Pasto Jokes
46 pasto jokes and hilarious pasto puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pasto that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Pasto Short Jokes
Short pasto jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pasto humour may include short pasta jokes also.
- I went to a fancy Italian restaurant but stormed out when I found bugs in my food. Turned out it was the anty pasto.
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Pasto One Liners
Which pasto one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pasto? I can suggest the ones about nacho and spaghetti.
- Where do the old Texans go to feel nostalgic? El Past-o
Laughter Pasto Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about pasto you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lasagna jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pasto pranks.
A pastor and a wife are talking to each other...
and then the pastor asks: Oh, I remember seeing your husband getting up in the middle of one of my homily(for those who aren't christian, its ~~ a moral talk).
Wife: Oh, sorry. He's just started sleepwalking recently...
*Ninja
There once was a pastor who was in support of gay rights, but refused to preform gay marriage ceremonies.
People kept asking him, "If you like gay people so much, why don't you marry them?"
What did the pastor say when his blanket rose up from his bed?
"Holy Sheet!"
A pastor says to his congregation that being good is easy when you're a pastor,
Because he gets paid to be good, but the people of his congregation are good for nothing.
What happens to Pastors who eat chili dogs?
They have to sit in their own pew.
My Pastor Told Me To Bring My Problems To The Church
So I brought my wife
Pastor asks about the Resurrection of Christ?
Kid says: If you have one more than 4 hours, you should go to the doctor.
A pastor is speaking to his church.
A pastor is speaking to his church. He tells them, 'I have good and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay off all the church debts and build a new wing to the church.'
The congregation clapped and cheered.
He continues. 'The bad news is, it's still in your pockets.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
...So your mom's a pastor eh?
...holy cow...
What did the pastor say to the boy ditching mass on Ash Wednesday?
Get your ash back over here!
Pastor: "She will be buried as we knew her best,
lying on her back"
A pastor was charge for assault after claiming he was a pacifist.
He also stated that if anybody disrespects the Bible they will catch these pastor fist.
I know a pastor of a failing megachurch.
Poor guy doesn't know where his next Mercedes is coming from.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pastor cuts his chin while shaving one Sunday morning.
He hurriedly puts a band-aid on and rushes to his church for the 10:00 am service.
Afterwards, a member of the congregation, an older woman, comes up to the pastor and asks, "Excuse me, but what happened to your face?" The pastor replies "I was thinking about my sermon and I cut my chin." The old lady rolls her eyes and says "Maybe you should think about your chin, and cut your sermons."
A pastor was giving a sermon on the evils of alcohol.
After endless anecdotes about its evils and dozens of bible passages regarding its sinfulness he concludes quite passionately that if it were up to him he'd dump all the town's booze into the river.
Following this display the organist leads the congregation in a hymn. They sang Shall we gather at the river?
What did the pastor say about the dead 🐸
What does a pastor and a cobler have in common?
They both fix soles.
Pastor and a priest taking a bath..
How does a pastor with a lisp give a sermon?
Spray and pray.
A pastor, IT server admin and a Thai ladyboy walk into a bar
The bartender asks him what he would like to drink.
Pastor Caldwell of one of the biggest mega churches has been indicted on 3.million dollar fraud (
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I once went to a Pastor Maldonado c**......
Right after he crashed an F1 race broke out
My dad's a pastor.
(1973)
Dad: WHAT DEVILS MUSIC IS THAT?
Me: it's only Mark 14:36
Dad: well could you keep it down! Good lad
And he was none the wiser ah.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pastor was accused of s**... misconduct
When interrogated by police, he said "I don't understand, she gave consent...I asked if she'd volunteer for a m**... and she enthusiastically accepted."
'Wow Pastor, what a beautiful church'. 'Indeed, it's Norman'.
'Wow Norman, what a beautiful church'.
Why did the pastor go to KFC?
To grab some breast.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw that pastor from Aretha Franklin's f**... at Starbucks again
He was just grabbing a Grande.
A pastor walks into a bar...
and asks for the punchline. Bartender says, "We don't serve punch here."
My old pastor was an outspoken advocate for Amazon.
I guess you could say he was a Prime minister.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners
At one house it seemed obvious that someone was home but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took at a card and wrote Revelations 3:20 on the back of it and stuck it to the door.
When the offering was taken the following Sunday, the pastor found his card had been returned. Along with the verse he had written, he found another cryptic message: Genesis 3:10 .
When he checked his Bible to discover what this could mean, the pastor began to chuckle.
Revelations 3:20 reads behold, I stand at the door and knock . Genesis 3:10 says, I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was n**....
A pastor, a priest and a rabbi walk onto a bar.
Since it wasn't foretold in scripture, they didn't listen to the people telling them to duck.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The pastor states, Everything in modern day life is explained in the Bible.
Everyone in the congregation is trying to stump the preacher. Finally someone yells out, What about p**...? A hush grows through the church. The pastor answered, That's easy. And Mary rode Joseph's a**... all the way to Bethlehem!
An old pastor on his deathbed asked a lawyer and an IRS agent to visit him.
When the two arrived in the pastor's room, the pastor based them to sit on either side of the bed.
After a bit, the lawyer asked "Reverend, why did you ask us here?"
The pastor responded, "Jesus died between two thieves, and I want to do the same."
My pastor asked me to name the four Gospels, but I could only remember Matthew, Luke, and John.
I missed the Mark.
This pastor decided to skip church one sunday morning and go play golf.
He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.
He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried is an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.
An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My pastor is worried I might be gay and has asked me to avoid temptation..
Get thee behind me, Satan.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pastor, a scammer, and a child m**...
walks into a bar.
A pastor discovered his bicycle had been stolen
He decided to use it as inspiration for that week's sermon, and began writing on the Ten Commandments, especially thou shalt not steal
Then he got to thou shalt not commit adultery and remembered where he left his bike.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pastor taught his parrot...
A pastor taught his parrot to recite the Lord's Prayer when he pulled a string on the parrot's right leg, and to recite the 23rd psalm when he pulls a string on his left leg. The pastor was showing this to a man in the church, he pulls the right string and the parrot recites the Lord's Prayer. He pulls the left string and the parrot recites the 23rd psalm. The man is surprised and says "Wow! That's incredible! What happens if you were to pull both strings?"
The bird replies with "I'd fall on my a**... s**...!"
My Pastor shouted "Jesus is the answer!"
I looked back to my phone, he was wrong, it was "lapse." Gave me the E and the S, though.
The pastor asked a little girl why one should remain quiet in church
The little girl replied 'because everyone is sleeping.'
A pastor is looking forward to dinner with a family in his congregation….
After church on Sunday, the pastor approaches the family and confirms their dinner the coming Friday. After making small talk for a few minutes, the pastor turns to the couple's 5yo. Have your parents told you what they will be making for us on Friday?
The child thinks a second and replies, Goat.
The pastor squinted and exclaimed Goat?
As the parents are speaking up to clarify, the child cuts in loudly. Yeah, yesterday I heard Mommy tell Daddy that Friday is as good a day as any to have the old goat for dinner!
My pastor announced that someone in our congregation is possessed by an owl.
All I can think is: Who? Who?!
