Party Jokes

Hilarious puns and funny pick up lines

I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother.

It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.

I threw my girlfriend a surprise bukakke party.

Everyone came, you should have seen her face.

In USSR we had this joke

An old Jew is on his deathbed. With weak voice he asks to call for a partorg because before his death he wants to join the Communist Party. A happy partorg rushes to him with filled out membership form to sign and a ready Party membership card. As the Jew signs the form he carefully takes the membership card and presses it against his heart.
In a peaceful and happy voice he whispers: "Today one more communist will die"

How many D&D players does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them. Never split the party.

A man goes to a costume party wearing nothing but his underwear and a woman on his back.

His friends see him and say, Hey man, what are you supposed to be?
He replies, Oh, I'm dressed as a turtle.
His friends respond, A turtle? How are you a turtle? Who's that woman on your back?
The man replies, Oh that's just Michelle.

I threw a surprise bukkake party for a girl friend of mine.

Everybody came.
You should have seen her face.

[NSFW] Yesterday I gave a surprise bukkake party to my roommate...

...everyone came.

You should have seen her face.

A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl..

After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...

After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..

"It's simple" billionaire boasts...
"I faked my age"

"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?" A friend asks.

With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
"85 years old"

A man goes to a costume party with nothing but a naked woman on his back.

"What the hell are you supposed to be, then?" the host asks.

"I'm a turtle," the man replies.

"What a pile of shite!" the host replies. "How can you be a turtle when all you've got is that naked woman on your back?"

"Oh her?" the man smiles. "That's just Michelle!"

**INFINITY WAR SPOILERS**

Ok now that all the nerds are gone, there's a party going on at my place this Saturday. hmu if you're interested.

A police officer accidentally arrested a judge who was dressed like a convict for a costume party.

He quickly learned to never book a judge by their cover

A guy goes to a halloween party with a girl on his back.

The host asks him, "And what are you?"
The guy says, " I'm a snail."
The host says "And who's that on your back?"
"That's Michelle!"

I had a bukkake party last night.

It was a disaster. Nobody came.

I invited my girlfriend of 3 months to a party for my 13 year old nephew. She let out an audible "awww," told me how sweet I was and that my invitation meant the world to her.

Should've seen the look on her face when I told her it was a search party.

A little girl is having a tea party with her teddy bear.... "Would you like anything to eat Mr. Bear?"

The bear responds:"No, I'm stuffed."

I'm throwing a party for people who can't ejaculate

Let me know if you can come or not

My Wife needed something to cheer her up...

That's why I surprised her with a bukkake party. Everyone came. You should've seen her face.

One guy wrote on his FB status:

"Last night, even after having 7 drinks I felt confident to drive, but l acted responsibly & took an Uber."

400 Likes, 40 Comments. But the best comment was from his best friend:

"Where did you go in UBER bro, party was in your house"

A black guy and a white girl are at a party

A black guy and a white girl are at a party. After a while they go together to a room, and she asks excited: "Show me if what they say about black men is true". He grabs her purse and runs

A bloke went to his mate's fancy dress party with nothing but a girl on his back...

"So what the hell are you supposed to be?" the host asked. "I'm a snail." The bloke replied. "What a load of rubbish!" the host spat. "How can you be a snail when all you've got is that girl on your back?" "That's not a any girl, mate," the bloke replied, "that's Michelle".

A man goes to a Halloween party dressed up as a chicken and he meets a girl dressed up as an egg.

The answer is the chicken.

A doctor and a lawyer

During a party, a doctor is telling a lawyer that he is sick of his friends asking him for free medical advice. The lawyer says, "just do what I do, and leave a bill in their mailbox." The doctor decides he'll give that a try and thanks his lawyer friend. When the doctor gets home, he has a bill in his mailbox from the lawyer.

What's worse than waking up at a party with a dick drawn on your face?

finding out it was traced

007 recieves a new mission... to infiltrate a party and mingle.

His orders are to, "bond James, bond".

The costume party (Sorry if this is a repost. Best joke I know.)

A man, lets call him jim, goes to his buddys costume party wearing nothing but a pair of pants.
Jim's friend walks over to him and says "hey, jim... uh what are you supposed to be?"
Jim smiles and says "well im a premature ejaculation."
His friend looks puzzled and asks "okay, well why arent you wearing any shoes... or a shirt?"
Jim laughs and says "I just came in my pants!"

A boy goes to his Mom and says, Mom, how come you're white and I'm black?

His Mom replies, Son, the way I remember that party, you're lucky you don't fucking bark.

Halloween Party (NSFW)

A young lady was invited to a Halloween party, and upon arrival she notices a man wearing nothing but a glass jar on his penis... Intrigued, she approaches the man and asks what he's dressed as.

"A fireman" he replies

"Fireman? How so? You're only wearing a glass jar." She says

"Exactly. Break the glass, pull the knob, and I'll come as fast as I can"

I went to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken. Met a girl dressed as an egg. A question as old as time was answered

The chicken

Isn't this whole Ashley Madison hack exactly what their users wanted?

To get fucked by a third party?

Had a house party last night

...and there's always one left over! Laid on the floor in the corner, still that drunk? He couldn't even stand! Asked him where he lived, then dragged him down the driveway to my car, his legs all over the place, picked him up, threw him inside, & took him home. Dragged him up to his house & knocked on his front door, "I've brought your son home."
His mother replied, "Where is his wheel chair?"

I once threw an abstinence party...

And no one came.

A kid asks, "Mommy, how come I'm black and you're white?"

The mom replies, "Listen, the way I remember that party you're lucky you don't bark."

Another Halloween joke

There's a costume party, and this guy shows up dressed in nothing but a pair of jeans. The host yells at him: "You were supposed to dress up man, and you just show up shirtless?"

The guy replies: "I'm a premature ejaculation. I just came in my pants."

One day the youngest son asks his mother, "Mom, why do I look so different from all my siblings?"....

The mother says "Son, from what I remember about that party, you are lucky that you don't bark".

A guy goes to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken and meets a girl dressed as an egg.

The answer is the chicken.

When I go to a costume party this year, I'm showing up wearing only a pair of jeans.

That way when I'm asked what my costume is, I'll say "I'm a premature ejaculator. I just came in my pants."

Why was e^x so lonely at the party?

Because every time he tried to integrate, he ended up with himself.

My girlfriend's parents called me a disgusting creep just because I am 36 and she is 24

What a horrible thing to say on our son's 10th birthday party.

I was invited to a party...

'Black tie only' was written on the invitation card. When I got there, I noticed that other people worn shirts and pants, too.

My gay friend's had an 80's themes costume party.

I came dressed up as AIDS. Nobody really knew what I was at the start of the party, but by the end, everybody got it.

However, he can't, because the punch line is out of order.

A man at a party wants to grab some punch, so he walks to the punch line.

I went to a party last night...

..and everyone was watching a movie on the TV. I being introverted, hadn't talked with anyone and was watching movie by myself. When the movie ended, everyone was debating on what to watch next.


I decided to put on the movie I had brought from home. It was pretty funny and had Jim Carrey in it.


Everyone really like it. People started talking to me and thanking me for the movie. No one cared who I was until I put on The Mask.

I threw my girlfriend a surprise bukkake party.

You should have seen her face.

I saw a man walking down the road with a woman on his back

I said "where are you going?"

He replied "Fancy dress party"

"What as?" I asked

"Tortoise" the man shouted back

"Who's she?" I questioned

To which he responded "That's Michelle"

Asian Keanu

Asian Keanu arrives at party.

Asian Keanu gets bored.

Asian Keanu Reeves.

An older man walks into a bar...

...wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard. He sits down at a bar and orders a drink. As the bartender sets it down, he asks, "Going to a party?"

"Yeah, a costume party," the man answers, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."

"But you look like Abe Lincoln," protests the bartender.

"That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago."

How do you stop a Mormon from drinking all the beer at your party?

Invite a second Mormon.

A man goes to a costume party wearing nothing but pants...

The host asks: "What are you supposed to be?"

The man replies: "I am a premature ejaculation!"

To which the host replies: "Interesting... But why are you not wearing a shirt or shoes or a hat or anything else?"

The man says: "Well I just came in my pants!"

A couple are getting ready for a Halloween party.

The wife walks out with only a lemon hanging over her snatch. The husband takes one look and storms off to the kitchen and return with a potato on his dong. The wife says "what the hell" and the husband replies "well shit, if you're going as a sour puss then I'm going as a dictator"

A chemistry lab is a lot like a party...

Some people drop acid while others drop the base.

I lost my watch at a party.

After some intensive searching through the crowd, I spotted it lying on the floor. There was a guy standing on it. When I looked up, I saw the guy harassing a girl, touching her at all the wrong places. She obviously didn't approve. So I walked over there and punched this guy in the face. Nobody treats girls like that. Not on my watch.

A man walks into a costume party in nothing but a pair of blue jeans

The host asks him, "What are you supposed to be?" He responds, "I'm a premature ejaculation." The host says, "Umm... I don't completely understand."

"Well," the man says, "I just came in my pants."

Facts of life

At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he thought that he'd be around for his 104th.

"I certainly do," he replied. "Statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."

My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party,

So I made her and all her friends clean the house.

I was at a party...

I was walking around when I realized I had left my watch on the bed in the master bedroom. I worked my way through the crowd of people and opened the bedroom door. There on the bed was a guy who was sexually assaulting a drunk girl. I walked right up to him and punched him square in the face. Nobody is going to sexually assault a girl...not on my watch.

I did a suprise bukkake party for my wife...

Everybody came. You should have seen her face!

Man goes to a Halloween party in nothing but his underwear and a woman strapped to his back.

His friend sees him and says, "Hey, what are you meant to be?"

"Oh, I'm dressed as a turtle" he replies

His friend responds, "A turtle? How are you a turtle? Who's that woman on your back?"

The man replies, "oh, that's just Michelle"

A 60 year old billionaire marries a hot 24 year old...

During the wedding party, his friends ask him, How'd you land someone that young?

It's simple, said the billionaire, I faked my age!

I mean, I'm 43, and there's no way I could land her! , a friend exclaims. What age did you tell her you were?

Smiling mischievously, the billionaire responds, 85 years old.

What's the difference between a Pakistani wedding party and an Al-Qaeda training camp?

Dunno, I just fly the drone.

Nothing embarrasses a psychic more than a surprise party.

In USSR we had a joke

A terminally ill jewish man is on his deathbed. With weak voice he asks to call for a partorg because before his death he wishes to join the Communist Party. A partorg rushes to him with filled out membership form to sign and a ready party membership card. As the Jew signs the form he takes the membership card and presses it against his heart. In a peaceful and happy voice he whispers: "Today one more communist dies"

A quantum particle walks into two bars.

In one, he has a few drinks, becomes the life of the party, gets lucky and has a splendid time.

In the other he drinks too much, picks a fight with the wrong company and ends up beaten to half of his life.

The next day, he happens to meet an old buddy. After some very small talk, his friend asks

" hey, so what did you do last night?"

the particle, bruised and beaten shouts "DAMN IT MAN did you have to ask!!"

Told my girlfriend that there was a party in my pants and that she was invited.

She asked if it was a search party :(

A woman runs into a man at the grocery store

Woman: Hi there!
Man: Do you know me?
Woman: I think you're the father of one of my kids.
Man: Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?
Woman: No.... I'm your son's teacher.

What's worse than passing out and waking up after a party and finding a penis drawn on your face?

Finding out it was traced.

My mother asked me to hand out invitations to my brother's surprise party.

That's when I realized he was her favourite twin.

What are the funniest party jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Party? Well, here are the best Party puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Party pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes