The Best 32 Passengers On A Bus Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Passengers On A Bus jokes. There are some passengers on a bus intercom jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these passengers on a bus lifeboats puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Passengers On A Bus Jokes and Puns

Taxi Story

A true story from the pages of the Manchester Evening Times . . .

Last Wednesday a passenger in a taxi heading for Salford station leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate window.
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then, the shaking driver said "are you OK? I'm so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me."

The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, "I didn't realize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly."
The driver replied, "No, no, I'm the one who is sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab.
I've been driving a hearse for 25 years."

I found this on sickipedia complain if you want

A man is working as a taxi driver He just started his job He went and picked someone up about halfway through the journey the man taps him on the shoulder At this point The taxi driver freaks swerves nearly misses a bus and two cars and crashes into a building. The passenger says "Sorry I didnt know a small tap could scare you that much" The taxi driver replies "No sorry it's my fault I used to work as a hearse driver"

Just after the apartheid ...

A bus company's owner explain to his drivers that if they find it difficult to see people as equal they just have to consider there are no more black and white people, only blue.

So, this driver explained it to its passengers :

"Ok guys, you're not black or white anymore. Only blue. So light blue get the front seats, dark blue the rear."

Passengers On A Bus joke, Just after the apartheid ...

A city bus driver is doing his route.

After picking up some passengers, an argument about race broke out. Most of the passengers on the bus are getting involved and after twenty minutes of bickering the driver, tired of the argument, slams on the brakes and stops in the middle of the street. Everyone shuts up. He stands up and shouts at them, "I'm TIRED of this. I'm an old man and I can't bear to listen to this arguing anymore. From now on, there's no black, there's no white, got it? We're all the same color. We're all green. Now everyone sit down, dark green in back, light green in front."

I've always thought about how nice it would be to die in my sleep like my grandfather did...

... and not screaming like all the passengers in the bus he was driving.

Credits to /u/GhostOfGuyFieri


When I die, I want to go like my granddad - peacfully in my sleep ...

... not screaming like the passengers on his bus

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like my uncle Charlie

Not kicking and screaming like the passengers on his bus

Passengers On A Bus joke, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like my uncle Charlie

One day a woman and her baby got onto a bus

As the woman paid the bus driver, he said to her, That is one ugly baby!"

The woman was furious and stomped to her seat.

"What's the matter?"asked
another passenger.

"The bus driver just insulted me!"

"Well go up there and tell him off
while I hold your monkey."

I was going to make a joke about that bus...

I was going to make a joke about that bus that rolled over and killed the driver and 9 passengers...

But there's no pun in ten dead.

I wish to die

peaceful and in sleep like my grandfather and not screaming and afraid like passengers in his bus.

Its good to die like my grandfather, painlessly in his sleep.

Its bad to die in a terrible accident, like the passengers on his bus.

You can explore passengers on a bus vehicle reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean passengers on a bus travellers dad jokes. There are also passengers on a bus puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Driving a bus

You're driving a bus with 12 passengers.

3 get off and 4 get on.

Next stop 5 get off and 2 get on.

Next stop 2 get off and 4 get on.

Now what color are the bus driver's eyes?

Just witnessed this classic on the bus

Passenger: Which bus are you?
Driver: I'm not a bus, I'm the driver.

The bus ride

Bus Passenger: Hi! I'm vacationing in your town. Does this bus stop at Elm Street?

2nd Passenger: Yes it does. Just watch me, and get off on stop before I do.

What do you call a gay black man on a bus ?

A passenger. You homophobic racist

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said "Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me." The passenger, who was also frightened, apologised and said he didn't realise that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much, to which the driver replied: "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

Passengers On A Bus joke, A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.

A bus breaks down and the driver pops the hood to investigate

A blonde passenger who is a certified mechanic comes out with her toolbox, eager to help and show off her training and also give blondes a good reputation for a change. She leans behind the bus driver and sees a loose bolt, so, helpful, she asks: "Fancy a screw driver?"

My grandad the bus driver passed away peacefully in his sleep yesterday

unlike his passengers

A priest and a bus driver stand outside the gates of heaven.

God lets the bus driver in, but denies entry for the priest. The priest exclaims:
-Why was that man let in? He gambles, drinks, sheats on his wife and is a bad father figure to his kids.
I on the other hand have served you my entire life.
God replies:
-That might be, but when you preach, everybody falls asleep in the church. When he drives the bus, all the passengers pray.


So this lady is getting on the bus with her baby...

And as she gets on, the bus driver glances at her child, does a double take and says "Gaaaaahhhh!!"
Well, this disturbs the lady, but she sits down.
The passenger next to her sees that she's disturbed, and asks what's wrong.
"The bus driver was VERY rude to me!"
The passenger says, "Well, you should go give him a piece of your mind! Let me hold your monkey for you."

Die while sleeping

It's best to die quietly while sleeping, like my grandpa instead of screaming like the passengers on his bus.

My dad died peacefully in his sleep yesterday.......

Not like all the passengers on his bus.

I want to die just like my grandfather, sleeping..

Not like all of the passengers of his bus, all screaming

When I will die..

.. I want to do it sleeping in quiet like my grandfather did..
..not screaming from fear like the passengers of his bus

My grandfather was lucky, he died peacefully in his sleep

Unofortunately the passengers on his bus died screaming in terror

A nude guy was running to catch up with a bus

He gets on the moving bus just in time, just to find the passengers and the conductor to be staring at him.
"Never seen a nude passenger before?" He asked, to which the conductor flatly replies, "nah, since ur palms are empty, wondering where you put the bus fare."

A man approached what was certainly a bad vehicle accident.

It seemed that a bus had been hit by a truck belonging to a major company. Strewn about on the ground were a dozen bus passengers. The man asked one of the passengers, Has anybody from the insurance company been here yet? The passenger shook his head from side to side. The man continued, Good, then you won't mind if I lie down here next to you!

I'd like to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandpa.

Not in pain and screaming in terror, like the passengers on the bus he was driving.

A bus full of journalists is on its way to Mar-a-Lago.

The bus veers off the road and overturns. Emergency vehicles rush to the scene, only to find Trump with a shovel in his hand, and Stephen Miller on a bulldozer.

A paramedic asks " What happened to all the passengers ? "

Trump says " They were all dead, so we buried them ! "

Stunned, the paramedic says " Do you mean everybody died ? "

Trump replies " Some of them claimed they weren't dead, but you know how the press lies ! "

A taxi passenger

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me?"

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."

The driver replied, "Sorry, its not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.

The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up onto the sidewalk, and stopped inches away from a lady with a baby stroller. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Hey, don't ever do that again. You scared the crap out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said he didn't realize that a little tap could scare him so much.

The driver replied, "I'm sorry. It's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

Driver

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, and nearly hit a bus. The shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me." The frightened passenger apologized and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. The driver replied, "No, I'm sorry, it's my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the passengers on a bus copilot jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working passengers on a bus seatmate piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes