parton Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious parton puns

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, but are told only one can get into the pearly gates.

St. Peter asks Queen Elizabeth what makes her special enough to enter Heaven. Elizabeth takes out a douche bottle and douches herself.

St. Peter asks Dolly what makes her special enough to get into Heaven. Dolly opens up her shirt and flashes her chest.

St. Peter lets Queen Elizabeth in instead of Dolly, because a royal flush always beats a good pair.


Gates of Heaven

One night Dolly Parton and Princess Diana were playing a Poker game when both of them spontaneous combust, and died. Both are sent up to the gates of Heaven and put in front of God.

God says, "For either of you to get into heaven, you must tell me something about you that qualifies you to enter the gates."

Dolly steps up first saying, "Well God, I have these enormous breasts the world has appreciated throughout my career."

God retorts with, "I'm sorry, but that does not allow you to enter."

Princess Diana comes up to God and says, "Well God, at least once a day I would douche my vagina."

God responds, "Very well Diana, you may enter into heaven."

Stunned, Dolly asks, "Why was she allowed to enter for douching once a day and my breasts don't allow me to enter Heaven?"

God responds, "Come on Dolly, everyone knows a royal flush beats a great pair."


You know why Dolly Parton has small feet?

Nothing grows in the shade.


Dolly Parton and Princess Diana are at the pearly gates of Heaven...

St Peter, standing guard, asks them to share their contributions with him. Dolly Parton lifts her shirt and shows him her boobs. Then Princess Diana takes a cup, pees in it, and hands it to St Peter. St Peter asks them to hold on for a moment and then walks away. When he returns, he lets Princess Diana in but refuses entry to Dolly Parton. Dolly Parton is shocked and asks why she can't come in. St Peter replies, "Sorry, but a royal flush beats a pair."


TIL Dolly Parton has small feet...

I guess nothing grows in the shade.


My Blasphemous Joke..

So, Dolly Parton and the Queen of England somehow end up dying at the same moment and find themselves at the Pearly Gates in front of St. Peter.

He tells them both that there's only enough room for one of them to pass, so they need to prove themselves.

Dolly Parton simply opens her blouse and shows Peter her extremely large, expensive fake boobs and says "just look at these! They belong in Heaven!"

Impressed, Peter nods the "not bad" and looks over to the Queen.

The Queen simply takes out a bottle of Dom PΓ©rignon, opens and then proceeds to douche with it.

Absolutely stunned, Peter just motions the Queen to pass without a word. A stunned Dolly asks Peter "what gives?!"

He simply states: "Easy. A Royal Flush beats two pair any day."


Me and my flat chested wife went to see a marriage counsellor today.

The counsellor asked us; "What seems to be the problem?" "Well," I said, "Dolly Parton here thinks I'm too sarcastic."


What does Dolly Parton put in her swimming pool?

Chlorine chlorine chlorine chlorineeeee


Dolly Parton and her bra designer have stopped talking.

In fact Ms Parton said they haven't spoken since the two fell out.


The Queen and Dolly Parton die on the same day...

The Queen and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before St. Peter to find out if they'll be admitted to heaven.

Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so St. Peter asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to heaven.

She takes off her top and says, "Look at these. They're the most perfect ones God ever created, and I'm proud to own them."

St. Peter thanks Dolly, and asks the Queen the same question.

She then drops her skirt and panties, takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and douches with it.

St. Peter says, "OK, Your Majesty, you may go in."

Dolly is outraged. She screams, "What was that all about? I show you two of God's own creations, she performs a disgusting hygiene act, and gets in, and I don't?!!!"

"Sorry, Dolly," says St. Peter, "But a royal flush beats a pair any day."

My friend just sent me that and it made my Friday.


I saw Dolly Parton at the grocery store.

She had a loaf of bread and two jugs of milk.


Which whales enjoy Dolly Parton the most?

Baleen, baleen, baleen, BA-LEEEEEN.


What are the most funny Parton jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Parton? Well, here are the best Parton dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Parton pick up lines to share with friends.


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