him laxative for cough.
Doctor: Yes, and now he'd think twice before coughing.
Conversation between a doctor and his assistant
Assistant: Doc, there is a patient out here saying he is turning invisible.
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him now.
Assistant: He also said he's shrinking.
Doctor: Well, he is going to be a little patient!
Patient to visit Doctor
A doctors nurse's assistance says to him "You have a patient who believes he is invisible." The doctor turns to her and tells her "Tell him I can't see him today."
A pharmacist goes on vacation and asks an assistant to take his patients instead.
Firefighters in London were called to assist hospital staff when a man'
s g**... became trapped in a spanner. A hospital spokesman said the patient took a turn for the worse.
Helping The Doctor
A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work to go fishing, so he approached his assistant.
"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients".
"Yes, sir!" answers Murphy.
The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: "So,Murphy, how was your day?"
Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a headache so I gave him Paracetamol."
"Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?" asks the doctor.
"The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon," says Murphy.
"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.
"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman bursts in!
Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everything including her bra and her p**... and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen any man!'"
"Tunderin' lard Jesus Murphy, what did you do?" asks the doctor.
"I put drops in her eyes."
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