Passionately Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

I brought my dead girlfriend back to life by passionately kissing her neck

...I guess you could say I'm a neck-romancer

At university, students had to come up with a sentence in which the words "love" and "sex" both appeared

A female student's composition:

'When two people deeply and passionately love each other, and both reach a high level of mutual respect, then society morally and spiritually encourages that these two people should unite in the ecstasy of physical sex.'

A male student's composition:

'I love sex.'

If you watch Godzilla backwards

it's about a dinosaur that passionately pieces a city back together before moonwalking into the sea.

On a bench, in the park, two lovers

are kissing passionately. At some point another man sits down next to them and starts staring at the woman.
Eventually, her partner gets fed up by the staring and tells the other man:
- I haven't seen such insolence in my whole life!
- I'm sorry, I did not mean to disturb you, but I need to ask my wife to give me keys to the house.

'Sex' and 'Love' ....;)

At the retreat, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love.'

The woman wrote:
When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and they respect each other very much, just like my hubby and I, it is spiritually and morally acceptable for them to engage in the act physical sex with one another.

The Husband wrote: I Love Sex.

Alright, dammit. Native American jokes it is.

"Father, tell me again about how we get our names."

"Well, in our tribe we name our children after the cause of their birth. You sister is named 'Beautiful Doe' because your mother saw a deer so lovely that she came to me passionately. Your brother is named 'Deep Snow' because the storm was so bad your mother and I needed to share our bodies to stay warm."

"Okay father, I understand."

"I'm glad you understand, but why do you ask me this question so often, Broken Condom?"

I couldn't take my eyes off her

I kissed her parted lips, our tongues touched. One hand passionately kneaded her breast, tweaking her hardened nipple.
As the other hand delved deep between her thighs I couldn't help but think, "This'll probably be the last open casket funeral I get invited to".

I love you just the way you are, I passionately sang to my ex-grilfriend

Then I lay the flowers on her grave.

A pastor was giving a sermon on the evils of alcohol.

After endless anecdotes about its evils and dozens of bible passages regarding its sinfulness he concludes quite passionately that if it were up to him he'd dump all the town's booze into the river.

Following this display the organist leads the congregation in a hymn. They sang Shall we gather at the river?

A joke from my great uncle

A nun is walking through the city and hails a taxi cab. The nun gets in a cab, and after a few minutes the cabbie says "It's been a while since I've passionately kissed a woman, would you be willing to kiss me, sister?" The nun asks "Are you single and catholic? If you are there shouldn't be a problem." The man says he is, and they intensely kiss for the next 10 minutes. Afterwards the cabbie starts to feel guilty and says "sister, I must confess I'm married and a Muslim." The nun says, "oh that's alright, my name is Troy and I'm going to a costume party."

Two melons are sitting in a field, talking about how much they love each other...

The first melon talks about how it wants a great big wedding, and how all their fruit and vegetable friends will be there to celebrate. The other melon wants them to run away together and have a 4-H judge do a quick ceremony. They argue passionately back and forth, when exasperated the second melon asks, "why do we even need to have a wedding?" The first melon replies, "don't be silly honey, we cantaloupe."

A man and a nun are sitting next to each other on the bus

The man looks at the nun and says " you know, I have never kissed a nun before" the nun says no. She is a nun and is married to the church, but after much pestering from the man the nun finally breaks. " I will kiss you but only if you are not married." The man says he is single and then begins to kiss the nun passionately. Ten minutes after they are done kissing the man feels very guilty. "I wasn't honest to you. I'm actually married with four kids at home. Please forgive me nun" the nun replys"that's ok. I'm on my way to a costume party and my name is Kevin."

NSFW Passionately our lips met...

Then she closed her legs and broke my glasses.

Why do you think this joke is funny?

A white woman and a black man are dancing at a club, and after a while things start to get hot and heavy. After some heavy kissing and petting, the woman makes the suggestion that they return to her apartment for the night.

When the couple arrives at the woman's apartment, they begin passionately kissing and undressing each other, preparing to have frenzied and unrepentant sex with each other.

However, the white woman, curious as she was, asked the black guy as he was taking off his pants, "before you take them it true what they say about black guys?"

With a suave yet sinister look, he looked into her eyes and said "baby, of course." He then proceeded to stab her and ran out with her purse.

**Do you think this joke is funny or not? Why**

FYI- I am black and I think this joke is hilarious.

What are the funniest passionately jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Passionately? Well, here are the best Passionately puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Passionately pick up lines to share with friends.

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