Paste Jokes

57 paste jokes and hilarious paste puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about paste that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This lighthearted article takes a look at how simple it is to use paste to make jokes. From tomato paste and cut and paste, to using jelly and rosemary, explore all the ways you can use paste to make your friends laugh. Get creative with your puns and let the fun begin!

Funniest Paste Short Jokes

Short paste jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The paste humour may include short copy jokes also.

  1. As I was driving past a prison yesterday, I saw a dwarf scaling down the wall. Confused , I stared up at him and he sneered back. And I thought to myself, "well that's a little condescending."
  2. My wife asked me how she compared to past girlfriends... So I told her she was the only one I had been with!
    The others were all eights and nines.
  3. Every morning at breakfast for the past 6 months, I announce loudly to my family that I'm going for a jog, and then I don't. It's my longest running joke of the year.
  4. My 7 yr old just made this one up: What do you say when a dinosaur farts? That was a blast from the past!
  5. Valentine's.... For the past 10 years I've been getting valentine's card from a secret admirer, so I was pretty upset when I didn't get one this year.
    First my gran dies, now this!
  6. This past week I made a couple bucks selling fake eclipse glasses I'm not to worried though, those suckers will never see me again.
  7. Actually, the past tense is "hanged", as in "he hanged himself" Sorry about your Dad, though
  8. I was walking past a homeless man when he yelled, "Stephen King is my older brother and he stole the ideas for all his novels from me!" I replied, "Surely you must be joe."
  9. My friend's girlfriend is pregnant, and he is thinking of a name for the past few weeks. Finally he decided on Carlos and ran away to Mexico.
  10. I've figured out that the spread of Covid-19 over the past couple years has been due to two factors. 1. How dense the population is.
    2. How dense the population is.

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Paste One Liners

Which paste one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with paste? I can suggest the ones about paper and tape.

  1. I'm making a graph of my past relationships... I have an 'ex'-axis and a 'why?'-axis.
  2. You can't run through a camp ground. You can only ran, because it's past tent.
  3. Why are black people unable to get a phd? Because they can't get past their masters
  4. I asked Siri "What do women want?" My phone has not shut up for the past three days.
  5. Why can't Irishmen be lawyers? They can never get past the bar.
  6. If we make it past 2020, I'll be dreading 2022. After all, 2022 is 2020, too!
  7. So...the past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
  8. Why don't cats make good burglars? They can't get past the laser defenses
  9. Why is nostalgia like grammar? We find the present tense and the past perfect
  10. Did you know it's impossible to run in a campground? You can only ran, it's past tents.
  11. How to get laid?? 1. Lay on bed.
    2. Wait two hours.
    3. Lay becomes past tense.
  12. I plotted all of my past relationships on a chart It had an ex axis and a why axis.
  13. I spent the past 2 years looking for my girlfriend's killer But no one will do it
  14. I hear cancer is hard to beat No one got past stage 4.
  15. I made a graph of my past girlfriends. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Copy Paste Jokes

Here is a list of funny copy paste jokes and even better copy paste puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I hate it when people outright copy and paste somebody's joke on twitter and post it on a different social media platform. Retweet if you agree.
  • Teach a man a joke, he'll tell it too everyone, But teach a man to copy & paste, he'll tell everyone's jokes.
  • When you're addicted to keyboard shortcuts It might start off with just copying and pasting, but once you get into underlining it really starts to control you.
  • A copy editor walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I'm giving up the past tense for Lend," he tells the bartender.
  • How do you clone a tomato? Copy and paste
  • They said the real joke is in the comments. Copy this and paste it in the comments then.
  • V V V VVVVVV why isn't copy and paste working
  • How many people does it take to copy and paste something wrong? Yes.
  • My computer is so slow . . . . . . I get a progress bar when I copy and paste . . . text.
  • Chuck Norris can paste something before he copies it.

Cut And Paste Jokes

Here is a list of funny cut and paste jokes and even better cut and paste puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My long past criminally psychopathic grandfather's favourite joke: What do you get if you cut a policeman's head into four pieces? Police Headquarters…..
  • My tailor has been really angry the past few weeks. This morning, he even refused to fixed my new pants which were too long I asked if he could cut me some slack
  • "Rabbi, could you please perform a circumcision for my son" Rabbi :"What's his age ? "
    Man : "8 years "
    Rabbi :" what? That's way past the usual cut off date "
  • We are going to learn to cut and paste kids
Paste joke, We are going to learn to cut

Tomato Paste Jokes

Here is a list of funny tomato paste jokes and even better tomato paste puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How do you fix a broken pizza? Use tomato paste.
  • Tomato paste is pretty viscous I guess it's not very fast paste
  • How do you fix a pizza? With tomato paste!
  • How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
  • We Italians don't use l**... We use tomato paste
Paste joke, We Italians don't use l**...

Giggle-Inducing Paste Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about paste you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pong jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make paste pranks.

I think my wife put paste all over our firearms

She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns.

Three guys just met eachother and they have a conversation about different sorts of paste

The first guy says: "I know everything about tomato paste, because I own an Italian restaurant."
The second guy says: "I know everything about toothpaste, because I am a dentist."
The third guy says: "I know everything about copy-paste, because I am a Redditor."

The beauty industry:

For men: This can be used as a shampoo, body wash, face wash, lotion, mouth wash, tooth paste, engine degreaser, spackle, or sunscreen
For women: We've specially formulated this moisturizer for your left elbow

Hey guys, just wanted to wish you all happy holidays.

Reddit is filled with ready-made messages that you don't even read, you just copy and paste to every subreddit, I don't like that, I like writing from my heart. Our friendship, from the deepest to virtual, is very important to me and couldn't ever be represented by a cookie-cutter message from anywhere. So, I'd like to thank you all, you're the best Dave & Buster's subreddit I've ever interacted with.

Was reading a "People Who Passed Away In 2020" article and saw that Larry Tesler, one of the co-developers of the basic copy and paste function for computers, died in February.

Was reading one of those "People Who Passed Away In 2020" articles and saw that Larry Tesler, one of the co-developers of the basic copy and paste function for computers, died in February.
Was reading one of those "People Who Passed Away In 2020" articles and saw that Larry Tesler, one of the co-developers of the basic copy and paste function for computers, died in February.

My wife decided to switch us from Crest to Colgate.

It's a nice change of paste.

First I put in two tablespoons of fresh chopped basil. Then six or so grapes. Then half a banana. A little orange juice concentrate. Then some Metaright high protein paste.

Then she says "Letting you play with my a**... was a mistake."

Trying to help my grandad use the computer

and he asks me how to paste something, told him to control P and he said he hasn't been able to do that for years!


Too far to see.

5 year old: Mommy, do you know how long a tooth paste tube lasts?

Mother: No honey?
5 year old: 2 laps around the TV table, and one around the couch

After a group of scientists invented a tasteless o**... ingestible Covid vaccine they had a meeting to decide which products would be best to put it in to get to finally get to 100% coverage in America.

Ranch dressing will get 98% and Horse dewormer paste to cover the last 2%

What do you call a racehorse who's too old to race?

Fast paste.

I couldn't tell if I brushed my teeth with tooth paste or shamoo last night

I hope it was the former, not the lather.

Why did I eat so much paste in kindergarten?

It really stuck to my ribs.

What do you call a dog that eats an entire bottle of paste? (compliments of u/wizang)

A shitzglu

Where do Middle Eastern cuisines buy the supplies for thejr Garlic Paste?



When something's too far for you to see.

Three Blind Men

Three blind men were disputing whether an elephant was like a snake, wall, or a tree trunk.
Meanwhile, three blind elephants agreed that humans were a kind of gooey paste.

Paste joke, Three Blind Men