Parts Jokes

170 parts jokes and hilarious parts puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about parts that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get ready to laugh at these hilarious car and body parts jokes. From fake car parts to spare parts, NAPA auto parts to brain parts, we have a wide selection of jokes related to factories, bits, and components.

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Funniest Parts Short Jokes

Short parts jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The parts humour may include short partial jokes also.

  1. Im surprised that Roy Moore wants a recount; a large gap in number had never bothered him before. Get it?
  2. a guy got an interview for a job with EA Boss: the second part of your resume is missing
    Applicant: for the second part you have to pay 20$
    Boss: welcome on board
  3. I think the most patriotic part of the entire super bowl was Rihanna's halftime performance Because there's nothing more American than for a woman to work while she's pregnant.
  4. The best part about being Russian, is getting to vote in American elections. Which is nice, because we never get to vote in our own.
  5. What is the most sensitive part of your body while pleasuring yourself? Your ear listening for foot steps.
  6. After you die, the last part of your body to stop working are your pupils because... ...they dilate!
  7. I got frostbite and had part of my foot amputated. Then my girlfriend left me. She was lack-toes intolerant.
  8. When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body, but I'm so polite... ...I only look at the covered parts.
  9. When wearing a bikini,women reveal 90% of their body When wearing a bikini,women reveal 90% of their are so polite they only look at the covered parts
  10. After you die, what part of the human body is the last to stop working? Your pupils; they dilate.

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Parts One Liners

Which parts one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with parts? I can suggest the ones about portion and attachments.

  1. When you die what body part dies last? The pupils, they dilate
  2. Don't spell part backwards It's a trap
  3. is my wife ashamed of my body? a tiny part of me says yes.
  4. What's the cheapest part of a house? The roof tiles, because they're on the house.
  5. What's the best part about summer in the U.S.? 3 months of no school shootings.
  6. Is my girlfriend disappointed in my body? A tiny part of me says 'yes'.
  7. What's the hardest part of making a vegan pizza? Skinning the vegan.
  8. I have to ask myself, is my wife unsatisfied? a tiny part of me says yes
  9. Frog DNA... A frog got his DNA test back.
    He's part Scottish, part Irish and a tad Pole.
  10. What's the worst part about being gay? You cant think straight.
  11. Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says Yes
  12. I voted for Jill Stein Finally I'm part of the 1%
  13. What's the best part about dating a black girl? You don't have to meet her father.
  14. The worst part about an apple addiction Is that you can't go and see a doctor about it
  15. What's the worst part of an nfl wedding? Getting hit by Rice

Car Parts Jokes

Here is a list of funny car parts jokes and even better car parts puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is the worst part about locking your keys inside your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go inside and asking for a coat hanger.
  • What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood? Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.
  • What can you say about your car but not about your girlfriend? "It died a few weeks ago but I still use parts of it."
  • I ran my car into a pole late last night The worst part was the awful sound it made, but I don't speak polish so I just kept driving
  • What's the worst part of running into your ex? You have to get out and check to see how bad your car is damaged.
  • A plane full of Japanese car parts just exploded in mid-air Apparently it's raining Datsun cogs
  • What's the worst part about locking yourself out of your car outside of a Planned Parenthood? Having to go inside to ask for a coat hanger
  • What's the best part about clown college spring break? Everybody can go to Daytona Beach in one car
  • I got invited to test a new car made entirely of spare computer parts It was a hard drive
  • Volkswagon were pretty dumb to name one of their cars 'Golf' Why name a car after a slow and boring sport where the hardest part is driving

Brain Parts Jokes

Here is a list of funny brain parts jokes and even better brain parts puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Trump has two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right.
    In the right side, there's nothing left.
  • Most Fascinating Part of the Body I used to think the brain was the most fascinating part of the body but then i realized "pssssh, look what's telling me that"
  • They say the brain is the most important part of the body... But think about who's telling us that.
  • Trump has 2 parts of his brain, the right part and the left part The right part has nothing left
    And the left part got nothing right
  • I am your Doctor. Sorry to inform you that you have a brain problem. Your brain is in 2 parts... Left and right.
    The left part has nothing right in it, and the right has nothing left in it'
  • Donald Trump's brain has two parts. The right part and the left part but,
    The right part has nothing left.
    The left part has nothing right.
  • Why does the brain experience so much anxiety? Because it's part of the nervous system
  • Why is the brain always anxious? It's part of the nervous system.
  • My brain is like an F-22 Raptor Aging, no longer in production and spare parts not available.
  • Your brain has 2 parts! The left part where nothing is right and
    Right part where nothing is left
Parts joke, Your brain has 2 parts!

Parts Department Jokes

Here is a list of funny parts department jokes and even better parts department puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • As part of his infrastructure plan, President Biden will be creating a new department to work with the Department of Defense It will be called the Department of Degate
  • Which part of his new job disappointed the cannibal? The human resources department
  • Internal note from Department Head to all employees Dear Employees,
    We do get to know when you are texting during meetings. Seriously, nobody looks at their private parts and smile.
  • I work for a garbage department in a garbage company. The worst part is? *We don't even recycle.*
  • What is a Jehovah's witnesses' favourite part of ikea The door department
  • As part of the alignment of strategy for cabinet departments, Trump announced to congress his plan for housing vouchers Redeemable for a cardboard box behind Safeway.
  • The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired you still have to show up the next day.
  • What part of the police department does Gumby work in? Rubbery h**....
    This joke was the first thing that popped in my head when I woke up today.

Auto Parts Jokes

Here is a list of funny auto parts jokes and even better auto parts puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A guy walks into an auto parts store and says to the clerk, "I would like a pair of new windshield wipers for my Yugo." The clerk responds, "Sounds like a fair trade."
  • I went into the Auto Parts store I said:
    "I want a new gas cap for my AMC Gremlin."
    The owner said:
    "Sounds like a fair trade."
  • So a Hipster goes into an auto parts store and asks for a fuel cap for his Smart Car. The sales guy thinks for a moment and says, Yeah, O.K. that is a fair swap.
  • Why don't auto repair shops fix golf carts? Because they work with parts for cars, not carts for pars.
  • What's Napa Auto Parts Native American policy? Napa No-Howgh!
  • Why did Chief Auto Parts change the company's name? i**... trouble
  • Here's a pretty good joke about your pet marine mammal having s**... in an auto parts store. Your welcome in advance.

Body Parts Jokes

Here is a list of funny body parts jokes and even better body parts puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • When women wear a bikini, they expose 90% of their bodies..... Men are so polite, they only look at the covered parts.
  • A pirate's wife asks him what body part he'd be most okay with losing The pirate thinks and replies, "my spine!"
    "Why?" says his wife, a little surprised
    "Because it's holding me back!"
  • What part of the body dies last? The pupils, they dilate
  • When wearing a bikini women show 90% of their body. Men are really polite to only look at the covered parts.
  • What's the worst part of my body? The spine, it really holds me back.
  • What is the last part of your body to die? Your eyes.....because they dilate.
  • What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Arrrrrrrrt.
    What's a pirate's favorite body part?
    The arrrrrm.
    What's a pirate's favorite branch of the military?
    No. The Navy you idiot.
  • What part of your body shouldn't move while dancing? Your bowels!
  • When you die, what part of the body dies last? The pupils…they dilate.
  • When wearing a bikini, a woman reveals 90 % of her body Men are so polite that they only look at the covered part.
Parts joke, When wearing a bikini, a woman reveals 90 % of her body

Unearthly Funniest Parts Jokes to Tickle Your Sides

What funny jokes about parts you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean props jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make parts pranks.

Three Engineers

A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a civil engineer are sitting around and talking about God.
The mechanical engineer says, "God is a mechanical engineer. Just look at the human body - a light-weight skeleton with moving parts holding up a massive frame of muscle and fat. God must be a mechanical engineer!"
The electrical engineer disagrees. "No, no. God is an electrical engineer. Just look at the human body - the nerve system routes electrical signals to the brain which is essentially a computer. God must be an electrical engineer!"
The civil engineer disagrees. "No, no. God is a civil engineer. Just look at the human body - only a civil engineer would run a toxic waste pipe through a playground."

An essay is like a girl's skirt...

It should be long enough to cover the important parts, but short enough to still be interesting.

Man goes to a doctor

A man goes to the doctor and says "doctor, I have pain all over my body, everywhere I touch hurt". He then proceeds to point to various parts of his body cringing in pain. The doctor gives him a thorough examination and concludes. "Sir, it appears you have a broken finger".

So Jesus, Moses and an old man go golfing

The first to play is Jesus. After his swing, the ball land in the lake. He runs towards it, walks on the water and grabs the ball. Then it's Moses' turn. Bad luck, the same thing happens to him. He walks to the lake, spreads the water into two parts and grabs the ball on the dry ground. Finally, it's time for the old man to play. His ball lands on the top of a tree. Instead of getting the ball, he just waits. After a few minutes, a squirrel hiding in the tree takes the ball and goes down. Then a wolf attacks the squirrel, kills it and eats it. He goes further and ends up vomitting the ball, which is then taken by an eagle. The eagle goes even further, but a hunter shoots it down. The ball falls down and lands exactly in the golf hole. It's hole-in-one and the old man wins. Moses looks at Jesus and says: "I hate playing with your dad."
Sorry if it's a bit long, but I really like that one. Also sorry for my writing, I'm not a native English speaker.

I like my women how I like my math problems:

Short, easy, and with no imaginary parts.

I got jumped by three black men downtown the other day...

They were quite polite the whole time they were jumping me. Even gave me directions to the nearest auto parts store so I could get a new car battery.

A guy asks for a tattoo on his........

A guy asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his private parts. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that.
He replies, "Three reasons: I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and $100 seems to be the only thing my wife will blow these days."


When checking a patient in for surgery, he said he was a mechanic. I said, "Good, the surgeon likes that because you understand when there are parts left over."

Three little old ladies are sitting at a bus stop...

...when suddenly a man in a trench coat runs up to them and tears open the coat, flashing them his manly parts.
Two of the little old ladies immediately have a s**....
The third couldn't quite reach.

Three old women in the park

There were three old woman in the park when suddenly a semi-n**... man walks up to them and shows his private parts. The first old woman saw him and had a s**.... The second old woman saw and also had a s**.... The third old woman did not have a s**... because her arms were too short.

Little more time.

Little Johnny and a little girl are playing. Little Johnny pulls down his shorts and says, "I have one of these and you don't." The little girl starts crying and crying and runs home to her mother. The next day Little Johnny and the girl are playing together again. Once again Little Johnny points to his private parts and says, "I have one of these and you don't." But this time the little girl just keeps on playing. "How come you're not crying today," asks Little Johnny. "My mother told me," says the little girl, pulling up her dress, "that with one of these, I can get as many of those as I want."

A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body

A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

Two men go hunting......

o**... is looking through his new scope and says, "Hey I can see your house from here and your wife's cheating on ya." He buddy says, "I'm tired of her. Shoot her in the head and him in the private parts." He looks back and says, "I can get that in one shot."

Guys wife in horrible accident & now in a coma...

...& seems hopeless. However one of the nurses noticed slight movement when sponging her private parts & encouraged the husband to try & arouse her. Try a little o**... s**... is all, you never know. We'll give you privacy. So the husband goes in, but 2 minutes later the wife flat-lines & dies. The nurse runs in & asks what happened.
"I'm not positive, but I think she choked to death!"

A man lies n**... on the beach...

But because his private parts aren't as tanned as the rest of his body, he place a hat on it. A few minutes later a lady walks by, fully n**.... The lady jokinly said to the man "Well, if you were a gentleman, you would raise your hat for me..." The man answered in return "Well, m'lady, the hat would raise itself, if you weren't that ugly."

Marriage joke

A little boy says, 'Dad, I've heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.' 'Son,' says the dad. 'That happens everywhere.'

I regret falling in love with my British girlfriend.

You give your heart to her and she Brexit into a million parts.

When I was in kindergarten...

I met a really beautiful girl. We really liked each other. We were constantly kissing and holding hands, even showed our private parts, until one day the teacher came and caught us, needless to say, I got fired.

A man from out of town walks into a bar...

he sees large pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender why the meat is hanging down from the ceiling. The bartender says "Around these parts we have a challenge. If you can jump up and touch the meat, you get it for free. If you can't you have to pay the price of the meat but you don't get it. How about taking the bet?" The man looks up at the meat. "Nah" He says. "The steaks are too high.

Three men walk into a car part store...

I need taillights for a Mustang the first one says. What year? the employee asks. 2015 he answers. There you go , the worker hands in the parts. The second guy goes to the counter, saying I need a steering wheel for a Mustang . What year?
1997 he answers. There you go . After he payed, the third guy comes to the counter. I need rear suspensions for a Mustang . There you go .

Women expose 90% of their body when wearing a bikini

Men are nice enough to only look at the covered parts

Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog.

You understand it better, but it dies in the process.
See what I did there was use the frog as an analogy to show that exposing the inner workings of a joke would essentially deprive it of its life in that it's not funny anymore. I'm drawing a parallel (and so is E. B. White) to how you basically kill a frog when dissecting it to better understand the functioning of its inner body parts, since there is now little left in the joke to laugh at.

A cop shows up to a gory car wreck (long)

A cop shows up to a gory car wreck and immediately sees several body parts lying around. He takes out his pen and pad to make some notes for his report.
"Left arm - found in ditch"
"Left leg - found in ditch"
~~"Head - found in bulavard~~
~~"Head - found in boulavard~~
"Head - found in ditch"

A rope walks into a bar

The bartender says "We don't serve your kind".
So the rope walks out, twists himself up and parts his hair and then walks back in.
The bartender asks "Aren't you the same guy who was here a moment ago?".
The rope replies "I'm a frayed knot."

Bob ,did you know.............??

**JIM**: Bob ,did you know people eat manure in some parts of the world?
**BOB**: Thats pure b**...!!!
**JIM**: Exactly.

A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad replied, "That is true in every country, son."

My PC Died today and my friend offered me to lend me his PS4 while i waited for replacements parts.

........But i was simply unconsolable

What does a p**... call their g**...?

Their public parts

What's worse than eating 11 oysters off your grandma's private parts

Realising you only put 10

Yesterday, I saw a guy harassing a diabetic who recently had parts of his foot amputated.

I guess the first guy was lack toes intolerant.

My wife and I were on honeymoon at Australia last week.

I called up the Aussie helpline as we had a problem
"Aussie helpline, what's the problem?"
"Well, my wife and I were swimming yesterday, and a jellyfish stung her in her... uhm, lady parts. Anything we can do?"
"Ah, bummer mate"
"Perfect! I hadn't thought about that, thanks!"

What's a banana made of?

One part barium, two parts sodium.

Parked my car in Mexico City last night. Came out in the morning to find a gang of kids had come and stolen all the parts off it.

Jesus took the wheel.

A restaurant in my town just started serving human body parts.

They've really got a leg up on the competition now.


Three professors visit a nudist beach, and s**... off. After some time they notice the Dean and his wife approaching. Two of the professors immediately cover their private parts with towels, but the professor of logic covers his face. When asked why, he says "My face is the way that I am usually recognised".

Jesus and Moses are walking by the Red Sea when Moses goes

"Hey Jesus, check this out. I still got it!" and parts the waters.
Jesus responds "That's nothing!" and starts walking out on the water. He takes a few steps and starts sinking.
Embarrassed, he swims to shore and Moses drags him out. "Don't worry", Moses says, "last time you did this you didn't have those holes in your feet."

The difference between "s**..." and "perverted"...

Q: What's the difference between "s**..." and "perverted"?
A: It's s**... if a girl let's you watch while she's stimulating her nether parts with a feather. It becomes perverted if there's a bird still attached to the feather...

So a piece of string goes into a bar...

The bartender says, "we don't serve your kind here."
The string goes outside, twists itself, and parts its hair.
And the string goes back inside, and the bartender yells, "aren't you the same guy from earlier!"
The string replies only with, "I'm a frayed knot."

I assembled an IKEA keyboard

it's amain h**... many spare parts they ive you

Why does the head of EA like micro transactions so much?

It describes two distinct parts of his s**... life

California hasn't fallen into the sea, so apparently it worked.

Back in the 1970's there was a cult in California who believed that they could save California by appeasing the San Andreas. There were parts of San Andreas that literally gaped open wide, and members of the cult were noted for throwing all their earthly possessions down into the amazingly deep cracks in the Earth's crust. Of course, skeptics accused the cult of being merely generous to a fault.

TIL some parts of the Titanic are still functional to this day!

The pools are still full!

I'm starting a club that discusses the good and bad parts of poetry in prison.

It's called "Prose and Cons"

Guys walks in to a parts store. Can I get a new gas cap for my Yugo?

The attendant replies, sounds like a fair trade to me.

Jim and Dave are walking down the street when they see a dog l**... his private parts....

"I wish i could do that" says Jim
"Give him a biscuit and he will probably let you"

Back in ancient Egypt, the standardized units of measurements were based off the length of the current pharoah's body parts. The pointer finger would be one unit of measurement, the forearm another, and so on.

It could be noted, the pharoah was the ruler.

There are japanese car parts falling from the sky here

It's raining datsun cogs

A dog is l**... his private parts

Two men are watching a dog lick his private parts.
First guy says, "I wish I could do that."
Second guy says, "You should probably pet him first."

You ever take something apart, poke around inside and put everything back only to realize you've left some parts out?

It's why I'm not a surgeon anymore

A man decided to sunbathe on the beach.

He took all of his clothes off, except that he covered his private parts with a hat to prevent a sunburn. As he's sunbathing, a woman walks past him. She looks at the man and snidely remarks:
"A true gentleman would always tip his hat for a lady."
To which the man replies:
"Ma'am, if you were a true lady, it would tip itself."

It's interesting how different parts of the country have different ways of saying the same thing.

For instance, in most parts of the country, having an income of $100k or more is called "making six figures".
However, here in San Francisco, we call that same thing "living above the poverty line".

Scientists need to stop surveying the deepest parts of the ocean with their high-tech equipment

They should send Neymar Jr. instead because he is the greatest diver in the world.

A serial killer who was known for taking body parts as trophies

A serial killer who was known for taking body parts as trophies was captured after attacking a uniformed police officer and severing her arm. When asked why he went after the officer despite knowing the danger, he simply replied, "It was a wrist I was willing to take."

A piece of string walks into a bar

The bar tender says sorry we don't serve you kind round here
The string leaves, twists himself up, parts his hair and walks back into the bar,
The bartender says sorry aren't you the same guy from before
The string replies I'm a frayed knot

In a strange way, I was really looking forward to the hurricane and I was disappointed when it was downgraded...

I thought others round these here parts would echo my sentiment, but I guess Carolinians are used to being disappointed by the Hurricanes.

A Sea Captain is complaining about how difficult his life is without a leg and an arm

He says to his crew mates, " When ye missin' two major parts of ye, thar ain't many things ye can do. "
The lookout hollers from the crow's nest " I 'ave it worse Captain! "
" Oh!? " The Sea Captain exclaims " 'n which two parts of ye be missin'? "
To which the lookout replies " Eye, eye Captain! "

"Sorry, we don't serve your kind around these parts" says the bartender.

A tachyon walks into a bar.

A Crossbow is like a Beautiful Woman

It has a lot of complicated parts and if you handle them wrong it will snap and break your fingers.

PETA should respect Steve Irwin

PETA should respect Steve Irwin by eating him and using all his parts, not letting anything go to waste.
That's how my uncle, a hunter, explains "respect" anyway.

This joke has to be told to someone in person

This joke has three parts. A man is driving and his wife asks him to slow down, he slaps her an says I'm the one driving not you .
The second part is, the woman is cooking food for her and her husband and the husband asks her not to put so much salt in, she slaps him and says I'm the one cooking not you
The fourth part is...
person listening: what you said there were three parts.
I'm the one telling the joke not you

my aunt ruth died in a horrible e**...

they couldn't even find any body parts to put in the casket
the f**... was ruthless.

I used to go into shopping centres and rotate the body parts of the mannequins...

I don't think everyone noticed, but I certainly turned a few heads.

Has anyone else noticed that s**...

Is No parts backwards. How ironic

A rope walks into a bar...

The bartender points at him and says, "Hey! We don't serve your kind around here. Get out! "
The rope calmly exits the building, twists himself up, parts his hair, and goes back inside a few minutes later.
The bartender sees him again and asks angrily, "Aren't you that rope I just kicked out?"
"No, sir." the rope responds, "I'm a frayed knot."

In order to get to the valves, a mechanic carefully removed the engine parts from a car while the car owner - a surgeon - looked on.

Afterwards the mechanic said to the surgeon:
'You know, I reckon my line of work is every bit as difficult and skilled as yours.'
'Perhaps,' said the surgeon, 'But I'd like to see you do it while the engine is running.'

Annoyed at my constant reminders to stop eating her own body parts,

my wife threw up her hands in frustration.

Reposting my favorite joke for cakeday!

So a string walks into a bar, bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." The string walks out, parts and ruffles his hair and walks back in. The bartender asks "Aren't you the same guy from earlier?". The string replies "I'm a FRAYED KNOT".

What do Bad computers and Children have in common?

They're worth more if you sell their parts separately

I don't mind my geometry teacher asking me to draw a circle. But to then ask me to turn that circle into two equal parts?

That's where I draw the line.

Politics Is the Most Accurate Word In English

It's made up of two other parts.
1 - Poly - meaning many
2 - Ticks - blood s**... insects.

Different body parts rate each other

The Brain to the Liver: You're a 6.
The Spleen to the Colon: You're a 7.
The u**... to the Bladder: Urinate.

Parts joke, Different body parts rate each other

jokes about parts