Passerby Jokes
33 passerby jokes and hilarious passerby puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about passerby that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Passerby Short Jokes
Short passerby jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The passerby humour may include short traveler jokes also.
- A Blonde Crashes a helicopter A passerby jumps out and rushes up to her and exclaims,"What happened!?". She explains,"It got cold so I turned off the fan".
- A police officer is chasing a hacker He loses track of him in the streets and asks a passerby:
-Where is he,where is the hacker!?
-I don't know,he ransomware. - A passer by asked a tree surgeon how many trees he has cut down... Surgeon: Exactly 178,794
Passerby: Wow, how do you know that?
Surgeon: I keep a log - Two men debate whether Hawaii is pronounced "HaVaii" or "HaWaii". They ask a passerby, who answers "HaVaii".
"Thank you", says the satisfied first man.
"You're velcome", replies the passerby. - A cube walks into a bar... A cube walks into a bar and comes out as a sphere. A passerby saw and asked them what happened. The sphere replied oh I just had a drink to take the edge off .
- A guy goes to the cemetery with his kids As he is about to move a headstone, nearby passer-by asks him politely what is he doing. To that he responds "I'm just dropping off the kids at Grandma's"
- Two hobos were fighting over politics A passerby gives them his two cents.
They were now fighting over two cents. - A bloke with one leg is at an ATM A passerby stops and asks, do you need help mate?
the bloke replies: "Nahh mate cheers jus' checkin me balance" - Two clowns were crying near the circus A passer-by asks them why are they crying.
"Well, the elephant has died"
"And you loved him so much?"
"No, but they've put us to dig his grave" - I'm so ugly but so ugly! I asked a passerby how to go to the subway, I did not have time to finish:
- Excuse me?
he answered me:
- It's the least you can do.
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Passerby One Liners
Which passerby one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with passerby? I can suggest the ones about hitchhiker and passenger.
- A tourist in Rome asked a passer-by "Can you tell me where the Pope is?" "That I can!"
- Two peas were making out in public when... ... a passerby shouted: "get a mushroom."
- What did the homeless rapper say to the passerby? Hey man, can you spare 50 cents?
Cheeky Passerby Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about passerby you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pedestrian jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make passerby pranks.
What happened?
A passerby saw a man laid flat on the sidewalk in front of the local beauty shop and ran to offer assistance. As the man came blinking into consciousness, the passerby asked, What happened?
The man rubbed the back of his head and said, I don't know! Last thing I remember, my wife was coming out of the salon there and I said, Well, at least they tried.
A man is new in town
A man is new in town and asks the next passerby for directions:
"Excuse me, could you please tell me where the church is?"
"Yeah, it's on 3rd street."
"What, right next to the brothel?"
"What? No! The brothel is on 17th street."
"Oh, I see. Thank you very much!"
Great Mystery
Newsboy : "Great mystery! Fifty victims! Paper, mister ?"
Passerby : "Here boy, I'll take one" (After reading a moment) "Say, boy, there's nothing of the kind in this paper. Where is it ?"
Newsboy : "That's the mystery, sir. You're the fifty first victim".
A car broke down on a Native Reservation...
...so the driver got out to see what was going on. He lifted the hood, looked in, and noticed there was something wrong with the motor piston. Without any tools or cell service, he sighed, shut the hood and leaned on his car and waited for a passerby. Finally, a truck came around the bend so he waved it down and the truck pulled over. Inside was a few Native Americans, and asked, "what's wrong?"
"Piston broke", he replied.
"So are we. Get in."
A buddist monk recently became a street vendor
A passerby bought a $1 item from him and gave him a 50 dollar note.
The monk took the note and just sat down afte thanking him.
The guy got slightly angry when there was no change given and the monk answered
"change comes from within"
The f**...
A f**... procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.
A passer-by remarked, "That guy must have been a very avid fisherman.
"Oh, he still is," remarked one of the mourners. As a matter of fact, he's headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife.
Potatoes from Chernobyl
An old woman is shouting at a Ukrainian farmers' market: "Potatoes from Chernobyl! Potatoes from Chernobyl!" A passer-by asks her, "Why are you telling everybody that your potatoes are from Chernobyl? No one will buy them from you." "They do, my dear, they do. For mothers-in-law, for neighbors..."
A blind man was walking down the street
A blind man was walking down the street with his dog.
They stopped at the corner to wait for the passing traffic.
The dog, at this point, started p**... on the mans leg. As the dog finished the man reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a d**... treat and started waving it at the dog.
A passerby saw all the events happening and was shocked. He approached the blind man and asked how he could possibly reward the dog for such a n**... deed.
The blind man replied "Oh I'm not rewarding him, I'm just trying to find his head so I can kick his f**...' a**...."
A woman from the ghetto is in the grocery store with a whole crew of kids...
She yells out, "Billy!" and nine boys come running and line up by the door.
A passer-by laughs to himself and asks, "Did you name all your sons Billy?"
"Yup. Makes calling them for dinner a lot easier."
"What happens when you only need to talk to one of them?"
"Then I just call them by their last name."
A man is playing chess with a horse in the park.
A man is playing chess with a horse in the park.
A passer-by stops and watches them amazed. After a while ha says to the man: "Wow, your horse is playing chess? It must be really smart."
The man replies: "You call it smart? He hasn't won for like twelve games straight."
A boy was riding his toy firetruck down the street
A passerby saw that the firetruck was being pulled by a dog. The rope used to pull it was tied around the dogs privates, and as a result the boy was being pulled along rather slowly.
The passerby suggested that perhaps the boy would be able to go faster if he tied the rope around the dogs neck.
The boy responded:
"But if I did that, then I wouldn't have a siren."
City workers
A passerby noticed a couple of city workers digging holes along the sidewalks.
The man was quite impressed with their hard work, but couldn't figure out what they were doing.
Finally, he approached the workers and asked, I appreciate how hard you're both working, but what the heck are you doing? One of you digs a hole, and the other guy immediately fills it back up again with dirt.
One of the workers explained: The guy who plants the trees called in sick today.
A fellow from the Midwest has to spend Christmas in the deep South.
He's there on business, and he misses the snow. He tries to cheer himself up by walking around looking at a Christmas crèche ( a tableau representing the Nativity scene ). He's shocked to see that the three wise men are dressed as firemen, in hats and boots and slickers. He asks a passerby why in the world they're dressed that way.
Annoyed, she says, "Don't you Yankees ever read the Bible? It says right in the Bible, the three wise men came from *a far!*"
A couple of guys open a new storefront
30 min later a nosey passer-by is peering through an open window trying to make out what's going on..
He says, Hey what are you guys selling?
They respond .. We're selling a**...…
He says.. business must be good, it looks like you only have two left…
"Shoo ... shoo"
An Irish man is standing in the street, irractically waving his arms in the air shouting "shoo ...shoo".
A puzzled passerby asks him, "What are you doing, p**...?"
"It keeps the dragons away", he replies.
"There are no dragons, p**...".
"You're welcome!"
A long time ago in a ghetto far far away...
...Yoda was walking down the street, wearing a ton of bling. Necklaces, bracelets, gold teeth, the works. A passer-by stops him and says, "Wow, Yoda, that's a ton of bling!"
Yoda replied, "For show, mine is all."
A man is wandering around saying
15, 15, 15.
A passer-by stops and asks what is this 15.
He says come with me. The passer-by follows and they reach a well.
The man says look inside. He looks inside. The man pushes him in and starts saying 16, 16, 16.
A little boy is crying on a bench in the park.
A passer-by stops and asks him why he is crying.
The boy says: My mom gave me a dollar to get something from the shop but I lost it, and I'm afraid to go home now!
The passer-by decides to make the kid's day and gives him a dollar - but the kid only starts crying louder...
Why are you crying now? , he asks.
The kid says: I wish I'd said five dollars now!
[A non-anti-semitic Jewish Joke]: In 1939, a Jewish man walked past a cafe in Berlin and saw a fellow Jew sitting outside reading Der Stürmer.
The passerby was shocked.
"How can you read such horrible stuff?" he wanted to know.
"All the other papers," the man quietly explained, "are filled with Jewish tragedy. But in *this* paper, it's just the opposite. It says we Jews control absolutely everything. I find it rather reassuring!"
A f**... procession pulled into a cemetery....
Several carloads of family members pulled followed in a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.
A passerby remarked, "That guy must have been an avid fisherman".
"Oh, he still is." replied a mourner. "He's headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife."
An art student showing off their fanart at a Comicon...
An art student showing off their fanart at a Comicon is discussing their work with a customer, and comments: "I know I overuse red and blue, but I can't help it, it's my favorite color pair!"
A passerby asks: "Oh, is it?", and is then brutally executed by the surrounding nerds.
Another 'intelligent' joke
Once a guy was putting a saddle on the horse but on the opposite side of the horse. A passerby stops, laughs and says "Buddy, you are putting the saddle on the other side of the horse". The guy slaps the passerby and says "How do you know which way I am going ?"