The Best 35 Partners Jokes

Following is our collection of Partners jokes which are very funny. There are some partners alliance jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these partners partner puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

I asked my Welsh mate how many sexual partners he's had.

He started counting and fell asleep.

I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had.

He started counting but fell asleep.

A guy comes home from work and he is clearly upset.

His wife looks concerned and asks him what's wrong. He shakes his head and refuses to say anything.

Later, during dinner, he's just pushing his food around on his plate and staring out the window.

"Honey, what is it? I've never seen you like this before," the wife says.

"It's . . . nothing," he says. "I can't burden you with my problems. It wouldn't be fair."

"*Your* problems?" the wife says. "We are partners. We face everything together. Your problem is my problem. There is no I, just we. Now please, tell me, what is it?"

"Well," he says, looking up at her glumly. "we got our secretary pregnant and now she's suing us for support."

My girlfriend asked me to name off all my sexual partners in order...

I probably should've stopped when I got to her name

Honey, remember how when we started dating you told me you were an insomniac and I told you I only had five sex partners?

Neither of us were counting sheep.


A Welsh man is in bed with his girlfriend [NSFW]

A Welsh man is in bed with his girlfriend, and they're thinking about getting it on. As they're getting ready, the girlfriend asks the man how many sexual partners he's had.

He begins to count, and soon he falls asleep.

I'm always frank with my sexual partners.

I wouldn't want them to know my real name.

- Doctor, I want to live very old

- Do you drink?
- Never, only water.
- You smoke?
- Oh no, my body is a temple
- Do you have crazy nights out dancing while doing cocaine and coming back home to have unprotected sex with multiple partners?
- Never, I'm single and abstinent.
- I see. So could you explain me exactly why you want to live old?

A man asks his Welsh friend how many sexual partners he's had to this day

The Welshman starts counting but falls asleep.

Two couples decided to swap partners for sex

Two couples decided to swap partners for sex.

Afterwards, one of the guys said," That felt great! I wonder how the girls are doing."

New secretary

Frank and Harry have been business partners for many years. They had just employed a new secretary and Frank had taken her out.

"How was it?" inquired Harry.

"Fantastic! And i don't mind saying, that she's far better in the cot than my wife."

A couple of weeks later, Harry took the secretary out, and the following morning, he said, "You're right Frank, she is better than your wife!"

Top Partners Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore partners ally reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean partners fellows dad jokes. There are also partners puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My Welsh Friend

I asked my welsh mate how many sexual partners he had had, but I never got to find out. Everytime he tried counting them he fell asleep.

I asked a kiwi how many sexual partners he had had...

He fell asleep counting.

A man works up courage to ask his wife how many sexual partners she had before him

She says "really?" and goes silent. Doesn't say anything in the morning. Or afternoon. Or the next day. After 3 days, husband approaches his wife and apologetically asks - "Why are you giving me the silent treatment? Are you mad at me for that stupid question?"

Raising her finger she says "Shhh. Be quiet, I'm still counting"

How does a necrophiliac date his sexual partners?

Carbon-14.

My gay best friend and I started calling ourselves "Lab partners"

Sometimes we like to experiment.

I asked my Welsh friend how many partners he's had in his life...

he started to count and he fell asleep.

Two couples are getting bored with their sex lives, so they decide to swap partners

After a night of wild passionate sex, Mike wakes up, rolls over, kisses his new lover, and says, "Last night was absolutely mind-blowing! Come on. Let's go see how the ladies made out."

My redneck cousin wants to be with a girl who is into multiple partners.

Cracker wants a poly.


My brother and I are partners in a shoe business but we decided to split the business

Now I am the sole proprietor.

A married astronaut couple just got divorced...

It's not that they were bad partners, it's just that they both needed some space.

Apparently, Nevada has the highest rate of depression and disloyal partners.

What a sad state of affairs.

My doctor asked how many sexual partners I've had over the last year.

I said, "Just one, but don't tell my wife!"

My redneck cousin is looking for a girl into multiple partners. I told him that was ridiculously clichΓ©...

I mean really. Cracker wants a poly?

A man would like to live 150 years

He goes to the doctor and asks if it may be possible:

The doctor asks : « Do you drink alcohol? 
- Not at all.
- Do you do drugs ?
- Never ever!
- Do you have numerous sexual partners?
- No.Β Β»

The doctor then looks the man deep in the eye and asks: « then why the hell do you want to live 150 years?? »

Cheating is one of the worst things a person can do.

But that is not the worst part. The worst part is that I just found out all my current partners are doing it!

Irish Swingers

Two Irish couples decide to swap partners for the night.

After 3 hours of amazing sex, Paddy says: "I wonder how the girls are getting on".

The Jones and the Smiths decided to try swinging…

… so they left for the week-end to a mountain resort where they rented two cabins, and they swapped partners for the night.

The next morning, Joe Smith woke up, and said let's go see how the ladies are doing …

[NSFW]Four robbers break into a bank at midnight.

As they open the vault, there are only boxes. One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt.

"We didn't find any money, but we got something to eat," he tells his partners. They eat their fill and leave.

The next morning's newspaper headline reads, "World's Largest Sperm Bank Robbed."

What does Nvidia and Donald trump have in common.

They both use hush agreements to silence their "partners"

My friends joke he made up!!

Why can you ask a NewZealander how many sexual partners they have had?

Because he would fall asleep counting all the sheep.

(Btw we are Australian sooo)

I asked my Welsh friend how many sexual partners he'd had

He started to count but he fell asleep

A few partners and myself are planning to open a combination chiropractic office and marijuana dispensary.

It's going to be a joint joint joint joint joint.

If having two sex partners is bigamy, and anything above that is polygamy, what is it called when having a single sex partner?

Monotony

A priest told me that he only like his partners like the evening

I responded asking him what he meant by liking his partners like the evening.



He replied he only liked them from 6 through to 12.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the partners sex jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working partners companion piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes