Pastry Jokes
91 pastry jokes and hilarious pastry puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pastry that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funny pastry jokes you won't want to miss! From the warm, flaky crust of the danish pastry to the airy choux pastry, we've got a joke to match. Enjoy pie and focaccia puns, strudel banter, and jokes about Italian pastries. So, check out our collection of pastry jokes, and get ready to laugh!
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Funniest Pastry Short Jokes
Short pastry jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pastry humour may include short bakery jokes also.
- My sister is an expert pastry-maker. She has to be to stay employed, her job has a high turnover rate.
- A private goes AWOL from the Army to follow his calling as a pastry chef, but gets caught and arrested. He was eventually court-martialed and sentenced to five years in prison for being a desserter.
- At Indian Restaurant "Those triangular pastry parcels with the spicy filling were delicious!"
"Samosa?"
"No, thank you, I'm full now." - Ever since the government lockdown, my neighbor has had to run her business out of her backyard. She bakes delicious pastries. Google Back Door Cream Pies if you're interested.
- My friend dropped his box of Italian pastries on the floor. I cannoli imagine what he must be going through.
- Did you ever hear about the man who set pastries on fire? He was a self proclaimed pie-ro-maniac.
- Why was the ninja so good at baking pastries? Because he had a black belt in martial tarts.
- You hear about the highly-productive pastry factory that has trouble retaining employees? It has a high turnover rate.
- Did you hear the one about the baker who dominated the pastry competition through determination and superior sugar content? He went in all buns glazing.
- What's the difference between a fire wizard and someone who flirts with pastries? One is a Pyromancer, the other is a pie-romancer.
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Pastry One Liners
Which pastry one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pastry? I can suggest the ones about dessert and baked goods.
- What do you call a pastry that is yummy, tasty, and delicious? A synonym roll.
- What happens when two pastries divorce? They have a custardy battle
- I think it's sexist that there are pop tarts but no mom tarts. I blame the pastry-archy.
- What do you call a Jedi Italian pastry chef? Obi Wan Cannoli
- What did the pastry say to the cake when they were in bed? I'm crumbing!
- What do you call an eerie French pastry chef? A crepe.
- The French baker's pastry shop collapsed on him He was in a lot of pain.
- Which pastry is the most religious? The donut.
Its holiness cannot be denied. - You know, i get really excited about pastries. I guess you could say im a dough nut.
- Why am I scared of french pastry chefs? They give me the crepes.
- How did the pastry chef do on the donut-making exam? She passed with frying crullers.
- French pastry bakers are scary. They give me the crepes.
- What do you call a slow pastry? A retart.
- What is M. Night Shyamalan's favorite pastry? A cinema-n twist.
- Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef? He'll dessert you!
Pastry Chef Jokes
Here is a list of funny pastry chef jokes and even better pastry chef puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- An italian pastry chef was injured at work this friday We Cannoli hope he makes a full recovery.
- What's the difference between a belly dancer and an incompetent pastry chef? One shakes body parts and the other bakes shoddy tarts.
- If a chocolatier and a pastry chef have a child together, will they also make delicious food? Not Nestle Sara Lee
- What do you call a deep thinking pastry chef? A filosopher.
- Why did the captain execute the pastry chef? Because his orders were to shoot all desserters.
- They call me the Pastry Chef Because all your mothers came to get cream pies from me.
- What did one doughnut say to the other... ...you look a little glazed
- I still can't believe how the pastry chef died... It's hard to imagine a cruller fate.
- What do you call a radical muslim pastry chef? Chocolate bomber
- Why did the pastry chef poison his pet parakeets? He was trying to kill 2 birds with 1 scone.
Danish Pastry Jokes
Here is a list of funny danish pastry jokes and even better danish pastry puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was making some Scandinavian pastries but discovered afterwards that I didn't use enough sugar. So I ended up with sweet-ish Danish.
- What's a dogs favourite pastry? A GREAT DANISH!!
- I had a delicious breakfast. It was a nice flaky pastry filled with dog meat. I think it was called a Great Danish.
Choux Pastry Jokes
Here is a list of funny choux pastry jokes and even better choux pastry puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you get rid of a dog made of pastry Choux, choux!
Playful Pastry Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about pastry you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean baking jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pastry pranks.
So HBO is making a drama about relatives conspiring against eachother to take control of the family pastry company
It's going to be called Game of Scones
I needed some money...
So I decided to rob a bottle shop with my Lebanese friend. We agreed to meet around the corner of the shop in a dark alley at midnight and go from there.
I waited in that alley, and my colleague arrives with a bit of sweet pastry stuck to his head.
"You m**...!!" I exclaim, "I said Balaclava!"
What do you call a boring pastry?
a mundanish
There was once a pastry competition...
Many bakers submitted their desserts to the contest, but the judges were torn between two Italian chefs' pastries.
They said to the chefs, "We would love for both of you to win... *But there cannoli be one."*
A french pastry was stalking me this morning
I felt really creped out
If you know an Arab, you don't have to steal...
A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery.
The Arab steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.
He says to the Jew, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see anything."
The Jew says to the Arab, "That's typical of you dishonest Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."
He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick."
Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one.
The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "What did you do with the pastries?"
The Jew replies, "Look in the Arab's pocket....."
What kind of pastry do you need a thesaurus to eat?
Synonym rolls
What is a Detective's favourite pastry?
The Tooth Hurts Donut!
What do you call a pastry with an English degree?
A synonym roll
What do you call a person with a meat pastry on their ear?
Pioneer.
You would think that you would be a better pastry chef
With all the c**... videos I watch...
Did you hear about the guy who broke 17 world records while sitting on a pastry?
He's on a roll!
What do you call it when a pastry kills another pastry?
Game of Scones.
What's a lawyer's favourite pastry?
Suet
My pastry factory has been pretty successful...
So far we've had a good turnover.
What is Palpatine's favourite breakfast pastry?
Coruscant
What do you get if you bake w**... into apple pastry?
A high turnover.
What's a revolutionist's favourite pastry?
Coup d'étart
Why do p**... shop pastry chefs make so much money?
Because it's such a high whisk job.
What kind of pastry always sells well?
A profiterole.
What do you call a dessert that starts out as a cube of fruit-filled pastry and is slowly stretched until it's long and flat?
Extrudel.
An old Jedi master named Ben stole Luke Skywalker's last pastry.
Angrily, Luke shouted after him as he ran away, Hey, you Owe Me One Canoli!
What kind of pastry is known to cause depression and anxiety?
What kind of business advice do you give a pastry chef?
He should try to make his margarines butter.
What did Dave Grohl start singing whilst working Saturday morning in a pastry shop?
"I've got another confection to bake..."
Did you notice the pastry factory is always hiring?
They must have a high turnover-rate.
Why did the pastry store stop selling superhero costumes?
Because not many heroes wear crepes.
Did you hear about the new pickle flavored bread?
So since Pickle flavor is in style now with sonics new pickle juice shake, I think I'm going to launch a line of pickle flavored pastry. I'm going to call it Dilldough.
Did you hear about the Brit who had developed a pastry addiction?
He became a total sconer
You wouldn't think that a pastry frosting made from magical trees would be very good,
but it's actually enticing!
What was your favourite pastry that Grammar used to make?
Mine was the delicious synonym rolls and my adjective was to eat at least half of them off the plate
The girl and the pastry chefs
There once was a girl who kept being followed by pastry chefs wearing cook hats. After countless days of being followed, she asked her friend if she could tell her why the chefs were following her. The friend replied "you really need to do something about that yeast infection."
I wrote a movie about a male sheep and his son enjoying a Hostess pastry.
I call it
*Ram, a Lamb, a Ding d**...*
What did the pastry say to the apples as they entered the oven?
Let's get ready to crumble!
what do you call a really small computer file full of pastry recipes?
Little bytes
I was terrified to eat the pastry.
Turns out, its a piece of cake.
The world's best dentist and the world's worst pastry chef walk into a bar.
Being friends of the owner, he pours them both a drink and sits them down to catch up.
How was your birthday? He asks the dentist.
It was like pulling teeth he says with a smile.
Then the owner turns to the pastry chef.
How was your divorce?
It was as easy as pie the chef mumbles sadly.