The Best 35 Pastries Jokes

Following is our collection of Pastries jokes which are very funny. There are some pastries croissant jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these pastries pastry chef puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Pastries Jokes and Puns

There was once a pastry competition...

Many bakers submitted their desserts to the contest, but the judges were torn between two Italian chefs' pastries.

They said to the chefs, "We would love for both of you to win... *But there cannoli be one."*

I stole some pastries from the store yesterday

It was a piece of cake

If you know an Arab, you don't have to steal...

A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery.

The Arab steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.
He says to the Jew, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see anything."

The Jew says to the Arab, "That's typical of you dishonest Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."

He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick."

Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one.

The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.

The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "What did you do with the pastries?"

The Jew replies, "Look in the Arab's pocket....."

I was making some Scandinavian pastries but discovered afterwards that I didn't use enough sugar.

So I ended up with sweet-ish Danish.

Where do sinful pastries go?

Confection


Where do alcoholics get their breakfast pastries?

Drunken Donuts

King Arthur's birthday party at the round table.

King Arthur looked down at the pastries and asked "Are these all Cake?"
"Two are pie" replied Sir Cumference

French pastries are scary

They give me the crepes.

I knew a guy obsessed with baking pastries.

He was a real dough-nut.

96.86% of pastries are

not πs

How do you make a baker cry?

Easy. Go for a cheapshot by insulting his pastries.

You can explore pastries pie reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean pastries tarts dad jokes. There are also pastries puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What happens when two pastries divorce?

They have a custardy battle

Where is the best place to get pastries in New York?

Sconey Island

What do you call a sea fairing rodent that likes pastries?

A pie rat

I feel so bad, I was sent to get some pastries, but I got distracted and sat on them in the car...

They got extsrudled.

I like my women how I like my pastries

Likely to flake

Have you heard about how much meat pastries cost in Antigua, Barbados, Colombia, Dominican Republic, Haiti, Honduras, Jamaica, Aruba, Trinidad and Tobago, The Bahamas, Turks and Caicos Islands?

You should have done, they are the pie rates of the Caribbean

I'm writing an erotic novel featuring tea and pastries.

I'm calling it "Romancing the Scone."

What do you call a ninja turtle with an addiction to pastries?

Donutello


Why do people eat pastries and sweets when they are stressed?

Because desserts are stressed spelt backwards.

I've never really disliked pastries

But I hate Pai now

Why was the ninja so good at baking pastries?

Because he had a black belt in martial tarts.

What's the difference between a pastry doing a tap dance and a lot of pastries doing ballet?

Abundance.

Where does Bob Dylan get his pastries?

The House of the Rising Bun

OC from my 13 year old: I heard the quality of the pastries in New Orleans has gone down.

They've been yay before, but not anymore.

Why do bakeries in Denmark add so much sugar to their pastries?

If they didn't, they would be sweetish.

My brother wants people to be free to rate their pastries however they choose

He's against anti-pie-rating laws

My friend dropped his box of Italian pastries on the floor.

I cannoli imagine what he must be going through.

What do you call a mathematician that abuses pastries?

Piethugoras

What kind of mage uses pastries to seduce people?

A pie romancer

What's the difference between a fire wizard and someone who flirts with pastries?

One is a Pyromancer, the other is a pie-romancer.

Did you ever hear about the man who set pastries on fire?

He was a self proclaimed pie-ro-maniac.

Earlier this year, I told my girlfriend that I wanted to start taking pictures of pastries.

So for my birthday, she gave me a macaron lens.

You know, i get really excited about pastries.

I guess you could say im a dough nut.

A patissier suddenly looks up in a panic and shouts...

Quick, get me three baguettes and two pastries!

Darth Vader walks in

Here's your order Lord Vader

How do you always know what I want? Do you use the force?

No sir, we can hear you coming. Pain pain pain tarte tatin tarte tatin

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the pastries cannoli jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working pastries scone piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes