Paternity Jokes

24 paternity jokes and hilarious paternity puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about paternity that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

From the perspective of a new father who is terrified of the unknown, this article explores humorous takes on the experience of paternity. Looking at how popular culture and the medical community view paternity leave and the role of a father during pregnancy, this article will explore the ever-changing role of the dad. Whether you are a new dad, or a pediatrician looking to lighten the mood, this article will provide some good-natured laughter as we navigate this new era of paternity.

Funniest Paternity Short Jokes

Short paternity jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The paternity humour may include short parenthood jokes also.

  1. My son just became a father for the first time today… And in passing on the paternal torch, when he asked me where I kept all my dad jokes, I told him…they were stored in my dadabase.…
  2. My dad divorced my mom after the paternity test results For reasons that aren't apparent to me
  3. What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.
  4. What do you get when you cross the mailman with a Cougar? According to the Paternity Test: Me
  5. We've always got to keep an eye out for reposted dad jokes. We've got to be paternally vigilant.
  6. In Sweden paternity leave is a big thing. And it is very challenging, almost every father loses 23lb in the first few weeks. They have no idea where the baby is.
  7. I'm starting a business in Indiana; we do paternity tests and private investigations. It's called "Hoosier Daddy and What Does He Do?"
  8. At my school we were great at passing all the tests... Both pregnancy _and_ paternity tests.
  9. Apparently teachers in NJ get really great parental leave Because my dad has been on paternal leave for the last 20+ years
  10. If you ask me, Luke got off pretty easy when Vader told him they were related... Where I'm from, a paternity test costs an arm *and* a leg.

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Paternity One Liners

Which paternity one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with paternity? I can suggest the ones about maternity and fathered child.

  1. What's another name for a paternity test A pop quiz
  2. God took a paternity test He found out he was the father, the son and the holy spirit.
  3. A man runs late to paternity court He, out of breath: "I made it"
    Judge: "No, you didn't"
  4. What did Sherlock Holmes say after being asked to get a paternity test? Watson?
  5. Sentences you don't hear that often: My IT guy is out on paternity leave.
  6. On an unrelated note... the paternity test came back negative.
  7. Why didn't the mason jar need a paternity test? Because the resemblance was uncanny.
  8. I had to take a paternity test recently. I got an F.
  9. Jesus asks God if the Paternity test came positive Yah, weh...
  10. How can you tell if a Chinese family had identical or paternal twins? You don't!

Paternity Test Jokes

Here is a list of funny paternity test jokes and even better paternity test puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Think Asian parents are demanding when it comes to grades? You should see black dads on paternity tests

Paternity Leave Jokes

Here is a list of funny paternity leave jokes and even better paternity leave puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! Sounds like a... Devil's t**... and the ensuing paternity court case.
Paternity joke, TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! Sounds like a...

Paternity joke, TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! Sounds like a...

Hilarious Fun Paternity Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about paternity you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean biological father jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make paternity pranks.

Paternal Payback

On the day I received my learner's permit, my father agreed to take me out for a driving lesson. With a big grin, he hopped in behind the driver's seat. Why aren't you sitting up front on the passenger's side? I asked.
Kirsten, I've been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl, Dad replied. Now it's my turn to sit back here and kick the seat.

Paternity joke, We've always got to keep an eye out for reposted dad jokes.