party Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious party stories

What are the best Party puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Party? Well here is a complete list of Party dad jokes:

I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother.

It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.

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I threw my girlfriend a surprise bukakke party.

Everyone came, you should have seen her face.

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I had a bukkake party last night.

It was a disaster. Nobody came.

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A bloke went to his mate's fancy dress party with nothing but a girl on his back...

"So what the hell are you supposed to be?" the host asked. "I'm a snail." The bloke replied. "What a load of rubbish!" the host spat. "How can you be a snail when all you've got is that girl on your back?" "That's not a any girl, mate," the bloke replied, "that's Michelle".

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A lady and her butler

A rich couple was going out for the evening. The lady of the house decided to give the butler, Throckmorton, the night off.

She said they would be home very late and he should just enjoy his evening.

As it turned out, the wife didn't have a good time at the party, so she came home early. She walked into the house and eyed Throckmorton sitting alone in the dining room. She called for him to follow her. She led him to the master bedroom. She closed and locked the door. She looked at him and smiled.

"Throckmorton. Take off my dress." He did so, carefully.

"Throckmorton. Take off my stockings and garter." He silently obeyed her.

"Throckmorton. Remove my bra and panties." The tension mounted as he complied.

Finally she looked at him and said, "Throckmorton. If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired."

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The costume party (Sorry if this is a repost. Best joke I know.)

A man, lets call him jim, goes to his buddys costume party wearing nothing but a pair of pants.
Jim's friend walks over to him and says "hey, jim... uh what are you supposed to be?"
Jim smiles and says "well im a premature ejaculation."
His friend looks puzzled and asks "okay, well why arent you wearing any shoes... or a shirt?"
Jim laughs and says "I just came in my pants!"

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Halloween Party (NSFW)

A young lady was invited to a Halloween party, and upon arrival she notices a man wearing nothing but a glass jar on his penis... Intrigued, she approaches the man and asks what he's dressed as.

"A fireman" he replies

"Fireman? How so? You're only wearing a glass jar." She says

"Exactly. Break the glass, pull the knob, and I'll come as fast as I can"

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An eccentric billionaire throws a lavish party...

Please bear with me as I heard/read this one years ago so I might not recall the details correctly:

An eccentric billionaire is throwing a lavish party with guests from all over the world. As the party is well under way he asks his guests to walk over to his Olympic sized swimming pool where he had it filled with all kinds of dangerous creatures, sharks, piranhas, crocodiles, you name it it is there! So he tells his guests "I will give anything to the person who is brave enough to jump in the pool and swim across!" The place falls silent as the guests only whisper amongst themselves in bewilderment. "Anything that person can dream of will be his!" the billionaire tells the guests again. Suddenly a large splash is heard and a guy is seen struggling to swim through, and miraculously he makes it across! The room erupts in cheers and the billionaire approaches the man who swam across, and tells him "I am a man of my word, and since you made it across what do you desire? Money, mansions, my daughters hand in marriage?" The man still visibly shaken and struggling to catch his breath replies "I just want to know the name of the son of a bitch who pushed me in the pool!"

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I once threw an abstinence party...

And no one came.

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One day the youngest son asks his mother, "Mom, why do I look so different from all my siblings?"....

The mother says "Son, from what I remember about that party, you are lucky that you don't bark".

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My gay friend's had an 80's themes costume party.

I came dressed up as AIDS. Nobody really knew what I was at the start of the party, but by the end, everybody got it.

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I threw my girlfriend a surprise bukkake party.

You should have seen her face.

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Asian Keanu

Asian Keanu arrives at party.

Asian Keanu gets bored.

Asian Keanu Reeves.

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An older man walks into a bar...

...wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard. He sits down at a bar and orders a drink. As the bartender sets it down, he asks, "Going to a party?"

"Yeah, a costume party," the man answers, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."

"But you look like Abe Lincoln," protests the bartender.

"That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago."

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A chemistry lab is a lot like a party...

Some people drop acid while others drop the base.

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There's 500 bricks in a plane. How many are there if you throw one out?

"499"

There are three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator. What are they?
Open the fridge, put the elephant in, close the fridge.

There are four steps to putting a deer in the fridge. What are they?
Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the deer in, close the fridge.

The Lion King is having a birthday party. All the animals are there but one. Why is that?
The deer is in the fridge.

A woman wants to cross an alligator infested swamp. How does she do it?
She crosses normally because the alligators are at the Lion King's party.

She dies anyways. Why?
She gets hit in the head with a brick.

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A 60 year old billionaire marries a hot 24 year old...

During the wedding party, his friends ask him, How'd you land someone that young?

It's simple, said the billionaire, I faked my age!

I mean, I'm 43, and there's no way I could land her! , a friend exclaims. What age did you tell her you were?

Smiling mischievously, the billionaire responds, 85 years old.

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I lost my watch at a party once..

I found it ten minutes later, but some guy was stepping on it. As he stood on my watch, he was sexually harassing a young woman. So I walked up to him and punched him square in the face. Nobody does that to a girl. Not on MY watch.

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Asian keanu

Asian Keanu arrives at a party

Asian Keanu gets bored

Asian keanu Reeves

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Whats your name?

An attractive woman arrives at a party. While scanning the guests she spots an interesting looking man standing alone. She approaches him and says "Hello, my name is Carmen."
"That's a beautiful name" he says, "is it a family name?"
"No", she replies. "As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things I enjoy most...cars and men. Therefore I chose Carmen."
"What's your name?" she asks.

The man replies "B.J.......B.J. Titsngolf."

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Pastor in the KKK

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."

No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression." Again, all was quiet.

Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.

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Why did The Walrus go to a Tupperware party?

He wanted to find a tight seal.

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Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party

and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".

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I went to a fancy dress costume party the other day...

There was a guy standing there nude! Completely fucking naked with nothing but a girl on his back (also naked).

"What's your costume supposed to be?" I asked the man incredulously.

"I'm a snail obviously bro!" He smiled at my confusion and pointed at the girl he was carrying.

"This is Michelle."

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A guy walks into a Halloween party wearing nothin but jeans...

The host says "Hey man, I'm really glad you could make it, but I don't get your costume." The guest says "Oh, I'm a premature ejaculation. I just came in my pants."

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A depressed frog goes to visit a fortune teller

Hoping for good news he goes to meet with a fortune teller.

The fortune teller closes her eyes, makes some strange sounds, and finally says, "You will meet a beautiful young girl that will want to know everything about you"

The frog gets excited and says, "Wow! When will I meet her? At a party?"

"No," replied the fortune teller, "in her biology class."

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A fine country lady is hosting a dinner party

and she wants to serve her famous Mushroom Soup. She invites over the whole neighborhood for dinner. The day of her big event she runs out of mushrooms and the small country store is sold out. She panics! "What evah shall I do??" she pleads to her husband.

"Well" he says "There are lots of mushrooms growing back in the cow pasture. We could use those." "Absolutely not!" she yells. "Those might be poisonous!"

He replies "Tell ya what, I'll go back and pick some and you make a small batch of soup. We'll feed it to the dog, Jack. If he is OK in an hour or so, we'll know they're OK". With no other options, she agrees. He goes and gets the mushrooms, she makes up some soup and old Jack just LOVES it. He horfs it right down and is just happy as a clam.

Few hours go by and old Jack is just dandy. The lady of the house goes into full Dinner Party mode. She is running behind schedule now so she calls the neighbor girl over to help her prepare. The lady figures she should warn the girl about Jack but doesn't want to confess the whole story. She tells the girl to just keep a CLOSE EYE on Jack, that he is very special to the family, and to let her know if anything comes up.

A few hours later the guests start to arrive and they all sit down for an absolutely wonderful presentation of Mushroom Soup. The guests are raving about it. They can't get enough. Everyone is just having a wonderful evening,..

When all the sudden the neighbor girl bursts into the room in hysterics! "OLD JACK IS DEAD!!!!" she cries. "HE'S DEAD, JUST.. DEAD!!"

The country lady immediately jumps into action. She calls the paramedics, the hospital and the police! They all arrive quickly and begin pumping stomaches and administering anti-poison medicines. People are puking in the yard, screaming, and crying. Ambulance after Ambulance comes and goes with guest after guest for what seems like hours.

Finally.. at 5am an exhausted lady and her helpful neighbor girl are setting in the kitchen trying to take stock in what happened. The neighbor girl looks over at the lady and says

"It really is a shame. The guy that ran over old Jack didn't even stop."

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(NSFW) Blind guy Jeffery

A woman was having a bath. Soon enough there was a knock on the door. She was still naked. She then shouts out, "Who is it?". "It's just me, Jeffery".

Jeffery was the blind guy who lived next door. "No harm if I actually go up naked he can't see anything anyways" she thought to herself.

She opens the door, to see Jeffery smiling. "I'm having a party at my house this evening" he says . She asks "What's the occasion?" " I had a successful surgery" Jeffrey said. Curiously she asked what was the surgery for?




He replies with a grin, "Eye transplant"

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What happened when the cannibal was late to the dinner party?

He got the cold shoulder.

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Snow White and the Three Dwarfs met Goldilocks and the Seven Bears at a party last week

They exchanged numbers

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So I went to a party with a friend last night... NSFW

The host of the party was this really cute chick named Annie who was flirting with me pretty hardcore. She tells me she would like to go outside but says first I have to get her wheelchair... oh shit she's a paraplegic. I wasn't about to let that stop me so I help her into her chair and we go out back under this tree in the yard. Annie then opens up a backpack she had on the back of the chair and pulls out a swing of some sort. I hooked the swing up in the tree and I banged the living daylights out of that girl right there in the back yard. Best lay I've ever had. We finish up and now her parents are home but she just says it's cool. I help Annie down and roll her in the house where she introduces me to her folks. Her father shakes my hand and then hands me a fifty dollar bill. Confused I ask "What's this for?" Her dad looks me in the eye and says, "Because the last asshole just left her in the tree."

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Sex & Superheroes

It's annual superheroes new year's party. Batman and Spiderman are chatting.

All of a sudden the Hulk rushes in all red and perplexed.

"Whats up?" asked Batman.

"Well I was upstairs looking for the toilet and I passed the bedroom and saw Wonder Women naked on the bed and moaning and groaning. I started feeling randy and thought what the hell and jumped on top of her!"

"Was she surprised?" asked Spiderman.

"Yes but not as surprised as The Invisible Man!"

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I think there are nine vampires coming to my dinner party.

Oh, wait... I forgot to Count Dracula.

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A guy walks into a costume party only wearing jeans

The host asks him "What are you supposed to be?"

He says "I'm a premature ejaculation."

The host asks "I don't get it, why aren't you wearing a shirt, socks, shoes, or anything else?"

He says "I just came in my pants!"

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Two policemen are walking down the street in Soviet Russia...

...when they spot a guy standing next to the local Party Headquarters holding a paintbrush. On the wall, he's just written "The government is run by idiots!". The first policeman pulls out a pair of handcuffs and asks the second, "Shall we arrest him for vandalizing public property, or for divulging state secrets?".

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Ever been to a bulimic's birthday party? (fixed)

The cake jumps out of the girl.

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Two Jamaican men are invited to a costume party…

The invitation read come dressed as an emotion . Both of the men were stumped as to what to go as and thought long and hard for weeks. Finally on the day of the party, while they were sitting in the kitchen, an idea came to one of them. He jumped up, ran to the fridge and grabbed a large bowl of custard. He then took the biggest pear he could find from the fruit bowl and presented them to his friend.

Brilliant man , said his friend

That night at the party, the host hears a knock at the door and opens it to find both the Jamaican men almost completely naked. All that is protecting their modesty is the bowl of custard which the first man has held at his crotch with his junk fully submerged in the yellow desert, while the second man has the large pear shoved on the end of his erect cock. A little taken aback the host just manages to ask what emotion they may possibly be dressed as. To which the first man replies..

I am fucking dis custard

And the second man says…

And I 'ave come deep in dis pear

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there's a walrus walking down the street.

A man stops and asks him" where the hell you goin?" The walrus said" to a Tupperware party." The man, bewildered, asked " Why?" To which the walrus replied " heard I might find a tight seal."

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A woman scanned the guests at a party...

A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him. 'My name is Carmen,' she told him.
'That's a beautiful name,' he replied, 'Is it a family name?'
'No,' she replied. 'I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most - cars and men. What's your name?', she asked.
The man replied, 'B. J. Titsengolf''

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My Favorite Stalin Joke

Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes. "Who sneezed?" Silence. "First row! On your feet! Shoot them!" They are shot, and he asks again, "Who sneezed, Comrades?" No answer. "Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!" They are shot too. "Well, who sneezed?" At last a sobbing cry resounds in the Congress Hall, "It was me! Me!" Stalin says,

"Bless you, Comrade!"

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A man had no idea what to be for his costume party.

Nothing was working out for him, and it finally came to him.

Later that night he walked out wearing only jeans. His wife asked him what he was supposed to be. He replied "A premature ejaculation. I just came in my pants."

~Again an old one, but I like it. Sorry if it's a repost~

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Just heard this on the radio. May the censors have mercy on their soul. [NSFW]

On a Sunday school, the teacher asks the class: "Class, what body party goes to heaven first?"

One kid answers, "It's the feet!"

"Why is it the feet?" the confused teacher asks.

The kid replies, "Because last night I found Mommy with her feet in the air screaming 'Oh God yes...heaven...I'm coming!' "

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There's a huge party at the orphanage tonight

Their parents are gone.

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The "Talk"

The teenage son came home a saturday morning after begin at a party with some friends the night before.

His dad is in the kitchen, sees him and askes "How did it go son?"

"Good, good" the son replied "I had sex last night"

The father thought about the information for a couple of seconds, deciding it was now time to have the talk about the birds and the bees.

So they sat at the dinner table and had the talk.

When they were as good as done the father looked at his son "and remember, if you have any questions, never be afraid to ask"

"Well I have one" the son replied

"Yes?"

"For how long is my ass going to hurt this badly?"

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What happens to the cannibal who is late to the party?

He gets the cold shoulder.

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I'm so upset- I threw a bukkake party last night, but it was a complete disaster.

Nobody came.

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What did the late arriving cannibal receive at the dinner party?

The cold shoulder.

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WALKS INTO A BAR... SEXY LINCOLN

An older man walks into a bar wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard. He sits down at a bar and orders a drink. As the bartender sets it down, he asks, "Going to a party?"

"Yeah, a costume party," the man answers, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."

"But you look like Abe Lincoln," protests the bartender.

"That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago."

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Why did the walrus go to the tupperware party?

Because he was looking for a tight seal. ;)

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A group of 8 year old kids mysteriously get drunk at a slumber party

A boy has 5 of his friends over for a slumber party. His friends mom buys the kids two 2 liter bottles of Root Beer and begins serving it to the kids. Before the kids get through the first bottle they begin to act drunk, and the parents begin to notice that they smell like alcohol. One of the kids then throws up and the parents confirm that the kid has thrown up an alcoholic beverage. The parents set aside the rest of the Root Beer and call the police. The police arrive and inspect the rest of the Root Beer in the bottle from which the kids were being served. They find absolutely no trace of alcohol in the Root Beer, and are at first stumped, until one of the officers notices the glasses in which the parents were serving the Root Beer. The officer then looks at the parents and says "Here's the problem right here." Both parents look at each other, baffled. The officer concludes: "You served the kids Root Beer in square glasses."

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CONCLUSION

You've red some of the best party jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 50 puns about party. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty party gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laugh? How do you make someone laugh? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter just like dad jokes. Some of these party jokes are funny and some are hilarious. With this collection it's easy to be a joker. Have fun and dig deeper into our archive.

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